Young Girl Mocks Uncle's Baldness - Reddit

[EvilLocks]

You don't know the sh*t I went through, so you are in no position to say I don't have enough life experience.

Lol, funny you should say that when this is exactly what you've been doing to me in our discussions. You don't know the sh-t I went through either, so how are you in a position to judge. Anyway, you said you didn't wanna discuss this further so I'll make no further comment. Just thought it was a bit ironic of you to say that when all you've done is judge me without knowing me.

 

[EvilLocks]

Do any of you who go to psychologists find it actually helps you? To me these things that depress me seem rational and it's the rest of the world that's insane.

I go to a psychologist and it does help a bit. But only if you find the right one. I've had a few different ones and they didn't help at all, just told me to "deal with it." But my current one is very nice, helpful and considerate. Of course she can't cure my problem(s), but she helps me deal with them better.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I've had farts that linger longer than 24 years - truth is you simply don't have enough life experience to say anything that actually matters, but if feeling sorry for yourself and constantly trying to monopolize every conversation in an attempt to feed off of complete strangers' sympathy keeps

Truth is... you sound like a fifty year old nw2.3.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I could say I hate all men too, because my ex-boyfriend dumped me because of hair loss. But I know this isn't true; I know good guys exist who don't care about that stuff. Just like I want Dante to know good women do exist.

I don't mean to be rude, but,

That story doesn't sound legit. It may be that your ex was deliberately trying to hurt you by saying that, or that he doesn't actually understand his own feelings and was just reaching for an explanation.

Even with the hair loss, you're presumbly still hot, based on what other people have said. Everybody has an imperfection, or three or five, and when a good relationship turns sour and one person brings up that imperfection it doesn't mean that the flaw was the problem in the first place. It's more a symptom than the disease.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

That comment was basically mocking Kevin. I don't get why women do this.

I think she was eyeing that man, but it's not happening since he has a better looking girlfriend.

She also randomly brought up in the middle of dinner conversation that there's a cure for baldness out there. I said "yeah, $10,000 on a hair transplant".

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I'm sorry. I know I philosophize about things way too much for my own good.

It's ok, we love you for that and other reasons too

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Do any of you who go to psychologists find it actually helps you? To me these things that depress me seem rational and it's the rest of the world that's insane.

I go to a psychologist and she's very perplexed by my case. She thinks I'm very desirable and suspects my problem or part of it is that I'm not socially aware enough to capitalize on the opportunities likely present in my life.

She's encouraged me to go see prostitutes as a means of becoming more comfortable in my own skin.

Says losing 50 lbs which I have done is great, but she's not sure that's the problem. Lots of men are fat disgusting slobs and their wives love them.

They have a triangle in psychology to describe relationships. Three sides. I think the sides are sex/affection, companionship, and communication.

She says I have good friends all over the world, good friendship skills, but I'm not able to convert that to relationships, I likely become a different person when I'm with a woman I'm interested in, I behave differently, which may make me come off as less worthwhile.

 

[lickawrist]

i make fun of my dad's bald crown all the time. may explain why our relationship isnt always the greatest lol

 

[Joan]

It's ok, we love you for that and other reasons too

Thanks, David!

 

[cocohot]

I go to a psychologist and she's very perplexed by my case. She thinks I'm very desirable and suspects my problem or part of it is that I'm not socially aware enough to capitalize on the opportunities likely present in my life.

She's encouraged me to go see prostitutes as a means of becoming more comfortable in my own skin.

Says losing 50 lbs which I have done is great, but she's not sure that's the problem. Lots of men are fat disgusting slobs and their wives love them.

They have a triangle in psychology to describe relationships. Three sides. I think the sides are sex/affection, companionship, and communication.

She says I have good friends all over the world, good friendship skills, but I'm not able to convert that to relationships, I likely become a different person when I'm with a woman I'm interested in, I behave differently, which may make me come off as less worthwhile.

lol she told you to go to prostitutes?

I wonder if there's one that does a two for one special? Like a therapist that gives happy endings?

I'm only joking, in reality I would say Fred could give you better and more practical advice than that (or any) woman. Women have absolutely no idea what it's like for men. T

She seems to be saying it's your fault that you're getting rejected by women, then contradicts herself saying women would want you but that you need to pay for sex.

Those fat slobs were probably very handsome until they married those women. And they probably have hair.

 

[blackg]

I always wanted to bang this psychologist that I was seeing a year or two ago.

She was smokin'
She was built like a real woman.
Meaning she wasn't perfect. But, to me she had way more sex appeal then any catwalk model.

 

[cocohot]

On reflection, my problem isn't in my head, it's on my head. A psychologist would just try to convince me that it doesn't matter that I'm bald when it definitely f*****g does matter.

I don't need a psychcologist, I need a trichologist.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

lol she told you to go to prostitutes?

I wonder if there's one that does a two for one special? Like a therapist that gives happy endings?

I'm only joking, in reality I would say Fred could give you better and more practical advice than that (or any) woman. Women have absolutely no idea what it's like for men. T

She seems to be saying it's your fault that you're getting rejected by women, then contradicts herself saying women would want you but that you need to pay for sex.

Those fat slobs were probably very handsome until they married those women. And they probably have hair.

I think it's just that women's tastes change as they get older.

When they're 12-25, they want pretty boys, like Chace Crawford.
When they're 25-40, they want tall men with excellent bone structure and significant muscles.
At 40-80, they want companionship.
At 80+, they just want painkillers.
All figures are approximate and vary from woman to woman. Some humour is thrown in.

Happens a lot. The other day I carpooled with a 50+ woman for a group outing to a winery celebrating a local truffle festival. She told me she wished I lived in London, England so that she could fix me up with her beautiful, brilliant niece. She says her niece has told her she can't find good men. Anyway, I bet if this woman were 25 years younger she would see my failings and not my strengths.

I did ask the psychologist how much relationship struggle she sees in her office. She says younger men talk about not being able to connect with women, and older women talk about not being able to connect with men.

With that said, I want to point out that you have a very reductionist and limited point of view here. It is in fact the case that I'm socially awkward, that it comes off that way in real life regularly and that I miss queues, et cetera. It doesn't mean that "it's my fault". My social awkwardness is a product of a lot of things such as genetics, environment, early childhood nutrition, my unique background, et cetera. It's something I need to work on long-term and not just for women, and we've put a lot of effort into it in the past year. I've made a point of going out with more people and interacting more and it's had some successes and payoffs.

It is also the case that due to my social awkwardness and anxiety I have failed to capitalize on opportunities for sex/romance/relationships in the past, I count at least five women. That's not a huge number for a 32 year old man, but it's significant and proves the point and is larger than the number of women I have capitalized with. I believe that in the popular press this is part of what they call "confidence".

From most of my first ten or so jobs during the age of 17-23, I was fired. I had a hard time getting along with people, following instructions, et cetera. That's not just "looks", having mild autism combined with a loud voice and being socially sheltered puts a target on your back. Some of the people on this forum have no interests outside of tinder, so this will be meaningless to them. To somebody who cares about work, and who has poor parents and thus no social safety net, this was a source of great stress.

Do not assume that you're the smartest man in the world, and do not assume that Fred is the smartest man in the world and certainly do not assume that anybody is omniscient. Happiness, success, romance, et cetera are all multivariable processes. If you have the energy, the means, and the will to do so you should tackle issues from a multilateral perspective. It is very unlikely that you have the incredible introspection required to necessarily pinpoint the exact problem in your life that is the source of all your pain. You may need to invest in multiple areas including areas where you might actually be fine.

 

[constrictedvoid]

Do any of you who go to psychologists find it actually helps you? To me these things that depress me seem rational and it's the rest of the world that's insane.

Have been in the past, found them utterly unhelpful. I can see how they might be useful in someone who lacks meta-cognition and/or observant friends. Generally found them far too caught up in their, in my humble opinion, out-there ideas, and not at all focused optimizing neurophysiology by getting systemic health to a better place. All their words were seen as even more pointless than I initially suspected when my body actually started functioning better and I could see many of my perceived problems were essentially arising as a result of the brain trying, and failing to engage in things that act as compensatory mood stabilizers in the context of an inherently unstable general physiology(sorry for the long sentence, too lazy to edit it to be shorter).

Probably very helpful for more typical people, though. I can see how they tried to bring things to the surface in my psychology that they thought I was not aware of.

 

[constrictedvoid]

At 80+, they just want painkillers.


Happens a lot. The other day I carpooled with a 50+ woman for a group outing to a winery celebrating a local truffle festival. She told me she wished I lived in London, England so that she could fix me up with her beautiful, brilliant niece. She says her niece has told her she can't find good men. Anyway, I bet if this woman were 25 years younger she would see my failings and not my strengths.

Gotta love that painkiller line.

Do you think the now 50+ women were ever like the now mid 20s women? I sometimes have the impression they just perceive things quite differently as a result of growing up in a different era. But that may very well be incorrect, I wasn't around. I can't imagine some older women having had the same attitude most first world women these days do, back in the day.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Gotta love that painkiller line.

Do you think the now 50+ women were ever like the now mid 20s women? I sometimes have the impression they just perceive things quite differently as a result of growing up in a different era. But that may very well be incorrect, I wasn't around. I can't imagine some older women having had the same attitude most first world women these days do, back in the day.

I don't know, I think a little bit of a and a little bit of b.

There was no tinder then. @shookwun has insightfully pointed out that online dating for women is like high-speed pornography for women, it's a constant stimulus of new imagery and new possibilities and dopamine spikes that can accelerate shallowness. I also think, similarly, that it's one step down from a sperm bank, where I presume no woman is taking your sperm unless you're a 6'3 neurosurgeon with an IQ of 145+ who went to Harvard, or equivalent.

She did tell me that her husband was bald when they met. She said when she was young the way to meet people was through dances, you'd go to a dance and only one or two men would ask you to dance and you'd evaluate them there. She said if she had met him in a different context she would not have looked twice at him.

On the other hand, we know hormones, etc are nearly universal, minus small changes due to endocrine disruptors in the environment, the birth control pill, et cetera. 90% of women now are on the BCP, and that changes what kind of man they find attractive.

My sister did not have tinder or the internet when she was a teen. She is 6 years older than me, and back then the cool thing to have was a phone line in your own room, and cable TV at home (lol). I do remember that when she was a teen her wall was plastered with pictures of pretty boys like the new kids on the block. As an adult though, she preferred men who are tall with large shoulders, etc, and that also came before the internet and online dating.

 

[shookwun]

Correct. The novelty of a man wears of very quick within the online scene. Ts either leave your print and a good impression or get left behind and forgotten . I hAve spoken with lots of chicks and most don't bother to text first unless they are highey interested. Even then you must keep her attention on you before and within the initial stages. Always remember, you're not the only one dividing his attention to her. It rele all falls down to preference, your personality has very little do with anything in regards to her decision.


I have been through the ropes of women semi-interested, very-interested and those who are not leading to anything. How receptive she is, 85% related to your looks threshold. I would say the other 15% is just initiative to make something happen between the two of you. Most women who are genuinely interested will give you lots of material to work with, and flatter you heavily. The ones who make you feel hesitant are those you drop asap.

I don't want to hear about matches anymore. Does not mean anything. Talk to me about actual dates and sexual encounters that took place when you finally met. A lot of noobs jerk off to 'matches' like they mean anything

 

[blackg]

I agree, and I too think this. Furthermore, I'm quite sure her "balding boyfriends" were all like this.

Dante, Evillocks has been nothing but accepting of you and has even offered the hand of friendship several times.

Yet you persist in making an enemy of her.
If this is how you treat any woman that comes into your real life (or anybody else for that matter) then you are destined for a long life of self loathing and solitude.

People can only take so much.

 

[hellouser]

Hang with people who truly appreciate you, with women who are attracted to you (sometimes even despite your balding or baldness!) and you'll find life way more bearable and you'll end up happier for sure.

With all the people I'm frequently seeing now (my friends and the girls I'm dating), I could easily think "hey, baldness doesn't matter, does it?" But I would be wrong. There will always be assholes out there would will jump on your insecurities at the first occasion.

Just don't hang out with them and ignore them. But it can be hard at your workplace or when you're out at a bar for example.

People are quite nice to me at my workplace but that's because they think I shave my head. My bald colleague gets mocked practically every day.

This (and your other comments that women care a LOT about looks) made me think about a close friend of mine who's stupidly sexy. She's fun to be around, a mexican firecracker and full of energy. But the more I learn about her, the more disappointed I become. I think it's becoming a toxic relationship though she doesn't know it (i've known her for too long and don't wanna say anything too direct for fear of ruining the friendship).

What I've noticed is that she's in a dilemma. She's not well off financially. She used to date one of my best friends who always took her out on weekends, either to parties, or the beach or road trips. As soon as he quit spending all that cash on her, the relationship started to hit rock bottom. At the end of their relationship she started seeing another guy... a wealthy fairly good looking guy (fullhead). She went for him. Problem is... the guy is a Grade A douchebag. I met him only once and immediately noticed this guy was in love with himself. His posture told me everything about him, standing close to his new squeeze but not too close with his nose up high (literally) looking over the entire crowd, as if everyone there was beneath him. This guy would treat her like an object, not a partner. But she stayed with him and broke up with him multiple times. Eventually she moved out of the country which ended the relationship for good and started seeing other guys abroad and is now in a relationship. She recently came back to visit and had a party for her being back but was late to it (some people left cuz they didnt want to wait any longer)... guess who she went to see? The douchebag. This guy takes her to a bar where the drinks are served with half naked women, starts flaunting his 6 pack, she rejects it all and then he shows off his Mercedes saying 'that could have been hers'. Yes, THIS is how Toronto men are like (its no wonder why there are so many third wave feminists, despite them being batshit crazy). In any case... I asked her 'Has any time you've spent with him benefitted you at all?' The answer was no. But I started thinking....

Why is she with him?

It's the sex and money, obviously. It has to be. What else could it be? But she can't be with him because she KNOWS he's a douchebag. She got annoyed when I mocked him at one point and asked why do I hate him, my response was 'Because he doesn't respect you.'

All of this girls friends are gold diggers, marrying or dating only rich guys, constantly berating any guy who doesnt possess all three qualities; looks, money and personality.

I hung out with her and her friends the next day and went home feeling unusually depressed. It reminded me why I can't stand Toronto women so much.. the shallowness, the hypergamy, the entitlement... holy macro. It's unbearable. I mean, it sucks being single going home to an empty house of your own after you've hung out with a legit 10/10 woman.. but I'm starting to think it's becoming toxic.

Is being around these people healthy? Her friends don't like her new boyfriend because he's not very physically attractive and she could do better. As if that's supposed to matter to anyone but her? She's in the relationship because she's hopefully happy, RIGHT? Well, as it turns out the new guy works on Wall St. and makes a load of money. Hooray.

To the women reading this; guys are just as shallow, I'm sure of it and I know it. But we only b**ch about women not because you think were misogynists but because we're heterosexuals. If we were gay, we'd be bitching about other men.

To get down to brass tacks, the general populace seems to be gutter trash. Baldness or not, we're all gimped in some way unless you win three lotteries (looks, wealth and upbringing for an attractive personality).

 

[cocohot]

I think it's just that women's tastes change as they get older.

When they're 12-25, they want pretty boys, like Chace Crawford.
When they're 25-40, they want tall men with excellent bone structure and significant muscles.
At 40-80, they want companionship.
At 80+, they just want painkillers.
All figures are approximate and vary from woman to woman. Some humour is thrown in.

Happens a lot. The other day I carpooled with a 50+ woman for a group outing to a winery celebrating a local truffle festival. She told me she wished I lived in London, England so that she could fix me up with her beautiful, brilliant niece. She says her niece has told her she can't find good men. Anyway, I bet if this woman were 25 years younger she would see my failings and not my strengths.

I did ask the psychologist how much relationship struggle she sees in her office. She says younger men talk about not being able to connect with women, and older women talk about not being able to connect with men.

With that said, I want to point out that you have a very reductionist and limited point of view here. It is in fact the case that I'm socially awkward, that it comes off that way in real life regularly and that I miss queues, et cetera. It doesn't mean that "it's my fault". My social awkwardness is a product of a lot of things such as genetics, environment, early childhood nutrition, my unique background, et cetera. It's something I need to work on long-term and not just for women, and we've put a lot of effort into it in the past year. I've made a point of going out with more people and interacting more and it's had some successes and payoffs.

It is also the case that due to my social awkwardness and anxiety I have failed to capitalize on opportunities for sex/romance/relationships in the past, I count at least five women. That's not a huge number for a 32 year old man, but it's significant and proves the point and is larger than the number of women I have capitalized with. I believe that in the popular press this is part of what they call "confidence".

From most of my first ten or so jobs during the age of 17-23, I was fired. I had a hard time getting along with people, following instructions, et cetera. That's not just "looks", having mild autism combined with a loud voice and being socially sheltered puts a target on your back. Some of the people on this forum have no interests outside of tinder, so this will be meaningless to them. To somebody who cares about work, and who has poor parents and thus no social safety net, this was a source of great stress.

Do not assume that you're the smartest man in the world, and do not assume that Fred is the smartest man in the world and certainly do not assume that anybody is omniscient. Happiness, success, romance, et cetera are all multivariable processes. If you have the energy, the means, and the will to do so you should tackle issues from a multilateral perspective. It is very unlikely that you have the incredible introspection required to necessarily pinpoint the exact problem in your life that is the source of all your pain. You may need to invest in multiple areas including areas where you might actually be fine.

I wasn't saying Fred is the smartest guy in the world lol, I just thought it was funny a qualified therapist gave you the same advice that Fred would, to go to prostitutes. I just find it funny, the idea of her handing you a written medical prescription for a prostitute. I'm not insulting you, just making a joke.

Do you think if you weren't obese and going bald you would have been seen as "awkward" though? Is it possible your awkwardness and lack of confidence comes down to not being happy with how you look, first you were fat and now you are bald(ing). You know your looks won't get you far causing you to panic when you're forced to rely on them?

A lifetime of rejection because of your looks has conditioned you to expect it and to start panicking when you're in that situation because you know another rejection is coming. The rejection is because of your looks but your therapist is attributing it to your behaviour as a "cope"?

edit: Actually you look great in that picture you posted in my other thread, you can disregard most of the above.