I was looking around reddit a couple of weeks back and I found a trans woman complaining about the same thing. Here is her post.
"Hi everybody, I am a post-op MtF. I have been looking for transgendered forums in order to make sense of a very unpleasant situation regarding HRT.
I had SRS with Dr. Meltzer and I am very pleased with the results. My biggest problems is with HRT, though. I have been on HRT for years and have tried different combinations and approaches. I have also consulted with several endocrinologists who gave me conflicting opinions on HRT. My hope is that someone here can help me find a sweet spot with HRT.
Because I am post-op, I do not need antiandrogen but I do need estrogen. 15 days ago, I stopped taking estrogen all of a sudden and the changes I have seen in these 15 days are amazing. Without estrogen, my face looks less bloated and more attractive, my double chin is gone, I am starting to have a thigh gap again, my skin looks more radiant and thicker, my complexion is healthier (as opposed to the anemic complexion on HRT), my connetive tissue seems more elastic.My skin on HRT was too thin and the veins were showing. The cellulite and flabbiness have improved in 15 days. Keep in mind that while I was on HRT I was on diet and I exercised even twice a day, however, I didn't see any significant result. I stopped estrogen and bingo, I lost weight and water retention and cellulite. The reason why I stopped HRT is because I was frustrated and depressed that no matter how hard I worked out and no matter how much I watched what I ate, I still had cottage cheese butt and huge (I mean HUGE hips which are unattractive).
My question is: how can I find a sweet spot? Before you tell me to ask my doctor, I have already asked several doctors and they only confused me. I have to be my own doctor now. Plus, there is a conflict of interests and I am a source of income for them. I go to their office and pay money to check my hormones and get refills, so, of course they are not gonna tell me to stop HRT and lose a client. One endocrinologist told me that my weight, bloating, flabbiness and cellulite were due to low estrogen... another one told me it was that I had still testosterone circulating in my blood, since I had just had SRS... too many conflicting opinions. I want to stop HRT but I am afraid I will lose that "feminine halo" that HRT gives to your face and makes you pass at a quick glance from a casual observer on the street.
TLTR: stopped HRT and my body and face improved incredibly in 15 days. However, I am afraid to masculinize so I want to find a sweet spot.
as far as the gaunt look is concerned, I believe that a fat face on an already big, wide face (like mine) is worse. I don't know, I am torn, to be honest, because I don't want to lose femininity, but the hormones were doing more harm than good. Yes, I did check the values and these are the values from December
Testosterone, Total, LC/MS/MS 6ng/dl Free Testosterone 0.6 pg/ml
Estradiol 24 pg/ml
I also have to mention that when I went off on HRT in these 15 days I can concentrate much better and my mood has improved too. Shouldn't it be the opposite?"
https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransge...y_problems_with_hrt_over_10_years_and_postop/