I hope UM is ok with me quoting an edit he made to one of his posts. I have something to get off my chest.
uncomfortable man said:
Dudemon wrote
Why do guys try to equate a woman's bust size with a man's hairline? They are like apples and oranges, IMO.
I actually get by on that "assumption" whenever I wear a hat. I've had women who have been interested in me ask,"What do you look like under there?" As soon as they see it, they loose all interest in me like dropping a brick. If they would have seen me like that from day one, then it would have never gotten to the point where she went out of her way to approach me in the first place. See? Loose loose situation defined.
Man, every time I read something like this I'm on the verge of breaking down. It is sad, and I can't say my situation is much different, not in the sense that I have lost a lot of hair, but from many past experiences I'm not found attractive by women.
Ian Curtis said:
Yeah, that was a lol. Tis very sad for us to lose our hair, but get to the point of shuting yourself from everything else...
It makes us feel more comfortable in the long run. Lack of confidence leads to the desire of being isolated and letting the world go on while you're "out of it". That is the reason for suicide attempts. If the right conditions are met someone will attempt it, but I hope no one here has reached that level of depression. In fact it sounds silly just bringing that up because I'm discussing hair loss, but people are affected in different ways and to different levels.
uncomfortable man said:
As far as the whole preference thing goes, I think it is an excuse to veil their own prejudice against bald men. Sorry, but how easy is it for a woman to give that vague rejection, "you're not my type"? Well then what is your type? Tall dark and handsome, like every other woman's fantasy? At that point I don't think it is a preference as much as it is social conditioning. Everyone is brain washed with that perfect image, be it man or woman that becomes the subconscious standard for beauty and object of desire. On the flip side of that we have all been brainwashed as to what is undesirable and what we should avoid. When any woman says, "I don't like _____ men." I think to myself, how many _____ men do you know? I see past the bullshit to the truth that she is making prejudiced generalizations. Why doesn't she say what she really means, "You are not good enough for me and my high standards." O.k. this is really bugging me so I need to get it all out. Let's just say for arguments sake that a burn victim asks an average girl out on a date and she says sorry, your not my type. She infers that it is just a matter of her preference, as innocent and emotionally neutral as choosing the color blue over purple and therefore giving no reason for offense by the rejection. NO, no it is not that innocent or neutral! How dare she imply that just because it is not her thing, that someone else will surely accept and love him when the chances are that every other woman thinks just like she does. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "I don't go for bald men myself, but I'm sure there must be someone out there that will like it." That's right, I must be someone else's problem. Just pass the buck. f*ck< f*ck<f*ck
This reflects an experience of mine I had last year, though I don't feel like going into details at the moment. You know, I really hate it when I can't determine whether a woman/girl is guilty or not in situations like these. I couldn't determine whether or not my previous gf (who even had the nerve to claim she wasn't my gf after she encountered another guy) was guilty for her actions or gave wicked excuses every time she made a mistake. Her excuses were bullshit, I can guarantee that. It's just that I can't determine her intentions so well because she seemed to have the mentality of a little girl despite being 17 and I think I was her first. As UM said however, women out there
do try to look innocent and it's pathetic. I guess it's people like us that have the eyes to see past the lies and know what their true colors are. My ex similarly tried to hide the fact she just found the other guy more attractive, regardless of whether or not she liked me. She did say she liked me a little, as opposed to how she liked the other guy so much (she said this directly) but, I guess God finally decided to take a sh1t on her on her prom night (Mr. Good Looking forgot or decided not to show up, whichever one happened). The funny part is I figured this out after one day when my mom randomly was on a bus the same time my ex was and had a talk with her. My mom revealed to me the conversation some time later. Good times.
ali777 said:
uncomfortable man said:
Dudemon wrote
Why do guys try to equate a woman's bust size with a man's hairline? They are like apples and oranges, IMO.
I agree with this. Unlike large breasts, everyone pretty much expects you to have a full head of hair. People don't look at a woman with small breasts and think, whats wrong with her? Small breasts aren't seen as a genetic flaw or associated with having a disease like bald men are seen having. Yet, women are getting breast enhancements/enlargements all the time. There are two young girls in my art class that have had breast surgeries. Do you think that statistic would hold for men who have had hair transplant's or are wearing a hair system? Probably not as the former is just more accepted by society. Hair is just assumed and therefore a prerequisite in the mind of MOST people (women and men) whereas having large breasts is considered more of a perk than a requirement.
Another complete BS from uncomfortable man.
No one views hairloss as a disease. And for your information many many men do make comments about girls with small breasts. I'm not a breast man, so I don't care about the size of the bust, but many men do.
Go to any bar in the world and listen to what men say about women with small breasts. If a woman with small breasts accidentally hears those comments, her self-esteem is going to drop like a stone.
Just like many women get breast implants, many men get hair transplants. Also, statistically there are more breast reduction operations done than breast enlargement operations. One of my ex gfs had a breast reduction operation for health reasons.
1. I swear to god within the past month I've read,
more that one article talking about androgenic alopecia as a
disease, so my *** dude. In fact any arrogant girl would find it to be a disease because "NOEZ, IM NOT HAVING SECKS WITH U BEKUZ YOUR BALD/BALDING!" How they don't view it as a disease then, or something similar to it, I can't fathom.
2. That can't be compared to just about any woman on the planet admitting to the fact that they would rather have their man with a full head of hair as opposed to being bald, because I bet there are some men out there who view big breasts to be undesirable. While that number of men could be extremely low, it just does not sum up to equal the number of women who would prefer men with good profiles. It just doesn't.
2. But looking at it from another perspective helps, because maybe women who get breast reductions view having big breasts (at least, the kind of breasts they have. Maybe they are a little saggy) as being a bit fat or overweight, and so unlike beauty models like Jessica Alba, and for HEALTH REASONS?! Dude, I'm sure there are men who are willing to throw their hair away to be healthier. I've witnessed it before. In fact that is why a lot of men are too b1tch to get on Propecia because of the "harmful" side effects.
ali777 said:
Vigaku said:
uncomfortable man said:
As unfortunate as it is, this is not new news. I think it is fairly representative of a bald man's chance at finding love, online or off. It is just so typical that a woman will say personality counts only after they have been wooed by the attraction. Completely conditional, they want to have their cake and eat it too.
Is it me, or is this guy right about everything he says?
Most of the time he is wrong. According to UM, baldness is the worst curse ever.
Maybe he never stated it as a fact. Look at my sig. It could be reflective on that.
ali777 said:
For example, in the quoted post he stresses that baldness is an obstacle in finding love. Yet there are millions of bald/ing men out there who find partners and love.
Maybe you didn't understand him as well as I did.
I don't see where he stated bald men will not find love. Of course they will. Such a thing is stupid to claim because if that were the case their would be little to no balding individuals left. That, or the genes for male pattern baldness would exist only in men who go bald way,
way after they have found love and had at least 3 kids. Say something like thinning at 40 and dying before reaching a normal or diffuse NW5. This is not the case because there are women out there (surprisingly) who stick with the balding guy they're with. I know a NW5 in his twenties who has a loving gf. I think he's just trying to say balding guys face a lot of bullshit and lies from women who know jack about male pattern baldness or do not have the guts to be with a man who's suffering from the condition. Come to think of it everytime I see a girl who I think is getting no c***, I look at her and smile. I feel sorry for her; that feeling actually attracts me to her. It may sound wierd coming from the guy but this is truth, though I'm not saying that has anything to do with your statement. I just like throwing stuff in sometimes.
ali777 said:
Vigaku said:
It's actually more depressing that anything I've read in the past couple of months. A woman, having fell in love with a man only to break up with him years later because he went bald. I mean honestly, it looked like the end of her post (the female giving the answer) was going to flow with the beginning of it. It went a completely different route. Guess some people were right about what this site's picture of the balding man and his girlfriend is supposed to represent...
It's also very interesting, because I don't think the girl's problem is that her boyfriend is bald. She obviously just doesn't find him attractive. I'm sure there's a bald guy out there she could handle, unless she's a total freak about it, unless hair is the #1 thing she's looking for in a boyfriend.
One last thing about that blog. "Bald men are less fertile?" Is this factual evidence or just some theoretical bs? I can see how more aged men are, but it's not like age has a connection with baldness. It's not like everyone starts thinning at 40 and go bald by 60. Some thin at 15 and become NW5-7 by 25. It's really sad.
This is complete BS. I agree with your assessment of the post here.
There must have been some cracks in that relationship. Her saying that she thinks her boyfriend will be ugly shows that her love is conditional. The same girl probably expects her bf's love towards her to be unconditional.
Relationships based on look do not last because
the looks don't last. In any relationship it's very important to have a solid foundation.
Yeah, the fertility thing is just out of line.
Not saying you're not aware of this yet, but the problem is not that we can't stay attractive forever (despite the fact there are men who stay attractive pretty much up until they die. 90% of the reason is they have hair). The problem is a lot of guys, specifically within their 20's, lose 60% of their overall attractiveness, JUST because they are losing hair. Compared to 98% of women who will not be half-bald or thinning considerably in their 20's. It just goes to show how women are so more easily picked up than guys are.
dudemon said:
My take is that women are conditioned to believe that they must be physically attracted to men as well as emotionally attracted. Most women want what all other women want - a good looking guy. This is not only to satify their own physical sexual needs, but also for "show" to their girlfriends - their competition.
They view having a handsome man as a "trophy" in front of their girlfriends - like they do a blouse or a dress or a pair of shoes. In other words, they want a guy that will make them look good in front of their friends and people in general. A bald guy rarely fills this role because he generally isn't going to be "impressive" enough in the looks category.
And if you think this only applies to "socialite" type women or superficial women - think again! Average, everyday ordinary women are like this just as much as extremely hot ones.
And as shallow as it sounds a lot of women view their man almost as an accessory the woman's appearance - like an article of clothing. They go out into public to be seen with their "man" just as they go out wearing a certain dress or outfit - to be "seen" in it.
If you don't believe this, then why do women have "dress" their man up, or dress him a certain way? Why is it so important for some women to play mommy and dress their man up before going out, or before an important engagement with her own parents?
After reading the first part, I came to realize the second was reflective on the first. This entire post is true, also. The fact of the matter is this - attractiveness is attractiveness, and people (men and women) desire it equally. It is just harder to be attractive as a man, but especially, a balding man (or a balding teen). I do believe there will be an eventual cure to this problem.
