Why shouldn't I...

[uncomfortable man]

There is this sentiment that If you are loosing your hair beyond a certain point that you should just shave it all off and get on with your life. Well, I have tried that and I still get sh*t on for it so why shouldn't I wear a hat whenever I am out in public? There is this unspoken policy of honesty when it comes to hairloss that urges you to be open and upfront about your situation, but when I am honest about it I still get the bad looks, whispers and rude comments so I have come to the conclusion that honesty is not the best policy. Why should I be obligated to expose my glaring flaw for everyone to criticize? Why should I be expected to subject myself to that kind of ridicule? Sure, if I wear a hat all the time it will seem suspicious and people will eventually assume that I am bald anyway, right? Yes, but at least they don't have to SEE it. What about people coming to the conclusion that I am insecure about being bald? I AM INSECURE ABOUT BEING BALD! Take a look around, CAN YOU BLAME ME? I just want to be normal. I just want to fit in. Being bald makes that impossible for me so I wear a hat and avoid the social tension. If it makes me feel better, more secure then why shouldn't I?

 

[Avery]

I think I'm in the minority here, but I don't think many white guys look good with a shaved head. To me, a tight buzz says "I know I'm losing my hair, so I got rid of most of it for my convienence." Whereas a shave is a "style."

In any case, insecurity is wildly considered less attractive in a man than hair loss.

 

[fromchicago]

you can do whatever you want. really.

 

[treeshrew]

I went through a brief period of hat wearing, and while I think it's a life saver in some situations where you just don't feel like dealing with it, overall I think it was bad to wear all the time.

One particularly bad moment was standing around in a kitchen during a house party, and this one girl, drunk, kept screaming "everyone take off their hats!" Of course, I was the only one in the room a hat on. I had it tilted such that you could pretty much see everything, and her friend was like "you cansee his head anyway!". I know the first girls brother was bald at a young age, so I'm sure she picked up on it, and was just being an annoying b**ch.

But its situations like that where I'd rather just show the baldness then play the whole is he/isn't he bald game and dealing with embarassing/annoying situations like that.

my 2 cents

 

[Petchsky]

There is nothing wrong with covering your head, but in my mind you have to accept your hairloss to the point where someone can mention it or crack a joke and you feel no embarrassment. Not easy, but plenty of people manage it after a few years, though no one like being bald imo

 

[uncomfortable man]

I had a very similar experience when I was at a bar in Hollister at a bikers convention and this loud obnoxiousbitch just pulls my hat off as the large party I was with was sitting around this table. Boy, let me tell you that ruined my night....and next couple of days. I'm sure she thought I was good looking, but wanted to see if I had a full head of hair, but imo she could have been more F-ing discreet about it! That was an embarassing situation that was forced on me and seriously just came out of nowhere. It's not that I wear a hat all the time, but when I am too lazy to shave it then I will wear a hat because bald men aren't supposed to grow out there hair. It is seen as being in denial or something. But then I get trapped into having to wear a hat whenever I go out until I shave it again. I've been out plenty of times without a hat after I shave it (which would have to be once a week) but I always notice that people treat me differently when I do. :dunno:

 

[s.a.f]

People dont want to see your bald head and yet they also dont want you to cover it up with a hat or wig. :dunno: :thumbdown2:

 

[Petchsky]

People dont want to see your bald head and yet they also dont want you to cover it up with a hat or wig. :dunno: :thumbdown2:

By that, do you mean men, or women, or both?

Before my hairloss, and even now, i don't care if someone is bald or treat them differently, never have. I don't want to see a really fat women showing her belly off over her top, but i don't feel people think that way about bald haeds.

 

[mj9]

Come on u-man, I think you are taking this too seriously... Being bald does suck but don't let it effect you that much... I feel your pain but you just gotta move on. I buzzed my hair when i was balding and it was such a relief (even though I didn't suit it) but it was better than that damn thinning hair look.... Man if people are not allowing you to fit in because of your hairloss, then they are not worth hanging around with.

Also, if girls don't wanna be with you because of your hair loss, then f*** them. I met my fiancee when I was starting to bald and had buzzed my hair down. She never ever had a problem with it. Infact she tried to stop me from going on the meds due to side effects even though she knew it could bring my hair back but she was more concerned with my health than my hair.

Trust me, there are people out there who don't really care about hair loss and wont judge you. Those are the people that you should want to be friends with......

 

[AcceptingIt]

Hi,
Long time lurker who has to chime in this “hat†thing.

First, I don’t get what the big deal is about a hat. Since my youth I have ALWAYS worn a ballcap. ALWAYS. It’s been part of my look for the decades when I did not even have a hair problem. In fact, those who know me would find it strange that I go out in public without one. Now that I am experiencing hair thinning I almost feel self conscious about sporting it because of this attitude among balding men that a hat is a bad thing.

Why?

Hats anymore are worn by a huge percentage of guys. It’s a part of one’s outfit. I wear a hat indoors, big deal! Hell, if there wasn’t some stupid tradition about “head coverings being bad,†I’d wear one to work! Hats are so damn common anymore that guys with thick heads of hair wear them everyday. I did and so did the majority of my friends! It was a hell of a lot easier than styling my hair every time I went out. As the years pass and my hair gets thinner my hat isn’t going anywhere, opinion of the public be damned.

 

[Cassin]

The hat is nothing more than a modern toupee for young guys.

 

[s.a.f]

Spot on Cassin,
I never even owned one before hairloss, and the only people I know who occasionaly wear hats are young guys in their teens. To me wearing a hat indoors is the same as wearing a coat indoors or gloves - why would you?
Unless you are a 50 cent wannabe?

I think that hats look stupid on anyone over the age of 30 unless of course there is genuine reason to be wearing one ie - you're outdoors for a long period of time in the blazing sun or on a very cold or rainy day.
Maybe its different if you live in California but here I dont even see people wearing hats when its raining.

As for hats being part of an outfit like I said maybe for a wannabe rapper but to me every time I'm going out I look in the mirror and it all looks fine then I put on my cap and it ruins everything.
Hats go with sportwear and thats about it, you cant dress up smart or stylish and then put a cap or beanie ontop it just does'nt work.

The thing is we are a minority the majority already have a head covering to protect them from the elements its called hair.

 

[uncomfortable man]

That is all well and good, but considering that I am only two turds away from getting a hair system a hat doesn't seem that far of a stretch for me. Like accepting said, I see tons of guys wearing hats and not just gangsters (how about sports enthusiasts?). I see young guys at school that wear a beanie on a hot day, so why shouldn't I. The only difference is that they wear it as part of their look whereas I depend on it to keep from destroying my looks and it helps me fit in, but they don't need to know that. I realize that there are occasions that are inappropriate for wearing hats so I don't. But generally, I will wear a hat if it will make me feel more comfortable and less self concious. Just put on a hat and get through it.

 

[AcceptingIt]

I find it funny that you equate wearing a hat to being, as you said, “50 cent.â€

Well, I assure you that I am not 50 cent or resemble anything remotely close to “hip hop.†Nor am I a “wanna be†rapper. I think you made a very invalid generalization. I realize everyone walks a different path in life but I assure you in my neck of the woods wearing a hat is a normal, every day occurrence for hairy and non hairy men alike. My viewpoint is that the only people who have issues wearing them are balding men or people who are living with old fashioned, out of date values such as “take your hat off indoors.†Once someone said it was disrespectful. To this date I am still trying to figure out how showing the top of your head equates to respect.

Anyway, as I said, I’ve worn a ball cap for years and I’m sorry if people think it looks “stupid.†Sometimes I believe the people who freak out the most about their hair loss are those who judge other’s appearance because now they are worried they are going to be judged negatively themselves.

The only comment I will agree with is that if you are trying to dress up a hat will not fit with your outfit. There are some upscale hats that can do so, if one wishes to go that route. Outside of work I am a t-shirt and jeans guy so this really doesn’t affect me.

Bottom line, Uncomfortable Man, wear a hat if it makes you feel better. You’ll fit in, because as I said, many men wear hats. Young and old. Hair or bald.

 

[Townsend]

I used to wear a hat non-stop. A couple years ago I sat down for an exam (no hats allowed) and ended up sitting next to a classmate that I had sat next to all semester. This is someone who I had talked to and did classwork with nearly everyday and he didn't recognize me because I wasn't wearing a hat.

That was truly a wake up call. Not only was I not being true to myself but I wasn't being true to my friends/classmates/colleagues by obscuring myself. I was selling myself short by perpetuating this downward spiral of confidence. I guess I was fortunate enough to one day wake up and decide I had enough of it. Of course just ditching the hat is not that easy when you're psychologically dependent on it. A hat, although a solution, doesn't actually fix the problem long term. Self reflection is the key... who is the real you? Certainly not just some guy in a hat. Unfortunately that's what people see you as if you let the hat become part of who you are. Its blatantly obvious who is wearing a hat because they simply feel like it and who is wearing a hat because they can't live without it. For example, it could be the way you subconsciously don't allow people to get near you in fear the hat may come off, it reeks of a lack of confidence, and it shows whether you perceive it or not.

Its all in your head...right?

 

[s.a.f]

I find it funny that you equate wearing a hat to being, as you said, “50 cent.â€

Well, I assure you that I am not 50 cent or resemble anything remotely close to “hip hop.†Nor am I a “wanna be†rapper. I think you made a very invalid generalization.

Well the only people who I see wearing hats all the time are rappers on tv.

I realize everyone walks a different path in life but I assure you in my neck of the woods wearing a hat is a normal, every day occurrence for hairy and non hairy men alike.

Where abouts do you live, somewhere very hot or cold? Because I can go outside in England and I assure you that 99% of people will not be wearing anything on their heads maybe a few teenage hoodies will be wearing bball caps but thats all.

My viewpoint is that the only people who have issues wearing them are balding men or people who are living with old fashioned, out of date values such as “take your hat off indoors.†Once someone said it was disrespectful. To this date I am still trying to figure out how showing the top of your head equates to respect.

A hat is not a standard everyday item of clothing, its there to sheild you from the elements that was where wearing hats originated from. Just like a pair of gloves, boots or an overcoat.
Please tell me exactly what is the point of wearing a hat indoors? You would'nt get out of bed and think I'd better put my hat on now.
And as Townsend said wearing a hat was obscuring himself from others, its the same way as its respectful to remove your sunglasses when talking to someone.

Anyway, as I said, I’ve worn a ball cap for years and I’m sorry if people think it looks “stupid.†Sometimes I believe the people who freak out the most about their hair loss are those who judge other’s appearance because now they are worried they are going to be judged negatively themselves.

[/quote]

Yep, I agree but it does happen.

 

[Obsidian]

The thing is with a wig/system is how do you go about meeting up with someone who has known you have been loosing it except to tell them?

 

[AcceptingIt]

s.a.f.

I first started wearing a ball cap back in high school because it was the “in†thing to do. After a while I guess it started to become a convenience for me because I never had to style my frizzy hair all the time. You see, half my hair lays flat while the other seems to stick up making my hair look like a pin cushion. I have not been blessed with great hair, so that is probably going to help me get over balding anyway. Besides the convenience issue, I like the way hats look on me and still do. I like how I can match outfits with them and display whatever logo I wish. I have a massive collection of them.

It would seem that in where you live the only people you see wearing ball caps are “rappers†or “hoodies†as you call them. Over here in the states, yes, many in the “street†culture wear hats, but so do normal every day people as well.

Finally, I think nothing of wearing a hat indoors. To me, my hat is part of my outfit. Yes, hats were created to protect one’s head from the outdoor elements but they have evolved to the point where it is now a fashion accessory. Hell, we have stores here that sell nothing but baseball caps. I think saying a hat can be disrespectful is complete rubbish. It is the top of your head, honestly, who cares? To be frank, I could careless what another balding man does to make him happy. If he wants to wear a hair piece, go for it. If he wants to wear a ball cap, that’s great. Unfortunately, my hair loss problem now causes me to worry that other balding men (the jerk kind) may think I am trying to hide my problem. While yes, my hat does conveniently cover up my thinning hair, what these people fail to realize I have worn for years because it simply is my style.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Yes, over here in California we do not follow such strict rules of ettiquite as you do over in England. Is it still customary to throw your coat down over a puddle for a lady over there? But seriously, everyone wears hats over here and it's no big deal. I live in a pretty liberal place S.A.F.. I've seen topless women walking around out in public. Sometimes a whole gang of them. They are pretty butchy bull dyked out but sometimes you get lucky.
:tongue:

 

[s.a.f]

I'm not saying you should'nt hide it under a hat (I do under the right circumstances) I'm just saying its a poor solution. Although it works for hiding your hairloss to most others, to those who are everyday aquaintancies it screams of a lack of self confidence about your hairloss.