The Struggle And Anger Grows With Every Passing Day

[Guzam]

Having a moment ......

I locked myself out of the house this morning, which has set me back a few hours. I know that once I get home, I will need at least an hour and a half to shower up and get my hair in such a style that I'm ok with going out in public. But that's the thing - the time it's taking me to get ready now has really become a deterrent to the point where I don't even want to leave my place. It was already bad enough with the time I spend shaving body hair.

It's pathetic. It's freakin' 70 degrees and sunny outside here with spring training baseball starting this weekend. Yet here I am, as self-conscious and depressed as ever as to what is transpiring at the top of my head. I've weathered some insecurities before i.e. being skinny when I was younger, financial problems, and who can forget the body hair I've meticulously manscaped for the last 10+ years. But this hair loss thing is a battle like I've never experienced. Just one cold hard look in the mirror can alter my mood like nothing else on this planet.

In some ways I don't even want to be around anyone, not only because of how my hair looks but because of my mental state. I don't want them to see me so downtrodden. It's like a sickness I don't want to spread. Not to mention it's getting harder and hard to fake like I'm ok on the outside.

In a panic, I finally forced myself to buy the set of dermarollers I've been eyeballing for the last year or so. What the f- have I been doing in that timeframe? I could've already been at this giving a good shot at rehabbing my scalp - instead I've just been paralyzed with indecision from the endless researching.

You know what has also been hell? I've been without a car for the last 7 months or so. Every single day I hitch a ride to/from work with my father. That means every single day I get a good look at the end game for my hair. He's a man who has never taken care of himself and is an alcoholic whereas I workout and eat clean. All that doesn't matter though .... it's these despicable genetics I inherited from him that are robbing me of my ability to function like a normal person.

Welcome friend. You've sank deep into the shadow realm of hair loss induced BDD. You're among fellows here, the few who dare to speak up.

You're rather mature but still too young to lose your hair. If you want to maintain (probability of regrowth is low given your age) you have to get on finadteride immediately. Be thankful you've been relatively lucky: people get to NW3 diffuse at 21.

I assure you this sh*t won't go away. If you don't fight, you'll accept the loss after years of grieving and you'll lose a part of your identity, with all the due consequences, for example you'll never be as confident as you were. Women won't look at you a certain way and men will treat you differently.

If you choose to fight, know you're fighting a losing battle. Hair loss is still more powerful than treatments. This means that ideally you'll never stop fighting. Yet, you have finasteride and FUE hair transplants which are achieving higher quality every year that passes. You can achieve some success and some peace of mind which you have clearly lost in its entirety.

My advice, as always, is to book the appointment with the dermatologist and ask about the treatment. in case of failure or weak success, there's the surgeon. It's uphill and taxing both to fight and not to fight.

You choose. You'll always be welcome on impact when you want to vent. That's what I do and people here are good.

 

[Schitz Popinov]

Why have you been without wheels for so long, Pop?

Also, have you pretty much thrown in the towel at this point as far as chicks are concerned?

And this is even more fun ... my old man is in his 60s and has fuller hair than me.

Got the genetic cheap-shot from my mom's old man.

Good thing the guy's dead or I might be serving a life sentence for homicide ... lol.

Where are you at in the norwood scale right now?

Unfortunately the radiator cracked in my car - fluid got in the head gasket (which blew out) and then all kinds of sludge got in the engine. Had to sell it for piddly $500. Since I lost the 7k I would've had in trade-in value and my credit is not yet good enough for a quality interest rate, I decided to wait it out a little longer and put some more scratch together for an all-cash purchase. I do some trading on the side (stocks), so right around December I finally had 19k ready to go (could bump it to 20k if need be).

As for women - I still get some opportunities when I'm out, but my confidence and insecurity is so high right now that I rarely make the effort. Pretty sure it's also preventing me from seeing the times when they are interested.

My mother's dad had good hair before he died in his 80's. His son is in his 60's and still has hair like Fred Flintstone. My father's dad's hair thinning a bit, but was still decent for his age before he passed. My father's hair is screwed (Norwood 4a w/really diffused thinning in the back). I remember one time I tried to gauge how he felt - which he dismissed. But I know just by his behavior that it's part of the driving force behind his moody, angry, almost self-destructive behavior over the last 10-15 years. He was a favorite of the ladies in high school and in his early 20's. The pictures of him then vs. now is like night and day.

 

[Schitz Popinov]

Welcome friend. You've sank deep into the shadow realm of hair loss induced BDD. You're among fellows here, the few who dare to speak up.

You're rather mature but still too young to lose your hair. If you want to maintain (probability of regrowth is low given your age) you have to get on finadteride immediately. Be thankful you've been relatively lucky: people get to NW3 diffuse at 21.

I assure you this sh*t won't go away. If you don't fight, you'll accept the loss after years of grieving and you'll lose a part of your identity, with all the due consequences, for example you'll never be as confident as you were. Women won't look at you a certain way and men will treat you differently.

If you choose to fight, know you're fighting a losing battle. Hair loss is still more powerful than treatments. This means that ideally you'll never stop fighting. Yet, you have finasteride and FUE hair transplants which are achieving higher quality every year that passes. You can achieve some success and some peace of mind which you have clearly lost in its entirety.

My advice, as always, is to book the appointment with the dermatologist and ask about the treatment. in case of failure or weak success, there's the surgeon. It's uphill and taxing both to fight and not to fight.

You choose. You'll always be welcome on impact when you want to vent. That's what I do and people here are good.

Thank you for the kind words.

It's crazy to think how long this has been going on. I noticed as early as 2011 and yet still I never went to go see anyone. I swore I would do the research and eventually make a decision - but it's become paralysis by over-analysis topped with insecurity. I've done some premature scouting of pricing for FUE over the internet.

I will say that luckily for me I have extremely thick hair in the back and higher up on the sides. In high school and college I used to get teased sometimes because it kind of looked like a mushroom from the thickness when I had my hair longer. The primary concern for going thru with FUE is the Finasteride requirement. My testosterone (serum level) has been towards the bottom of the range all throughout my 30's and I'm concerned that will worsen on finasteride.

 

[kj6723]

My testosterone (serum level) has been towards the bottom of the range all throughout my 30's and I'm concerned that will worsen on finasteride

Finasteride should increase your testosterone a bit rather than lower it

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14624915

Just the other day we had a dude on here claiming a steroid like impact from taking dutasteride!

For real though, your test levels should bump up

 

[Schitz Popinov]

Finasteride should increase your testosterone a bit rather than lower it

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14624915

Just the other day we had a dude on here claiming a steroid like impact from taking dutasteride!

For real though, your test levels should bump up

I agree man - they need a big time bump. Those ranges are garbage anyways because they factor in a wide age group. All throughout my 30's I've had the T level of a 55-60 year old man. Scary thing is if I never worked out, which I'm sure is keeping it from falling completely out of range.

 

[kj6723]

I agree man - they need a big time bump. Those ranges are garbage anyways because they factor in a wide age group. All throughout my 30's I've had the T level of a 55-60 year old man. Scary thing is if I never worked out, which I'm sure is keeping it from falling completely out of range.

Time to get on finasteride then

more hair and more test, win/win situation

 

[Exodus2011]

Welcome friend. You've sank deep into the shadow realm of hair loss induced BDD. You're among fellows here, the few who dare to speak up.

You're rather mature but still too young to lose your hair. If you want to maintain (probability of regrowth is low given your age) you have to get on finadteride immediately. Be thankful you've been relatively lucky: people get to NW3 diffuse at 21.

I assure you this sh*t won't go away. If you don't fight, you'll accept the loss after years of grieving and you'll lose a part of your identity, with all the due consequences, for example you'll never be as confident as you were. Women won't look at you a certain way and men will treat you differently.

If you choose to fight, know you're fighting a losing battle. Hair loss is still more powerful than treatments. This means that ideally you'll never stop fighting. Yet, you have finasteride and FUE hair transplants which are achieving higher quality every year that passes. You can achieve some success and some peace of mind which you have clearly lost in its entirety.

My advice, as always, is to book the appointment with the dermatologist and ask about the treatment. in case of failure or weak success, there's the surgeon. It's uphill and taxing both to fight and not to fight.

You choose. You'll always be welcome on impact when you want to vent. That's what I do and people here are good.

Don't forget I was Norwood 6 at 21

 

[blackg]

Why have you been without wheels for so long, Pop?

Also, have you pretty much thrown in the towel at this point as far as chicks are concerned?

And this is even more fun ... my old man is in his 60s and has fuller hair than me.

Got the genetic cheap-shot from my mom's old man.

Good thing the guy's dead or I might be serving a life sentence for homicide ... lol.

I know what you're going through, son.
It blows major *** when your very own NW1 father reminds you that you are balding.

 

[Bobster231]

I know what you're going through, son.
It blows major *** when your very own NW1 father reminds you that you are balding.

Were your grandpas bald?

 

[rclark]

Did you ever consider that some people look ridiculous with a shaved head?

Wait - it's clear you didn't. Go take your act somewhere else man. If it was that simple I would've shaved it 10 years ago.

Your right. I look terrible with a buzz cut, even with a #4. I can't go lower than a six or
eight.

And I've just grown my Norwood three hair out.

 

[blackg]

Were your grandpas bald?

Yes, the one on my mamma's side.
And that bastard passed it on to my ***... my two older brothers got a free pass!

God bless mother nature.

 

[Bobster231]

It might hit your older brothers still. They aren't safe.

 

[Jimbo5]

Where are you at in the norwood scale right now?

The hairline is still pretty straight and intact, just that fuckin' diffuse thinning on pretty much the entire top of the head...

 

[Jimbo5]

I know what you're going through, son.
It blows major *** when your very own NW1 father reminds you that you are balding.

Thing is, black, I'm vastly superior to the old man (and one of my younger bros who has little hair loss) in basically every other way.

He never had anywhere near my net worth or physique at any point in his life. The old man is no dummy, but my IQ is likely at least 10 or 15 points higher. Same with my bro.

But they got better hair genes...

 

[rclark]

Thing is, black, I'm vastly superior to the old man (and one of my younger bros who has little hair loss) in basically every other way.

He never had anywhere near my net worth or physique at any point in his life. The old man is no dummy, but my IQ is likely at least 10 or 15 points higher. Same with my bro.

But they got better hair genes...

Brains will probably take you farther though, in the longer picture.

That and if you have a muscular build, it will probably help you with women.

 

[Schitz Popinov]

It's just crazy to me that the very thing which gave me the ability to break out of my introverted shell would eventually be the thing to threaten to put me back in it.

Even when everything else wasn't going right in life - I always had my hair style to fall back on and make me feel good about myself. I know that might sound stupid to some, but my identity slowly became built around it.

 

[blackg]

It's just crazy to me that the very thing which gave me the ability to break out of my introverted shell would eventually be the thing to threaten to put me back in it.

Even when everything else wasn't going right in life - I always had my hair style to fall back on and make me feel good about myself. I know that might sound stupid to some, but my identity slowly became built around it.

This doesn't sound stupid at all. I can relate.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

This doesn't sound stupid at all. I can relate.

You're in your thirties, aren't you?

Have you avoided the whole marriage and kids?

 

[Schitz Popinov]

You're in your thirties, aren't you?

Have you avoided the whole marriage and kids?

Single and no kids.

So I won't have the benefit of a wife who has already been thru the thick and thin with me.

 

[Bklyn_23]

To the guy who said he takes 1.5 hours to style his hair in a manner which will allow him to go out in public with some confidence, I feel you. Believe it or not, my process takes 3 hours (it can be trimmed to 1.75-2.0 hours in a pinch).

You can't imagine the damper this puts on my enthusiasm to go out in public, and on my spontaneity. It's crippling. The mental energy it takes to keep this up is enormous. Fortunately I only have to fix my hair up 2-4 times per week - the other days I'm a hat prisoner.