Hair is actually an overrated trait

[Hairon]

I know, I'll be prescribed antidepressants next month.

if you keep being on this forum no antidepressants will help you, surfing this section of the forum is like swallowing depression pills.

 

[pjhair]

I know, I'll be prescribed antidepressants next month.

I will recommend you try running or other form of exercises as well. I went through divorce 3 years ago. It caused immense mental trauma and destroyed me mentally. I was basically walking around with unbearable emotional pain all the time unable to eat, sleep or work. I plunged into deep depression. After 5-6 months when I was somewhat mentally better, I started running 20 - 30 minutes . After each run I will walk for half an hour to an hour. It really helped me feel better, especially while I was walking. It would calm me down a bit and I will be able to think clearly. It can be very therapeutic. I don't guarantee that it will have the same effect on you, but there is no harm in trying.

 

[Hairon]

You mean "reality pills". Jokes aside, I'm 24, my chances for a positive change are slim to none.

if that's what you believe then why taking antidepressant pills?

 

[Hairon]

I don't tell my friends they're ugly. I may be realistic here, but I don't have asperger, I know you just don't do this.

I actually try to help them. How? I tell them to lower their standards. But of course, every time: "Her? She's ugly man!"

Oh well...

then you're a hypocrite, you say false hope is the worst thing, and it's best to burst the bubble and tell incels straight forward that they are ugly and cannot do anything about it, yet you don't actually go ahead and say that to your incel friends, if that's what you believe in, then you're not being true to yourself, instead of acting on your messed up point of view and "help" your friends by telling them the "truth" you choose to hide it from them.

so if false hope is worse than telling people are ugly they are and that it will never get better for them no matter what they do, then actually act on it and tell it to your incels friends, at least be true to yourself, but of course you won't do it, because you know it's f-cked up to say it to people.
--------------------
regardless to my comment ^
lowering your standards - there is no point in being with someone you're not attracted to, it's better to be an incel, the minimum of the minimum is to at least be with someone you're attracted to, she doesn't have to be hot or gorgeous, but attraction is a must.

 

[Hairon]

Because it's getting harder and harder to cope with the fact that I'm ugly, balding and virgin at 24 while fake friends and colleagues keep mocking and rejecting me for my appearance. My job and my hobbies help, but dealing with assholes and hypocrites every single f*****g day is making me feel worse.

idk man, I highly doubt your friends and colleagues keep mocking you and rejecting you because of your appearance, it just sounds bizarre, I have quite a few acquaintances who are ugly as hell and they have many many friends and no one mocks them of their appearance.
and I'm myself 25 years old, virgin, balding, and not attractive, but I don't speak like you do
I wonder why is that

 

[pjhair]

lowering your standards - there is no point in being with someone you're not attracted to, it's better to be an incel, the minimum of the minimum is to at least be with someone you're attracted to, she doesn't have to be hot or gorgeous, but attraction is a must.

I completely agree with this. It's also sort of unfair to the person you are with because you are not being honest with them. You tell them that you are attracted to them but that's just a lie. As soon as an attractive person shows up in your life, you abandon the person you are with like a used condom leaving them completely crushed. People deserve better treatment than that.

 

[EvilLocks]

I actually try to help them. How? I tell them to lower their standards. But of course, every time: "Her? She's ugly man!"

Oh well...

This is the key to success when it comes to getting lots of women vs. getting little to none. However, lowering your standards is something many men won't do.

 

[pjhair]

This is the key to success when it comes to getting lots of women vs. getting little to none. However, lowering your standards is something many men won't do.

I don't think it's just specific to men. Many women also wouldn't lower there standards. I think there is nothing wrong with that. It's just down to our personal preference. I will rather be alone than being with a women I am not attracted to. It's my choice.

 

[pjhair]

I know, I'll be prescribed antidepressants next month.

One more thing Dante. I know you and Fred are against working out, but if possible, try to treat your depression through aerobic exercises, eating well and other natural options for a couple of months before trying anti-depressants. These drugs can have side effects and it's better to find out if you can manage depression by natural methods first. Some studies have shown that exercises such as running can be as effective as anti depressants. You always have option to resort to drugs if other methods don't work for you. Sorry for this unwanted advice, but I just had to put it out there. Here is an article for you.

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/a...rescribing-exercise-before-medication/284587/

 

[EvilLocks]

I don't think it's just specific to men. Many women also wouldn't lower there standards. I think there is nothing wrong with that. It's just down to our personal preference. I will rather be alone than being with a women I am not attracted to. It's my choice.

I didn't say women don't do this. And you are right, there is no point in being with someone you're not attracted to. In fact, it's absolutely vital in a romantic relationship to be physically attracted to your partner. If not, they simply become a friend.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I will no longer be responding to Fred or Fred's sidekick. Neither of them have any ability to debate nor the intelligence, experience, cultivation, nor empathy to credibly back up their points - it's just the same ignorant, bitter, miserable, and tired slogans over and over again, independent of what other people are posting, as demonstrated in the past few pages.

There are intelligent people on this forum, with experience, emotional acuity, and so on that make this a worthwhile forum to visit. There are good discussions to be had .... but in life if you dilute your fruit smoothie with sh*t, you don't have a fruit smoothie anymore, you just have sh*t. So you have to avoid the sh*t in order to just have the fruit smoothie.

This is the key to success when it comes to getting lots of women vs. getting little to none. However, lowering your standards is something many men won't do.

Yes, that is a good point, Fred for example sees a lot of women simply by lowering his standards.

I did the same via Tinder a few weeks ago, and yes my matches went up. It will take a while to know if the experiment is worth it. But ultimately, assortative mating is real so I have to offer a better deal. Women, like men, want the best partner they can get.

 

[EvilLocks]

LOL If anything that's something that almost all women refuse to do.

I didn't say women don't also do this. I know we do.

 

[cocohot]

This is the key to success when it comes to getting lots of women vs. getting little to none. However, lowering your standards is something many men won't do.

That's not really true. I remember you posted an example of a "3/10" and all the men agreed she was a 0.1/10.

Basically women under 35, for the purposes of casual sex can have anyone they want at all. Especially in the age of Tinder. I think popularity and social status and being in the right situations when there's lots of alcohol flowing and lowering standards is probably more important than lowering your own standards.

If you're talking about relationships then maybe you're right. But plain women can have very high standards when it comes to money and social status too.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

That's not really true. I remember you posted an example of a "3/10" and all the men agreed she was a 0.1/10.

Basically women under 35, for the purposes of casual sex can have anyone they want at all. Especially in the age of Tinder. I think popularity and social status and being in the right situations when there's lots of alcohol flowing and lowering standards is probably more important than lowering your own standards.

If you're talking about relationships then maybe you're right. But plain women can have very high standards when it comes to money and social status too.

Ultimately, there are as many men as women in the world, so the standards of women are about the same as the standards of men.

Some perturbations happen I think:
- A larger number of women (how many?) are happy being single, which distorts the market;
- If women in their 20s and 30s are willing to date older guys, that adds men to the pool without adding women;

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

A guy I was friends with 15 years ago just got married.

When he completed university, he couldn't get a girlfriend. He was a lonely guy and chatting online all the time. He would ask me "be honest, am I ugly?"

I just saw that he got married to a beautiful girl. Tall, thin, nice hair, nice skin, she looks to be late 20s. He also has a lot going on. He served for the US military in Iraq and/or Afghanistan, and now he seems to be involved in real estate and civic politics in Atlanta. He's also gotten in shape and wears nice, clean clothes. He's written a splendid graduate dissertation.

He has a lot more friends now. He used to be lonely. His wedding announcement got 367 likes last I checked. A lot of what he posts gets a lot of discussion and comments.

I'm pretty sure his hairline is receding but it's hard to tell as he shaves it off completely.

 

[Hairon]

Actually women like to be single during their 20's because that's their c*** carousel phase, that especially applies to good looking women, why would they want to be in a relationship when they have so many options and opportunities for fun.
But that applies to men as well, it's the same for both genders.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Of possible interest, the conversation here reminded me of what a former beauty pageant winner told me years ago, here's the private message she sent to me:

First of all, Miss America is not a beauty pageant. It's the largest provider of scholarships for women in the country and the majority of your score is through interview and talent. Your physical appearance is only part of your score and women of all colors and backgrounds have won in the past.

Gloria Steinem herself has defended the Miss America pageant many times over and the majority of women who compete are powerful feminists affecting change and trying to reclaim power. So do not assume that all of these "pageants" are the same bc they aren't. I wouldn't have an education without that scholarship. It was the only way I could pay for my education. Now, I personally feel that the swimsuit competition is not necessary and I hope they eliminate it. I'm in favor of that. But the program itself is a lot more complicated than that and has been used as a feminist tool by a lot of women.

Second, on the contrary, I know more than most women that over-valuing one's physical appearance is dangerous.

As a late 20 something I had a very serious illness that took a terrible toll on my physical appearance. I didn't look like myself. I suffered and felt intense depression because I had been essentially valued my whole life for being beautiful. I was very ill but virtually no one cared. All they did was judge and make snide comments.

Now, my health is good again and I look much like the way I did when I won that pageant at 23 but my entire life perspective has changed. I was extremely ill a few years ago but the only thing people cared about when they saw me was that I didn't look as "hot' as they remembered. I Saw their judgement and felt that pain.

I see their faces now when they see me again and realize that I'm thin and beautiful again. And all I feel from it is hollow. I nod my head and change the subject. They have no idea the pain I felt or that they caused me when I was ill. They have no idea how alone I felt or how degraded I felt feeling like I had no worth to anyone.

I married a man who stood by me in my illness and who would love me whether I looked like this or not. He's proven that. He married me at my most beautiful but he loved me just as much when illness had completely changed my physical appearance. He'll love me when I'm wrinkled and old and when I'm no longer beautiful just as I'll love him.

I know more than most that depending on beauty to give you worth and meaning is not only dangerous but can lead to depression and sadness. I've been there. I've stood in front of a mirror 30 lbs overweight from illness and felt like I had NOTHING bc my value had been in the physical for so long.

I'm not nor have I ever been more valuable than any other woman. And if and when my beauty fades---as it absolutely will eventually----I will still be the same person. What has kept me with my husband has very little to do with either of our outsides and everything to do with the love we feel for each other which is rooted in NOTHING physical.

Marriage is difficult---even when you love each other---and your union will crumble if you are overly concerned with ageing and appearance. Those things are fleeting and you have no control over them. One of you might get ill. You will age. You will eventually die.

Going into any relationship not understanding these things or not being opening to LEARNING them is dangerous and sad. And it's not what makes a marriage or a loving relationship last long term. Beauty is fleeting. It doesn't and can't define you. And it's not what defines love.

Do not assume that the beautiful women you know don't know this or feel this. Don't always assume "privilege" until you know the real story.

 

[F2005]

@macaronaroni is the person who wrote this (lucky him!)

All my life i've been a handsome guy - i'm not being cocky when i say it, it's true; i would say in my 20's i was easily a 9. How do i know i was handsome? Because i would get hounded by girls - until you have about 20 girls screaming with excitement just because you looked at them, grabbing your *** at every chance, or even causing traffic to come to a screeching halt on multiple occasions as well as flat out being offered sexual favors on a regular basis by just walking down the street without ANY EFFORT, you won't know what being on the upper side of that scale means.

https://www.hairlosstalk.com/intera...e-on-mens-hair-loss.98252/page-4#post-1317414

Of course I'm envious because I never had this effect on any person (the traffic to a screeching halt is particularly evocative).
On the other hand, I'm unsure that this is the basis for correctly understanding how bad looks can negatively influence your life...

Jesus H Christ!!! Who the hell would even post such extremely egotistical stuff!!! Of course, it's always easy to preach positivity when you are speaking from a position of privilege. That is why I always say that the positivity posts ALWAYS come from the people who have virtually all of their hair.

I don't always agree with Fred. Like for instance, I do believe that being muscular definitely has a positive impact with women, through my own experience. Although it does not replace a full head of hair, otherwise I would not be on here. However, one thing that I've always appreciated Fred pointing out is that it is always the people with next-to-no hair loss (who have never even been close to being bald) who complain about the negativity on the forum and tell us to stop whining and complaining. They are preaching about something that they know nothing about.

 

[alphamale]

If you guys had a skull like this you wouldn't cry about "hair".

 

[F2005]

Maybe it's time for this forum to add a few new subsets to the Impact Section?

I'd add a section. "People who have mostly full heads of hair who love to preach what life is like as a bald man"