I will recommend you to avoid Tinder if it's not working for you. I rarely get any responses on Tinder but when I approach women in real life, my success rate goes up. I right swiped literally hundreds of women and only got a few responses. The only thing Tinder did was to bring my confidence down. However, when I meet women in real life I have better success rate. It is not as good as it was before hair loss struck me, but it's still way better than tinder. I recently visited a beach town and went to a night club. A stunningly good looking 23 years old bartender went out to have "late night" food with me after work. All I had to do was basically flirt with her the whole night. This was not the only instance of such an incident happening to me. There is zero chance such a women will respond to me on Tinder. Hell, even women half as good as the good usually don't respond to me on Tinder. I will recommend you to find venues that work for you. If Tinder doesn't work, screw it.
Hair is actually an overrated trait
- Thread starter marco75
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I will recommend you to avoid Tinder if it's not working for you. I rarely get any responses on Tinder but when I approach women in real life, my success rate goes up. I right swiped literally hundreds of women and only got a few responses. The only thing Tinder did was to bring my confidence down. However, when I meet women in real life I have better success rate. It is not as good as it was before hair loss struck me, but it's still way better than tinder. I recently visited a beach town and went to a night club. A stunningly good looking 23 years old bartender went out to have "late night" food with me after work. All I had to do was basically flirt with her the whole night. This was not the only instance of such an incident happening to me. There is zero chance such a women will respond to me on Tinder. Hell, even women half as good as the good usually don't respond to me on Tinder. I will recommend you to find venues that work for you. If Tinder doesn't work, screw it.
I'm not saying tinder depressed me, it's not, I simply know my MSV due to it and being realistic.
would it be weird if I said I simply don't have the power or the desire to go out and work and put in effort to try and score women?
it never made sense to me, why would I go out try to hit on women, try my best with them, court after them for who knows how long just to maybe get 20 minutes sex?
I'm not saying I don't want to have sex, but the effort it takes for it simply isn't worth it to me.
When you're good looking it doesn't take much to get a woman, it's pretty easy and fast, but when you're average or below it could take you the whole night just to maybe score a woman, that simply isn't worth it.
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Meeting women in real life is unquestionably better if you can pull it off. I'm moving in September and it will take a substantial effort on my part to build a broad social network such that I can actually meet desirable people. In this sense I feel like married people are at a professional advantage, they don't need to invest any effort into meeting people. Beautiful people are also at an advantage as Tinder works for them.
People describe "meeting women in real life" like it's an alternative option, but it's actually an advanced skill that needs to be cultivated. Unless you're in university, you won't automatically meet 100+ new people a year in without both efficiency and effort.
I installed Tinder a few months ago and got three dates I think over three weeks, or something like that. I stopped using it, there are 8 or 9 women I haven't had time to speak to as I'm moving soon and have been busy.
People describe "meeting women in real life" like it's an alternative option, but it's actually an advanced skill that needs to be cultivated. Unless you're in university, you won't automatically meet 100+ new people a year in without both efficiency and effort.
I installed Tinder a few months ago and got three dates I think over three weeks, or something like that. I stopped using it, there are 8 or 9 women I haven't had time to speak to as I'm moving soon and have been busy.
I've been using tinder for months, swiping all right most of the time, got only like total of.. 10 matches? and I probably swiped right close to a thousand girls, and not even one date, only one girl wanted to have sex with me from tinder, but she lived pretty far from me and I wasn't that much attracted to her to go and drive over an hour each direction for that.
And again, going and trying in real life- don't have power for it, too much effort for little gain.
I really didn't have to court them for long at all. Sometimes it happened just after meeting them after once or twice. If you are their type, it really doesn't take hard work. In fact they even initiate sometimes and ask you out. But you will never find it out until you meet people. Anyway, I don't think it's weird that you don't have desire to go out. What I am saying is that don't judge your value by Tinder. Tinder is based on pics. Not everyone looks their best in pics. I have met many people who turned out to be better looking than they did in pics. Also, there are other factors beyond your control that may influence your success rate on Tinder.
You don't have to force yourself to go out. But what you can do is go do outside activities that you enjoy. Basically just get out of your home/apartment and interact with people.
You may need advanced skills to approach women in clubs and keep them engaged. But there are other venues, such as workplace or meeting women through friends, that just need basic conversation skills. At least that has been my experience.
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Tinder is also more efficient if you live in a larger city.
I live in Canberra, population ~350,000. I ran out of matches on Tinder about 2 or 3 days after starting, there was nobody left to swipe. After that it's a few new matches everyday, which I figure is probably women deleting their profiles and restarting from scratch. Fred, for example, who lives in Brussels, accesses a pool of ~4 million people:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_metropolitan_areas_in_Europe
OkCupid is nearly totally useless in Canberra. Plentyoffish is mediocre.
In online dating, I also notice that women who live far away are more likely to initiate contact. I figure their standards are lower as they have fewer choices since most men will put in something like a 25 km limit. If women are living in a city of 40,000 people and not getting 30 messages a day telling them "I just want you to know that you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen
" then they're less likely to behave the same way and be as picky as when going to a sperm donation clinic.Tinder is the best method you value your looks, people who look better in real life than in pics simply don't look good, good looking people will always look good on pics as well.
And tinder is an app that the only factor that matters in it is looks, nothing else matters, that's why if you want to know how good looking you are, dating apps like tinder is the way to do it.
obviously it's way harder for average guys to do well on tinder because every girl there thinks she is 10/10 because each girl constantly have 30 horny guys messaging her, so even a 3/10 wouldn't go for anything less than 8/10 guy on tinder.
but that doesn't change the fact that tinder is best to value your looks, if you're good looking you'll do well on tinder, if you're not, then you won't. simple.
Tinder is also more efficient if you live in a larger city.
I live in Canberra, population ~350,000. I ran out of matches on Tinder about 2 or 3 days after starting, there was nobody left to swipe. After that it's a few new matches everyday, which I figure is probably women deleting their profiles and restarting from scratch. Fred, for example, who lives in Brussels, accesses a pool of ~4 million people:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_metropolitan_areas_in_Europe
OkCupid is nearly totally useless in Canberra. Plentyoffish is mediocre.
In online dating, I also notice that women who live far away are more likely to initiate contact. I figure their standards are lower as they have fewer choices since most men will put in something like a 25 km limit. If women are living in a city of 40,000 people and not getting 30 messages a day telling them "I just want you to know that you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen
lol I live in a pretty big city and I live 20 minutes driving from another like 5 big cities, tinder covers them all and way more.
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Workplace doesn't work for me, astronomy is ~70% men, and since it's an upper-middle class environment made up of a lot of perfectionists, a disproportionate number of them are married by the time they're 30, even married to their high school sweetheart. Further, academia in general is overrun with fears and allegations of sexual harassment, I would be scared to just ask someone out on a date at work. Everybody would hear about it and three days later the director would bring me in and lecture me on making the environment toxic for women.
I am not too sure about that based on my experience. I have met some gorgeous women in real life who looked average on pics. It may not be very common but it happens.
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Tinder doesn't just emphasize looks, I think it specifically emphasizes facial looks. The profile shot is usually a head shot, since it's on a small screen. Factors like height, build, and dress sense are de-emphasized.
that's not really true, most people include pics of all of them, not just their face, and it doesn't matter anyway, face is the most important thing in looks
David you're too fixated on physique, physique does add points but it doesn't beat facial attractiveness, face is way more important than physique
Welcome to my world. I am a software engineer by profession. This field has one of the worst male/female ratio. I remember reading a survey a few years ago and the proportion of women in this field was even worse than Mathematics and Physics. If I remember correctly, it was around 85% men. It makes things significantly harder because it's really easy to date women who work with you.
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You and I are extremely unlikely to meet a woman through work, which is the place where we spend a third of our time and likely are most exceptional and impressive.
David may be right though. I have a friend who is pretty good looking. He is blonde, 6'1, good face, broad shoulders and pretty good physique. Last year he separated from his wife. He went on Tinder and basically had no luck. Then he went on Plenty of Fish and posted pictures that showed his physique better and made a really nice and elaborate profile. He has been meeting quite a few women now. Women approach him in real life too and tell him that he is handsome. Tinder doesn't always tells you the whole story.
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I'm not fixated on physique, I care about the face as well we just don't talk about it as much as there's a consensus on the issue here. I do have a hair loss progress thread, where I'll post updates in a few months. Unfortunately, I waited a bit too long to start taking care of my receding hairline, due to ignorance and other factors.
I go to the dentist twice a year for a cleaning, I brush and floss everyday, I use sugarfree gum and mouthwash when possible, and apply hydrogen peroxide whitening gel regularly.
I get a haircut, and get my eyebrows threaded, every two to three weeks.
I tried to get laser eye surgery in January, but the doctor gave me an excuse and turned me down.
There are few practical things that will improve the face more than reducing body fat and increasing testosterone, both of which comes from weightlifting. The combined effects are less double chin and fat, less oil on the skin creating pimples and blackheads, thicker facial hair and stronger face muscles from the increased testosterone.
All that said, physique is extremely important. Put a nice face on a subpar body and it won't go very far. Even Justin Bieber has to lift weights and maintain a low body fat. Speaking personally I definitely notice women with nice physiques more. If someone doesn't care about legs, ***, hips, midsection, boobs, etc I recommend they consider testosterone replacement therapy.
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Because of the way the page is laid out in plentyoffish, people are more likely to read the profile and see all the pictures, rather than just swiping based on the first photo in 2 or 3 seconds which is what I think a lot of people do on Tinder.
Your friend being 6'1 will buy him points on plentyoffish, but less so on Tinder.
Yes thats' true. One of the girls that he met on POF told him that she messaged him because she liked his shoulders.
Fred, I have question for you.
lets say you're 35 years old, single, do you think you're going to hook up with girls at their early 20s? doubt it.
now, lets say you're 35 years old, single, you meet a good looking girl around her 30's, she looks good, of course she is not in her prime, not as fit and hot as she was in her 20's, but still looks pretty good, you never met her before, you like her, she likes you, you wouldn't date her because she is well washed up who spent heir youth having sex with studs? why would you care? it's not like you knew her in her youth, she rejected you, and now wants you, you never met her before, she fkced a lot of studs, and you fcked a lot of girls, what does it matter now?
would you date her or not?
Also, what makes you think, that the young fit girls you sleep with nowadays, are not well washed girls who are fkcing a lot of studs, and probably slept with a nice amount of guys before you?
how is that different?
also, I don't really get the whole "need their average beta suckers to marry and support them", in our age, women work same as men, women make their own wage, they put in money in marriage just as men do, so how exactly men are the beta suckers who support the woman?