Tinder experience

[Rudiger]

Ahh this thought of it being a joke crossed my mind just before I submitted it, because I re-read the "all your problems will fade away" part and realised there's probably sarcasm there. But then I just thought **** it reply anyway.

And yes haha "hit the gym and get jacked!" is just a hilarious notion, for anyone who's spent at least say several hours a week at the gym, for months, it takes even more than that to get anywhere in terms of being "huge". Even with roids (though I have no experience of them). I know guys who've spent years at the gym, some do personal training or whatever, over a dozen hours a week of mainly intense work-out, and while they have good definition and tone they'll just never be "huge" like a wrestler or anything.

 

[I.D WALKER]

On the other hand (haha), we've also seen the guys who've hit the bottle, got angry, then soon after got jacked.
Or maybe the more luckier guys who've gotten jack to show (for their self(over)medication bender) except for maybe a maxed out personal budget and nasty hangover.
Hopefully hair loss or other problems never causes you/anyone to subscribe to the latter lifestyle either.
The healthier gym alternative starts to make a little better sense now.

 

[Exodus2011]

I do agree with you there. That being said I am one of those people who tell guys to go to the gym though. The way I look at it, no it will not fix your hair loss, but it's not meant to. If you've tried to treat your hair loss and failed, you have to start considering other factors you can control, like your physique. That is, assuming the goal is to improve your attractiveness anyway.

This is what most men seem to think you have to strive for with body building:

View attachment 35796

But that's just not realistic. That guy is probably roided out on top of working at it like it's a full time job. It's not attainable for most people, and frankly most women don't want someone that big anyway. It's intimidating, not sexy. There is a healthy "in between", such as this:

View attachment 35797

That is the body women want. Fit and healthy, not bulging and intimidating. And that body is not unrealistic for 99% of guys if they have the time and the drive to accomplish it. I should know, I used to have a body just like it. No it wasn't easy, I had to work at it... but I certainly wasn't killing myself in the gym every waking moment of every day to get there. And the reason I think "hit the gym" is good advice is because in my experience, it works! I went from being known as the scrawny emo kid with nice hair that no girl over 14 really wanted anything to do with to a fat/pudgy NW4 at 19 year old that literally no one my age was attracted to. I said "**** that", hit the gym, and got a body like the guy in the second pic and all of a sudden the same girls who used to write me off as a fat baldy wanted my D. Would it have been even better if I had still had my hair AND that body? Hell yes. A lot better. But having that body and just generally knowing how to be confident and talk to girls was enough for me and I think that would hold true for most guys, barring some sort of physical deformity.

these were college age girls who were interested when you were ripped and norwood 4? were u really norwood 4?

i dont see college age girls (or tbh any) girls going out of their way to be attracted to a baldie. like as in mentioning they're hot when NOT being asked about bald guys

 

[TransientHair]

That is the body women want. Fit and healthy, not bulging and intimidating. And that body is not unrealistic for 99% of guys if they have the time and the drive to accomplish it. I should know, I used to have a body just like it. No it wasn't easy, I had to work at it... but I certainly wasn't killing myself in the gym every waking moment of every day to get there. And the reason I think "hit the gym" is good advice is because in my experience, it works! I went from being known as the scrawny emo kid with nice hair that no girl over 14 really wanted anything to do with to a fat/pudgy NW4 at 19 year old that literally no one my age was attracted to. I said "**** that", hit the gym, and got a body like the guy in the second pic and all of a sudden the same girls who used to write me off as a fat baldy wanted my D. Would it have been even better if I had still had my hair AND that body? Hell yes. A lot better. But having that body and just generally knowing how to be confident and talk to girls was enough for me and I think that would hold true for most guys, barring some sort of physical deformity.

Some guys don't have the bone structure to get a body like that. I do agree with your sentiment though, better to be bald and fit than bald and fat.

 

[recedingyt]

these were college age girls who were interested when you were ripped and norwood 4? were u really norwood 4?

i dont see college age girls (or tbh any) girls going out of their way to be attracted to a baldie. like as in mentioning they're hot when NOT being asked about bald guys

Yes, they were my age or +/- a year or two at the most (I was 19). And yes I was NW4 at this time, and shaving my head with a razor. I was blessed with a decent facial structure, decent height, a good hearted/likable/confident personality, and the willpower to drastically alter my appearance without a great deal of suffering on my part (I wouldn't be going through the transition that I am if I didn't have that last bit). No facial hair though, which ironically turned out to be a good thing for me.

But all of these things together, combined with being known as someone with a history of successful/loving relationships made it very easy to pick up girls if I wanted to (I didn't since I was in a LTR though). As the years went by my drive to workout lessened since it didn't make my gender dysphoria go away like I'd hoped it would and I became fat again. That is when attention from the ladies dropped off again.

Most people's view of bald men is severely impacted by the way media portrays them, which as you probably know, is terrible. So no, you're not going to get a girl randomly saying "bald men are hot!" because the idea of bald men is most definitely not something most of them are interested in. But I wasn't like those guys, so girls still found me hot. That is what I'm trying to tell you guys. If you do what you can to improve your appearance in other ways you CAN control, like your physique, it WILL improve your chances of attracting someone. It won't guarantee it, but neither will having a full head of hair.

Just don't accept defeat so easily, better yourself.

 

[donyell]

Listen there is nothing wrong with being bald

It just means that you don't exist to woman and therefore they should no longer exist to you

There's a lot more to life than woman bro's....For example, combing your nw1 hairli.....oh wait.....



rekt lel

 

[shookwun]

you wud lie about it for street cred, to brag. but you make a good point. if you aren't attracted to girls then you wudnt care about their approval. but still guys wud give you props, and it could be for that reason

and well thats interesting about connecting with girls. i wish i could do that

i'm young and bald and am very anxious around girls so i don't really like being around them. no point if none of them find me attractive. not to mention girls in general have worse personalities than guys

probably because they dont need to work on their personality to attract girls like we do

Street cred? Lol

Women don't have personalities?

How would you know if you never interact with them to begin with. Women are like men, and on most cases act receptive to people they are actually interested in. The more attracted the more thought engaging nd interesting conervsations become.

Who the **** brags about getting women? Why would receding lie about experiences to a bunch random forum goers. It proves nothing and I believe what he says

 

[DoctorHouse]

Street cred? Lol

Women don't have personalities?

How would you know if you never interact with them to begin with. Women are like men, and on most cases act receptive to people they are actually interested in. The more attracted the more thought engaging nd interesting conervsations become.

Who the **** brags about getting women? Why would receding lie about experiences to a bunch random forum goers. It proves nothing and I believe what he says

I think if you are engaging, charming, nice, receptive, complementary, and funny most women who are not shallow will find you "attractive" in way that they might reciprocate and show the same to you. If you don't believe me try it. To me, if a woman is not engaging and cannot hold any interesting conversation, she is boring. I like to be stimulated mentally and physically.

And if you are tall and handsome with a full head of hair but shy and quiet( mostly due to low self esteem), many women will think you are stuck up and conceited and will not think you are approachable. I was told that many times and because of it I missed out on alot of opportunities. So my point is, personality has alot to do with success. And looking back, I never remember hearing some girl remark how they would not date a guy who was losing his hair but I am not saying it never did happen. I remember mostly comments more about too short, too creepy, too nerdy, too fat, too skinny, or too ugly.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Exodus, although you have not had any experiences being either mentally or physically intimate with a woman, you seem to have grasp for some of them but your job is to find the exceptions and they do exist. I think someone like Joan might be the exception from what I see on here. I think its in their nature to long for a long term relationship in order to reproduce. For men, we are more independent and don't have to rely on long term relationships because back in the caveman day, we hunted on our own for long periods of time. Once you give women a child, they have something to distract them while you are off doing something without them. However, they will rely on your for food and survival if they cannot do it on their own. Now a days, women are more independent and they don't need men to survive even if they have children. So that is what wrong with evolution. And why there is so much drama. The happy traditional family is no longer common thanks to either divorce or having children out of wedlock. The family structure has evolved into a whole new level where everyone is out for themselves. Its what can you do for me instead of what can I do for you. I think engaging people are usually highly educated so that is the key when looking for a significant other. If you base attraction only on looks you might be very disappointed if this person is not at the same level as you intellectually. I was once rejected by a girl because I was not worldly. She said I was attractive but because I was not worldly, I was not a match. Ironically, I was on a dating site years later and she must have forgotten me and contacted me again not remembering we dated one time in the past.

Exodus, you have demonstrated you have the ability to carry on a very intellectual conversation as long as you don't digress into your Afro-American version slang. I think you underestimate your ability potential to have great conversation with women. I think that is what will help you the most. Strike up an interesting and intelligent conversation with an attractive women and I think you will do just fine.

 

[Exodus2011]

deleted the posts guys. i put my foot in my mouth and need to stop making emotionally fuelled posts. yes ofc recedingyt, its ridiculous to say art is objective. it was off topic anyways lol.

but i still feel you owe me an apology shookwun, for calling me a loser and saying i had no hobbies and was uninteresting. that stuff hurt my feelings man

i cant deny i have done some intense self loathing on here and called myself loser, but i'm gonna stop that. its just this is the main place i vent so ofc those kinds of thoughts come out more here.

i like what uncomfortable man said, this place is sort of an emotional toilet. flush the mental bull**** lol, its nice to vent here but its easy to take it too far and just whine about everything :/

 

[recedingyt]

Fair enough, like I said I hold no hard feelings towards you for something like that. I make emotional posts sometimes too. It happens, that's what this forum is for tbh.

Don't feel bad because it was mature of you to recognize that you were being emotional

 

[Exodus2011]

Fair enough, like I said I hold no hard feelings towards you for something like that. I make emotional posts sometimes too. It happens, that's what this forum is for tbh.

Don't feel bad because it was mature of you to recognize that you were being emotional

hella yea i been watching dat star wars lately. i asked myself "what would obi-wan do?"

i had to realize when my judgment was clouded

 

[DoctorHouse]

deleted the posts guys. i put my foot in my mouth and need to stop making emotionally fuelled posts. yes ofc recedingyt, its ridiculous to say art is objective. it was off topic anyways lol.

but i still feel you owe me an apology shookwun, for calling me a loser and saying i had no hobbies and was uninteresting. that stuff hurt my feelings man
I
i cant deny i have done some intense self loathing on here and called myself loser, but i'm gonna stop that. its just this is the main place i vent so ofc those kinds of thoughts come out more here.

i like what uncomfortable man said, this place is sort of an emotional toilet. flush the mental bull**** lol, its nice to vent here but its easy to take it too far and just whine about everything :/

I can tell you have been doing some self help and its paying off. Good for you.

 

[CaptainForehead]

deleted the posts guys. i put my foot in my mouth and need to stop making emotionally fuelled posts. /

Exodus is growing up.

Soon he will leave this forum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KcRl1p2waM

 

[EvilLocks]

Exodus, you have demonstrated you have the ability to carry on a very intellectual conversation as long as you don't digress into your Afro-American version slang.

LOL, right on! Exodus, that is a very good advice. Take it to heart.

 

[Exodus2011]

I can tell you have been doing some self help and its paying off. Good for you.

Well im not a fan of self help but i have been helping myself lol

And lets not get carried away here captain xD. HairLossTalk.com is the only place i can find norwoods to vent to aka guys i can RELATE to

If i had a real life version i wud prolly leave here tho

- - - Updated - - -

LOL, right on! Exodus, that is a very good advice. Take it to heart.

The "afro american" slang is trolling lol

 

[cantara]

A bit late to the party, but this never grows old I guess.
First off, it's kind of disturbing and refreshing at the same time how many aspects of life I've come to realize over the last years are shared and spoken out here. And when it comes to facing the mechanisms of intersexual relationships, Tinder is soo insightful. No friends (females or males), relatives, let alone internet comments are nearly as conclusive in showing you where you stand with the opposite sex than Tinder.
However, while it's nothing new that the top guys have it just as easy as the hot girls, what really frustrates me is that guys who I'd rated in my bracket or maybe slightly above cannot the girls there I would like, but they still attract considerably more interest. I cannot help but think that this gap is mainly or even solely down to my baldness. In fact, I was texting with a girl of my taste (7.5) that is also consideraly younger than me. As she was only able to see my instagram profile picture with a hat on, she was not aware of my state of hair from the beginning (which is something I avoid on Tinder). I could tell she really liked out interaction and as it was clearly going into the direction of a date, I changed my profile pic. Of course, I was ghosted. I confronted her nicely, wishing her all the best and regretting I was not her type. She replied by saying that she really found me nice, but "I need hair, sorry". I found it refreshingly fair and wished her all the best.
Now here's the thing: I am not too happy about my appearance, but whilst I know hair would not hurt me, I do not think it would significantly upgrade me, certainly not in my eyes. However, I have come to find out that more often than not Average Joe with decent eyes, smile, teeth and very good style (which is something I started developing early on, never because I thought it'd win me points with girls), i.e. me, still loses out to Average Joe with plain face/eyes, maybe even bad teeth, no fashion sense but enough hair. Hence, if results convinced me (I'd compare myself to Wayne Rooney with regard to his pre-hair transplant-state), I'd consider actions despite not thinking I'd find myself considerably more attractive.

Second: the Instagram-epidosode is one of countless examples why I agree with the users making fun of the value of things like "confidence". I am self-aware enough to see how much I bring to the table: Wits, good conversation (lighthearted-superficial topics just as much as more profound ones), good job/prestige, manners and whatnot. Elements that are said to be decisive in winning women over. They don't, they just make for excellent company. Now I cannot blame women for that, as those elements don't do it for me the other way around, but what I am sick of is all the people telling me why those things count. They don't hurt, sure, but it's worth nothing compared to being a 7+, nothing!

I also got myself Tinder Gold where I can see who likes me, as I never get any matches: Single mothers (2-3, heavier than me) who want "a down to earth guy". Lol. They are just the only ones who cannot afford the superficiality that even averages girls get away with. Doesn't prevent them from hypergaming though, since I'd still consider myself a 5 with a - apart from my looks - pretty privileged place in life...

But even them I cannot blame, as I want the same: a 7+ girl. I truly wonder if couples (and there are many and always be many, necessarily) have a different perception of dating life or if they are just happy to settle. What I can say though: men have lower standards than women, they are more generous. Now, I am (i) 30+ and average, (ii) a man (and therefore exposed to the lack of generosity in terms of looks by women), (iii) and I have the standards of a woman. I am doomed.

 

[MorningGlory]

Tinder is an ego contest, nothing more. Just go out and speak to women. Start by saying hello.

 

[MorningGlory]

Single mothers (2-3, heavier than me) who want "a down to earth guy"

“Full time mummy” looking for a cuck to raise help raise her kids from a previous failed relationship.

 

[cantara]

Tinder is an ego contest, nothing more. Just go out and speak to women. Start by saying hello.

What can I say, something inside me still likes and wants to read somewhat encouraging posts like yours.
However, Tinder to me underlines why getting along with girls I found attractive has never led to anything, even when I had a connection. This is what frustrates me, the connection does not help romantically, only socially, if you don't meet the looks threshold.
What adds to the frustration: I've encountered overweight, socially awkward guys with horrible style, the latest coming to my mind bald in addition to it all - the only thing what separates me (a 5) from them (1-3) are the single mothers who want to game up and the fine girls who would not even want their company. I sometimes feel "used" for offering elements many good looking guys never had and never needed to develop and they still win when it counts. On the other hand, the resignation I've noticed about the "ugly guys" is not something I' want to put up with. Not that it matters much with (attractive) girls, but I owe that to myself and my social environment, especially the men in it.