Scaring myself into a hermit life

[cuebald]

its worthwhile, imho, to start on a holistic treatment which takes time to show results. A treatment that addresses various dimensions of wellness.

So how exactly do I do that? When can I expect my hair to start growing back?

 

[GeminiX]

It's great to see quite a few positive responses here from you guys who have pulled through, well done to you! I don't think those who have never experienced any form of depression can really appreciate how much it can affect ones life.

Even though I have been living with depression for as long as I can remember, I think I'm very fortunate that I'm able to recognise the "dark thoughts" and am almost always able to break myself out of it very quickly; as such it allows me to live a pretty good life.

As the OP posted, those feelings of becoming a hermit, and actually wanting that are very real. I can remember how much I wanted to just hide under my duvet for days at a time with the blinds closed, or spend hours in the bath reading novel after novel, ignoring the phone or door bell.

For me, what helped me deal with it was coming to terms with the fact that it was not *one* thing which was making me feel that way, even though I would always obsess over one thing; here for example a lot of guys seem to believe it's just hairloss which is causing it, for me it was gender; the reality though is awlays far more complex, depression just makes one obsess on a single thing (it's very common).

While there is no instant long term fix for depression, it can be beaten back and kept at bay. Honestly, I swear on my life and everything I hold of value that it can; but you have to take baby steps and actually want to beat it. Depression can be like an addiction, it's extremely common for sufferers to accept it and just want to stay in the funk.

I hope this helps,
Danielle x

 

[5rugrats9]

its worthwhile, imho, to start on a holistic treatment which takes time to show results. A treatment that addresses various dimensions of wellness.

So how exactly do I do that? When can I expect my hair to start growing back?

I'm afraid I don't have an answer to either of those. I doubt if anyone else does, either. There are suggestions, there are treatments others have tried. But please note that since a proven treatment to hair loss does not exist as of today, different people have to take different approaches according to how their problem stands today and how it evolved over time. Then there are questions like- are your hormones, your blood pressure, insulin levels, liver, blood count, etc., in order. Apart from these, environment, stress, fitness, age, and so many other factors are there. Since you are uniquely positioned to best diagnose and analyse your hair problems over a period of years, you can start out trying things forum members of similar problems have tried.

For eg, if you think your hair loss is triggered by dandruff, find out which kind of dandruff you might have, and whether it could be bacterial or fungal, etc., and what others with similar problems are taking as medication. Pick one or two (or more) of those things, stick with them for a few months, and observe how you are doing. Is it arresting hair loss and triggering growth? Does it have undesirable effects on other aspects of your well being? In that light, make the decision you are comfortable with, and that decision should start the process of making you happy now in the knowledge that you are doing your part to help yourself.

Please also realize that its very hard to assess what is working and what is not. Hair have their life cycle, coupled with body having its own rhythm, not to forget that with age there is a decline in everything. Then the treatment that one starts has its 'cycle' too. Finally, a personal observation, hairs are really hard to 'kill off' completely, they can go dormant but given the right conditions they can grow back
after years, so there is every reason to be hopeful.

DanielleX: maybe depression is a big sign sent out by our bodies/ psyche that the current direction our lives are taking are not healthy, and that changes are required for the inner self to be happy. The quest to find satisfaction in life after all is not trivial, especially when there often is burden of past to deal with. But one must march on.

 

[Nene]

Geminix make a great points. I want to add to what she's saying. We all have bad things happen to us, it seems some of us get more of a raw deal than others. Life never works out as we plan, none of us wanted to lose our hair but it's happening. We are confronted with negative situations all the time. We can't control anything that happens to us, we can only control how we react to the what happens. It is our responsibility to try our best to respond positively and make the most of life. If we are having trouble living life b/c of hair loss and can't move on, we need to find psychological or even spiritual help to overcome it. I know there was a point in my life where those words would probably just piss me off, and if you think what I wrote is nonsense, I don't blame you. But I leave you with this analogy. My favorite sport has always been boxing, the most exciting and beloved boxers are the ones who get up off the floor every time they hit the matt. Will you stay down for the count when you hit the matt or will you get up? Find a way to get back up guys.

 

[GeminiX]

Hey Nene, I *love* the beaten boxer analogy

 

[HatPrisoner91]

I know this has been all said before but.. I would probs just get a hair piece and continue with life as usual lol

Been there, tired it more than once. It's not worth it. It's a whole living hell on it's own. It's bad enough to feel shame about being bald; it's way worse to add the worry about being "caught" on top of it. If I was an actor, I would wear one but that is about it.

 

[Nene]

I know this has been all said before but.. I would probs just get a hair piece and continue with life as usual lol

Been there, tired it more than once. It's not worth it. It's a whole living hell on it's own. It's bad enough to feel shame about being bald; it's way worse to add the worry about being "caught" on top of it. If I was an actor, I would wear one but that is about it.

I can't say b/c I've never worn one but I think it's probably a big pain, impractical, and the constant worrying of being found out is probably very stressful. I think we're all better off trying medications or even a hair transplant if the hair loss isn't extensive, or just trying to find a way to accept the hair loss if it's too late for treatment.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

I can't say b/c I've never worn one but I think it's probably a big pain, impractical, and the constant worrying of being found out is probably very stressful. I think we're all better off trying medications or even a hair transplant if the hair loss isn't extensive, or just trying to find a way to accept the hair loss if it's too late for treatment.

Yeah true. If I wasn't a full blown NW6 I would look into these things again. But now I just have to understand that I will just never be happy.

 

[Nene]

I can't say b/c I've never worn one but I think it's probably a big pain, impractical, and the constant worrying of being found out is probably very stressful. I think we're all better off trying medications or even a hair transplant if the hair loss isn't extensive, or just trying to find a way to accept the hair loss if it's too late for treatment.

Yeah true. If I wasn't a full blown NW6 I would look into these things again. But now I just have to understand that I will just never be happy.

Look, I know balding sucks, I've been losing my hair since I was 17 and it's awful. I've had BDD and depression about it. Now, I know I'm only about Norwood 3 so I can't say I know what it is to be Norwood 6, but I will get there one day. It's not a death sentence. Maybe it means we'll never get laid, but you know what? Life is not only about being cute and banging cute girls. It's about making the most with the hand your dealt, enjoying the miracle that is life and making a difference/helping people out if you can. The club bar scene is pretty much over for me, but I'm still somewhat happy b/c I've found other things in my life that matter to me.

 

[Ori83]

Look, I know balding sucks, I've been losing my hair since I was 17 and it's awful. I've had BDD and depression about it. Now, I know I'm only about Norwood 3 so I can't say I know what it is to be Norwood 6, but I will get there one day. It's not a death sentence. Maybe it means we'll never get laid, but you know what? Life is not only about being cute and banging cute girls. It's about making the most with the hand your dealt, enjoying the miracle that is life and making a difference/helping people out if you can. The club bar scene is pretty much over for me, but I'm still somewhat happy b/c I've found other things in my life that matter to me.

well said, couldnt agree more!

yeah, it sucks all that we have to pass the shagging part so young lol, but we get to learn more about the world i guess. makes you tougher person imo

 

[barcafan]

Take it from someone who became an actual hermit for far too many years. Don't let yourself go down that route. No matter what. You only live once, and when the years go by, you can not have them back to do over. I am facing that now at 41 years old. God would I love to have the last 10 years of my life back for a "do over" but as we all know, it isn't going to happen. I will never be 30 something again, or 20 something.

Do whatever it takes. Just don't let yourself go down the lonely path of becoming a hermit. It is awful, and you miss out on EVERYTHING literally! Even when you finally "wake up" one day and realize you have let 10 years of your life go by filled with nothing but "emptiness," it is one of the worst, most depressing things you could imagine to have to deal with. It is almost like losing a loved one that is very close to you. In a way, you have: you have permanently lost a part of yourself for good.

Don't go down that route.

take this advice

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Look, I know balding sucks, I've been losing my hair since I was 17 and it's awful. I've had BDD and depression about it. Now, I know I'm only about Norwood 3 so I can't say I know what it is to be Norwood 6, but I will get there one day. It's not a death sentence. Maybe it means we'll never get laid, but you know what? Life is not only about being cute and banging cute girls. It's about making the most with the hand your dealt, enjoying the miracle that is life and making a difference/helping people out if you can. The club bar scene is pretty much over for me, but I'm still somewhat happy b/c I've found other things in my life that matter to me.

Speak to me when you are a NW6. Until that point, you honestly have no leg to stand on.

I don't care about getting laid, the club scene or any of that crap. I care about not looking like almost everyone around me in my age group. It's that simple. I also care about looking like crap over something that is not under my control.

 

[Nene]

Look, I know balding sucks, I've been losing my hair since I was 17 and it's awful. I've had BDD and depression about it. Now, I know I'm only about Norwood 3 so I can't say I know what it is to be Norwood 6, but I will get there one day. It's not a death sentence. Maybe it means we'll never get laid, but you know what? Life is not only about being cute and banging cute girls. It's about making the most with the hand your dealt, enjoying the miracle that is life and making a difference/helping people out if you can. The club bar scene is pretty much over for me, but I'm still somewhat happy b/c I've found other things in my life that matter to me.

Speak to me when you are a NW6. Until that point, you honestly have no leg to stand on.

I don't care about getting laid, the club scene or any of that crap. I care about not looking like almost everyone around me in my age group. It's that simple. I also care about looking like crap over something that is not under my control.

Well, if not looking like everyone else your age is the problem, then I have the same right to hate life that you do because most people my age are still Norwood 1.
If you don't care about the club scene and getting laid then why care about hair? The only real impediment baldness causes is in the dating scene. It won't hurt your professional life.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Well, if not looking like everyone else your age is the problem, then I have the same right to hate life that you do because most people my age are still Norwood 1.
If you don't care about the club scene and getting laid then why care about hair? The only real impediment baldness causes is in the dating scene. It won't hurt your professional life.

Are you serious with that last statement? That is not even close to the truth.

 

[GeminiX]

Well, if not looking like everyone else your age is the problem, then I have the same right to hate life that you do because most people my age are still Norwood 1.
If you don't care about the club scene and getting laid then why care about hair? The only real impediment baldness causes is in the dating scene. It won't hurt your professional life.

Are you serious with that last statement? That is not even close to the truth.

Peoples truths are relative.

As I've stated over and over, I (and many other people here) have given accounts where our hairloss has had very little significant impact on our social lives and careers. In fact, I would go as far as saying it's how we deal with the crap that life throws at us that defines us as people.

Everyone can find people better off and worse off than they are, it's just a matter of perspective and making the best of the good stuff.

I wonder how many more times we can have this same topic on here repeating over and over...

 

[Obsidian]

Well, if not looking like everyone else your age is the problem, then I have the same right to hate life that you do because most people my age are still Norwood 1.
If you don't care about the club scene and getting laid then why care about hair? The only real impediment baldness causes is in the dating scene. It won't hurt your professional life.

Are you serious with that last statement? That is not even close to the truth.

Peoples truths are relative.

As I've stated over and over, I (and many other people here) have given accounts where our hairloss has had very little significant impact on our social lives and careers. In fact, I would go as far as saying it's how we deal with the crap that life throws at us that defines us as people.

Everyone can find people better off and worse off than they are, it's just a matter of perspective and making the best of the good stuff.

I wonder how many more times we can have this same topic on here repeating over and over...

 

[Nene]

Well, if not looking like everyone else your age is the problem, then I have the same right to hate life that you do because most people my age are still Norwood 1.
If you don't care about the club scene and getting laid then why care about hair? The only real impediment baldness causes is in the dating scene. It won't hurt your professional life.

Are you serious with that last statement? That is not even close to the truth.

It's true. If you don't care about dating and girls, then why do you want hair? So you can be pretty for the sake of being pretty? What Geminix says is true. I hate going bald, but I have no control over it. The only thing I have control over is how I react to going bald. I can be a hermit and hate life, or I can try to make the best of this sh*t situation. It's too easy to hate life and quit, I choose the latter path. To figure out a way to continue living. Life is only so long, you can spent it upset about being bald, or you can spend it making the best of every day.

 

[superfrankie]

The only real impediment baldness causes is in the dating scene. It won't hurt your professional life.

Are you kidding me!? I cant believe you said that.

You get let in much easier in every aspect of life if you have a pleasant appearance. Especially when it comes to social situations.

For example: Do you know how much harder it is for a young lad with severe hairloss to get a job? Its very though! You get damned very often. Looks matter in this area. Every hot women I know have never had any problems whatsoever getting a job. Is it their fantastitc personality that gets them the jobs? Of course not!!

Its better to be physically attractive and unclever than being a genius and very unattractive in our society.

How much of an impediment it is in life for a guy with hair loss depends on the individual. Some hold it up well and notice no difference in the treatment from others, but the majoirty have it much harder from the time they began losing their hair. And this is not just a confidence thing. Far from it! Anyone who assert otherwise are full of BS.

 

[Obsidian]

For example: Do you know how much harder it is for a young lad with severe hairloss to get a job? Its very though!

That's not true, I have friends with very noticeable balding who have great jobs. You can chalk it up to lack of skills or the economy but not lack of follicles. If you come in dressed like a slob or casual then it doesn't show much care for the job.

 

[superfrankie]

For example: Do you know how much harder it is for a young lad with severe hairloss to get a job? Its very though!

That's not true, I have friends with very noticeable balding who have great jobs. You can chalk it up to lack of skills or the economy but not lack of follicles. If you come in dressed like a slob or casual then it doesn't show much care for the job.

Im not saying you cant get a nice job when being bald. My point is that generally it is harder to get employed in a situation like this. How much harder it is depends on how good you endure the look.