I discovered how to beat hair loss - embrace it!

[Nichiyoubi]

I've lost most of my hair. It stared on the crown and worked its way forward. In the early days I tried minoxidil for about a year. I had a little bit of regrowth but nothing that justified the expense and residue which I hated. So I eventually gave up on trying to fight it with medicine.

After that it became painfully obvious things were going in only one direction for me. The moment of clarity came when I got some pictures developed from a party I had attended. The angle was from above as I was sitting on the floor and I saw for the first time actually how much hair I had lost - and how bad it looked with my hair left a little long. I had thought that leaving it longer helped to hide the hair loss, but boy was I wrong about that.

I was at a really low point in terms of self esteem, though the job and everything else was going well for me (except the girlfriend department, which was nil). So over time I just gradually cut my hair shorter and shorter until one day I decided to take out the clippers and grabbed the shortest comb available, the #1. I gazed apprehensively at the impossibly short comb for what seemed liken an hour before I got up the nerve to do it. And that was the day I conquered hair loss. They call it the #1 for a reason!

You see gentlemen I realized it's about what's in our heads, not what's on them, that makes us who we are! After I shaved it all off there was no way to hide what was obvious anyway. That simple act gave me personal freedom and total control over my hair loss situation, and I can honestly say my life has improved drastically from that day forward in every conceivable way. After I did it I felt more confident than I had in years. I met, and then married the beautiful girl of my dreams, who by the way told me what I wish I had been told years earlier - that chicks couldn't care less about mens' hair lines.

I read these boards and am really moved by the stories and the pain and frustration a lot of you are feeling, pain that I myself have known all too well. But I am here to tell you there is a simple answer: embrace your hair loss! I am absolutely certain you'll save time, money, and your ego if you do what I did. It works guys!

So what's stopping you from tossing all the meds, lotions, and endless searches for "the cure" when it's actually within arm's reach? You can do this!

 

[Draco88]

It depends on the type of head you have, whether juts shaving it all off will suit you. Rarely have i seen a guy where i thought "Well he looks alright with a shaved head". For me i know i don't have the type of head to shave it all off, it just won't work..and i can't imagine going about with no hair.

 

[Nichiyoubi]

Finfighter and Draco88, thank you for your thoughtful replies. Finfighter, you mention that our culture deems baldness an "unidealized physical attribute." My answer to that, and I don't mean to be sound flippant, is "so what!" It's not like we chose to lose our hair. That is far different from a culture valuing for instance personal hygiene and a man choosing not to shower or shave for a year. In the case of male pattern baldness it was simply in the cards. So be it.

I have to respectfully disagree with both of you that the shape of your head or something makes certain men look better than others bald. It's simply not true. Take a look at this link to a list of ten very famous bald actors.

http://www.squidoo.com/baldactors

My point in linking to this is not to say "hey, shave your head and you'll become a movie star." My point is that you will see ten different head shapes, of which one most likely resembles yours. Hey, I think I've got the Ed Norton crown design!

You know what? A man looks like the same man with or without his hair. Value judgments as to which "looks better "are simply that -- value judgments. Not the truth. Look at these dudes before and after the virtual shave and you'll see they look the same:

http://headshave.baldlygo.com/Head-shav ... having.php

Lastly, on a personal note, I can say unequivocally that I look better with the #1 cut compared to growing it out and trying to cover up. But that has nothing to do with my head shape. It just looks neater, and neatness counts.

You want to know a deep dark secret? The hair loss industry is not treating male pattern baldness. It is treating men's insecurities to going bald. And not well I might add.

I have the answer, and you can too. Embrace it!!!

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

Nichiyoubi - I agree with what your saying. A lot of people refuse to accept this concept though. Eventually after all the treatments have stopped working, after any hair transplant's, they are going to have to accept themselves and their hair loss. Either now or in the future. So thats why Im trying to roll with it now. Just trying to embrace it as much as possible.

It sounds crazy, but I sometimes think I would rather have a horseshoe then be completely bald. In that link you sent, a few guys at the end looked really weird.

Micheal Rosenbaum. Guy looks like a cancer victim. Just looks odd.

(OK, the guy doesnt look terrible, but its an example of a guy who isnt in bad shape but still looks pretty weird)

Edit - On reflection, he doesnt look that bad. And this guy did look fairly weird before he lost his hair anyway.

Then Kevin Spacey. sh*t just doesnt look right. I think leaving the sides and the back looks somewhat more respectable for a guy his age. Its not such a problem at his age either.

This situation is a bit of a bad one really, as he doesnt look great with his remaining hair -

This is exactly what Id hate to look like. His face/head just doesnt suit hair loss/baldness in general. His head is generally to big/wide looking, and there is no definition. Perfect example of someone who really fares badly from hair loss. I think a thinner smaller head generally suits hair loss better. He has just lost any real attractiveness. Not sure which I would rather be, him with no hair, or that. Neither look great. Probably too late for that now though.

Its probably running against mainstream views about balding/haircuts, but in some cases, leaving your horseshoe/remaining hair grown out somewhat can be preferable to completely shaving your head. Imo. Just depends though.

I think it ifs cut neat, most people dont really care about hair loss. I reckon people think its more weird to be completely shaven in most cases then be an nw5.

Finally, it totally depends. Some guys will look better with their remaining hair, others will look better with it shaving. Bottom line imo is that you want to have as little fat on your face as possible to look good bald. Not completely no fat, but you need to have a good definitiion of bone and muscle on your face, that lean look is good. When you see a podgy looking bald guy, it just doesnt look right, all bloated and stuff, ie Kevin Spacey.

Just to say quickly - I doubt people like actors really care that much about their hair loss. They are famous. They get pussy and money either way. They are successful and hair loss isnt exactly going to ruin their self esteem, its a minor thing for them when they are well renowned actors. But on a hypothetical level, forget that they are famous and try and picture these guys and average joes - which is what they look like anyway.

 

[uncomfortable man]

http://headshave.baldlygo.com/Head-shav ... having.php

My new favorite site!

 

[epictetus]

One needs to have strong facial features to carry off baldness. If you have a small chin, nose, you look like a potato-head. Also, having darker skin makes a big difference. I'm a quarter English, and I have that transparent skin like a lot of Englishmen. It makes me look ghoulish with a bald head.

I wouldn't give a damn going bald if I had a head like this

 

[Thickandthin]

Going bald is simply not an option for me.

I liken it to losing my nose or something. I will fight this tooth and nail until the day I can no longer hide it - and then I'll get a hair transplant. And once I run out of donor I'll get a rug.

The only thing I can embrace is the fact that I have hair NOW. The future terrifies me.

 

[Nichiyoubi]

Going bald is simply not an option for me.

I liken it to losing my nose or something. I will fight this tooth and nail until the day I can no longer hide it - and then I'll get a hair transplant. And once I run out of donor I'll get a rug.

The only thing I can embrace is the fact that I have hair NOW. The future terrifies me.

Bro, the future is now if you follow my advice. Face your fears and you will learn something incredibly powerful about yourself - that the hair on your head or lack thereof makes absolutely no difference in how successful you will be in life, who you will date, how much money you will earn, what hobbies you enjoy, etc. When you come to realize that, you will be set free.

I'm telling you the truth. I felt the same way you did until I decided to look at things from a different perspective, and that change of perspective changed my life.

To the other gentleman who said all those guys with shaved heads looked terrible, I think that says more about him than the bald guys he was looking at. Bald guys seem to be their own worst critics. And quite frankly I find it ironic that often the people most critical of others' appearance happen to be those with hair loss.

The problem is what's IN our head, not ON it!

 

[Nichiyoubi]

You want to know a deep dark secret? The hair loss industry is not treating
male pattern baldness. It is treating men's insecurities to going bald. And not well I might add.

Actually that statement doesn't make since. There are drugs that have been proven effective at treating hairloss, such as Finasteride. Finasteride is extremly effective at substancially slowing down and even reversing male pattern baldness in most men. My hair has stopped shedding because of Finasteride. IT works at treating hairloss, I can assure you of that!

Good for you Finfighter. I'm happy for you. If you feel you have conquered hair loss then my advice may not apply to you. For all the rest who are struggling I think my advice will pay monumental dividends.

Take the money you would spend on therapies and either save/invest it, or buy yourself a health club membership and do something that has real benefit to your health - mental as well as physical.

Most of the advertising for therapies is designed to prey on a man's insecurities. Notice how practically all the before/after pictures show the subject looking like he is getting audited by the IRS while undergoing a Colonoscopy "before", while the "after"shot makes him look like a naked Anne Hathaway is sitting 3 feet away from him beckoning him to "come over darling!" Switch those facial expressions, and suddenly the effect loses its appeal completely.

I know many will disagree with me on simply coming to terms with the inevitable. That's OK. If a hundred people read these posts and one of them follows my advice I will consider that cause for celebration.

It's time to liberate yourself from hair loss!

 

[Cassin]

thread starter is basically correct altho I would switch out "embrace it" with "accept it"

I've long accepted that my treatments won't be able to keep up with hair loss at some point. I'll keep using them for (why not) but when they can't do their thing anymore...oh well.

 

[Obsidian]

I think one of the funniest things on here is I read posts by people in this section saying they'll never accept their hair loss and it makes me wonder they'll never accept a change they have no control over but will they also accept changes they do not like but do have control over such as job, social life, and more?

 

[Cassin]

I think one of the funniest things on here is I read posts by people in this section saying they'll never accept their hair loss and it makes me wonder they'll never accept a change they have no control over but will they also accept changes they do not like but do have control over such as job, social life, and more?

I think most of the time its younger guys who are still very inexperienced at life. At least I would hope so.

 

[Obsidian]

I think one of the funniest things on here is I read posts by people in this section saying they'll never accept their hair loss and it makes me wonder they'll never accept a change they have no control over but will they also accept changes they do not like but do have control over such as job, social life, and more?

The point is, most of us are not willing to throw our hands up in the air and say, '' I embrace it ! I'm going bald, I'm going to be one sexy bald Son Of a b**ch... HOORAY!''

Sure we have to accept the fact that one day we may go bald, but for those of us who started losing hair at an early age (such as myself) It is benifical for us to keep our hair as long as we possibly can, through use of Finasteride , Dutasteride, Minoxidil, ect. We will accept baldness when we have no other choice, but we will first suppress it for as long as possible, and enjoy our hair in our youth at least.

See that is the problem, a lot of you guys go from one end of extreme thinking to another. It seems when I say accept this, I am not talking about throwing Rogaine in the trash and emptying your Finasteride into the toilet.

What those treatments don't work at all in the beginning? I never said do not do nothing. By all means, if something bothers you from baldness to the job you work at, do something about it. Do not though hold your breath on these treatments and put the thoughts of accepting baldness into the back of your head when you have no other choice to. Otherwise I think it will be ten times harder to do so when treatments fail.

 

[Nichiyoubi]

Finfighter, I started thinning in High School. Kid behind me in Algebra in like 9th grade said "hey dude your going bald!" So I know exactly where you're coming from.

You wrote, "The point is, most of us are not willing to throw our hands up in the air and say, 'I embrace it ! I'm going bald, I'm going to be one sexy bald Son Of a b**ch... HOORAY!''' The operative phrase you used is "not willing" which connotes the power to choose. I like that. It means you could choose to say that, as I and and others have done.

But doesn't it get tiring being like the dutch boy who held back the dike by keeping his thumb in the hole 24x7? You know what will happen if you stop taking the medications, so it's almost like you have to keep going to hang onto that huge investment you've made. I remember feeling that way and it felt very uncomfortable, as if I substituted the fear of going bald for the fear of stopping the medications and then going bald. What's the diff!

One day I got so tired of holding back the dike I took my thumb out and I let the waters rush over me. I survived and no villages were destroyed either. But... I found that life was definitely not the same as it was before, it was actually better!

 

[s.a.f]

I have to agree with some of the earlier replys ALL BALD GUYS ARE NOT THE SAME !!!! You cant just say accept it universally. Some guys can pull off the look with ease others cant.
If I looked like Vin Diesel would I be here? Of course not! But I dont.
Also of all your 'bald actor celebrities' half became famous when they had hair and would'nt of made it if they were bald to begin with and the others either look pretty bad or have the masculine image to carry it off, something that the majority of guys dont.

M.P.B negativley affect your appearance thats just a huge fact for average guys. Like someone said its just like losing your nose would be if that was also a natural condition afflicting a minority of men, its that obvious.
And we have a good reason to be upset about it. All your arguments could also be directed to a short 5'0" guy eg "its not how tall you are its the person inside who matters" ect but I doubt you'd find a guy that small who just accepted his height without any regrets and did'nt believe it had any negative repurcussions.

PS you describe your 'baldness' as like Ed Norton sorry to break it to you but that is a slight degree of thinning that is unnoticable to the average Joe.
Nobody describes Ed Norton as 'a bald guy', especially since he's now had a hair transplant (despite being a rich and succesful celeb it seems he too has succumed to the shallow vanity of hairloss).

 

[Boondock]

I tend to lean towards SAF's point of view here. I suppose my approach to this is:

1. Some people look better bald than others. For some it will actually improve their appearance; for others, it will knock quite a few points off.

2. There are practical steps you can take to fight hair loss (primarily finasteride and hair transplants), and there's no shame in taking them.

3. Depending on the severity of no.1, probably 50-75% of the problems from baldness are self-inflicted. I do think a lot of it is how we respond to the problem, rather than the problem itself.

4. If you learn to a) accept it, b) stop obsessing about it, and c) get on with your life, you'll be significantly better off than if you don't. This is true whether you choose to shave, go on finasteride, or get a transplant.

 

[Nichiyoubi]

I have to agree with some of the earlier replys ALL BALD GUYS ARE NOT THE SAME !!!! You cant just say accept it universally. Some guys can pull off the look with ease others cant...

M.P.B negativley affect your appearance thats just a huge fact for average guys. Like someone said its just like losing your nose would be if that was also a natural condition afflicting a minority of men, its that obvious...

PS you describe your 'baldness' as like Ed Norton sorry to break it to you but that is a slight degree of thinning that is unnoticable to the average Joe.
Nobody describes Ed Norton as 'a bald guy', especially since he's now had a hair transplant (despite being a rich and succesful celeb it seems he too has succumed to the shallow vanity of hairloss).

s.a.f.: I'm sorry but you missed my point completely. I said my head shape was closer to Ed Norton's. I said nothing about Ed Norton's hairline, which to me is totally irrelevant. I have no idea if he had an hair transplant nor does that even matter in the least.

A few have made the point "if I had a head like so and so I wouldn't mind being bald." So we go from obsession over hair or lack thereof, to obsession over the shape of somebody's head? C'mon guys! Seriously!

And the quote about hair loss being like losing your nose makes me laugh. How many people do you know or have you seen who have lost their noses? I know of only one, Beck Weathers who lost it due to extreme frostbite on Mt. Everest after being left for dead during a horrendous storm at 26,000 feet. How many people have you seen with hair loss? Like hundreds of thousands. In fact it's so common that people ought to simply accept it and move on.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I think one of the funniest things on here is I read posts by people in this section saying they'll never accept their hair loss and it makes me wonder they'll never accept a change they have no control over but will they also accept changes they do not like but do have control over such as job, social life, and more?

The point is, most of us are not willing to throw our hands up in the air and say, '' I embrace it ! I'm going bald, I'm going to be one sexy bald Son Of a b**ch... HOORAY!''

Sure we have to accept the fact that one day we may go bald, but for those of us who started losing hair at an early age (such as myself) It is benifical for us to keep our hair as long as we possibly can, through use of Finasteride , Dutasteride, Minoxidil, ect. We will accept baldness when we have no other choice, but we will first suppress it for as long as possible, and enjoy our hair in our youth at least.

See that is the problem, a lot of you guys go from one end of extreme thinking to another. It seems when I say accept this, I am not talking about throwing Rogaine in the trash and emptying your Finasteride into the toilet.

What those treatments don't work at all in the beginning? I never said do not do nothing. By all means, if something bothers you from baldness to the job you work at, do something about it. Do not though hold your breath on these treatments and put the thoughts of accepting baldness into the back of your head when you have no other choice to. Otherwise I think it will be ten times harder to do so when treatments fail.

To paraphrase Einstien, " One cannot negotiate peace while simultaneously preparing for war." Similarly, one cannot work on accepting hairloss while trying to fight it (with whatever methods) at the same time.

 

[Cassin]

To paraphrase Einstien, " One cannot negotiate peace while simultaneously preparing for war." Similarly, one cannot work on accepting hairloss while trying to fight it (with whatever methods) at the same time.

Absolute nonsense. I know its just a matter of time until I lose and so do many others.

 

[Nichiyoubi]

I'm with you, uncomfortable man.

If all these hair treatments actually worked there would be no need for forums like this one. The fact is that these treatments do not achieve what they advertise: the cure to your insecurities about going bald.

The cure to hair loss is acceptance, and I would argue, embracing it. It is who you are. Why try to hide that???

To me, one of the greatest feelings on earth is feeling of the #1 gliding across my scalp getting rid of those insecurities. After I do that I totally forget about hair loss because it's a non-issue.

I wish more people would try it. It will cost you 30 bucks for the kit and you will be set for life. After that, the more hair you lose the easier it gets

I'll tell you another secret. You guys care a heck of a lot more about your hair loss than all the people who come into contact with you do. I think most of you know that but refuse to believe it.

Change your perspective, change your life!