Can't Wrap My Head Around How She Doesn't Care

[I.D WALKER]

No disrespect to HairLossTalk.com or women,
It's one thing to share personal concerns with each other, say your peace, hash out "solutions" accordingly and however they apply, but why would any man ask their love interest to become a regular soundboard for their hair loss hang ups and expect the quality of the outcome of this exchange to change any? Keep it up and eventually she may rule you out as less and less of a man and more and more like one of her bitchy, boorish girl-friends. Keep in mind I am playing with extremes for the sake of argument.

Love won't kill a relationship.., but illness surely will.
Don't get sick fellas. -)

 

[EvilLocks]

Same here, I mentioned it once or twice with one of my exes, and a few months later, she drops: "that's all you talk about!"

I mean, really? F-ck, I had a date with one of my girlfriends yesterday, and she asked why I was shaving it, and I let out:

"Well, for one I'm losing it and..." I didn't mention more than that, but I'm sure it's going to cost me, I'm not sure you can even mention it casually.

I'm glad I didn't say anything about a hair transplant, because she would have thought I was an insecure crybaby and that real men don't have plastic surgeries!

She replied: "You're the first balding guy I'm dating, congratulations!"



I won't take any chances.

One of your girlfrienS?! You bad, bad boy! LOL!

 

[buckthorn]

Same here, I mentioned it once or twice with one of my exes, and a few months later, she drops: "that's all you talk about!"

I mean, really? F-ck, I had a date with one of my girlfriends yesterday, and she asked why I was shaving it, and I let out:

"Well, for one I'm losing it and..." I didn't mention more than that, but I'm sure it's going to cost me, I'm not sure you can even mention it casually.

I'm glad I didn't say anything about a hair transplant, because she would have thought I was an insecure crybaby and that real men don't have plastic surgeries!

She replied: "You're the first balding guy I'm dating, congratulations!"



I won't take any chances.

Yeah brother... This entire situation has sent me backwards with women. I have not even gone on a date in 7 months. Hell, haven't even touched a girl in seven months. The longest I have ever gone since 17 years old. The weird thing is, I don't even WANT to. Honestly. I buzzed my head to a six these last two weeks and, despite the see through appearance, I look good and feel better than I have in years. My confidence is even back to some extent. Walking around in wind and rain and in public with no concealers or hair spray. STILL, I don't have much of an urge to see women. My sex drive is high as usual, but I don't even really want to f*ck around. Going through this has jaded me towards them. I give it all in a relationship and they just try to slowly devour my soul like needy parasites, or termites seeking the weakest part of the wood, so they can infiltrate it. No offense to women at all, I do indeed have the deepest respect and love my Mother and Sister more than anyone in this world. I just think it's a societal evolution for them to want to find any weakness they can and exploit the f*ck out of it.

 

[buckthorn]

Yeah brother... This entire situation has sent me backwards with women. I have not even gone on a date in 7 months. Hell, haven't even touched a girl in seven months. The longest I have ever gone since 17 years old. The weird thing is, I don't even WANT to. Honestly. I buzzed my head to a six these last two weeks and, despite the see through appearance, I look good and feel better than I have in years. My confidence is even back to some extent. Walking around in wind and rain and in public with no concealers or hair spray. STILL, I don't have much of an urge to see women. My sex drive is high as usual, but I don't even really want to f*ck around. Going through this has jaded me towards them. I give it all in a relationship and they just try to slowly devour my soul like needy parasites, or termites seeking the weakest part of the wood, so they can infiltrate it. No offense to women at all, I do indeed have the deepest respect and love my Mother and Sister more than anyone in this world. I just think it's a societal evolution for them to want to find any weakness they can and exploit the f*ck out of it.

that being said, I have my first date in seven-eight months this next weekend and she seems amazing and kind. She's very attractive as well. I told her straight up, I just want to be friends for a while. I am just going to be myself. No f*cking concealers, no bullsh*t. I will never mention hair loss again. It's an internal struggle and needs to remain that way. This forum is the only place I shall seek any verbal relief.

 

[buckthorn]

How can I ever trust women again after going through that sh*t?

I struggle with the same issue, and I never went through something that horrible and heart wrenching. I suppose it's three choices,
1) f*ck around a lot and try to never get attached. Live a life void of any serious relationship 2) become a f*cking monk and don't even look at women or 3) understand that there are many women out there that would have taken a more compassionate approach than your sh*tty ex. She is a straight up b*tch.

 

[buckthorn]

I struggle with the same issue, and I never went through something that horrible and heart wrenching. I suppose it's three choices,
1) f*ck around a lot and try to never get attached. Live a life void of any serious relationship 2) become a f*cking monk and don't even look at women or 3) understand that there are many women out there that would have taken a more compassionate approach than your sh*tty ex. She is a straight up b*tch.

either way, I could lose all my limbs in a horrible tragedy (knock on wood) and still, would never expose my mental weakness to a woman. You could talk about it maybe once. The next time, she will have a nice long phone convo with her bff regarding, "what a whiney b*tch you are". Then twenty minutes later go on for hours about how her life is over because she has a grey hair, or because the stylist cut it too short. So... f*ck it. I am done.

 

[Zarko]

Straight up, most women are emotionally unstable and mentally deficient. Outside of a professional setting where I dealt with (mostly older) women as a customer, student, or patient, I've only known a couple on a personal level who were worth two shits. Their brains are just so different from ours and so rattled and messed up that to me it borders on saying women are intellectually and behaviorally challenged at birth. How can they make sense to you when they can't even understand themselves? But I think this is mostly a Western thing because women have absolute freedom here and obviously can't handle it. Women where I come from, or from traditional societies in general are a lot less bitchy, even the attractive ones (unless they've been Westernized). My relationship with any girl here depends on my ability to remain completely independent and carefree. I realized after 50+ failures that I've never met a girl who tried to prioritize or take care of me when I did the same. They're all there to enjoy the novelty and fireworks while they last and then dump you on your *** the minute things get boring. The only way it would be different is if you looked like a model, in which case they're desperate to hold onto you even if you destroy their lives. I'd never take a girl here seriously again and I'm looking forward to getting married back home the traditional way, which even a few months ago I would never have considered.

On a side note, as long as you never invest in them emotionally women can be pretty awesome to be around. But man is both a logical and emotional creature.

 

[xetudor]

But building something with a man who cares about her? "Woh! I'm not ready for that!"

I once heard a grown *** married woman pregnant with her second child say she wished she tried more dicks before getting married and that she feels sorry for girls that hurry to marry because they miss out.

 

[I.D WALKER]

I once heard a grown *** married woman pregnant with her second child say she wished she tried more dicks before getting married..

Well Miss., whatever stopped you in the first place?
To some extent I can understand why she might occasionally yearn for her glorious bygone days of freedom. I also perfectly realize that this "feeling"is not gender exclusive.
However, were I her husband/partner and this incident was revealed to me, I would be concerned why she felt it was necessary and moreover beneficial to verbalize this sentiment outside closed doors,
and quickly begin to question her trustworthiness.

 

[hellouser]

First mistake: don't tell her, unless she brings it up, that's how I do.

If she brings it up, act like it's no big deal, do not tell her anything about how it makes you depressed.

If you do, all women hear is: "I'm weak, feel sorry for me, I'm afraid! Why do people hate me because I'm bald?!"

It will dry her up, and she'll end up losing respect for you. You just can't talk about your insecurities with a woman.

And of course she will say it's no big deal, and that she doesn't notice. They're masters at manipulation.

Watch what they do, she will probably leave you at a point now that you've shared that with her.

It's a big mistake, it took me a lot of (failed) relationships to get it. Don't ever appear weak in front of your girlfriend.

Quoting for truth.

 

[shookwun]

Never give women ammo to use against you. Pick your battles accordingly.


Never expose your weakness and let her exploit you. Even if it hurts, act like it is not a big deal. Once she realises you are a walking tampon she will control the sh*t out of you.

 

[buckthorn]

Once she realises you are a walking tampon she will control the sh*t out of you.

hahaha... dench!! new signature??

 

[Hairon]

Indeed, some people ask me how I can manage 4 different girls at the same time. Easy, like you said, girls these days, they have complete freedom, infinite options, so they get bored easily and always think excitement is around the corner.

One of them texted me today saying she won't be available this week because of work, it's probably true, but you see what today's women priorities are. Career, going places, her dreams! But building something with a man who cares about her? "Woh! I'm not ready for that!"

It's getting comical at this point, 4 girlfriends and the majority of them will probably drift away because... Because what? Is it me? Since 1 girl out of the 4 is crazy about me, and all of them keep laughing when we meet, tell me I'm crazy and they love it, compliment me about my performance in bed (yeah I know, but it's the case), besides that, I have my sh*t together etc... So I really don't think it's about me, that I'm not good enough or something, women these days seem to treat men like entertainment, while giving it all to their boss, their career, their "life projects".

Would it be different if I was conventionally handsome, are ordinary guys doomed with women no matter what they do? But yeah, seeing this, I just cannot invest myself emotionally, and when you do that, it's great, you get pleasant dates, sex, affection... But it's just sad to see them fade away because society told them to focus on their job and "their dreams". Women are herd creatures, and many of them are lost, miserable and have psychological problems. It's no wonder that 25% of American women take psychiatric drugs.

Ah well, we're doing what we can with what we have. There's nothing you can do to make sure a woman will stay with you these days.

why exactly is it okay for men to focus on their career, going places, and their dreams, but it's not okay for women?
in what age do you live in that women must worship their man, stay at home and take care of their children? it doesn't work like that anymore
just like men focus on their dreams and job, women want to as well.

so it's ok for you to prioritize your work and dreams over some woman but it's not ok for them to do that over a man?
yeah dude, they probably wouldn't prioritize their jobs and dreams if they were dating a model looking man, and they would probably put them first thing in their priority list, but you would do the same if you dated a model looking woman.

 

[jd_uk]

yeah dude, they probably wouldn't prioritize their jobs and dreams if they were dating a model looking man, and they would probably put them first thing in their priority list, but you would do the same if you dated a model looking woman.

I've realised that people here way overestimate the importance of looks sometimes. I've experienced so many times women leaving their 'handsome' looking boyfriends because the relationship wasn't right. I've even experienced women leave their handsome boyfriends for less 'good looking' guys. I mean, even as a guy I know that what I find attractive in a woman these days goes way beyond her being stereo typically beautiful.

 

[Hairon]

I've realised that people here way overestimate the importance of looks sometimes. I've experienced so many times women leaving their 'handsome' looking boyfriends because the relationship wasn't right. I've even experienced women leave their handsome boyfriends for less 'good looking' guys. I mean, even as a guy I know that what I find attractive in a woman these days goes way beyond her being stereo typically beautiful.

I disagree with many things Fred, I wouldn't say looks is everything, but looks is almost everything, in that I believe as well. if you looked like a model, these exampled you just brought, wouldn't happen that often, if at all.
someone said it above me, that if you women will grasp on to gorgeous looking men even if they destroyed their life, is almost 100% true.

being very good looking you'll have women chasing you non-stop, and in a relationship they will be all over you, and you wouldn't even have to do anything in return, barely invest anything, and they will still be all over you begging for your attention, whereas for the average looking man and below, you have to invest a lot in the relationship and get so little in return from the woman, with that I also agree 100%.

very good looking= very little work and effort and tons of gains (from women)

average and below= a lot of work and effort and very little gain (from women)

 

[jd_uk]

I disagree with many things Fred, I wouldn't say looks is everything, but looks is almost everything, in that I believe as well. if you looked like a model, these exampled you just brought, wouldn't happen that often, if at all.
someone said it above me, that if you women will grasp on to gorgeous looking men even if they destroyed their life, is almost 100% true.

being very good looking you'll have women chasing you non-stop, and in a relationship they will be all over you, and you wouldn't even have to do anything in return, barely invest anything, and they will still be all over you begging for your attention, whereas for the average looking man and below, you have to invest a lot in the relationship and get so little in return from the woman, with that I also agree 100%.

very good looking= very little work and effort and tons of gains (from women)

average and below= a lot of work and effort and very little gain (from women)

looks help for sure, but I know that I'm not as good looking as guys who's girlfriends have shown interest in me (and no I don't act on that but I know there are so many things other than looks' which are part of attraction).

 

[Hairon]

looks help for sure, but I know that I'm not as good looking as guys who's girlfriends have shown interest in me (and no I don't act on that but I know there are so many things other than looks' which are part of attraction).

I agree but I also disagree, there are other many things other than looks which are part of attraction, but they are not pure physical attraction, and they do not last either.
such as personality- you can be attracted to it, but that sort of attraction will fade away the more you know the person, get used to them, and get the routine and boredom that strikes every couple, then they no longer are special to your eyes, you're too used to them and take them for granted. and then that attraction to their personality fades away.

But physical attraction, which is based entirely on looks, smell, and just physical attributes, never goes away, and could get sick of the person, but their body and face will keep turning you on, that never changes.

That's why the core requirement and the must have requirement in dating and relationships is to make sure there is physical attraction, I'm not saying you gotta be gorgeous looking, just that you have to make sure the girl is physically attracted to you.
trust me, you don't want to be with a girl because she is attracted to your personality, you don't want to be with a girl who talks about how you grew on her or that at first she wasn't so much into you but your personality took over her- that's a big NO. that always ends with her dumping you in the end. I assure you.

so yeah looks is almost everything, the better looking you are simply means more girls will be physically attracted to you.

 

[jd_uk]

I agree but I also disagree, there are other many things other than looks which are part of attraction, but they are not pure physical attraction, and they do not last either.
such as personality- you can be attracted to it, but that sort of attraction will fade away the more you know the person, get used to them, and get the routine and boredom that strikes every couple, then they no longer are special to your eyes, you're too used to them and take them for granted. and then that attraction to their personality fades away.

But physical attraction, which is based entirely on looks, smell, and just physical attributes, never goes away, and could get sick of the person, but their body and face will keep turning you on, that never changes.

That's why the core requirement and the must have requirement in dating and relationships is to make sure there is physical attraction, I'm not saying you gotta be gorgeous looking, just that you have to make sure the girl is physically attracted to you.
trust me, you don't want to be with a girl because she is attracted to your personality, you don't want to be with a girl who talks about how you grew on her or that at first she wasn't so much into you but your personality took over her- that's a big NO. that always ends with her dumping you in the end. I assure you.

so yeah looks is almost everything, the better looking you are simply means more girls will be physically attracted to you.

See I have a different perspective in ways...again, I'll never say that looks doesn't play a part, but I think personality and character keeps people together and often no matter how stereotypically beautiful your partner is you can get 'bored' of that same phsyicality. the best sex I ever have had was with my ex girlfriend who wasn't the most beautiful woman (she actually gained weight due to health issues), but our sex was so mentally stimulating...i sometimes wonder if I would ever have that with someone else. And besides, looks fade over time for everybody. Nobody is exempt from ageing - sure, you can do things like woking out etc to negate it but eventually the grey hairs, the balding, the wrinkles and saggy skin will catch up with you.

 

[blackg]

Never give women ammo to use against you. Pick your battles accordingly.


Once she realises you are a walking tampon...

Haha, this was one of your better lines.

 

[kj6723]

So in the midst of all this talk, it looks like I may be about to dip my feet into the dating pool again after an extended hiatus. Since breaking things off with a female about a year or so ago, I haven't touched a woman or even really attempted to put myself out there at all, a combination of a self-esteem crash over my hair as well as some other bullsh*t in my life.

Anyway, my hair is currently at a length on top that I actually feel somewhat at ease with the way I can style it to go out without a hat on, and I'm also finally finding some peace with other areas in my life, so the other night I went out to socialize a bit, and I met this girl who is the good friend of a (female) friend of mine. She's attractive, like a 7-7.5/10 or so, and I was pretty sure there was a mutual vibe, so I decided to follow up with some texts the next couple days, and now it's looking like I may be hanging out with her later this week.

I'm actually way more concerned with my ring-rust, and how long it's been since I've touched a woman or even kissed one, than I am over her noticing anything wrong with my hair, as I'm pretty sure she has no idea I'm a baldite.