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I can't say one negative thing about estradiol and in terms of how it has helped me re-engage with life. My issue is always wanting more. Four more tubes of Estrogel on the way. I have new pics up.
Exploring The Hormonal Route. Hair=life.
- Thread starter bridgeburn
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Why are you using gel and not pills or injections? All the effects of the gel are due to systemic action. Where can I see the photos?
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I knew starting off, that I had blog/journalistic interest in recording both hair and body progress. As I became more comfortable, I decided to post more or less all representative past pics the last six years and I do new ones usually when there's so reason to dress up that day. Janey and Will, her alter are theoretically going to meet in the middle except with perfect hair and that might make me cross that line or maybe I already did. There's sort of a beginning pic from 1-1616 to compare with the "me" or Janey of today and one strategically shot, male pic since I's an XY still and all:
Thank you for your tips, @Experimentality , I will think about it, maybe Bica is not the best idea after all and I might consider CPA more seriously. In the link you posted it looks like even 12.5 mg of CPA combined with E2 is enough to drastically lower Androgen production, I won't lie such a low dose would enable me to save a lot of money on my future regimen, as the pills would last a long time. As for the doctor thing, thank you for your concern, but in my country there is no way in hell I could get anything more then Fina for hair loss. In the UK on the other hand the only way to go through this the official way is to go to a Gender Specialist, and I don't want to do that as I would have to pretend to be trans. Nobody will prescribe me this stuff for hair loss. This does not mean that I won't be doing blood tests. I can assure you, I'll be doing quite a lot of them, as I take my health pretty seriously 
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And to @JaneyElizabeth , thank you for sharing your Estradiol experience and tips, but I think I will still add a AA with Estradiol at least in the beginning of my new regimen. It's not that I don't believe you, it's simply the fact that people like Bridge, Noah etc. used them, their results were great, and positive change was visible after a fairly short time. It won't hurt to try this, If there is no positive change in months, my blood test results are bad, or If it makes me feel unwell, I can always simply quit AAs and continue on 5-ARIs and Estrogen only.
To end this on a lighter note I had a very vivid dream last night. In it I was in my bathroom, looking into the mirror and my head was full of hair, even my temples were back! Due to my spirituality I consider this a very good sign, when I woke up I felt like this dream was a sign that I am on the right track to fix my hair.
.And to @JaneyElizabeth , thank you for sharing your Estradiol experience and tips, but I think I will still add a AA with Estradiol at least in the beginning of my new regimen. It's not that I don't believe you, it's simply the fact that people like Bridge, Noah etc. used them, their results were great, and positive change was visible after a fairly short time. It won't hurt to try this, If there is no positive change in months, my blood test results are bad, or If it makes me feel unwell, I can always simply quit AAs and continue on 5-ARIs and Estrogen only.
To end this on a lighter note I had a very vivid dream last night. In it I was in my bathroom, looking into the mirror and my head was full of hair, even my temples were back! Due to my spirituality I consider this a very good sign, when I woke up I felt like this dream was a sign that I am on the right track to fix my hair
.6.25-12.5mg of CPA and 2 pumps of estrogel in the morning and at night is working really well for me. In the past 5 months hair has sprouted and started darkening along my hairline, past my transplant even. Problem is there seems to be a shortage of estrogel right now. My usual go to sites are out. If anyone knows any please PM.Thank you for your tips, @Experimentality , I will think about it, maybe Bica is not the best idea after all and I might consider CPA more seriously. In the link you posted it looks like even 12.5 mg of CPA combined with E2 is enough to drastically lower Androgen production, I won't lie such a low dose would enable me to save a lot of money on my future regimen, as the pills would last a long time. As for the doctor thing, thank you for your concern, but in my country there is no way in hell I could get anything more then Fina for hair loss. In the UK on the other hand the only way to go through this the official way is to go to a Gender Specialist, and I don't want to do that as I would have to pretend to be trans. Nobody will prescribe me this stuff for hair loss. This does not mean that I won't be doing blood tests. I can assure you, I'll be doing quite a lot of them, as I take my health pretty seriously
And to @JaneyElizabeth , thank you for sharing your Estradiol experience and tips, but I think I will still add a AA with Estradiol at least in the beginning of my new regimen. It's not that I don't believe you, it's simply the fact that people like Bridge, Noah etc. used them, their results were great, and positive change was visible after a fairly short time. It won't hurt to try this, If there is no positive change in months, my blood test results are bad, or If it makes me feel unwell, I can always simply quit AAs and continue on 5-ARIs and Estrogen only.
To end this on a lighter note I had a very vivid dream last night. In it I was in my bathroom, looking into the mirror and my head was full of hair, even my temples were back! Due to my spirituality I consider this a very good sign, when I woke up I felt like this dream was a sign that I am on the right track to fix my hair
Super slow process, but I'm confident it's improving if the hair is getting darker. Minoxidil really only caused white vellus hair to appear on the hairline in the past but I'm still using it.
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Hair takes forever and the strange thing is, like Bridge said, fewer people notice it's gone/going than we think and when it improves, even substantially, they are more so like "there's something different that I can't put my finger on" without startling before and after pics. I am very impressed with your improvement and you will probably make a full recovery.
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Your progress looks really inspiring, @kaiman . If I had even half of the hair you have I would be so happy. I hope your hair becomes even better in the future .
CPA seems to be becoming a more realistic option for me from day to day. I got less then two weeks until I arrive in the UK, so I got some time to decide. As to the Estrogel shortage, yeah, wtf is going on? Even Otokonoko who make their own are out, this is really weird. Thankfully, I did find some online pharmacies that do have it. I'll PM you with the link to the website I use to check out HRT.
. CPA seems to be becoming a more realistic option for me from day to day. I got less then two weeks until I arrive in the UK, so I got some time to decide. As to the Estrogel shortage, yeah, wtf is going on? Even Otokonoko who make their own are out, this is really weird. Thankfully, I did find some online pharmacies that do have it. I'll PM you with the link to the website I use to check out HRT.
Thanks! It's a process that's not for the impatient. I've seen some people get angry on here after 3-5 months on finasteride then think they need dutasteride or something more powerful. Like Janey said hair growth is a long journey that will require being content with the treatment for a fair amount of time, even though we all want instant results. CPA is powerful, 6.25mg or even less is what I'm comfortable with to lower my T, and of course the estrogel is doing most of the work alongside it. How long have you been on finasteride? It took a year and like 2 months for my results to peak on it. My temples filled in mostly but the hairline just got thicker and stopped receding which is why I got a transplant.Your progress looks really inspiring, @kaiman . If I had even half of the hair you have I would be so happy. I hope your hair becomes even better in the future
CPA seems to be becoming a more realistic option for me from day to day. I got less then two weeks until I arrive in the UK, so I got some time to decide. As to the Estrogel shortage, yeah, wtf is going on? Even Otokonoko who make their own are out, this is really weird. Thankfully, I did find some online pharmacies that do have it. I'll PM you with the link to the website I use to check out HRT.
I've literally just started it 2 days ago, you can read my first post. I'll link it for you. In short I was a self-destructive idiot for years and because of this I have woken up in deep sh*t. So I need radical action. And if you're interested more in my story you can go through my other posts after my first one
.Link :
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I think that the AA's might accelerate things for people using say, under 3mg swallowed daily but I continue to separate two groups: 1) those to whom breast growth is anathema and 2) transgender or non-binary females for whom breast growth is usually of equal, if not greater importance comparatively, to restored hair. There's no evidence to my knowledge that using AA's will present less risk of breast growth or other feminization aside from perhaps androgenic strength indices. spironolactone had heavy, heavy "stereotypical" sides for me in terms of loss of strength and endurance. Some of that is probably due to its diuretic effects which can be heavy also, along with related fatigue/brain fog effects.
That being said, spironolactone is probably the safest of the three "AA's" which is HRT/cancer nomenclature that is used to mean meds that spoof higher estradiol/lower T levels without actually causing them in terms of circulating levels in the blood stream.
That being said, spironolactone is probably the safest of the three "AA's" which is HRT/cancer nomenclature that is used to mean meds that spoof higher estradiol/lower T levels without actually causing them in terms of circulating levels in the blood stream.
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Question related to adding Estradiol to an already excellent male regime, including spironolactone and Oral Minoxidil
Dear Janey:
Thanks for your kind remarks. If you have pictures, then that is always helpful too. What I would suggest is titrating off the spironolactone entirely since using that with estradiol might have side effects that lower strength and cause fatigue much more than estrogen. Estrogen is a hormone that works in a way that can be hard to follow because it has two main effects. It starts breasts growth at very low levels in cis-females but it "finishes" the overall female body in terms of effects as one hits adult female levels of say, a 25 year old female.
Paradoxically, then, for those who use HRT just for their hair, I recommend higher amounts of estradiol than found in teen girls. For transgender females, I recommend a year of low-dose estradiol to preserve the best breast growth environment and then switching after breast growth is sufficient to much higher levels for hair and facial effects. At your age, further beard development would be forestalled most likely unless and until you went off estradiol but I don't think that we know for sure. It might be permanently stunted as seems to be the case for female to male transgender folks who rarely seem to have beards that look "right" in terms of thickness.
If your beard is largely already in, then it probably won't be affected by using estradiol either way. Do you have any idea as to what type of estradiol you would want to use? Your current regime, if you added once to twice weekly microneedling with minoxidil as a carrier, is already as good as it gets for males not using estradiol so I commend you on that. Check the main thread and my thread for some posts between several people related to all of this. I still think that my being transgender after formerly fighting baldness for 30-something years in a male context is a large advantage in terms of putting the pieces together. I have had what some would characterize as fairly extreme feminization so I try to always highlight this. @bridge had similar feminization effects. One thing I note is that both he and I are somewhat short of stature and slight of build and males who are taller but especially broader and larger-boned might not have any external effects that are visible at all and I answer unfortunate MtF's like this fairly frequently on the Reddit boards. I am going to post this on my thread and the Bridge thread without any information personal to you, if you don't mind.
A lot of young guys seem to be considering HRT for hair loss and my goal is to provide the best scientific and anecdotal experience about the "whole package".
Best,
Janey
Dear Janey:
Thanks for your kind remarks. If you have pictures, then that is always helpful too. What I would suggest is titrating off the spironolactone entirely since using that with estradiol might have side effects that lower strength and cause fatigue much more than estrogen. Estrogen is a hormone that works in a way that can be hard to follow because it has two main effects. It starts breasts growth at very low levels in cis-females but it "finishes" the overall female body in terms of effects as one hits adult female levels of say, a 25 year old female.
Paradoxically, then, for those who use HRT just for their hair, I recommend higher amounts of estradiol than found in teen girls. For transgender females, I recommend a year of low-dose estradiol to preserve the best breast growth environment and then switching after breast growth is sufficient to much higher levels for hair and facial effects. At your age, further beard development would be forestalled most likely unless and until you went off estradiol but I don't think that we know for sure. It might be permanently stunted as seems to be the case for female to male transgender folks who rarely seem to have beards that look "right" in terms of thickness.
If your beard is largely already in, then it probably won't be affected by using estradiol either way. Do you have any idea as to what type of estradiol you would want to use? Your current regime, if you added once to twice weekly microneedling with minoxidil as a carrier, is already as good as it gets for males not using estradiol so I commend you on that. Check the main thread and my thread for some posts between several people related to all of this. I still think that my being transgender after formerly fighting baldness for 30-something years in a male context is a large advantage in terms of putting the pieces together. I have had what some would characterize as fairly extreme feminization so I try to always highlight this. @bridge had similar feminization effects. One thing I note is that both he and I are somewhat short of stature and slight of build and males who are taller but especially broader and larger-boned might not have any external effects that are visible at all and I answer unfortunate MtF's like this fairly frequently on the Reddit boards. I am going to post this on my thread and the Bridge thread without any information personal to you, if you don't mind.
A lot of young guys seem to be considering HRT for hair loss and my goal is to provide the best scientific and anecdotal experience about the "whole package".
Best,
Janey
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I had a follow-up related to individuals who can't micro-needle for one reason or another and we are talking about needles so it's far from an unindicated concern, as well as effects on beard growth and my opinions thereto:
"Smaller guys like me and perhaps you, also at 5' 7" (I might have lost an inch due to shortening of tendons and ligaments caused by HRT and aging) with finer features, at least up to a point, by using estrogens and HRT, can look more "GQ" (or stylish if you don't know that magazine). GQ focused on more refined male styles of grooming and dress without being frumpy or "feminine". I think ultra-thick beards look best on large males as it goes along with the bulkiness. They also look better to me, the straighter the beard hair is and the less coarse it is. Stubble and clean faces probably look better on thinner, younger faces.
The other thing, is that to me, this is more or less, reverse bodybuilding, not so much in terms of strength but in terms of what I can achieve at the age of 56 in terms of looking a certain way. So, except for surgery, which for me would be last, I have tried to transition using only HRT, mechanical methods like microneedling and purported "temporary" salon treatments like botox and filler which might work far more effectively for MtF's on a one-time basis similar to providing a mold for the estrogen-influenced facial changes in fat, skin and cartilage to be effectuated more quickly and more distinctively.
Botox on either side of your jaw, on the masseter muscles, might in some ways act similarly to massage or microneedling, so you might want to consider that. It's not very expensive and has at least one study backing its efficacy in terms of promoting hair growth. The thought is that the male facial muscles in that area can over-develop due to muscular chewing actions and bruxism. This overdevelopment pulls on the areas in the back, sides and purportedly most of all in the temples. Botox relaxation might lessen the surface tension of the scalp in these areas and help with hair loss via this medication's stunting of the muscles involved. Such overly rigid areas might also be associated with DUPA which I also had/have."
"Smaller guys like me and perhaps you, also at 5' 7" (I might have lost an inch due to shortening of tendons and ligaments caused by HRT and aging) with finer features, at least up to a point, by using estrogens and HRT, can look more "GQ" (or stylish if you don't know that magazine). GQ focused on more refined male styles of grooming and dress without being frumpy or "feminine". I think ultra-thick beards look best on large males as it goes along with the bulkiness. They also look better to me, the straighter the beard hair is and the less coarse it is. Stubble and clean faces probably look better on thinner, younger faces.
The other thing, is that to me, this is more or less, reverse bodybuilding, not so much in terms of strength but in terms of what I can achieve at the age of 56 in terms of looking a certain way. So, except for surgery, which for me would be last, I have tried to transition using only HRT, mechanical methods like microneedling and purported "temporary" salon treatments like botox and filler which might work far more effectively for MtF's on a one-time basis similar to providing a mold for the estrogen-influenced facial changes in fat, skin and cartilage to be effectuated more quickly and more distinctively.
Botox on either side of your jaw, on the masseter muscles, might in some ways act similarly to massage or microneedling, so you might want to consider that. It's not very expensive and has at least one study backing its efficacy in terms of promoting hair growth. The thought is that the male facial muscles in that area can over-develop due to muscular chewing actions and bruxism. This overdevelopment pulls on the areas in the back, sides and purportedly most of all in the temples. Botox relaxation might lessen the surface tension of the scalp in these areas and help with hair loss via this medication's stunting of the muscles involved. Such overly rigid areas might also be associated with DUPA which I also had/have."
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Thank you for all this information @JaneyElizabeth .
As for the effects of HRT, hair is the most important for me, but I won't lie, most of the other effects beside gyno I think I will like a lot, like the lowered libido, emotional effects, better skin, less body hair etc. I might not be aiming to transition into a woman, but this does not mean I don't want to be a bit more androgynous or even feminine, not only in soul but also in body .
As for the effects of HRT, hair is the most important for me, but I won't lie, most of the other effects beside gyno I think I will like a lot, like the lowered libido, emotional effects, better skin, less body hair etc. I might not be aiming to transition into a woman, but this does not mean I don't want to be a bit more androgynous or even feminine, not only in soul but also in body
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Feeling a bit inspired enough to take this on.Thank you for all this information @JaneyElizabeth .
As for the effects of HRT, hair is the most important for me, but I won't lie, most of the other effects beside gyno I think I will like a lot, like the lowered libido, emotional effects, better skin, less body hair etc. I might not be aiming to transition into a woman, but this does not mean I don't want to be a bit more androgynous or even feminine, not only in soul but also in body
I have noted at times, not often, some of the reactions of others to the display of my "sissy" pride in terms of the progression of my hair but also facial and body changes compared to those into bodybuilding, which I deem to be similar in many ways.
Remember Entourage with Johnny Drama and the calf implants? For many, "building" an MtF body requires similar things in terms of opting for non-strength training versus training in movement, grace, limberness, and using both surgery and steroidal intervention to push our bodies to to look a way that would be impossible otherwise. I think that bodybuilding is seen here as having value in itself while MtF "bodybuilding" is seen as frivolous or shocking.
Somehow leaning over and smiling, yes, a stereotypical female posture in media, is seen as more threatening than flexing all but pornographic pecs/breasts and waterboard abs for all to admire, if not lust over, is just as much of a frank thing sexually but hidden behind the utility of "improving the male form" and health. It shocks me too to see my unclothed breasts in spite of my being fully XY and legal and all because they look feminine. Somehow gyno looks yuck but not feminine. FtM's post shirtless pics which seem to shock no one. Female-looking body parts seem to be sexualized and I know that so I try to weigh that against the aspect that guys/XY need to know what they are potentially going to end up looking like.
The psychological effects are pretty much unavoidable albeit tempered by education, culture, manners and body size. I estimate that it is necessary to hit higher than normal cis-female targets for several years to provide an environment in which hair restoration can occur. Compare this to cis-females who also might exceed average levels for a while but who comprise all but the null set compared to MtF's in terms of consistently being able to hit these higher levels for many years without apparent insult to health. Many transitioning MtF's even aside from beard removal, which can take five to ten years off one's face, look very young and estrogen moves incrementally, males faces back towards the cartoon ideal of big mouths and big eyes dominating perception of facial features and being closer together as opposed to more spread out by bone growth and lack of cheek fat.
Focusing on the psychological aspect, we have very little way to test any of this save anecdotally, empirically and looking back at the history of involuntary castration and eunuchs. None of this conversation is particularly polite dinner conversation but most of the stereotypes are true about T and E2 and account for the differences between XX's and XY's. Now, the various types of intersex people also exhibit certain tendencies here. But it's not discrimination or an accident that with the exception of charges for substance abuse, women are largely not found in the correctional system. To me, the "feminist" argument that nurture entirely or primarily accounts for difference accounts between the sexes is all but bereft of any data in support of it except that yes, education, culture and the notion of being a gentleman, are social tactics used to milk the best from especially young XY's, as opposed to the rage.
Body size probably accounts for the rest of the inclination of females and males towards stereotypical work--yes, small hands were better for short-hand and typing while only men and quite large and strong ones continue to do 99 percent of the stereotypical work done by males historically. Robots and computers are siphoning off some of that work as well. Smaller, "well-behaved", diplomatic males are much more likely in my estimation to achieve success today than very large, aggressive, males, mainly inclined towards substance abuse and rage. I have felt that rage and I know it well. It goes along with less discernment about say driving speeds or how much alcohol is enough.
Estradiol in my opinion will tone down the male "rough" edges in virtually all males as age and T-related decline pursuant thereto does eventually as well. I also note though an increase in "giddiness" that seems stereotypically female, that I encounter at levels above 300 pg/ml. I have always been an irreverent person but this aspect seems to be again, at say, adolescent levels in terms of not understanding the "grown-ups" who run the country and why they are all always so serious.
While HRT at adult cis-female levels will almost entirely remove the incel/cuckold compulsive "loser" psychological aspect that I see on here to a disturbing extent and this same vibe, if you will has taken over a lot of p**rn/transgender p**rn, it might be replaced at higher E2 levels by a different sort of submissive posture both towards "real. i.e., cis-females", especially attractive and "leader" types as well as something in between being agender and not especially resistant to what might be called "sl*t" mentality among certain types of cis-females. Some MtF's are actively shooting to look and be perceived as "bimbos" or bambi's as they are also referred to. The eunuch notion of MtF's without SRS having very high value seems to have made deep inroads into homosexual culture with its former emphasis on tops, bottoms and versatile's. My joke about versatile male homosexual couples is that they never have sex because neither one cares enough to say "bottoms up".
I know people say or want to say, "stick with the hair, Janey", and leave the speeches to Malcom X but all of us know that HRT is fraught with both psychological baggage and psychological peril. Many people think that I am somehow enticing the young of the HairLossTalk.com world into transgenderism but in my mind, I do the opposite. But if my hair grows back, which seems to be, inevitable Goddess be blessed, then I know people in my family will try to say that I left my wife and children to pursue hair or something equally vapid. But because in my own situation, I cannot still distinguish between being transgender and androgynous but male, I struggle to see how others can do this with the very rare exception of people like Bridge, who also has an accepting partner.
I essentially see three categories of XY's now: those born feeling female from birth, who often transition early, those now using it for hair and other things as either straight or non-binary and those like me, who had age non-dependent psychological movement towards feeling/being female "inside" that had an apparent rapid onset after my family was complete, perhaps freeing me psychologically of needing to be male.
Because of its effects on tissue regeneration and extensive skin, fat, ligament, tendon and cartilage effects, E2 therapy has a huge amount to offer older men as well. The younger XY's avoid some of the excesses of T on hair and face while older XY's might essentially have a semi-realistic 2nd Puberty, as well, as we call it, in which protuberances in many ways seem re-matrixed anew. This is, or can be all mind-blowing and the further from first puberty that one is, the more amazing it might seem.
It's likely this aspect that disturbs so many heteronormatives and I get it completely. People were grudgingly okay with "transsexuals" as they essentially went "poof" for the most part as "threats" to conventional society after SRS and SRS until recently was required before one could enter an HRT program. You had to sign a contract and you needed two doctors to post-sign it before surgery would be approved, even on your own dime. Such transsexual females were if anything, to me, it appears more cis-female-like than cis-females after surgery in terms of behavior and goals, and the primary one was fitting in among cis-females since psychologically most such were entirely female. Now we have people on the same medications, with a similar name but many of them/us are instead undermining clothing stereotypes that I personally oppose being compulsive but I find female clothing much more comfortable, expressive and attractive on the body that I currently have. I am not psychologically compelled to dress "female" but I don't want to give it up so that requires changes in my own familial and employment goals, along with target friendships.
So I differ here from some others who post because ab initio, I see few if any physical risks of using HRT for hair. I see substantial psychological risks however from unleashing something that spirals into something inescapable potentially. People talk about de-transition in media a lot but they still do it from the viewpoint of transsexuals and that's not how this works. Once a person perceives himself, herself, themself as trans, that's trans for life because the sexual preference aspect tends not to accompany the feminization aspect. A person who likes men can de-transition but then they are gay "again". Bridge appeared to be extraordinary in many ways. He was an interesting and provocative writer, who drew viewers by folks just wanting to see what was possible. He was never anti-transgender nor pro-transgender, he was just Bridge, an extremely intelligent person, living in a very different culture who could seemingly balance all of this. It's a lot harder than Bridge made it because he was so secure in who he was and what he sought.
Finally, if this works for me like it did for Bridge, I have mixed feelings about it becoming widely done except by people facing limited life potential/suicidal ideation. The fact that we still don't know exactly why HRT feminizes hair and face so thoroughly for some and not for others or even most, might make it less of a psychological necessity for guys who do want their hair back but who want nothing to do with any of this transgender "stuff". It isolates their hair loss even further from females who largely lack baldness and non-white/Semitic races which face much less baldness in general and often no pubertal hair distinctions at all compared to white male scalp hair and beard hair. I have seen comments even by XY's with excellent hair results in which they appear to feel compelled to do this for their hair. I might have felt that way at the beginning but I no longer do but that's the aspect of feeling trapped, of Catch-22 and as Bart said, being damned if you do and damned if you don't. But testosterone is a ticking time bomb of sorts and hair loss waits for no man. Treatment delayed is often if not virtually always, something that is compulsive in fact in terms of hair loss because with the uncertain exception of HRT where everything works right, baldness is permanent for males.
Janey
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You sure do like typing a lot @JaneyElizabeth , very interesting insights by the way.
To be honest some of the effects of HRT seem a little scary if you think about it, but like I said, a lot of them would be pretty cool for me. I can't even imagine the alternative, that is becoming a bald, full of body hair, manly guy with large hands and feet. Even the thought of this makes me want to throw up. These thoughts made me suspect I might be trans during the time when I was doing a lot of introspection, but that's not the case - I can't imagine myself as a girl either. I just want to stay the way I am now as much as possible, but with hair . So in short a feminine male with an androgynous body.
So it seems like I fit into the second category of XY's you mentioned, probably in the non-binary subgroup. I don't want to be a man as in what the word means relating to appearance and the implied gender role, but I don't mind being biologically male.
I see you edited some interesting stuff in, so I'll reply to it by saying this : After all the introspection I have done during the last two years, I am fairly sure that I'm pretty damn secure and confident in who I am, and what I desire. Like I could spend literally weeks thinking about some minor psychological or emotional stuff. So I don't think HRT will change the core of who I am, maybe it will change some things in my self expression, or emotions, but that's not a problem for me.
To be honest some of the effects of HRT seem a little scary if you think about it, but like I said, a lot of them would be pretty cool for me. I can't even imagine the alternative, that is becoming a bald, full of body hair, manly guy with large hands and feet. Even the thought of this makes me want to throw up. These thoughts made me suspect I might be trans during the time when I was doing a lot of introspection, but that's not the case - I can't imagine myself as a girl either. I just want to stay the way I am now as much as possible, but with hair
. So in short a feminine male with an androgynous body.So it seems like I fit into the second category of XY's you mentioned, probably in the non-binary subgroup. I don't want to be a man as in what the word means relating to appearance and the implied gender role, but I don't mind being biologically male.
I see you edited some interesting stuff in, so I'll reply to it by saying this : After all the introspection I have done during the last two years, I am fairly sure that I'm pretty damn secure and confident in who I am, and what I desire. Like I could spend literally weeks thinking about some minor psychological or emotional stuff. So I don't think HRT will change the core of who I am, maybe it will change some things in my self expression, or emotions, but that's not a problem for me.
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I feel that from your posts. I tend to feel the need, perhaps like you do, to explain myself in all of this. Bridge was more comfortable not doing that but also, as the first to really do this and write about it and record it pictorially, he was generally almost put up on an awe-like pedestal. He was fairly young but people aren't impressed by maintenance in terms of hair loss so guys who have never been substantially bald, never will be seen in the same way as Bridge who in most ways, apart from his talents and knowledge, was seen as weird, threatening and ugly before he fully "feminized" if you will. He said it himself. I use my before and after pics in deprecation as to why my ex was right to not want that "guy" around anymore. For most of us, it behooves us to be as "normal" as we can before others. You are unlikely to have to worry about developing/exhibiting your new/different psychological state. I am uncertain whether Janey is a brand name of sorts, a personality that I am developing, a long phase or the ego/personality always in control behind the scenes. I haven't shied away from illeism because illeism and the distinction between who I was and who I am and project to be, is the key thing in my existence now in terms of returning/normalizing relations with my family. I should have just told them I was suffering from an endocrine disorder, which was true, and ultimately, many transgender females do. They will do this just to stop the noise from testosterone, sex or no sex at a certain point and the sexual aspect becomes much, much less compulsive but it's there.You sure do like typing a lot @JaneyElizabeth , very interesting insights by the way.
To be honest some of the effects of HRT seem a little scary if you think about it, but like I said, a lot of them would be pretty cool for me. I can't even imagine the alternative, that is becoming a bald, full of body hair, manly guy with large hands and feet. Even the thought of this makes me want to throw up. These thoughts made me suspect I might be trans during the time when I was doing a lot of introspection, but that's not the case - I can't imagine myself as a girl either. I just want to stay the way I am now as much as possible, but with hair
So it seems like I fit into the second category of XY's you mentioned, probably in the non-binary subgroup. I don't want to be a man as in what the word means relating to appearance and the implied gender role, but I don't mind being biologically male.
I see you edited some interesting stuff in, so I'll reply to it by saying this : After all the introspection I have done during the last two years, I am fairly sure that I'm pretty damn secure and confident in who I am, and what I desire. Like I could spend literally weeks thinking about some minor psychological or emotional stuff. So I don't think HRT will change the core of who I am, maybe it will change some things in my self expression, or emotions, but that's not a problem for me.
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Partly agree with you here. AA's are not needed in the sense that high enough E2 doses will do everything that AA's do (and more). However, pure AA's will halt Androgenetic Alopecia in all individuals. If you are still experiencing hair loss on a prostate cancer-dose of Apalutamide, Enzalutamide or Darolutamide your hairloss is not androgenic but due to another cause. Bicalutamide, as said, is more difficult to assess since it is non-pure and may not fully block the AR. I also think Apalutamide and Darolutamide are pretty clean since they target almost exclusively the AR and do not cause elevated liver enzymes (they are 'liver safe', unlike Bicalutamide). Of course, they carry all sides you would expect from blocking AR's, and they are extremely expensive as well (orally). If one does not care about money and is going down the HRT route, they might as well add Apa/Daro to they regimen. Enzalutamide has off-target GABA binding that causes seizures in some individuals, and can be considered inferior for this reason. It should be noted that anecdotally, AA's on their own are not known for causing regrowth but more so for maintenaince.
I am not sure why you think currently available SERMs are valueable additions to hairloss protocols except for gyno prevention (SERMs are not very healthy either and should be avoided as much as possible).
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I am not high on Serms at all. Mostly the Serm questions on Reddit go unanswered. A few non-binary folks have asserted success. Serms are mostly for people seeking a chimerical body form, meaning mixing of parts in terms of the perceptions of others. Usually these folks either seek only breast growth, or buttocks and hip growth. Some transgender individuals if not most on HRT exhibit some forms of both sexual looks. Janey might argue that seeking just hair as an XY is seeking a chimerical look but since some white XY's do have essentially perfect hair for life that can even grow to long lengths, this aspect is muted.
It's hard for me to be against people using HRT for whatever they want; the genie is out of the bottle but I am sort of eh about this usage of Serms as it appears to me when answering questions that such folks are sort of dabblers or wannabe's but they are still data points. I believe people should start out using the least amount of meds for HRT possible and that parenteral ingestion, i.e. non-oral, is safest. I think that the patches are the best ingestion method of high-dose estradiol overall.
Yeah, I do seem to have a a need to explain myself, I think this stems from the fact that people love dualism and shoving everything into categories. The amount of times I have heard that I must be this or that just because I say, believe or do something is such a big number that I prefer to simply explain myself clearly, so nobody assumes stuff about me. Sometimes it's so tiring simply being yourself in this world lol.
Interesting stuff about SERMs, @Experimentality . As for me I won't be using them with my new regimen, my plan is to reduce gyno by staying slim and on a diet so I don't provide enough fat for big breast growth. If the gyno somehow still manages to get really bad, I might try them, but even then I'm not so sure. I have accepted it as an inevitable side effect for a chance to get my hair back. I neglected myself and my body, I let my hair die for years and I did nothing to save it, so now when the situation is desperate, gyno is the price I will have to pay.
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I tell myself that if I get back down to 125 pounds like I was often as a male, then I might be able to obscure what breast growth is left, if I wanted to but then I realized that doing so might make my *** deflate and look scrawny so once I can forget about what my extended family thinks and just be in the moment with my immediate family then much of this should resolve because I am just me, better and happier and I already did the male thing once and I wasn't going to top that experience regardless. So I jumped ship and I haven't looked back personally.
I had a really good run as a male, with many beautiful, brilliant children and a rich beautiful wife until the psychological aspects of testosterone and the external ones became toxic. Even if I were not trans, my training is in economics and things like marginal cost and opportunity cost and the opportunity and marginal costs of remaining male were excessive, far beyond bothering to maintain objectively and certainly not subjectively, even if it is hard on some of the few people who at least were involved in my life to see me this way.