Response From A Girl I've Been Seeing About My Hair Loss

[buckthorn]

Being on this forum, going through and seeing all the traumatic emotions Androgenetic Alopecia creates within us, really gives me some perspective into other people's minds. I am so used to people down playing male pattern baldness and acting like it's no big deal. My own father who commonly says, "it's just hair" is the same man who will strategically arrange the 20 strands he has left before family photos.

Anyways, I have been "dating" this pretty awesome, extremely intelligent and seemingly honest woman for a little bit. After sleeping together last night, she made some comment like,

"well, I roofied you, so expect to wake up with a half shaved head"
"good, you're half way there because in a few weeks, I am going to shave it all off"
" really, why?"
"I am tired of watching it go. I will take it before it takes me goddamnit" (me trying to act tough, like it's not a big deal and I am going to beat it)
" well, more power to you. If it makes you feel better about life, go for it. I will still think you're sexy" (I f*cking hate these generic responses)
"haha.. well, everyone says that until it actually happens. we will see"
"yeah, true.. it will be a drastic change and you will look a lot different...I can't imagine not being attracted to you. you might be less attractive, but attractive none the less and, just think about it, then I can ride your bald head"

ok, that last one made me laugh a bit. I have been really good about not ever bringing these things up because it NEVER does any good. It's getting to the point where I will actually have to shave it all off soon. I have no options, at all. every week it gets thinner and thinner and it's to the point where it looks like cobwebs, or a birds nest.

I will keep you posted on whether she stays or go's. it will be interesting because I know right now she's super attracted to me (covered in toppix or wearing a hat).

 

[EvilLocks]

My own father who commonly says, "it's just hair" is the same man who will strategically arrange the 20 strands he has left before family photos.

Everybody cares about going bald deep down, male or female, young or old. It does not matter what they say, they would take their hair back in a heartbeat if they had the chance.

 

[shookwun]

Good on you for finding someone. I find it amazing how people meet one person next thing they are dating. Did you meet her in real life?

Every girl I met online almost always never led anywhere. It might not help though that I bedded most on first encounters. However the ones where we took things slow ended up in ltr material.


Did you take things slow?

 

[kj6723]

I will be interested to see what happens. Hoping for the best for you bro. The fact that she made a sexual joke after you disclosed it could be a good sign.

Personally, I don't see myself ever disclosing this sh*t to a female if I can avoid it. I'm sure if I'm with someone for a while she'll eventually stumble upon minoxidil in my cabinet or become curious about the prescription I'm taking every morning...will just have to see how things play out

 

[buckthorn]

Good on you for finding someone. I find it amazing how people meet one person next thing they are dating. Did you meet her in real life?

Every girl I met online almost always never led anywhere. It might not help though that I bedded most on first encounters. However the ones where we took things slow ended up in ltr material.


Did you take things slow?

I met her online. She's my age and has her sh*t together. She takes great care of her body, has a good job and spends a lot of time with her family and nieces and nephews and such. Dante is right, we may already have the answer. I am one of those wild cards when it comes to baldness though. of course I will not look better, but perhaps my dark skin, bigger build and fact that I have diffused thinning will make it a little less drastic. Either way, to me, it's like my f*cking world is going to completely collapse.

- I honestly tried taking things slow, but on the third date we drank too much and it just happened, you know? I had not slept with anyone in like seven months and she was sitting next to me with her toned, freshly shaven legs sticking out of her booty shorts. it was too much to ask of any man.

 

[shookwun]

I met her online. She's my age and has her sh*t together. She takes great care of her body, has a good job and spends a lot of time with her family and nieces and nephews and such. Dante is right, we may already have the answer. I am one of those wild cards when it comes to baldness though. of course I will not look better, but perhaps my dark skin, bigger build and fact that I have diffused thinning will make it a little less drastic. Either way, to me, it's like my f*cking world is going to completely collapse.

- I honestly tried taking things slow, but on the third date we drank too much and it just happened, you know? I had not slept with anyone in like seven months and she was sitting next to me with her toned, freshly shaven legs sticking out of her booty shorts. it was too much to ask of any man.

That's good. Third date is a good sign on yourzelf and hers


Booty shorts and smooth legs is a lot to ask for of any man. FYI, if a women puts her legs on yours chance are she wants yu inside her. It's one of those fool proof hints

 

[buckthorn]

FYI, if a women puts her legs on yours chance are she wants yu inside her.

@Dench57 - MAN YOU ARE GETTING SO MANY NEW SIGS TODAY!!!! this is simply beautiful f*cking poetry.

 

[Dench57]

@Dench57 - MAN YOU ARE GETTING SO MANY NEW SIGS TODAY!!!! this is simply beautiful f*cking poetry.

nah my sig is full now. will take a legendary quote to replace these bad boys

 

[kj6723]

That night just walking in the club and locking eyes with chicks every where I went. It was surreal, and I was high as f*** on molly. I had an epiphany on life..... that was the night of the toupee---shookwun

Lol this one is f*****g amazing

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

@buckthorn has a lot of confidence so it doesn't matter that he's bald.

;-P

 

[Joan]

Buckthorn, I was actually wondering if you were still seeing this woman, since I think you only mentioned her once but liked her right off. I would have said the same things to you (even the last comment, except I'd wait for a few days' stubble ). Even the "generic" comment was sweet, and you'd probably say--and mean it--the same thing to a woman experiencing hair loss whom you really liked. I initially thought the "less-attractive" comment was uncalled for, but, hey, she was being honest, and if she's "the one," you'll value that honesty throughout life, even if it sometimes hurts. I think you mentioned you're a close-knit family, and I think it's a big-plus that you both have that in common. I'll look forward to your updates.

 

[Exodus2011]

yea joan id prefer the truth over anything, if she wud find me less attractive then so be it

theres no advantage or moral reason to lying about it

why i have a problem with SJWs. strangling freedom of speech is not the answer

 

[Runninghair]

You cant blame girls for disliking baldness. Its human nature. We like what we like. Alot of guys here need realise that girls have a right to pick what they find attractive just like men. So in the dating arena when things arent serious im not surprised some girls eventually are put off by a guys hair.

If a woman is married to a guy for ten yrs and he goes bald its a diff ball game. Theirs love there etc and yes she would be a complete shallow person to leave him for it. But the young girls guys talk about here and slag off is silly. Its not their fault.

Balding is a curse for a young dating guy. Major disadvantage. But blaming the girls attitude is wrong. Unfortunately just like the hair is falling out its all just nature.

 

[Roberto_72]

Buckthorn, I was actually wondering if you were still seeing this woman, since I think you only mentioned her once but liked her right off. I would have said the same things to you (even the last comment, except I'd wait for a few days' stubble ). Even the "generic" comment was sweet, and you'd probably say--and mean it--the same thing to a woman experiencing hair loss whom you really liked. I initially thought the "less-attractive" comment was uncalled for, but, hey, she was being honest, and if she's "the one," you'll value that honesty throughout life, even if it sometimes hurts. I think you mentioned you're a close-knit family, and I think it's a big-plus that you both have that in common. I'll look forward to your updates.

Me too @buckthorn, let us know how it all goes!
Imagine you have found the "love of your life" AND short short hair is a good palliative solution to your hairloss...

BTW: these stories show that users here keep an open mind about hair loss solutions. If everything fails, we are available to shave it. Go suggest the contrary avenue on most bald people forums (including Reddit bald, which is a sub community I adore nonetheless). They start 99% of arguments with suggesting "they are not fond of minoxidil over there"!

 

[buckthorn]

I would have said the same things to you (even the last comment, except I'd wait for a few days' stubble ).

DAMN!! You naughty girl.

 

[buckthorn]

@buckthorn has a lot of confidence so it doesn't matter that he's bald.

;-P

I am running low on confidence these days. Any one with "a lot of confidence" wouldn't spend time on a hair loss forum.

 

[That Guy]

Lol, like men can do that.

The vast majority of guys (unless they look like a male model) take what they can get.

Girls mostly turn down bald men because they would be ashamed to go out with one, because it wouldn't "feel right".

If they're attracted to a guy, it's not like you'll remove his hair and they'll become instantly dry.

Nope, girls who turn down bald men do it consciously, and yes, I blame them.

Hating baldness is not natural, no matter what the self-loathing crew will have you believe.

It is taught, socially constructed, and even encouraged from what I see in American movies and TV shows.

I have a 30 year old colleague who's a full NW7 with a thin donor. Last week, they were renovating the office so we had to work with new people.

These two girls who didn't know him were talking about him: "Wow, this guy is perfectly bilingual!" "Who?" "The one who sits here, you know!" "Oh yes, he's nice!"

0 mention of his bald head even to refer to him or to describe him. Europe is definitely not the US.

Here, baldness doesn't even register for a lot of people, even women. I know it didn't register at all for me before I started losing mine.

Whether baldness will be a deal-breaker for a girl or not heavily depends on the culture.

In Europe, you'll mostly be OK. In the US? From what I read here, I'm glad I didn't have to live as a bald guy there.

I'm afraid I can't agree with all of this.

Yes, it's true that society and the media does contribute a lot to the baldness hate, but you have to ask yourself what inspired this.

The answer is that "reality did".

Baldness, in Western societies, has almost never been seen as attractive for either sex. In many folktales, womens' hair is one of the first things that is used to describe her beauty in almost every one you read. "Prince Charming", both historic and the Disney versions? Full head of hair - ALWAYS. Statues and paintings from antiquity depicting pagan gods, warriors and the like? Norwood 0. The exceptions would be the Egyptians, as removal of hair due to heat and lice was common, but even then, people still wore wigs - always trying to mimic long, healthy hair.

Now, a part of this is because baldness is more common among older men and in the past, life expectancy didn't go much past 30. A young guy who was balding back when would have been subject to all kinds of superstitions, seen as aging too quickly, genetically inferior etc.

Still, hair has been an obsession and major point of aesthetics since the dawn of man. Even the Romans had very specific, gendered "rules" for wearing your hair and while excessive attention to hair was considered effeminate of men, it was still seen as aesthetically valuable. Julius Caesar wore a wreath to hide his receding hairline.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I'm afraid I can't agree with all of this.

Yes, it's true that society and the media does contribute a lot to the baldness hate, but you have to ask yourself what inspired this.

The answer is that "reality did".

Baldness, in Western societies, has almost never been seen as attractive for either sex. In many folktales, womens' hair is one of the first things that is used to describe her beauty in almost every one you read. "Prince Charming", both historic and the Disney versions? Full head of hair - ALWAYS. Statues and paintings from antiquity depicting pagan gods, warriors and the like? Norwood 0. The exceptions would be the Egyptians, as removal of hair due to heat and lice was common, but even then, people still wore wigs - always trying to mimic long, healthy hair.

Now, a part of this is because baldness is more common among older men and in the past, life expectancy didn't go much past 30. A young guy who was balding back when would have been subject to all kinds of superstitions, seen as aging too quickly, genetically inferior etc.

Still, hair has been an obsession and major point of aesthetics since the dawn of man. Even the Romans had very specific, gendered "rules" for wearing your hair and while excessive attention to hair was considered effeminate of men, it was still seen as aesthetically valuable. Julius Caesar wore a wreath to hide his receding hairline.

See also Samson and Delilah.

You're a little new here so I'll explain some background to you. Fred often likes to speak on behalf of all of Europe, and he'll say absurd things like "here in Belgium" and "here in Europe" for which he'll declare monolithic norms, which he'll then contrast to the nefarious norms in America which he hasn't spent time in.

It's a general problem on the internet not specific to Fred. A lot of people generalize from their own experience, and it never occurs to them that their experiences are a biased sample of reality, and not necessarily universal in applicability.

I've been living in Australia for four years now and have gotten to know a lot of locals. I would never paintbrush the country with strange statements like "Australian women are like this."

 

[buckthorn]

It's pretty simple here in the US

-If you're still attractive bald and over 30, especially mid thirties and above, it isn't really that big of a deal to a woman that's attracted to you. After a few dates, if she's physically attracted to you and into your personality then you're golden. It's just a matter of being attractive bald.

 

[That Guy]

It's just a matter of being attractive bald