Rant of a disillusioned balding man

[PedroPierrePeter]

I always promised myself that if my hair loss became noticable, i.e. regular comments and a diminished ability to style, that i would shave it to a grade 2 and admit defeat. Alas, I think that the time has come and I am resigned, as many of you are, to spend the rest of my life with skin as a 'hairstyle'. I wish it didn't bother me but it does...I find it repulsive. It's like being dismembered or horribly scarred and it warps your self-image. hence eroding self-confidence. I don't feel like me without hair...sometimes I catch sight of myself in a mirror and I'm shocked by what I see. I had a stunning girlfriend and was used to pulling good-looking girls but them days are gone and I'm only 23!

Recently, I went for a hair cut and as usual the barber crucified my hair but to an even worse extent then usual. Having my hair quite short made me realise how terrible it looks as the longer style I'd been maintaining didn't show the scalp or the temples as much. I've been going bald since I was 14 but over the past 2 years it's accelearted markedly, even more so during the last 8 months. I am going to lose every hair on the top of my head and quick...what remains is in terrible condition, lacks pigmentation and grows incredibly slowly. I've just bought a 3 month supply of regaine but I'm scared to start using it cause once you start you can never stop, compelled to apply some awful liquid to your scalp day in day out forever. Part of me feels like male pattern baldness will consume me if I don't learn to accept it but then again, I want hair. Hormonal susceptability has destroyed my body...not only am I losing my hair at a tremendous rate but I'm also hideously hairy, it's an absolute nightmare. I can see it now, I'll shave my head and then everytime I meet someone I haven't seen for a long time, they'll pass comment like it's a joke and old flames will congratulate themselves for severing all ties with me while the going was good. I can't wait!

One question I have concerns Nizoral. This is the only 'product' I've used thus far and if anything I really believe that it's made my hair a lot worse. Does anyone on this forum think that it's possible that Nizoral can invoke a shed?

 

[iamnaked]

I always promised myself that if my hair loss became noticable, i.e. regular comments and a diminished ability to style, that i would shave it to a grade 2 and admit defeat. Alas, I think that the time has come and I am resigned, as many of you are, to spend the rest of my life with skin as a 'hairstyle'. I wish it didn't bother me but it does...I find it repulsive. It's like being dismembered or horribly scarred and it warps your self-image. hence eroding self-confidence. I don't feel like me without hair...sometimes I catch sight of myself in a mirror and I'm shocked by what I see. I had a stunning girlfriend and was used to pulling good-looking girls but them days are gone and I'm only 23!

Recently, I went for a hair cut and as usual the barber crucified my hair but to an even worse extent then usual. Having my hair quite short made me realise how terrible it looks as the longer style I'd been maintaining didn't show the scalp or the temples as much. I've been going bald since I was 14 but over the past 2 years it's accelearted markedly, even more so during the last 8 months. I am going to lose every hair on the top of my head and quick...what remains is in terrible condition, lacks pigmentation and grows incredibly slowly. I've just bought a 3 month supply of regaine but I'm scared to start using it cause once you start you can never stop, compelled to apply some awful liquid to your scalp day in day out forever. Part of me feels like male pattern baldness will consume me if I don't learn to accept it but then again, I want hair. Hormonal susceptability has destroyed my body...not only am I losing my hair at a tremendous rate but I'm also hideously hairy, it's an absolute nightmare. I can see it now, I'll shave my head and then everytime I meet someone I haven't seen for a long time, they'll pass comment like it's a joke and old flames will congratulate themselves for severing all ties with me while the going was good. I can't wait!

One question I have concerns Nizoral. This is the only 'product' I've used thus far and if anything I really believe that it's made my hair a lot worse. Does anyone on this forum think that it's possible that Nizoral can invoke a shed?

minoxidil isn't that bad as far as I'm concerned. It's just like wearing contacts or having to take pills. Once it becomes part of your daily routine you just kind of start to forget about it.

All I can really say is that if it really bothers you, you should do something about it. I am having great results with a combination of minoxidil, dutasteride, and topically applied spironolactone, which I would recommend to anyone.

 

[News2]

... to spend the rest of my life with skin as a 'hairstyle'...

That's a terribly pessimistic view. HM (hair multiplication) is probably just a few years away - some say as little as two years. (And you're still young.) But I know what you mean: Hairloss is a very frustrating condition.

 

[Thinning]

Yup,

It sucks to be you now, just like a lot of us. I used to pull in all kinds of hot girls, now Im lucky to have a "cute" girlfriend. But no women will appreciate you as much now that your hairloss is bad. You are no longer a "catch" no matter how much money you make or how good of shape you are in. You will now have to make up for it with other qualities, but even then the days of you dating hotties is gone.

Also girls your age will start calling you sir, and people will guess your age 5-10 years older than what you are. Get ready for it.

My body hair got pretty bad also, but I groom myself so much nobody would know it. I shave, wax, nair, do whatever it takes to keep my back, shoulders, arms smooth and my chest nearly hair free. My advice to you is do the same or you will get repulsed faces when you disrobe in front of women for the first time.

 

[tchehov]

This is one of the most sensible posts on the psychology of hair loss that I’ve read on this Forum, and I’ve been lurking here for quite a while. In fact, it’s so good it has prompted my first post.

It is almost impossible to treat hair loss with any degree of emotional intelligence – I can make my own psychological adjustments to accept the sudden stranger I see in the mirror every morning, but I cannot make that adjustment on behalf of others – and it is their response which hurts me most. I cannot respond to their contempt/pity with any degree of sense. Recently I ran into an old girlfriend who, seeing the extent of my hair loss, told me she thought she’d had a lucky escape from me. Cruel? No, I don’t think so. Honest? Yes. Don’t get me wrong – this was no tramp, this was a smart and often compassionate woman, and she respected me enough to give the truth upfront. But I walked away devastated.

Women talk about a change of life – I feel men should steal that phrase on behalf of hair loss. My life has changed completely. I wear a hat at all times to hide a part of my body which I regard as disfigured. I often avoid social and business events. I have had to change my diet, my daily habits and spend a fair amount of time educating myself about my body at an age when these things shouldn’t really worry me. The quality of my life has declined markedly. Intellectually, I am as robust as ever. Socially, I am a dead man.

PedroPierrePeter – I too made the transition to a shaved head. It has proved traumatic, and it is repulsive. The shape of my head doesn't help. Regarding Nizoral I have been using it for six weeks now with no shed (that I’ve noticed) but it has caused acne on my right temple. I have also bought a 3 months supply of 5% Rogaine which I am frightened to commit myself to using (I am a diffuse thinner all over, particularly bad on the crown). For the time being I am going the natural route, without much hope.

I wish you every luck in your fight. That goes to everyone else too.

 

[Bet24]

Recently I ran into an old girlfriend who, seeing the extent of my hair loss, told me she thought she’d had a lucky escape from me. Cruel? No, I don’t think so. Honest? Yes.

sorry to tell you this, but that girl is just trash. A shallow trash

so?, she only was with you because of your looks?, man that is sad.



you guys need more confidence..., if you base your entire life around the way your hair or your body looks.... you guys will be in a lot of trouble :wink:

 

[Thinning]

if you base your entire life around the way your hair or your body looks.... you guys will be in a lot of trouble :wink:

The problem is not that you base your life on how you look, its that others base your value in life based on your looks.

People are extremly superficial. Just today I went to the mall for lunch. I happen to be dressed up very nicely because I am meeting my girlfriend for dinner in a nice ( expensive ) restaurent. Some semi attractive lady approached me, a few years older than I normally date, and asked for the time. When I told her, she struck up a lame conversation, trying to flirt.

The only reason this lady approached me is because I was wearing nice clothes. If I had been dressed in my normal software programming attire, she would have avoided me like the plague.

Face it, women react to men based almost entirely on appearance, and going bald is a massive hit to your appearance.

 

[Bet24]

Face it, women react to men based almost entirely on appearance, and going bald is a massive hit to your appearance.

And BAM! there is another problem, base a big part of your life around women.....


a pretty lame life equation:

worried about how you look + women = a lot of trouble and sadness...




Just be yourself man, your life will be much more easy.

 

[tchehov]

Just be yourself man, your life will be much more easy.

There is the physical reality of myself, which is a balding man, and my self-image which is not. It's not always easy to reconcile the two.

 

[newguytothisforum]

Face it, women react to men based almost entirely on appearance, and going bald is a massive hit to your appearance.

And BAM! there is another problem, base a big part of your life around women.....


a pretty lame life equation:

worried about how you look + women = a lot of trouble and sadness...




Just be yourself man, your life will be much more easy.

this dude thinks its that easy.

 

[H/B]

Exactly Bet. You know and i know it, but good luck with this crowd. If there is a flame of wisdom or hope, the negatives come out of the woodwork to pisss on it.

 

[tchehov]

Exactly Bet. You know and i know it, but good luck with this crowd. If there is a flame of wisdom or hope, the negatives come out of the woodwork to pisss on it.

I'm sorry - negativity gets to be a habit. It's a beautiful day outside, the highest temperatures in Ireland for ten years, and I'm worrying about how the sun might make my head shine. Kind of puts it all in perspective - ridculous.

 

[Bet24]

Exactly Bet. You know and i know it, but good luck with this crowd. If there is a flame of wisdom or hope, the negatives come out of the woodwork to pisss on it.

yeah man, and thats why this world is just a bunch of sad people...

I dont know... but if you guys want, just take a look at this site, a entire different way to deal and think about baldness....

just read the Message Board..... and open your mind a bit guys, almost all of you have the "MTV" stereotype cool looking guy in your heads.

 

[Thinning]

Face it, women react to men based almost entirely on appearance, and going bald is a massive hit to your appearance.

And BAM! there is another problem, base a big part of your life around women.....


a pretty lame life equation:

worried about how you look + women = a lot of trouble and sadness...




Just be yourself man, your life will be much more easy.

this dude thinks its that easy.

Yeah he is either married or never gets laid. Thats the only way you will not care what women think of you.

 

[Bet24]

Face it, women react to men based almost entirely on appearance, and going bald is a massive hit to your appearance.

And BAM! there is another problem, base a big part of your life around women.....


a pretty lame life equation:

worried about how you look + women = a lot of trouble and sadness...




Just be yourself man, your life will be much more easy.

this dude thinks its that easy.

Yeah he is either married or never gets laid. Thats the only way you will not care what women think of you.

ok... that reply just tell me one thing, your entire life is controlled by women.

what woman think of you? or what woman think of the way you looks?....

if thats the way you think, good look with that man.

 

[tchehov]

Hold on, guys. Most of the downbeat replies on this thread are newbies. But even we know that while it's easy to be simplistically negative the reverse is also true - it's easy to mindlessly positive. I've been going through a lot of the posts on this site - even the most experienced posters and advocates of the Big 3 have their moments of doubt. So give us a little space to work it out, please. Most of us new guys are at the beginning of a long fight, one we'd rather not have had to fight. I sound like freaking Winston Churchill...nutz.

 

[H/B]

.


Just be yourself man, your life will be much more easy.

this dude thinks its that easy.

Yeah he is either married or never gets laid. Thats the only way you will not care what women think of you.[/quote]


If you notice, there are bald guys who can pull hot chicks and then there are ones who can't. The ones who can, have character and have not let hairloss define them... that simple.

 

[Guest]

Recently I ran into an old girlfriend who, seeing the extent of my hair loss, told me she thought she’d had a lucky escape from me. Cruel? No, I don’t think so.

You need to work on your incredibly low self-esteem. That comment from your ex-girlfriend was incredibly cruel and you need to realize that.

 

[tchehov]

Recently I ran into an old girlfriend who, seeing the extent of my hair loss, told me she thought she’d had a lucky escape from me. Cruel? No, I don’t think so.

You need to work on your incredibly low self-esteem. That comment from your ex-girlfriend was incredibly cruel and you need to realize that.

I didn't think it was particularly bad - I've had worse, much worse. I don't know what kind of society you are part of but here, where I am, every physical defect is picked up on. Any weakness is used as an opportunity to gain advantage in social and working situations. Back when I had a full head I regarded those who lost their hair as slightly degenerate individuals. I apologise for that attitude and I'm paying for it. Perhaps there's a little natural justice in my situation. I don't think I have a problem with my self-esteem. I am just a product of the kind of society I live in, unfortunately. The girl told it like it is...

 

[Guest]

Recently I ran into an old girlfriend who, seeing the extent of my hair loss, told me she thought she’d had a lucky escape from me. Cruel? No, I don’t think so.

You need to work on your incredibly low self-esteem. That comment from your ex-girlfriend was incredibly cruel and you need to realize that.

I didn't think it was particularly bad - I've had worse, much worse. I don't know what kind of society you are part of but here, where I am, every physical defect is picked up on. Any weakness is used as an opportunity to gain advantage in social and working situations. Back when I had a full head I regarded those who lost their hair as slightly degenerate individuals. I apologise for that attitude and I'm paying for it. Perhaps there's a little natural justice in my situation. I don't think I have a problem with my self-esteem. I am just a product of the kind of society I live in, unfortunately. The girl told it like it is...

I can't speak to the UK but I'm from the US and have plenty of bald friends. They have never experienced even close to the level of scrutiny that you are describing. There have definitely been instances of it here but no friends of mine have ever experienced anything like that. And it is ironic that people in the UK would care about the physical "defect" of balding hair considering the state of their teeth and oral hygiene.

just kidding