I related a lot to what
@CaptainForehead wrote. I'm also a late virgin (sort of), I've also tried going to a prostitute, and like him my first visit ended in failure. I did not go for a second visit, but maybe I should have and it would have been a good idea. I've also only noticed some differences between male and female bodies later on. I just didn't and probably still don't know female bodies, for example the fact butts curve back for women, that's how the bones are shaped, etc.
Most similar though was the feeling and history of restraint. I often feel like I'm not allowed to like women, and that hampers me. I read countless stories of women on twitter, Facebook, etc that they were harassed when a man gaze at their boobs one time six years ago and that it's traumatized them, and it reinforces a sense that I need to be sexually invisible near women.
I was at a party tonight. I spoke to a woman I found attractive for ~15 minutes, but I just did not know how to steer the conversation to a more romantic tone. There's a part of me that felt like it would be a faux-pas to accelerate. I didn't know what to do, I got anxious, so I ended the conversation and went to get ice cream.
Separately I agree with what
@Patrick_Bateman wrote. Prostitutes can be great but there's no substitute for young, mutual love. I did once have, briefly, a relationship involving a woman where there was mutual attraction, and it was simply phenomenal. I was 23, she was 22 and gorgeous and I felt like I could make out with her indefinitely. I just wanted to grab her everywhere simultaneously, so I felt like my two hands and one mouth just weren't enough. The emotional aspects mattered to, I'd feel excitement at the thought of doing nice things for her, like when I took her out for her birthday it was an elaborate plan.
I have no idea.
This may come as a surprise, but that woman didn't swipe right on me, so I will not be having any conversations with her.
What's missing?
Somehow I actually find her less attractive, particularly in the second photo.
