do women even like buzzcuts?

[Dench57]

And you know what? It isn't that bad!

Yeah as EvilLocks said above, I'm confused now. This flies in the face of pretty much everything you've ever posted about balding/being bald.

 

[Wolf Pack]

Admit that it must feel good to sit on your low Norwood high horse and look down on us balding peasants, laughing at the fact that yes, maybe we want to hear it's not that bad.

Therapy

And you know what? It isn't that bad! You know how I know this? I've been bald! You haven't. You also want reassurance that being bald must be the end of the world if you look like me.

I don't want reassurance from you especially. That be worth nothing to me. I have my cousin, a person right next to me in his 40s. His battle with treatment and now shaving sly. His refusal to have a transplant due to not getting the look he wants. He always worked out and dressed well, not pale. I knew about all this bald stuff BEFORE I came on the forum. I explained being bald is not a loser although your overall attraction decreases - fact. Identity goes - fact. You can spend your life on a computer getting reassurance from people but it doesn't change that. These facts apply to the majority of white and asians in particular which is why we treat our hair loss and spend time on here. Secondly, I am not going to be bald as you, I know it's hard for you to understand this or accept but I have explained why. You get pleasure from seeing people go bald as you have mentioned yourself probably because you lost your hair so young - it's still no excuse though. I don't hate fullheads or bald people, discriminate in any way, not in the real sense of the word discrimination. Perhaps look up the legal meaning of discrimination. No, it's not when a girl says I like hair.

The point is I like reading from people who are realists. Off the top of my head these come to mind. Swing, not cool, agustin, exodus, cf, goldenmane, recedingnyt, shookwun e.t.c. They couldn't be more different in terms of their own lives, hair, height, looks. So yes, it's nothing to do with being bald. Real talk matters at the end of the day.

As cf said for uncomfortable man it's harder to have little hair like you as he is good looking.

Nothing you write can be taken seriously. One minute you ended up sectioned in a Psychiatric hospital for being bald, now it's "just hair." Like I said you're fluctuating between the stages of grief always for eternity.

An example is goldenmane once posted medium hair style is most attractive to girls. Not shaved or long which have a limited niche. The guy has long hair himself because he likes that look and identifies with it, fair play! But he is not biased in his observations. That's why I like reading his posts for example. Same applies to the other guys. Exodus and I may have got off on the wrong foot BUT he is actually on the mark with what he says when he is up to it. I actually wish him nothing but the best with his transplant because he is a nice guy who was dealt a cruel hand.

From reading on here I feel I know some people a bit. If hair loss is no longer a big deal for you it's probably because you never had full hair in your prime adult life, balding at 16. Plus you're average looking at best. Add delusion and mental health into it and you can see why you are incapable of a mature discussion on hair loss and going from one extreme to another. How can you be taken seriously? Honestly, some members on slybaldguys have truly let go of their hair loss, I believe them when I read it. Same for my cousin. It is possible to be over hair loss for sure. Not the case with you. This is why from now on my discussions will be limited with you because they just end up slanging matches about irrelevant things like "I am insecure of being bald so projecting it." You've had these slanging matches with most people and it adds no value.

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Yeah as EvilLocks said above, I'm confused now. This flies in the face of pretty much everything you've ever posted about balding/being bald.

Thanks! Exactly what I meant. And I like reading your posts. I used to feel sorry for FTB but then when he began wishing misery on his own relatives and forum members I saw a bad side to him.

 

[Wolf Pack]

And I'll admit that contribution is great. Which is why when complaints have come about you bullying people/delusion I have always resisted a ban. It's because you have had serious hair loss, transplant and you do give advice out to newbies. Plus I know you like coming on here and I'll admit the place is not the same without you. There is no true colour. Read the posts above and see the people that rarely get complaints, they have hair or no hair. It makes no difference to an overall opinion of that person. I didn't attack your looks I described them as average. You can see enough from the side and front. It's not just my opinion. Anyway my point more was that you have accepted your hair loss due to the circumstances. It's not the same for everyone.

Swingline once said it feels like there are 3 different Freds. It's kind of true. I suppose it will never change so I will let you be.

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How could I not be? If you had experienced true baldness, you would completely understand this. Your self-esteem fluctuates because the perception of yourself is not always the same.

It can vary with the lightning of a room (identity is the problem) or with a remark some guy will make (other people are the problem).

There are moments when I think I look good, others not so much, and sometimes I feel horrible, but these moments have become extremely rare since my hair transplant.

The only way to resolve this would be a full-blow cure that would give me all my hair back. Of course we all know this isn't possible.

Of course your self-perception is never going to fluctuate Wolf Pack, you're close to a full head of hair! No matter the situation or lightning, you will still be you.

If you made more mature insightful posts like this, they would be taken more seriously and people could debate and benefit from reading. You're an intelligent guy and have read a lot too about life in general. For what it's worth, your hair is clearly not perfect, but you're in a better position than before. Considering how bad it felt for you before hand, there is an improvement and a frame. I also don't notice your crown balding despite it being advanced. Probably because it is buzzed down and good skin/hair contrast. I don't think you need to rush for a 2nd transplant any time soon.

You should try to remember the complements that people say and just accept it's not perfect but it's better.

 

[Wolf Pack]

You should try growing it out, some length could help, even if it's a bit. Experiment! Sometimes I also wonder with your buzz cut whether a darker hair colour (dye) would help. I know it will make your scalp stand out more BUT it also emphasises that you have hair follicles and hair. It would blend in less with your skin tone. Certainly, now you're past the 1 year mark of your transplant, I would experiment a bit.

I don't notice your crown at all, only on closer inspection. Actually once you sort the crown out, then you could consider the hair colour thing. Might not be good right now as it will make it stand out more.

 

[xetudor]

Thank you. I agree it's not perfect, especially with my severely balding crown now, but yes, I looked way worse with an infinite forehead.

There is something about that infinite forehead that puts people off. I have no idea why. And you can't blame the media. People were making fun of bald people since forever.

 

[swingline747]

Swingline once said it feels like there are 3 different Freds. It's kind of true. I suppose it will never change so I will let you be.

Fred reminds me of one of my good friends/ex guitarist. When we met him (my group of musician buddies at the time) we listened to his stories and talks and were like "yea this guy gets around, cool"

Then they stopped adding up and making sense. One contradicted the other, some made zero probable sense, others people just denied they even knew him. We realized the kid was a pathological liar. We didnt hate him for it, in fact we just turned it into a positive. We made it a game of who could catch him out first, we took pots on whether "this" story was real or not. We would become ADDICTED to delving into the mystery of his being lol.

This is honestly how I view Fred. There are a lot of contradictions in his statements. Many can be attributed to growing and maturing but he never states that. He has the view my GF does where its simply "I NEVER SAID THAT", but if you dig enough youll find it for proof. Just none of us are interested. We all say contradictory things depending on our moods or a current conversation, because we all have this ingrained attitude to win our debate we built in our heads. There is no winning, just remember that. Have a decent debate, angry sounding things might be typed but with no tone in a voice just roll it off your back. As stated Ive said very nasty depressing stuff, very defeatist stuff. I usually follow it up with "im in a mood" or "im off my meds" which is a legitimate statement since getting on and off your meds seriously can F with your logical thinking.
Either way, just take what Fred says with a grain of salt (like anyone online, me included), draw what you need from it to better yourself, and if you can catch the mother fuqer out (not fred but anyone) do it because its just FUN AS HELL!
Either way if you get buggered by someone online then there is NO WAY you can handle the real world.

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I'm already thinking about a way to get my second hair transplant without her knowing.

dont even worry, just go do it without mentioning it and then when she asks what happened, tell her.
No reason to hide it. EVERY time Im at my follow up (3mo, 6mo, etc) there are guys there with their girlfriends. On my way out of the last I "bro" commended a guy with a thumbs up because he looked so down and embarrassed. We need to STOP being embarrassed and trying to hide it. You know how many people Ive told I had one, theres no shame in my game!

 

[swingline747]

The thing is, I never lie. So I don't understand why you think my posts are contradictory.

What I do have is a self-esteem problem due to the way my father treated me all my life.

So one time, I could feel great about myself, and at another time, I will paint all my life experiences in a bad way.

That's what's confusing I think. One time, I seem to get a lot of girls, and another, I seem to be forever alone.

I have a friend who's a pathological liar. Mostly about girls. But it's the same, we laugh about it.

ONly think things are contradictory because in one post youll scream about the debauchery of how bald guys are treated, how girlfriends have attacked your baldness, men at bars almost beat you up and cald you bald then in a week youll say something like "oh its not as big of a deal to most people aside yourself". Next time just enforce your opinion changed instead of challenging when someone brings that up. When I first came here you were stead fast AGAINST hair transplants, do you remember that. Me and you had a conversation, you did not think the results would be good enough to risk it. You kept saying other Drs said not to bother. You JUST cancelled another appointment/consult. I made fun of you about it and then like a week later you got your transplant. Im NOT saying you got it because of me, Im just trying to refresh your mind. You were trying to talk me out of getting mine. Now you are totally for hair transplants and bash people who have the old freds POV. Instead tell them how you used to feel the same way and it you bit the bullet and did it. Dont tout what an expert you are on them and how you took some HUGE step in your life cause youre some strong willed person who always makes the best desicions. Not saying you ARE saying that, just comes off that way in some posts, same way as I come off as a HUGE *** hole.

In the same fashion we have the same mental outlooks and deficiencies. Me and my siblings grew up with a pretty physically abusive mother and depressed weak father who did nothing but b**ch and moan about life and how the world was unfair and NOTHING you do can change it.
Then when they finally divorced me and my brother went from our all poor minority home town to living with our aunt in a rich town and we were the super poor kids. Either way we were the outcasts and crapped on by everyone, for being white then to being poor.

I have the same mental breaks, and can be fantastic one minute and a raving swinging lunatic the next. As good as my brother looks we both still suffer BDD and extremely low self esteem. But these are not reasons to ever be a hypocrite or going to the UCman convo yesterday, weak. Only reason I tell him to buck up and take control is that his kid WILL end up like me and my brother if he acts the way he does here at home with the comfort of his wife.

 

[swingline747]

Here: http://www.hairlosstalk.com/interact/showthread.php/71751-Seeking-for-honest-opinions-should-I-do-it

I know. People change their minds. Don't we have a right to evolve?

I've never understood this. People dig up posts from 2011 and say: "See, you're a two-faced bastard!"

I just changed my mind.

I remember our argument. You omit why I told you not to do it: your surgeon was virtually unknown.

I told you there was a lot more chances it would go wrong and that you might end up dissatisfied.

It seems I was right, wasn't I? Anyway, I'm glad your second hair transplant turned out alright.

My problem with the first one wasnt surgeon fault. Im convinced by that, but not my fault either. Just bad luck, which IM used to. The second one going SO right is testament to that. One thing that makes me know this as well is STILL when I ask him what happened he says "I have no clue". Hes not making excuses, hes not blaming me, hes not NOT saying something might have went wrong. Also the clinic was virtually an unknown but Dr Tan was working in NYC for over a decade doing cosmetic surgery before opening his own business. You have no idea how many times Dr's have told me "I dont know why this" in my life.
And yes you were actually against hair transplants in general. That was the convo that came prior to the one where you were badgering me and I brought up how you cancelled yet ANOTHER procedure.
Im glad yours went well to, but in future dont act like you were so sure of yourself going in, none of us are, or ever will be.

 

[DannyBoyy]

How i saw Freds post when he said on the lines of "im fine now" dont mean he wasnt took to that ward way back when, im fine now but you should of seen me, every reflection i looked in, in denial about it getting worse, also denial about the hairstyle i had to hide my baldness aswell, point is sure im fine now but once upon a time i wasnt, thats how i saw Freds post.

 

[swingline747]

You can never know. Even De Reys has one case of a guy that had not one, but two failed hair transplants with him. It just didn't take, the hair didn't grow.

which is what I think happened to me. I think it was a mix of stress, medications, physcial exertion, etc etc. Hey maybe someone sneezed on one graft and it caused an infection, who knows. My only questionable link is the ONLY areas that didnt grow well and got infected were the temples where there was just NO Hair. I would think if it was surgeon fault (100%) my entire area would have been infected. On that same note, his surprise and attentiveness to my issues eased me that this was just not something he ever experienced. He said there was one other guy who had to have a follow up but he KNEW the guy was putting some concealer on the transplanted area to hide it right away.
I like Tan, my GF actually loves the guy, and I would recommend him. I cant say much for his counter part Welter as I have little experience with him, and I told that to Tan as well. I think Welter is the pretty full head white face they use for the site and sales but really Tan is the workhorse who meets with people on weekends, nights, hell the guy even offered to pick me up from the train station when I was having the issues so I wouldnt have to drive my car.

Either way Im getting off topic. Ive said you can have the worst surgeon who get a lucky few to fill his book, or the best who has one bad one who haunts him forever. Its a crap shoot and mainly because SO FEW guys talk about this and their experiences. If it comes out good you hide it and act like its natural, if it comes out bad then your embarrassed and usually wont admit it. I just wish more guys were comfortable talking about it so guys like you and me could make better informed decisions.
These guys always have consultations and follow ups when Im there and no one even wants to look each other in the eyes except me. Its like "nope, no hair transplant here, just getting my prostate exam, yup good ol finger in my butt, I WOULD NEVER get a hair transplant".
Just stop people (not you guys). Being a man is sometimes taking action and NOT accepting fate, not always grinning and bearing your circumstances.

In our own ways were both fortunate through misfortune

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How i saw Freds post when he said on the lines of "im fine now" dont mean he wasnt took to that ward way back when, im fine now but you should of seen me, every reflection i looked in, in denial about it getting worse, also denial about the hairstyle i had to hide my baldness aswell, point is sure im fine now but once upon a time i wasnt, thats how i saw Freds post.

I dont remember seeing the "im fine now" Id have to re read that.

also dont ever think Im attacking anyone, especially fred. Like I said its a game and its fun. this is the internet. take everything with a grain of salt.

 

[DannyBoyy]

I dont remember seeing the "im fine now" Id have to re read that.

also dont ever think Im attacking anyone, especially fred. Like I said its a game and its fun. this is the internet. take everything with a grain of salt.

I said "on the lines of" as in he said something similar.

 

[swingline747]

I said "on the lines of" as in he said something similar.

ah

 

[EvilLocks]

ONly think things are contradictory because in one post youll scream about the debauchery of how bald guys are treated, how girlfriends have attacked your baldness, men at bars almost beat you up and cald you bald then in a week youll say something like "oh its not as big of a deal to most people aside yourself"

Yeah, this was what I was talking about. Not long ago I've seen Fred talking about baldness like it's the end of the world (which it is in my opinion), and next he starts talking about it like it's no big deal. "Most people won't even notice!" And then I remember everything he has told about how people have treated him due to his baldness and how depressed he's been. It's just confusing.

 

[shookwun]

Ask cancet patients how they feel. the biggest and most depressing thing about cancer was loosing theit hair. Imagine THAT, everything else was not even marginally close to though psychological and physics problem s associated with hair loss.


Fred quoted this before

 

[DannyBoyy]

In Freds defense, i cant say what he is thinking for obvious reasons, but what if he just changed his mind? like lets say 2 months ago he hated it blah blah, now he dont see it as bad or whatever. Not like peoples minds cant change.

 

[LeBronJames]

Yeah, this was what I was talking about. Not long ago I've seen Fred talking about baldness like it's the end of the world (which it is in my opinion), and next he starts talking about it like it's no big deal. "Most people won't even notice!" And then I remember everything he has told about how people have treated him due to his baldness and how depressed he's been. It's just confusing.

Sophists encouraged their students to use a certain method: refute your opponent, no matter what.
This is how the the saying originated: "To Argue for the Sake of Argument."
Fred can be described as this. As eristic.

 

[swingline747]

Yeah, this was what I was talking about. Not long ago I've seen Fred talking about baldness like it's the end of the world (which it is in my opinion), and next he starts talking about it like it's no big deal. "Most people won't even notice!" And then I remember everything he has told about how people have treated him due to his baldness and how depressed he's been. It's just confusing.

I will say look at it from THIS POV as well. He really IS physically a "changed man" now. I think the thought mentality shifts a bit when you dont see it as "your problem" as much anymore lol. I wont say Im not guilty of this ATM either.
Where we would originally be so pissed it would affect our opinions and state of being, now maybe we shrug it off some and push that on others as well. Who knows.
Dont know if that makes sense.

 

[EvilLocks]

In Freds defense, i cant say what he is thinking for obvious reasons, but what if he just changed his mind? like lets say 2 months ago he hated it blah blah, now he dont see it as bad or whatever. Not like peoples minds cant change.

He changed his mind about how people treated him because of his hair loss, how people in a bar sang "he has no hairrrr!", or how he was dumped for NW1's because of his hair loss? Those things actually happened, they came straight from his mouth. Truth is he's always told how horrible it is being a man with hair loss at a young age, so when he suddenly changes his mind to "it's not that big of a deal!" it almost seems like a split personality. Sure, people can change their minds about things, but to go from "hair loss is the worst thing that can happen!" to "it's not that bad!" in a short period of time, is almost funny. So unless he's forgotten how it was to be a bald man due to his transplant, I don't buy it.

 

[EvilLocks]

I understand what you are saying. Things are good in my life right now, very good. They've never been better in fact.

So in times like these, it's easy to forget how tough it was in darker times. And to be honest, you kind of want to forget.

Yeah I get that, I'd want to forget as well if I escaped this horror. But at the same time you shouldn't forget where you came from, and remembering that will make you appreciate life more, so I hope you don't forget completely. I don't want to attack you because truth be told I like you, but I hope you can understand where I'm coming from when I say it's weird how you suddenly change your mind like that.

 

[EvilLocks]

You're right. Looking back, I still can't believe how far I have gone.

I have these moments filled with so much joy I want to cry. I never thought I would live moments like these again.

Moments that aren't tainted by a thought about my bald head anymore.

LeBronJames is right too. I like to contradict for the sake of contradicting, I do that with my father all the time.

I didn't change my mind. I truly believe what I wrote, people who care and put you down for being bald are a minority.

I've had more girlfriends who didn't care at all than ones who cared and put me down. The majority of people I met when I was bald were cool about it.

I don't think even uncomfortable man is mocked day in day out. Unfortunately, the bad experiences, even there were few, are the ones you remember the most.

I'm happy for you (and a bit jealous lol), and I really think you deserve to be happy after all the crap you've been through that wasn't your fault (baldness never is). I just hope you don't join the "NW2 and under"-crew who are ignorant to the impact of baldess, because I could truly relate to your feelings about baldness that you've expressed so many times before. For me, it's no secret to most of you that I think baldness is among the worst things that could ever happen, I stand by that. I used to get the feeling that you shared the same outlook, but I guess things have changed.

Anyway, I both agree and disagree when you say most people don't care about baldness. I am a woman and I can speak for very many women when I say baldness is an unattractive trait. Even if a woman says she doesn't care, chances are that she does deep down, and would rather prefer a NW1-2. Also baldness is a trait that people like to put you down for, because it makes them feel better than you for having something you don't. It makes them inferior. On the other side, I agree that most people won't openly attack you for being bald. I don't think most people are "Norwood-spotters" either as most are too caught up with themselves and their own life to notice balding (unless they saw a balding girl like me, as that is rare). Still baldness puts you at a great disadvantage in life, and in a world where looks matter so much. It's no secret that baldness makes you a lot more unattractive, you must admit that.