Slowly accepting my fate

[ghg]

So, I've been balding pretty rapidly for the past 2 years and don't have much hair on top left. But I think I'm slowly accepting my faith now that I've been buzzing my hair down to #3 for about 6 months straight, not even trying to grow it out anymore. Most of the time I enjoy having a low-maintenance buzz but I only wish I had all my hair left, it would look so much better. Anyway, I guess I'll have to accept my loss in a genetic lottery and move on. I've been studying pretty hard this spring and my goal is to graduate as an IT engineer in about a month (or 1st thing in the fall if plan 1 fails). I wasted 2 years of my youth feeling sorry for myself and I'm not gonna get them back. I decided it was time to stop the time wasting and start trying again. At least I now have had the confidence to lose the hat when I'm outside, that was a big step but it's not that bad after all. I don't think I get a lot of stares or anything, I'm just another balding young man I guess. It's hard though since I don't even look my age (I'm 25) but much younger. My only hope is that I don't come off as a young neo-nazi or anything, I f*****g hate that bunch for ruining the shaved/buzzed look for so many years (and even more because of the way they think ).

 

[optimus prime]

Re: Slowly accepting my faith...

For me also, the hardest part of hair loss was psychological. I found it hard to accept myself or recognise me with hair loss when looking in the mirror. Many people use to say I looked like JD from Scrubs (Zack Braff), mainly because I had the same hair, loads of it, and just crazy.
When I shaved my head, It looked weird in my eyes, I did really feel like it was me, but gradually after a year and a half of keeping it buzzed I feel like I am accepting myself for who I am and moving on with my life.

Good for you for accepting it. I think it’s the hardest part. I guess others don’t pick up on hair loss as much as us lot, I watched The Transporter again recently, and first time around I never even picked up how bald Jason Statham was. I only noticed now because I look out for it.

Also as a kid my dad was always bald, I never even asked myself why he was bald and other men weren’t….I think once you can accept it, then others won’t pick up on it as an issue.

 

[ghg]

Re: Slowly accepting my faith...

Yeah, it's true that accepting my hairloss is one of the hardest things I've yet to come across. Generally I feel much better about it than I did, say a year ago when I was still crushed about the whole thing... I couldn't believe it was going so fast, probably still can't but I'm not panicked like I was then. This may sound old but working out has helped a lot with the confidence + it's a fun hobby. I'm not too serious about it but I hit the gym twice a week and try to do the exercises properly to build some muscle. I have managed to shed a lot of fat from my stomach and tone my body some and I generally look much better than I did when I started. It's nice to see that the efforts pay off.

What's making it harder for me is that I never thought that I'd go bald, especially not this soon. Just because my dad isn't bald. How stupid was that? It was like a lightning strike when the barber broke the news 2 years ago.

 

[Dario]

Re: Slowly accepting my faith...

FINALLY SOMEONE CLEVER!!!

People here just dont realize how much they are really loosing because they are depressed.

 

[metalheaddude]

Re: Slowly accepting my faith...

Accepting your faith? Did you mean to type "fate?"

Anyway I agree about the gym thing. Over the past 3-4 months i've got very fat and have not been working out and have just in general been VERY lazy. My hairloss has accelerated quite rapidly in the past 3 months on my right temple and its extremelly hard to deal with. But I think I have seen it this bad before and have bounced back (At least thats what I tell myself) But the hairloss has almost consumed my every thought. Not good. But im slowly learning to deal with it. It just takes time.

Have you considered a hair transplant ghg?

I remember seeing a guy on Armani's website with your EXACT same hairloss pattern and the results were just amazing!

 

[ghg]

Re: Slowly accepting my faith...

Yeah I meant fate... :$ . I haven't got money for hair transplant, I need to graduate first and get a job and stuff. And I probably still wouldn't opt for hair transplant, I don't want to get scarred.

 

[ghg]

Does hairloss make anyone else really moody? I mean, I never used to be like this, I was a very stable person whose emotions didn't swing from side to side all the time. Now I can suddenly get real "depressed" over something, usually it's when I think about the severity of my hairloss considering my age (25). It's such an embarrassment to be almost bald at this age, I'd give anything to keep my hair 'til I'm 30 but that ain't happening. No one really understands how I feel and I can't talk about my feelings to anyone, which makes it twice as hard. I just have to act like I'm ok and positive all the time even when I feel like moving to Africa or something just to get away from this all :mrgreen: .

EDIT: Oh yeah, I'm seeing a therapist every once in a while and it's really helpful to be able to speak about my problems with someone. It's only like once in a month, though so not enough really. I will never fully forgive my parents for giving me such shitty genes and then claiming I'm crazy when I say that I'm balding.

 

[s.a.f]

Dont worry you're not the craziest on this forum, you're not even a contender for that title. :hairy:

 

[s.a.f]

BTW how did you start going to a therapist did your parents make you or was it your idea?

 

[optimus prime]

I remember the exact moment I saw my bald spot on my crown. After coming out of the shower and looking in the mirror. I didn't sleep that night and my insomnia kicked in about 3 weeks later.

My mood was foul. I would go into work, sit at my desk, and not talk to anyone unless I had to. I would be rude and quiet. I put headphones on and listen to music all day. This lasted until I resigned. I couldn't hack it, sitting at my desk while picking hairs off my keyboard.

Then the smart remarks started to come, 'you have more hair on your face then on your head'...etc …etc. So one day I just walked out, signed a doctor’s form with stress and never returned. (To be fair, I was suffering from insomnia at the time). After quitting I shaved my head, felt refreshing and got a job as a labourer on a building site. (I am a graduate in IT...kind of a job change). After doing that for about 6 months, my hair started to improve a little and it gave me time to adjust to the fact I was losing hair. I then went back into IT and got a job where nobody knows me.

The sad thing is I am cutting almost everyone out of my life who knew me when I had hair. Which I don’t want but makes me feel better.

But in regard to moods, like GHG was saying. The other month I was in a great mood laughing and joking with my g/f. Then I caught myself in the mirror and saw my hair and just felt low. I didn’t really talk much that evening and went moody and serious. When that happens I know it’s time to shave my head again. Never really gets longer than half an inch.

 

[ghg]

But in regard to moods, like GHG was saying. The other month I was in a great mood laughing and joking with my g/f. Then I caught myself in the mirror and saw my hair and just felt low. I didn’t really talk much that evening and went moody and serious. When that happens I know it’s time to shave my head again. Never really gets longer than half an inch.

Damn, that's me exactly! I can be so much fun when I don't think about all this stuff and then suddenly bam! A mirror which reflects the true nature of my hairloss and the good mood is gone gone gone. Sometimes I even get so anxious that I have to leave the room just to be alone for a while.

BTW how did you start going to a therapist did your parents make you or was it your idea?

My own idea, my parents don't really support me with that one either. They think going to therapy means being hopelessly crazy. They just don't understand how devastating it is to lose your hair when you're this young. One time was hilarious when I tried to talk about this with my father, he then got on about how he's sooo frigging depressed about his thinning hair. I said that you're over 60 for fucks sake, what would have you done if you had started to lose your hair when you were 23! Think about that...

 

[Dario]

Yesterday I was in an elevator with 3 girls...
Lucky for me, the inside of the elevator was filled with ultra, mega3000 bright lights and was full of mirrors...
Man that was fun...where ever you look you can clearly see glowing parts of your head.
Day before I was on the drink with my friends and I saw one of our famous model....

....kissing with the bald guy.

....anyway...lately I'm avoiding sun when it's high above the horizon. I also avoid not to get wet....so I stopped playing football(soccer). Like some of you I also spend time counting hairs on the keyboard at my workplace.
Funny thing is...I'm unix sys. admin Looks like IT is made for bald plp. :dunno:

But here's the issue....I wasn't in relationship for about a year and half...
I noticed that one really hot girl is checking me in gym...well not one, but two!
Of course I dont have an issue with that, but the problem is that I'm always thinking what if I approach and she discovers that I'm loosing hair....but then again....what if they already noticed that...
What if the things go just fine and after 3 or 6 months my hairloss becomes more obvious??? How would she react???

Another problem is that in about 2 months I'm going to summer vacation with friends....I was thinking...how on earth will I be able to swim without getting my hair wet?

You know what would be good? If male pattern baldness was actually affecting only hairs in your ***. I mean why on earth do we get the hairs where we dont need them and in the same time we loose hair where we need it desperately????? :badmood:
It doesn't make any sense!
Consider how lucky we would be if male pattern baldness was affecting only a**h** hair!
Plp would come and say "oh man lucky you...you have male pattern baldness....I must get my *** waxed every month"


(as always sorry for bad English)

 

[Dario]

hehe....this picture was taken maybe half an hour after I realized that I have male pattern baldness. As you can see I was full of joy.
Believe me...it was the worst day ever!

I remember that we were discussing to which beach to go to....
...guess what...I didn't go. At that very moment I was thinking to pack my things and get back home.

After a week I got back to my daily job and one of my colleague said "hey you're BALDING!".
I felt like punching him straight to his face...


Today, same as ghg Im slowly starting to accept the fact that sooner or later I'll be completely bald. I dont gain much hope in medical industry to help us...if something comes in the near future great, if not...life goes on. I see happy baldies all the time.
I just know that it shouldn't be the reason for major depression in my life....since I'm witnessing that all plp have some problems. It would really be a big joy if the male pattern baldness will be the only problem in our lives.

 

[metalheaddude]

Doesnt look like your balding? :dunno: Infact it looks like you have the PERFECT mature hairline for a caucasian male that suits your face and age. Women would be totally into you based on that pic. The hairline makes you look manly and masculine. You would not want it any lower as it would just look to juvenile and feminine. I would love my hairline like yours but really THICK. A thick NW2 looks amazing. Just my opinion.

 

[optimus prime]

I have an awesome hair line. I thank God every day for my hair line. Its my dam crown. I have a double crown, which makes it twice as worse.

 

[dresden]

So did you all just gave up on treatments? i mean, do you still continue trying to stop it or just gave all up and accepted beying bald?
What if someone gets into the big 3, plus dutasteride lets say twice a week, plus spironolactone, revivogen and flutamide? would that still be not enough?

 

[ghg]

I'm still using Rogaine Foam but I dropped finasteride because it gave me sides. Unfortunately those sides seem to be permanent as they're still "on" over 3 months after quitting finasteride.

 

[s.a.f]

Trust me no women will look at you and think that you're balding. Until you pass NW3 people just dont seem to realise.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Well, I'm slowly accepting my face. :freak:

 

[Dario]

Doesnt look like your balding? :dunno:

Trust me...I am.

Infact it looks like you have the PERFECT mature hairline for a caucasian male that suits your face and age.

Yeah....if it were symmetrical it would look good.

A thick NW2 looks amazing. Just my opinion.

Agree with you here, but ony if its very thick.