Ever Wanted To Give Up/withdraw From Society?

[resu]

My suggestion would be for you to check some of Jordan Peterson's videos on youtube about happiness, jobs, family, women and their careers and so forth.

 

[Xander94]

Marriage is actually very important to the Abrahamic religions.

I was at a Jewish wedding recently. We heard that the souls of the Husband and Wife were actually together prior to birth, that they got separated at birth. Marriage is when they join back together.

A lot of the old testament is a description of whose copulating with who.

It's actually not a great refuge for incels.

Marriage is not required Jesus only gave it to humans for comfort. You replace the value of virginity with prudence.

Anyway as many of you know I follow orthodoxy I'm not logical christian inquisition like catholics and protestants.

It's sad that many of you only know christianity from these false heresies

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Who cares where our feelings come from? To me they are still just as real and meaningful even if they are reducible to physiological responses to something or other. I feel fortunate that I'm not a broke-brained autist, that I can actually appreciate these things.

Feelings make us human.

 

[Janko]

Feelings make us human.

I remember, that I read in a book (Emotional intelligence), that shows how true this is. It is about 2 years though so I maybe want be 100% right and I am no expert in medical field.
Shortly. Hypothalamus is a part of a brain, that sends emotional senses. There was a guy whose part of hypothalamus was removed and he was unable to sense emotions. He rejected everyone he knew and had no passion. Completely isolated himself and had interest in nothing. People described him as a doll or a robot. I will try to find that study in a book.
BTW. Xander I think you would learn a lot from it.(emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman).
And to your words about relationships. I saw the world same as you. Even though I had a gf I liked, but I did not loved her. Once you will meet a person, that you will truly love and she will truly love you it is like different dimension. Somehow you can talk even without words. You don´t communicate. You connect. You are one. It is strange to give someone so much power over you and in the same time hold that power over the same person. The both side vulnerability. Magical.

 

[Patrick_Bateman]

Lol at religion. We are nothing more than advanced apes.

 

[Medina]

Marriage is not required Jesus only gave it to humans for comfort. You replace the value of virginity with prudence.

Anyway as many of you know I follow orthodoxy I'm not logical christian inquisition like catholics and protestants.

It's sad that many of you only know christianity from these false heresies

Jesus gave humans nothing. I am here because my dad fucked my mom, probably on a drunken whim

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I'd love for for Zircon to read some Antonio Damasio, for example Descartes Error, and to discuss it with us.

 

[Xander94]

Lol at religion. We are nothing more than advanced apes.

Nothing more than a bunch of atoms held together by chemical energy. Atomic core held together by nuclear energy but that's the built world. The unbuilt world is another story

 

[Xander94]

Jesus gave humans nothing. I am here because my dad fucked my mom, probably on a drunken whim

He gave you freedom to make choices

 

[Janko]

There is no such thing as emotional intelligence:

http://snip.ly/ldm7m#http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9825531

https://www.researchgate.net/public...od_Artifacts_and_Lack_of_Incremental_Validity

I must find that book and give hear quotation. I even think, that this study was there too. The study is from 1998 though.
I am sorry, that I can´t be more specific, but the book is not about becoming enormous expert in handling your emotions etc. more about understanding them. The first part is scientific research about this field. Also there is part about history of research in this field and there is written how they tested 3 indicators, then more and more. I won´t write more, because I don´t remember it precisely, but tomorrow I will find it and rewrite some parts of it.

 

[Medina]

He gave you freedom to make choices

Aww that was nice of him

Dude that is such bullshit, come on

Every living thing has a choice

Mostly driven by extinct

 

[pjhair]

Who cares where our feelings come from? To me they are still just as real and meaningful even if they are reducible to physiological responses to something or other. I feel fortunate that I'm not a broke-brained autist, that I can actually appreciate these things.

True. I was reading an article in which the author asks, Does the knowledge of chemical constituents of chocolate take away our joy of eating chocolate? Reducing complex matter or feelings to their simpler forms doesn't take away their beauty. The fact that awe that art and music evoke in us are merely "electrical signals" in our brain doesn't make art or music meaningless. Complex software applications doing all sorts of wonderful things are internally nothing but a sequence of 0's and 1's. In fact, there is something amazing about taking something so simple and converting in something so marvelous.

 

[blackg]

Nah, I feel the complete opposite of what you're feeling right now.

Did you choose your goals or did you pursue what you thought was right?

I say this because you were quite vocal about how you developed your career, how you bought real estate like the tycoon you are. "This is what winners do Billy! And if you don't get that, well you're a loser!" That's the vibe I got from you anyway.

People often mock me for my career choices or the fact that I appear to be lazy, but every time they do that, I tell myself that I'm doing something right.

I get like one golden job opportunities every week, I could do things yet I don't pull the trigger, because I know deep down that I shouldn't do it, I really believe this, while many people around me are telling me I am foolish.

I like to think that I know exactly what I'm doing, because I know myself better than other people ever will, I know what's good for me and what will make me more content with myself in the future, what will give my life meaning and bring me some happiness, or at least the least amount of suffering possible.

I cannot say this enough: I love my life right now. Sure it has his minor challenges and setbacks every day, and there are a few tragedies occurring around me, but seriously, when you have:

- A loving girlfriend
- Great friends
- A job in which you feel happy and valued
- A reflection that you like in the mirror
- Hobbies that you truly enjoy and give your life meaning
- Personal goals (and I mean truly personal)

It's close to impossible to be unhappy.

A lot of people don't get much of my choices but they can see that I at least have integrity so they respect that.

Some people will tell me that I deserve a better-looking girlfriend, that my job and my company are ridiculous for someone who has so much potential, that it was foolish to get all these looksmaxing operations (even my girlfriend will mock the fact that I whiten my teeth), that I like to play video games and watch entertainment (haha, such a time waste when you could spend time doing something productive! Uh...), and finally, that my goals in life are cliché and that I should dream bigger.

Only yesterday, my best friend tried to get me into this real estate deal "dude, don't you want to make a bit more money?!"

No I don't. Yes, I just want to fill my time with playing video games, playing my sh*t guitar, watching entertainment, all while slowly advancing my so-called unambitious career in my supposedly ridiculous company while I start a family with my looksmatched girlfriend.

On the outside, my life will seem quite unspectacular, but I think people are not living the life that they truly want and that would really be good for them because they don't aim low enough (yeah you read that right).

They think a simple life is beneath them. Do you believe that?

You're onto something with that idea of starting a family. Do it!

Well said, WPB. I respect a humble man. Surprisingly, others don't.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Every day

Xander, you of all people have the most advantage and you don't even know it. You are so clueless to even realize it. I know what its like to be clueless and insecure about my looks( suffered from acne and it destroyed my self esteem and was super skinny and whimpy looking) so my advice is realize you will never be a chad but you can still think you are and get out and experience women or just people.

My advice is since you need some help, and this forum is not convincing enough, is to read on how to "captivate" people in general. You need to listen to the audiobook Captivate:The Science of Succeeding with People by Vanessa Van Edwards. She kind of reminds me of a former high school cheerleader captain but she does have some good hacks for people. Most of her book is based on studies she performed herself but its definitely a start for you. You have nothing better to do at this point and listening to us has gone in one ear and out the other. I wish I had that book when I was in your position but since I went to college for 8 years, I kind of learned things out in the field as I did not have forums to read or people like Johnson, Fred or Zircon to guide me in person. Social media was nonexistent so you had to survive out in the field wether you wanted to or not.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Well said, WPB. I respect a humble man. Surprisingly, others don't.

I just didn't get my chance to agree with you, blackg but Bear has really evolved and impressed me in all the years I have know him. And that post of him self reflecting was really nice to read. He has evolved faster than most guys his age. He has moments of relapse but we all do. I even do it for some humor attention but I try to stay balanced enough to not sound like.........well I am sure you can think of a few of those people.

 

[hairblues]

Nah, I feel the complete opposite of what you're feeling right now.

Did you choose your goals or did you pursue what you thought was right?

I say this because you were quite vocal about how you developed your career, how you bought real estate like the tycoon you are. "This is what winners do Billy! And if you don't get that, well you're a loser!" That's the vibe I got from you anyway.

People often mock me for my career choices or the fact that I appear to be lazy, but every time they do that, I tell myself that I'm doing something right.

I get like one golden job opportunities every week, I could do things yet I don't pull the trigger, because I know deep down that I shouldn't do it, I really believe this, while many people around me are telling me I am foolish.

I like to think that I know exactly what I'm doing, because I know myself better than other people ever will, I know what's good for me and what will make me more content with myself in the future, what will give my life meaning and bring me some happiness, or at least the least amount of suffering possible.

I cannot say this enough: I love my life right now. Sure it has his minor challenges and setbacks every day, and there are a few tragedies occurring around me, but seriously, when you have:

- A loving girlfriend
- Great friends
- A job in which you feel happy and valued
- A reflection that you like in the mirror
- Hobbies that you truly enjoy and give your life meaning
- Personal goals (and I mean truly personal)

It's close to impossible to be unhappy.

A lot of people don't get much of my choices but they can see that I at least have integrity so they respect that.

Some people will tell me that I deserve a better-looking girlfriend, that my job and my company are ridiculous for someone who has so much potential, that it was foolish to get all these looksmaxing operations (even my girlfriend will mock the fact that I whiten my teeth), that I like to play video games and watch entertainment (haha, such a time waste when you could spend time doing something productive! Uh...), and finally, that my goals in life are cliché and that I should dream bigger.

Only yesterday, my best friend tried to get me into this real estate deal "dude, don't you want to make a bit more money?!"

No I don't. Yes, I just want to fill my time with playing video games, playing my sh*t guitar, watching entertainment, all while slowly advancing my so-called unambitious career in my supposedly ridiculous company while I start a family with my looksmatched girlfriend.

On the outside, my life will seem quite unspectacular, but I think people are not living the life that they truly want and that would really be good for them because they don't aim low enough (yeah you read that right).

They think a simple life is beneath them. Do you believe that?

You're onto something with that idea of starting a family. Do it!

yes but are you doing it out of passion or fear?

 

[hairblues]

I've had some developments in my life lately that have made me seriously question the goals I've worked towards over the last years. For a lot of reasons I simply don't feel as motivated to pursue them anymore. To fill the void I've toyed with ideas of taking the savings I have, moving to a third-world country and living like a lazy bum for the rest of my life. Or maybe leeching off my gf and pursuing some pie-in-the-sky project that I've always dreamed of.

Yes, maybe I have these feelings because I don't like responsibility and want to escape. But I can't help but feel that the daily grind of modern life is not something that will bring me happiness. Most of the trains that I needed to catch for this kind of life to make sense have already left the station. Just a year ago I had all this energy that was focused towards realizing all sorts of goals, professionally and romantically. Now I kinda just feel like plopping out a kid and calling it a day.

Anyone feel the same? I guess most people reach this point at some stage in their life, but I honestly feel sort of lost right now and need to talk about it.

I dont really have a feel for you or know you well because I think by the time I came on you were stepping out so to speak.

I think you are a creative person and if it's one thing i know about creative people, they get the blues.

You have the blues...

It is NOT to say what you are thinking and feeling is not relevant, it most certainly is and don't ignore how you are feeling.

but you also have to understand a lot of inspiration can come from channeling that into something (does not mean for money).

create something not for money--focus on your career for money and if you have the itch to have a child start to plan for it...

but always create something because if you don't I think you will feel unhappy.

it does not have to be the main profession for everyone who is creative..and sometimes things develop form unexpected avenues.

 

[DoctorHouse]

yes but are you doing it out of passion or fear?

Great question!

 

[CaptainForehead]

That's how I feel from the early 20-s

I mirin at that "positive" fucks like tellersquill who are running around loaded with "energy", motivation other bullshit.

+1 +1

@zircon often people forget that work and the daily grind comes with a price -- as someone wise once said, this is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

The question is, do you want to exchange this limited amount of time you have on this earth for your current goals?

Also, mirin at you for already having amassed enough savings to subsist on.

 

[hairblues]

I see it this way: a job can't be your passion, you get paid for doing things you wouldn't do for free.

We should all be afraid of seeing our lives descending into hell because we wanted to "follow our heart", our passion.

This idea that you should be passionate about your job is BS, and I'm sure it causes a lot of suffering in people who are wondering why they don't have a job that they love doing.

It's a job! Have you forgotten the definition of it?!

Fortunately for me, yes, I'm passionate about my job to an extent, to the point that I get that "I can't believe I get paid to do this!" feeling.

I said nothing about your passion for it or not.

just wondering if you are afraid to seek out 'more'.