An open letter to Uncomfortable man

[Oknow]

But you know what, I still try out there, I get on with my life. I talk to girls, I get laid, I don't give up, this is why I don't get UCman. Not to downplay significant hairloss, but as it is SO common many people (girls) wouldn't care as they know its one of those things that happens to guys. It's all about attitude, women, if anything are driven by how well you emotionally connect with them then the way you look. They want a guy that is not only confident, by that popular, can hold his own ground etc, but has a sensitive, charming and intelligent side. They want a man, not an insecure boy.

And so did I when I had more hairloss that you, what's the point. You can't use what you are doing, when you are missing 1 or 2 stranss of hair. Sorry, but it just does not computer. It would be like I have a small scar on my shin saying "hey man, i get out there, so should you". Meanwhile you face was burned completely and you are missing your nose. Yeah sure, I can relate to that. Ok there!

And no it's not NORMAL to see bald guys our age. I might see 1 or 2 in a day. By bald I mean a NW5-NW7. I also mean white guys as well (black guys shave their heads all the time as that is a look that works with them). I don't mean guys who are 60 years old. And I Certainly don't mean guys with bald spots. That sucks but it's not the same as being completely bald.

It's funny how you talk about insecure "boy" and you are on a hairloss website when you have like no hairloss. Do you know how much hair I lost before I came on these things? Cmon man.

Like anyone when your hair starts going missing, it is worrying especially if it is for the first time and you dont know why it is happening. That is why I joined this web site, to see what options were avaliable to prevent further hairloss. That way if required, I can maintain the hair I have got if the meds work. I actually was going to leave this site since finding out my hairloss is not bad (mature hairline), but what struck me was how bad the BDD was with some of you guys. I could relate, so thought I could help.

That is my reality.

Here's a good idea. Why don't you just keep researching and educating yourself rather than trying to cop a holier than thou attitude on a poster here who is suffering through something that you have absolutely NO IDEA about.

As I dont have significant hairloss, yes you are right I dont know what it is like being a NW5, but what you should have got from my post prior to this one, I have BDD from something else. And although it is sh*t, the reality is I have to accept it (thats all I can do) and get on with things. You have to do the same too, and really once you truely accept the problem even though it may still bother you, you will be much happier.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Oknow, I think you need to realize he is NEVER going to accept it so its not worth pushing the issue any further. Its his "curse" and he must live with it but he does not have to accept it. You can't ask a person to be happy with something they despise. However, I will tell you one thing, HP is lucky he has a girlfriend that cares about him regardless of his bald head. It could be worse if he was totally alone with no one.

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

But you know what, I still try out there, I get on with my life. I talk to girls, I get laid, I don't give up, this is why I don't get UCman. Not to downplay significant hairloss, but as it is SO common many people (girls) wouldn't care as they know its one of those things that happens to guys. It's all about attitude, women, if anything are driven by how well you emotionally connect with them then the way you look. They want a guy that is not only confident, by that popular, can hold his own ground etc, but has a sensitive, charming and intelligent side. They want a man, not an insecure boy.

And so did I when I had more hairloss that you, what's the point. You can't use what you are doing, when you are missing 1 or 2 stranss of hair. Sorry, but it just does not computer. It would be like I have a small scar on my shin saying "hey man, i get out there, so should you". Meanwhile you face was burned completely and you are missing your nose. Yeah sure, I can relate to that. Ok there!

And no it's not NORMAL to see bald guys our age. I might see 1 or 2 in a day. By bald I mean a NW5-NW7. I also mean white guys as well (black guys shave their heads all the time as that is a look that works with them). I don't mean guys who are 60 years old. And I Certainly don't mean guys with bald spots. That sucks but it's not the same as being completely bald.

It's funny how you talk about insecure "boy" and you are on a hairloss website when you have like no hairloss. Do you know how much hair I lost before I came on these things? Cmon man.

Here's a good idea. Why don't you just keep researching and educating yourself rather than trying to cop a holier than thou attitude on a poster here who is suffering through something that you have absolutely NO IDEA about.

I completely agree. I am aware of the fact that my hair loss is fairly minimal so far - even though I am sure it has changed the way I look and already taken a few notchs of my attractiveness. I feel I used to be a 8-9, now im a 6-7. I have seen oknows photos and he has lost barely anything. It is a joke him coming on here and telling everyone to get over it type thing. I know I can be guilty of this sometimes - but this is mainly when i am trying to get out of a depressive cycle myself - but most of my posts are more pessemestic, and essientally I feel, grounded in reality.

When I was 17-19..I knew and felt I was good looking. And I was aware of girls taking interest in me a lot. Going out to clubs, bars, whatever, it was never a problem. I could score easily.(perhaps i do look back on this period with rose tinted glasses but looking back on it i realized that it was truly a special time for me).

But since my hair loss has developed noticibly it has taken that luck away from me. I thought that I was going to have the best 10-20 years ever. I thought that from the way I had been treated that this would be the pattern that my 20's and 30's would take..how wrong i was though. The party stopped quickly. In a short period it seemed like girls were almost on tap.. Now however the party is over. Everyman has his day I guess. I guess that was mine. But when reality hits you on the head, and you wake up and hair loss is taking away your most prized possession - your once good looks - its tragic.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Hair isnt the only thing that makes a person look good, its also facial features and body type and charm and swagger and all that crap. So look you petulant children, just go and get pumped up, you dont even need a gym membership. Remember Herschel Walker, that chisled RB for Dal and Minn? He did it all from push-up, sit-ups, and sprints, never lifted a weight. So theres no excuse if looking good or feeling good about yourself is so high up on the food chain. Make the best of what you got, crying around wont do you any good.

Women can sniff out if a dude is not confident or meek or shallow. Thats a bigt issue. Y'all need to have some "aura" about you and not coming on here bellyaching with this woe-is-me, the-sky-is-falling BS. Judge yourself over your looks if you must you vain bastards. Youre just a bunch of superficial wankers, and I dont give three damns and four fuks if thats how the world turns (bc I know it does, im aware of this). Buy some pornos, jack off and dont worry about wooing the opposite sex.

Only YOU can define happiness, not some fake b**ch in the club or some gawking passersby on the street. People come on here for support but how can you support or comfort someone who is a perpetual grouch/cynic/doubting thomas like UM? My goodness. More people are maimed/mutilated and handicapped than youll ever lay an eye on. And they dont act like you. I feel your pain jigga, I have maybe 14 hairs on my head but your melancholy, pensive bitching is contagious in a bad way. Jesus. Get a grip little boy. How pathetic....

Rheinblick, you do give some good advice in a "warped" kind of way. I have to admit your posts are very creative and entertaining. Keep up the good work.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Why do you refer to us as jiggas? Most of the posters on here are not of Afro-American descent............................ :whistle:

 

[thetodd]

I think how badly hairloss effects you depends on a lot of factors, the main one being your appearancs sans hair. Some guys can get away with the slick look. They just shave the rest of the hair off and go about their business. It all depends on how you look bald. I went that route once and just didn't care for it, so now I'm using concealers. Honestly, I wish I looked good with no hair. It would have made my life a lot easier. Instead I'm having to apply the minoxidil twice a day, take my finesterside, shampoo with nizoral three times a week, and apply the prothik to hide my problem.
The sad fact is that hairloss does have a detrimental effect on men, and it's not just in our heads.

 

[uncomfortable man]

So you're saying I should toughen up for the jiggas on the streets...because I can't be a hard gangsta like you if I'm depressed about hairloss...dog? :shakehead:

 

[uncomfortable man]

If you're a 23 yo nw2 (your average HairLossTalk.com user) who is trying to tell HP and me to accept it, whilst you keep poppin finasteride then can't you see how hypocritical that is? I mean if you were to wake up as an nw5 tomorrow, chances are you would sh*t yourselves and then proceed to be on here crying for help, loosing your composure and freaking out like it was the end of the world....YOUR world! It IS condacending and you're really in no position to give us advice on how to feel until you have actually been there yourself. While as well wishing as it may be, your consistent disclaimers about-"Don't get me wrong, I would rather have my hair." and "I'm sure it's worse if you're actually bald." says everything that needs to be said.

 

[Smooth]

I dont mean it like that jigga my N....

sucka DJs roll wit da punches

:shock: .. is that English? can someone translate please??

 

[qball01]

If you're a 23 yo nw2 (your average HairLossTalk.com user) who is trying to tell HP and me to accept it, whilst you keep poppin finasteride then can't you see how hypocritical that is? I mean if you were to wake up as an nw5 tomorrow, chances are you would sh*t yourselves and then proceed to be on here crying for help, loosing your composure and freaking out like it was the end of the world....YOUR world! It IS condacending and you're really in no position to give us advice on how to feel until you have actually been there yourself. While as well wishing as it may be, your consistent disclaimers about-"Don't get me wrong, I would rather have my hair." and "I'm sure it's worse if you're actually bald." says everything that needs to be said.

sure...they shouldn't be preaching, I agree (altho considering I can't even grow out my hair I think I'm in a position to say a thing or 2 at the tender age of 21) but its still not absurd of them to say that you shouldn't let it RUIN your life like you have....the thing you have to get is that you and HP act like your route is the common one taken by people who go bald....well newsflash...you guys are the sorry, sad saps who have let it destroy you to the point of no return....the majority of people who go bald don't let this happen, even if they dislike hairloss which most probably inevitably will...

and if you want people in your position to tell you how things should be...then why not try

http://www.baldrus.com/

http://www.slybaldguys.com

http://www.baldguyz.com/

but no...you'll find some reason why those sites are stupid, or that those guys aren't really happy or they're not as bald as you or something irrelevant and stupid...because its a lot easier not to take responsibility for your own life by blaming baldness than to realize that the reason you suck...is YOU, hair or no hair. And I'm being serious, its true...a lot of human beings tend to take the easy way out of things rather than face up to the hard facts. You do realize this will continue too until you actually come to terms with the facts, right? The thought that you could actually be living a great life now with an abundance of dating and social activities if you approached things differently is one that you don't want to admit to yourself...so instead you blame the fact you're bald and it becomes an easy self fulfilling prophecy. You get an excuse NOT to put yourself out there because as we all know....every woman (ESPECIALLY the more mature ones at your age in your friggin mid thirties) is going to reject a bald guy no matter what...and no man will EVER view a bald man as equal to them because they have hair and the bald guy doesn't...forget the myriad of other qualities that make a man (something you are the farthest thing from being, sadly)...nope....it all has to do with hair, right?

get a wig, tattoo your damn hair, or do whatever...just shut up and stop whining that the ONLY reason you are where you are in life is because you're bald...its pathetic. I'm not saying that going bald doesn't SUCK and pose some serious psychological hurdles...but when are you going to admit to yourself that baldness isn't the sole reason you are like you are? When are you going to realize that there are many people out there balder than you living great lives?...WHEN?

wake up and realize that this world doesn't belong to Norwood 1's...bald guys are right up there with them competing for all the top resources, jobs, and women. Wouldn't you rather join in on the party than sulk and convince yourself you wouldn't be accepted when millions of bald men ARE?

 

[s.a.f]

I dont mean it like that jigga my N....

sucka DJs roll wit da punches

:shock: .. is that English? can someone translate please??

sucka DJs roll wit da punches = I'm a f** and I like to suck strangers c**** in toilets.

 

[toocoolforhair]

http://www.baldrus.com/

http://www.slybaldguys.com

http://www.baldguyz.com/

I have experience with one of those websites (I won't name which one), as I used to be a member. At first I thought great; finally a place where balding/bald people are not judged badly. Unfortunately, I soon realised it was the opposite. I haven't looked at the website recently, but I remember there were threads mocking celebrities with hair loss. In general, any male hair loss sufferer who did not shave his head was branded a coward and laughed at.

Far from being a pro-bald site, it was actually a pro-head shaver site. There was no advocation of treating hair loss there; it was always shave shave shave. Whilst I agree with shaving, it does not mean I have to disagree with treatment. Another thing I noticed is that literally every guy who shaved his head had the same responses. 'It rocks', 'Awesome', 'Suits you'. Sure, it's nice to be positive, but surely every single male on the planet does not look good with a shaved head.

I'm all for being positive, but not like a mindless robot. It is a fact that some people do not suit a shaved head. I can think of many examples e.g. Jude Law, Nicholas Cage, Jack Nicholson.

In my opinion sites like HairLossTalk are better as they offer lots of alternatives and realistic discussion. The pro-head shaving sites seem to be for head-shavers to preach their head-shaving ideology. I want a more realistic take on living with hair loss, rather than dismissing it as 100% psychological.

 

[uncomfortable man]

http://www.baldrus.com/

http://www.slybaldguys.com

http://www.baldguyz.com/

I have experience with one of those websites (I won't name which one), as I used to be a member. At first I thought great; finally a place where balding/bald people are not judged badly. Unfortunately, I soon realised it was the opposite. I haven't looked at the website recently, but I remember there were threads mocking celebrities with hair loss. In general, any male hair loss sufferer who did not shave his head was branded a coward and laughed at.

Far from being a pro-bald site, it was actually a pro-head shaver site. There was no advocation of treating hair loss there; it was always shave shave shave. Whilst I agree with shaving, it does not mean I have to disagree with treatment. Another thing I noticed is that literally every guy who shaved his head had the same responses. 'It rocks', 'Awesome', 'Suits you'. Sure, it's nice to be positive, but surely every single male on the planet does not look good with a shaved head.

I'm all for being positive, but not like a mindless robot. It is a fact that some people do not suit a shaved head. I can think of many examples e.g. Jude Law, Nicholas Cage, Jack Nicholson.

In my opinion sites like HairLossTalk are better as they offer lots of alternatives and realistic discussion. The pro-head shaving sites seem to be for head-shavers to preach their head-shaving ideology. I want a more realistic take on living with hair loss, rather than dismissing it as 100% psychological.

Yes...exactly, thank you. Reversed brain washed is what they are. Hey, I understand the need to make a community that is supportive and uplifting to bald guys as a counter to the negative stigma society has for baldies, but it is such an obvious coping mechanism and if it makes them feel better then let them. I can't live in denial.

 

[DoctorHouse]

thank you guys for keeping this a healthy discussion.

now carry on.... : )

And as you were saying.............................................. :whistle:

 

[uncomfortable man]

@ rheinblick, what's so funny (besides your hood dialect) is that this was a civil thread until you showed up. You're the only one here spewing negative sh*t, so whats that make you? If you're such a stone cold gangsta, then what are you even doing on this site? Especially since you claim to be too tough (being a ghettofabulous stereotype, sippin on 40's and smoking blunts) to care about being bald.

 

[barcafan]

You get an excuse NOT to put yourself out there because as we all know....every woman (ESPECIALLY the more mature ones at your age in your friggin mid thirties) is going to reject a bald guy no matter what.

how in the hell can women like them when they dont like themselves? im as bald as them, if not worse but i dont sit at home poo-pooing everything. I go get pussy, starting with TONIGHT, I will be rawdogging a ho. ucman is a weak, fragile little girl. i hate to call him out but its what he is. instead of finding solutions or answers or acceptance with something he hones in on problems and difficulties associated with said issue. glass is half empty to him. f*ck, its completely empty. his negative energy sucks a c*** but hey since no one here is as bald as him (even though i am), you dont nary understand or empathize with him.

I think it depends on the person.

If you're good looking, hair or not isn't going to affect your looks too much. Calum Best looks great for example when his hair's buzzed off due to the shape of his head.

Jude Law on the other hand doesn't really have the right shaped head for it in my opinion. He's still good looking, but doesn't hold his looks as well as Best.

The biggest thing is how you cope with it, if you don't let it affect your personality. I know loads of bald guys who have gorgeous girlfriends, simply because they didn't let it get them down/knock their confidence.

Dude you are DEAD ON with all of your assessments, great job. Look. I have most of my hair and if you saw me I you would say I have a pretty decent head of hair. To the untrained eye I have a full head of hair lol. What I am saying is I am losing it, I have noticed inasmuch. BUT my main point is that if my hair does go belly-up, what you said holds true: If youre attractive with hair youll still possess those same facial features without hair. Now some women cant cope with the notion of dating someone whos bald (ususally the younger crowd) whilst others dont give a hoot, its all about a mans personality or his body, blah blah blah.

Heres how I feel: I am going to do everything short of a hair transplant to save my hair. But when/if the day comes that I see I am fighting a losing battle then I am going to shave it all off. I naturally have a good body so a little extra time a week in the gym and some trips to the tanning booth coupled with some 5 o'clock shadow facial hair will reinvent you. Shave it off, get muscular, grow facial hair and youll be surprised how many women will be after you.....

I feel like such a loser digging that up, but something smells like sh*t around here

rheinblick you need to calm the f*** down dude its pretty obvious you have some issues as well

Also, why the f*** are you talking to yourself?

 

[uncomfortable man]

There's a saying in the hood for guys like him...STR8 TRIPPIN. Don't be frontin on the frontier, ya heard?

 

[barcafan]

sh*t's whack, yo.

 

[s.a.f]

http://www.baldrus.com/

http://www.slybaldguys.com

http://www.baldguyz.com/

I have experience with one of those websites (I won't name which one), as I used to be a member. At first I thought great; finally a place where balding/bald people are not judged badly. Unfortunately, I soon realised it was the opposite. I haven't looked at the website recently, but I remember there were threads mocking celebrities with hair loss. In general, any male hair loss sufferer who did not shave his head was branded a coward and laughed at.

Far from being a pro-bald site, it was actually a pro-head shaver site. There was no advocation of treating hair loss there; it was always shave shave shave. Whilst I agree with shaving, it does not mean I have to disagree with treatment. Another thing I noticed is that literally every guy who shaved his head had the same responses. 'It rocks', 'Awesome', 'Suits you'. Sure, it's nice to be positive, but surely every single male on the planet does not look good with a shaved head.
I'm all for being positive, but not like a mindless robot. It is a fact that some people do not suit a shaved head. I can think of many examples e.g. Jude Law, Nicholas Cage, Jack Nicholson.

In my opinion sites like HairLossTalk are better as they offer lots of alternatives and realistic discussion. The pro-head shaving sites seem to be for head-shavers to preach their head-shaving ideology. I want a more realistic take on living with hair loss, rather than dismissing it as 100% psychological.

I'm with you 100% on that one there used to be a guy from Slybaldguys on here and all he would talk about was how baldness was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him (honestly).
They're a bunch of patronising wankers who are in denial about the situation if its that easy to deal with why do they even need a site.

And as far as the headshaving point you mentioned its the same on here, I've never seen a pic of a guy who shaved it where everyone does'nt start saying how great it looks even when it did'nt and most of the time the guy had hardly any loss to begin with and no need to shave it.
The Hugo Weaving thread on hair loss discussions just goes to show that sometimes you still look better with hair even when you have visible loss. Other examples Sting, Bruce Willis (90's), Gordon Ramsey, Daniel Craig, Sam Neal.
That site is also full of UCmans pet hate the guys with NW1's who claim to be bald by choice but still have an obvious good hairline when the shave it down.
And I never saw a guy on there who did'nt look years older than his actual real age.

 

[Oknow]

http://www.baldrus.com/

http://www.slybaldguys.com

http://www.baldguyz.com/

I have experience with one of those websites (I won't name which one), as I used to be a member. At first I thought great; finally a place where balding/bald people are not judged badly. Unfortunately, I soon realised it was the opposite. I haven't looked at the website recently, but I remember there were threads mocking celebrities with hair loss. In general, any male hair loss sufferer who did not shave his head was branded a coward and laughed at.

Far from being a pro-bald site, it was actually a pro-head shaver site. There was no advocation of treating hair loss there; it was always shave shave shave. Whilst I agree with shaving, it does not mean I have to disagree with treatment. Another thing I noticed is that literally every guy who shaved his head had the same responses. 'It rocks', 'Awesome', 'Suits you'. Sure, it's nice to be positive, but surely every single male on the planet does not look good with a shaved head.
I'm all for being positive, but not like a mindless robot. It is a fact that some people do not suit a shaved head. I can think of many examples e.g. Jude Law, Nicholas Cage, Jack Nicholson.

In my opinion sites like HairLossTalk are better as they offer lots of alternatives and realistic discussion. The pro-head shaving sites seem to be for head-shavers to preach their head-shaving ideology. I want a more realistic take on living with hair loss, rather than dismissing it as 100% psychological.

Other examples Sting, Bruce Willis (90's), Gordon Ramsey, Daniel Craig, Sam Neal.

Aside from Sting and Bruce Willis I would never have ever thought of the other guys as bald/balding. And that is probably the same for the rest of the public out there who have no idea about the norwood scale.