Yes it is. In case of a disaster/apocalypse if I'm not dead right away I think I'll randomly kill/torture some of those who mocked me if I can before getting kiled, just to know how it feels like. People seems to have fun making me suffer, I'd like to experience it first-hand. I think I've earnt this bit of karmic right by now. But I'm not gonna do it otherwise, only if society and law collapse, hopefully it won't happen, I love my job and, besides, I'm too frail, weak and sick to survive an apocalypse.