HatPrisoner91 said:
DoctorHouse said:
HP, Cassin locked this thread because he felt the same thing. However, UM wanted it unlocked to allow Oknow and other posters to chime in. If he did not want this posting to go on he would have told Cassin. You also have to understand UM has two issues, BDD and hair loss. Some people here can relate to his BDD and not his hair loss. My BDD does not center on my hair. I agree with you on the other threads that are not about UM. People seem to drag either you or UM into the conversation as the poster boys for misery due to hair loss. I don't think that is really appropriate but you guys have "set the example" yourselves. People tend to center you two out because you both seem to be the most miserable and depressed about your situation. Plus, UM is always telling about his everyday encounters with people who treat him negatively due to his baldness. I think that encourages some of the posters on here to center UM out alot. He "draws attention" to his posts. And some people believe the same with you. Trust me, most of the people deep down inside understand that your situation and UM's situation must be devastating even if they are still a NW1-4. Most of them live in FEAR of having to experience what you and UM experience every day of your lives. Its their FEAR that drives them to this forum. And when they read posts from you and UM, that FEAR becomes total paranoia.
I don't think it has to do with UCMan saying it was ok. I think it has to do with people who are not in our situation trying to tell us what we "should be doing". Because honestly, if you follow the logic here, if they are THIS devasted by being a NW2, then honestly I think they would shoot themselved being a NW5 and above. I mean a NW5 to ME would be a step up than where I am. That is when you know it's bad. It's no longer called hairloss when you have no hair left.
What pisses me off is there is nothing you can do. I can't take a pill, and am beyond a hair transplant (for anything reasonable, not to mention the money it would cost). If you look ok, then that's good. If you look like complete ***, people expect you to "portray confidence". Some people can't be fake. They feel ugly or hideous, well then that is how they feel. It always ticks me off when I hear people say things like that. You feel what you feel. I don't go around and tell a person who has just been mutilated on their face to just get over it do I? Eventually with work, they have to adjust to what they have but they will NEVER feel like everyone else. There will always be that thing. It's similar to being one of the few bald white dudes around my age range. I see guys with hairloss and that is different.
One thing I have noticed about this forum is the avaters, man they are funky.
Right, being one of the guys you refer to. Yes I can style my hair to cover my recession (as you can see my blog), yes I have probably 1 or 2 strands of hair missing. Needless to say I do have hairloss, as my hairline is not straight, its a V. Concerned by this, this is why I have taken the time to educate myself about hairloss. This may or may not get worse, and that is a sh*t thought. Saying that I am not devestated by it, as its a relatively nice hairline still, at worse I am just paranoid over it. But it does not devestate me as I know it could be A LOT worse. Besides who knows, 10 years from now I could be a NW5. If anything talking to you, Dudemon and UCMan has eased my woes on my own hairloss, as I am grateful that I have a good set of hair.
Anyway without babbering on about that as it is irrelevent, Doctor House pretty much summed it up. UCMan has drawn attention to himself because I have NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER ever seen somebody so badly affected by BDD as him. I have BDD, but I still try to live a normal life despite it, I still try it on with girls who may or may not find me attractive, I still have career aspirations and so on.
Hairloss is bad, but it is acceptable. Go outside, there are a lot of guys losing hair, and they shave it off or if it is not that bad style it in a way that makes it look fashionable.
Now imagine if say you had a condition where your teeth do not touch, your bottom jaw is crooked, your speech is affected (due to your bite not touching), how would you deal with that at a young age when all your mates dont have this problem? A good smile imo is MUCH more important then hair, can you imagine how awkward the situation can be when a girl says to you "hey smile with your teeth for this photo" (when in your head you are like, "I physically cant do this"). And as you are communicating with a girl verbly obviously having a good bite is equally important due to phonetical reasons. Not to mention because your jaw is essentially out of place, your facial symmetry is disrupted, making you look less attractive then you ought to be.
But you know what, I still try out there, I get on with my life. I talk to girls, I get laid, I don't give up, this is why I don't get UCman. Not to downplay significant hairloss, but as it is SO common many people (girls) wouldn't care as they know its one of those things that happens to guys. It's all about attitude, women, if anything are driven by how well you emotionally connect with them then the way you look. They want a guy that is not only confident, by that popular, can hold his own ground etc, but has a sensitive, charming and intelligent side. They want a man, not an insecure boy.
