I discovered how to beat hair loss - embrace it!

[Nichiyoubi]

I hear where you're coming from Finfighter. I suppose I don't have a very good head for baldness either. I actually have a "stripe" of no hair on one of my temples that extends back about 2 inches and is about a half inch wide. I've had it since birth.

Maybe the Doctor delivering me had a few to many the night before and yanked me out with forceps. Not quite sure. In any case, it was invisible until I decided to cut my hair really short (I use a #1 clipper, it's the closest I can get without shaving.) So now I have a stripe gong down one side of my head and there is nothing I can do about it. If I cared, I suppose it would matter. But since I don't, it doesn't. No one has ever mentioned it. And if they did I would just tell them it's a birth mark. C'est la vie!

Hey I'm just curious, and I understand if you don't want to answer. I'm just wondering if anyone has told you that the baldness does not suit you or that you looked better with hair. Are you forming those opinions based on feedback from others whose opinion you trust, or based on your own views? No one has ever given me grief over going bald. I take some occasional shots from co-workers about it, all in jest of course. No one has ever said I looked better with hair, or less attractive without.

Would I look better if I had my hair back? Maybe some would say so. But I have to ask myself this question: would it make a bit of difference in my life? I am quite certain that it wouldn't make the slightest difference. The people I care about would care about me either way. I'd have the same job, the same talents, the same everything. Only difference is that I would have hair. So that is why I have a hard time understanding the hypothetical trade of a finger to get back to a full head of hair. I can live (am living!) very well without my hair, but cannot say so if I lost a finger. I have a lot of hobbies, including being a musician and that would totally suck!

 

[Boondock]

Wow! That's saying something Boondock. I've learned something today.

To be honest it probably says more about how little I care for my pinkie than how much I care for my hair. Id trade in a pinkie for a few thousand bucks. Not sure if that's completely retarted or not.

 

[uncomfortable man]

And the coup de grace: I will never have to worry about going bald! EVER!

But didn't you already say that you are bald? What do you mean by bald anyway? An nw2 who shaves off his hair and calls himself bald or an nw6 with a horseshoe? Which one are you Nichi?

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

And the coup de grace: I will never have to worry about going bald! EVER!

But didn't you already say that you are bald? What do you mean by bald anyway? An nw2 who shaves off his hair and calls himself bald or an nw6 with a horseshoe? Which one are you Nichi?

Im starting to think this Nichiyoubi is a troll. Over the top postivity. Seems like a bit of a joke in a way..

Pics or your a troll..

 

[s.a.f]

s.a.f. it's a good thing I am not a gambling man because you would be out some money bro. I am not only comfortable being bald, I've actually come to like it!
Here's why: No more wasting time and money with hair stylists. No more expense on hair products. No more having to fix my hair after waking up in the morning, after taking a shower, after riding a bike, after going swimming, etc. I'm never going to have to dye my hair to prevent it going gray - another big emotional hurdle men face that I will not have to. And the coup de grace: I will never have to worry about going bald! EVER!

To me that is priceless. If they came out with a pill that caused all your hair to grow back and cost only a dollar I would not take it. A lot of people would, and that's fine. It will only make my style choice even more unique, and even more "me".

I'm sure you are going to call me a liar, but it's the honest truth. You cannot understand my thinking, just like I sometimes cannot understand yours.

I respect you s.a.f. and I respect you Finfighter. But I respectfully disagree with your premise that "baldness sucks". It doesn't. We do not stand out from other men in a negative way. That is the inner critic talking, not reality.

Worrying about baldness is what sucks dudes. And you can do something about that. Change your outlook.

LMAO !!!
Well if thats really true then good for you, but I somehow doubt that the majority of bald guys on here or anywhere would agree.
You might aswell say hey if I could choose to be 20% better looking or have a bigger c*** or a higher paying job I would'nt.

Its like saying that way I dont get hassled by woman wanting to date me guys being jealous in the showers or have to worry about what else too spend all my extra money on.
I'm sorry but if you asked everyman in the world wether he'd prefer to have hair or be bald the ones who truthfully answered "hmm, I really dont care either way" would be very few and far between.

Its like some guy losing his teeth and saying hey at least now I dont have to spend all that time brushing.

I've posted many times on here against the guys who say I'm going bald so I cant face the world, my life is over ect.
But to claim that it does'nt matter at all and theres no reason be upset about it is pure idiocy.
We are losing a part of ourselves that many people take great pride in, something that in society represents youth, attractivness, health and virility. And we are being forced against our wishes to accept a minority look that will make us stand out in a negative way.
Young guys out there should'nt be made to feel that they are weak or crazy for wanting to keep what is an important part of their physical appearance.

And RE the finger thing - It was fingER not fingERS as I guessed you'd change it to.

 

[Nichiyoubi]

And the coup de grace: I will never have to worry about going bald! EVER!

But didn't you already say that you are bald? What do you mean by bald anyway? An nw2 who shaves off his hair and calls himself bald or an nw6 with a horseshoe? Which one are you Nichi?

Im starting to think this Nichiyoubi is a troll. Over the top postivity. Seems like a bit of a joke in a way..

Pics or your a troll..

OK you guys caught me! I'm a troll. I actually have a full head of hair and I come here to try and lure you fellas into thinking that losing your hair is OK and that society and others around you think it's OK too. It's a total conspiracy! If that's what you want to believe then I guess I can't stop you.

I've gone through what you guys have gone through, and I remember how I used to beat myself up about it. Back then I wish someone had come to me and said "Nichi, you're going bald bro. But ya know what? It's not going to have the slightest negative effect on your life. In fact you might find this hard to believe but you could actually come to like it! You are going to be successful despite your hair loss and you are going to lead a happy life - but only if you choose to."

As I said, I started losing my hair in high school which was way way pre-internet, so there weren't any support groups like this one. I was self conscious and didn't talk to anyone about it. Whenever I got rejected by women I would blame my hair loss for it, which made me feel even worse. You guys, ever do that?

I guess I'm like a NW6 or 7 something like that. I actually had to look it up because I was unfamiliar with the terminology (I thought you guys were discussing Northwest flight numbers or something. LOL!) So have I got you guys beat? Wherever I'm at I'm sure there is no possible hope for minoxidil or finasteride, as there once was some years ago. One thing I noticed is that guys are fretting about going NW2 --> NW3, or like NW1.500000 to NW1.5256002. No matter where a guy is at, it seems there is a lot of self consciousness and fretting over it. That's OK. I just thought I'd try to offer a different perspective.

I don't know what else to tell you guys. I hope my story helps in some way. If you choose to totally discount what I have to say that's OK by me. I'm only here to tell you that you have a choice. I had a choice and I made it. And that choice took all my anxiety away, in a way that all the supposed remedies couldn't.

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

Nichiyoubi, I agree with a lot of what your saying. I am actually happier now about the way I look then when I first started receeding. It doesnt strike terror in to me, and I dont think hair loss will ruin my life. Or at least, I realize that blaming hair loss for all my problems is pretty crazy. But on the other hand, I havnt started noticebly thinning. For all my talk about hair loss over the last few years, it dawned on me today that my hair loss still isnt that bad. There is noticable recession, but it looks fairly normal. I dont know how long it will be till it takes a turn for the worst. Right now I would say it still looks respectable, and girls/people arent generally going to immiedattly notice it. But as I said, I dont know how long this period is going to last for. I cant say for sure how I will take it when recession/thinning becomes apparent.

But my philosophy is just to try and accept what has to be accepted, day by day. Theres no point in worrying to much about the future. Sooner or later, the future will be today, and naturally, your going to have the choice to accept that moment when it comes or not. But Im going to deal with the next level of hair loss when that day comes, and try not to dwell on it too much now.

Although I am 'accepting' it all quite well, and just embracing it to a point, I still acknowledge that there are still obvious pitfalls to hair loss. Its not 'nothing'. But its something you have to deal with. Its one thing you say you accept it etc, but not to acknowledge any negative elements to hair loss would be pretty far of the mark. Thats why when you (nichayoubi) talk about it as if it was literally nothing, and having no negative parts to it at all, it comes across as slightly fake/over positive. Perhaps you really have managed to change your outlook about it, and if so, fair enough..But then why would you be on this forum in the first place?

Its about accepting the negative side of hair loss. Realizing that ok, it does have its bad points, but its not the end of the world. Take the rough with the smooth, this is what makes life life. An easy life, where we looked perfect and didnt have to fight for anything wouldnt be as interesting.

 

[Nichiyoubi]

Nichiyoubi, I agree with a lot of what your saying. I am actually happier now about the way I look then when I first started receeding. It doesnt strike terror in to me, and I dont think hair loss will ruin my life. Or at least, I realize that blaming hair loss for all my problems is pretty crazy. But on the other hand, I havnt started noticebly thinning. For all my talk about hair loss over the last few years, it dawned on me today that my hair loss still isnt that bad. There is noticable recession, but it looks fairly normal. I dont know how long it will be till it takes a turn for the worst. Right now I would say it still looks respectable, and girls/people arent generally going to immiedattly notice it. But as I said, I dont know how long this period is going to last for. I cant say for sure how I will take it when recession/thinning becomes apparent.

But my philosophy is just to try and accept what has to be accepted, day by day. Theres no point in worrying to much about the future. Sooner or later, the future will be today, and naturally, your going to have the choice to accept that moment when it comes or not. But Im going to deal with the next level of hair loss when that day comes, and try not to dwell on it too much now.

Although I am 'accepting' it all quite well, and just embracing it to a point, I still acknowledge that there are still obvious pitfalls to hair loss. Its not 'nothing'. But its something you have to deal with. Its one thing you say you accept it etc, but not to acknowledge any negative elements to hair loss would be pretty far of the mark. Thats why when you (nichayoubi) talk about it as if it was literally nothing, and having no negative parts to it at all, it comes across as slightly fake/over positive. Perhaps you really have managed to change your outlook about it, and if so, fair enough..But then why would you be on this forum in the first place?

Its about accepting the negative side of hair loss. Realizing that ok, it does have its bad points, but its not the end of the world. Take the rough with the smooth, this is what makes life life. An easy life, where we looked perfect and didnt have to fight for anything wouldnt be as interesting.

Hope4hairRedux, you said it way better than I ever could.

Sorry if my attitude comes off as being too positive to be believed. I'm just being honest about how I feel about it now, having not only survived but thrived.

You asked, "But then why would you be on this forum in the first place?" Because I believe I have something to offer guys who are struggling with it. It costs me nothing but a few minutes of my time to post a more positive story, so why not? I don't think I'm hurting anyone and might be helping someone.

I really wish that back when I had a lot more hair and a lot more worries about it someone would have come along and told me some of the things I'm saying now. I never had that, and it's something I look back on and regret. I eventually figured it out but it took quite a long time. Those should have been some of the best days of my life but unfortunately were not so great due to my own perceptions.

However I do have to ask myself whether I would have taken my own advice early on, or totally rejected it. Maybe I would have responded just like a lot of people have on these boards, with absolute disbelief (not saying you personally). I will never know the answer.

To anyone on the fence, I ask you to do one simple thing: Print out a few of my posts. Fold the papers and put in an envelope. Put your name on that envelope and the words "Do not open until January 1, 2020". When that day comes, open up the envelope and see whether my message was spot on or a load of bunk.

If I was right, I want you to then go out and find a few younger guys and give them the same advice I'm giving now. That's how we bald brothers roll!

PS The image you're using is a Van Gogh, yes? I like.

 

[mpbsux20]

 

[Smooth]

PS The image you're using is a Van Gogh, yes? I like.

Everyone's favorite lol... very "deathy"?....

 

[toocoolforhair]

You cannot beat hair loss by embracing it, as I have yet to see a confident bald man have his hair magically grow back. However, on a personal level I am much more comfortable and confident now that I have a grade 0 (previously a grade 1). The problem with longer hair is that you have more to worry about e.g. the weather. Buzzed/shaved hair removes those problems: it always looks the same.

Accepting hair loss will almost certainly make you happier (I would not get upset if someone mentioned my hair loss now), and maybe that happiness will rub off on other people. If I had to choose which balding guy I wanted to be, the depressed one undergoing hair loss treatment, or the happy one with not a single hair on his head, I'd choose the happy one. If you can only be happy in this life with hair on your head then maybe the problem isn't hair loss at all.

I'm sure there are exceptions though e.g. there may be many happy balding men undergoing treatment and many unhappy bald men with shaved heads. However, buzzing/shaving your head feels like a physical act of letting go; you are accepting that you will never have hair again.

 

[Nichiyoubi]

It seems that quite a few have interpreted "beating hair loss" as getting all or most of your hair back. To me that is a totally different paradigm.

You can beat hair loss if you stop fighting it and embrace who you are - whether you are a NW2, 3, 4, 5, or a NW99 - and understand that the people around you will like you just as much, and that you will have an equal opportunity to be happy in life. It's a choice.

TooCool's post is great. Though he may disagree with my definition of beating it, he does note the all important power to choose. One can and many do choose to be happy despite of their hair loss. To me they have got it beat.

Guys, ask yourself if you are seeking happiness or if you are seeking good hair. And be honest about that. If you say "good hair because it will make me happy" I think you might be way overestimating the effect it would have. If hair brought happiness, every man with great hair would be happy and you know that is not so. Just like health. If you have good health you probably take it for granted and let some things get you down. But when you are ill you can't think about anything else except feeling better. So the absence of good health can bring unhappiness (again if you let it) but having good health does not guarantee happiness.

There are people with far worse afflictions than hair loss who have vowed not to let it steal their right to be happy, nor liberty nor life. Exercise that right!

 

[superfrankie]

It seems that quite a few have interpreted "beating hair loss" as getting all or most of your hair back. To me that is a totally different paradigm.

You can beat hair loss if you stop fighting it and embrace who you are - whether you are a NW2, 3, 4, 5, or a NW99 - and understand that the people around you will like you just as much, and that you will have an equal opportunity to be happy in life. It's a choice.

TooCool's post is great. Though he may disagree with my definition of beating it, he does note the all important power to choose. One can and many do choose to be happy despite of their hair loss. To me they have got it beat.

Guys, ask yourself if you are seeking happiness or if you are seeking good hair. And be honest about that. If you say "good hair because it will make me happy" I think you might be way overestimating the effect it would have. If hair brought happiness, every man with great hair would be happy and you know that is not so. Just like health. If you have good health you probably take it for granted and let some things get you down. But when you are ill you can't think about anything else except feeling better. So the absence of good health can bring unhappiness (again if you let it) but having good health does not guarantee happiness.

There are people with far worse afflictions than hair loss who have vowed not to let it steal their right to be happy, nor liberty nor life. Exercise that right!

Hope it takes some time before I reach NW99 then

No, seriously its true what you say. hair loss does not take away our changes to be happy in life. Only if we let it, as with everything else. Its only when you lose something that makes you want to have it back. And if we didnt lose it from the beginning we would not value it so much. Im not thinking about how lucky I am to have a great health, but Ive starting to do now since I dont take it for granted.

I try to se my hair loss as an opportunity to develope my inner game tremendeously - to get in contact with "the real me". I try to be thankful for what I have instead of what Ive lost. I miss my hair, ofc I do but let it hinder all my other qualities and potential contributions to this world is absurd when I think about it.

 

[s.a.f]

"Just shave it off and you'll love it, all your worries will dissapear"? ect ect ...
Sorry but not in my experience. :thumbdown2:

I remember I was about 25 and the NW3 had finally reached NW4, I buzzed it off and I'm not ashamed to say the sight of that bullet headed old man in the mirror (who I did'nt recognise as myself) actually reduced me to tears. From that moment on I had hit rock bottom. I gave up any hopes of a future - I was a sub rate man. I lived this way for 5 yrs until I started down the hair transplant route.
After many years of trials and tribulations I now feel much better about myself and although the things are'nt great now at least I am able to look at myself in the mirror and have some desire to go ahead in life as again I see a relativley young looking man.

 

[superfrankie]

"Just shave it off and you'll love it, all your worries will dissapear"? ect ect ...
Sorry but not in my experience. :thumbdown2:

I remember I was about 25 and the NW3 had finally reached NW4, I buzzed it off and I'm not ashamed to say the sight of that bullet headed old man in the mirror (who I did'nt recognise as myself) actually reduced me to tears.

Talk about the ultimate standard phrase :shakehead: Not everybody will feel comfortable and look good with a shaved head.

Man, I can really understand your sorrow at that moment as Ive been there myself, 6 years sooner than you. DO I even have to say I didnt finished high school? It was impossible at that time.

 

[Nichiyoubi]

I'd like to share an observation that I have made: That the FEAR OF LOSS is often worse than the ACTUAL LOSS. Why is that? I think it's because fear is one of the most powerful negative emotions one can feel. Fear can lead to severe anxiety, depression, and even a host of physical ailments.

On the other hand what does the ACTUAL LOSS bring? Well, after you lose something you have two choices. You conclude that life cannot go on and throw yourself off a bridge. Or you say "well, I'm still alive - so what's next?" Fortunately, most people choose the latter. And here is the really powerful part: After the ACTUAL LOSS there is nothing left to FEAR! The worst thing in the world has already occurred, and you move past it.

Perhaps one of the really difficult things about hair loss is that it is gradual. It's like Chinese water torture, but instead of drip by drip it goes strand by strand. It progresses in only one direction, and so slowly that it prolongs the suffering. Each week or month is seemingly worse than the one before. That's the part that really get's people down. It really got me down, man. I wonder if I had gone from NW1 to NW5 in like a week whether it would have prevented many years of agony. I honestly think it would have, cause I would have gotten to the point of dealing with it much sooner than I did.

When older guys like me no longer feel concerned about hair loss even though we might have reached a NW99, a lot of the younger guys just can't believe it. We are like the vision of your worst nightmare, and yet we can smile and laugh about it. How can that be? That just doesn't square with what you are feeling right? This cognitive dissonance creates a tendency to write us off as if we are nut cases. Or even worse, despise us. But we might just be the Voice of Christmas Future, coming to tell you guys to change your thinking and stop beating yourselves up about it.

If I could go back and relive my 20's I would not try to change my hair loss situation. I would change my attitude about it, and enjoy the living daylights out of those years which you will find pass way too quickly.

_________________
"Baldness is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

 

[treeshrew]

this is like telling a girl who has gained lots of weight "just accept it, it's what's on the inside that counts!"

but let's be honest here. you are less likely to be attracted to an overweight girl - aren't you? it doesn't matter if they "accept it". it's a physical condition and a FACT that it makes you less attractive.

i know some very outgoing, confident overweight girls. trust me, it doesn't make me any more attracted to them.

accepting baldness is great for your mental health and happiness. but let's not pretend like it doesn't effect your attractiveness at all.

 

[Nichiyoubi]

this is like telling a girl who has gained lots of weight "just accept it, it's what's on the inside that counts!"

but let's be honest here. you are less likely to be attracted to an overweight girl - aren't you? it doesn't matter if they "accept it". it's a physical condition and a FACT that it makes you less attractive.

i know some very outgoing, confident overweight girls. trust me, it doesn't make me any more attracted to them.

accepting baldness is great for your mental health and happiness. but let's not pretend like it doesn't effect your attractiveness at all.

It affects your attractiveness only to people who think hair loss is unattractive.

And you know who those people are??? For the most part, balding guys!

There are some women who do not find balding guys attractive. There are women who don't find vertically challenged men attractive. There are women who don't find guys with big noses attractive. You name it, and you can find someone who doesn't like it.

The problem with your thought process is you are projecting the dislike of balding men onto most if not all women. And there is your mistake. I dated far more and better looking women after significant hair loss than before. What made the difference? Understanding what I just wrote above.

_________________
"Baldness is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

 

[uncomfortable man]

You see Nichiyoubitch (sorry) all we want is for you to acknowledge the fact that us bald guys are discriminated against to a certain but still distinct extent....weather you choose to ignore them or empower them is (like you say) up to you. Most of us here feel like there are very real consequences to going bald. Most all men want to avoid it for the same reason. It makes you less attractive (most of the time) and as wrong as it may be, being attractive is disproportionately valued in this society from which we can't just escape. You have to choose to let or not let those unsavory reactions affect you. It is a test of our inner strength to overcome the stigma in your own way, but you can't say it doesn't exist or else you loose credibility as someone who is in denial. I don't pretend to think that being bald doesn't make me different but that makes it feel all the better when I am out without my hat and see another bald guy. There is a mutual feeling of brotherhood and understanding that guys with hair just don't have.

 

[superfrankie]

You see Nichiyoubitch (sorry) all we want is for you to acknowledge the fact that us bald guys areI don't pretend to think that being bald doesn't make me different but that makes it feel all the better when I am out without my hat and see another bald guy. There is a mutual feeling of brotherhood and understanding that guys with hair just don't have.

That is the same moment where I feel the most connected to a human being.