uncomfortable man said:
You can embrace it all you want. You can do and tell yourself everything possible to rationalize it and make yourself feel better....but it won't stop the stares. People are still going to laugh at you, women will still reject you and regard you as subhuman. I suppose the only difference is you won't care as much about it because you've conditioned yourself to ignore it to protect your own feelings and that's fine. But when someone is laughing in my face because I am bald, I don't take pitty on the frightened little child in him that feels like he needs to bully someone and pretend like I feel sorry for this jerk. I don't need that Kindergarten f****ing psychology to put a Bob The Builder bandaid on my bruised ego. When someone f****ing makes fun of me for something beyond my control I get rightfully offended. Righteously offended. But hey, if whatever you tell yourself keeps them from getting you down and depressed then more power to you. I just find it all too difficult to ignore myself.
I don't even know why I get angered by your posts because by now I realize you have a severe case of BDD...but what pisses me off is that despite the fact you KNOW this, you completely deny any effect it has and still try to pass off your own warped, subjective views as universal truths. You "think" that everybody is staring at you for being bald without taking into account how f*****g narcissistic that view is. It is SO vein that its ridiculous...you think that MOST PEOPLE you encounter on a daily basis on the street, or in stores, etc. are actually stopping what they are doing so they can STARE at you for being bald, and then they proceed to think extremely negative things about you. Do you deny this to be the case? Because I'm pretty sure you've made it evident enough that you DO think that....
now, stop and think how absurd that is...seriously. You think that YOU are important enough...or that by virtue of being bald you stand out enough to other people so that nearly EVERY person you see is STARING MOCKINGLY at you and thinking you are pathetic. I mean, wow...I can understand how much life would suck if you truly believed that...but you've GOT TO understand how false it is....U-man...do you think that a male who is quite below average height is getting stared at constantly? What about gingers? Or fat guys? What makes baldness such a target in your opinion? Just because it isn't a DESIREABLE trait you are considered "sub-human?" How the f*** do you know this? Because you've met a few women who have told you they don't date bald men? Or because you've read posts on the internet by unkown, anonymous women who don't like bald men? Or some vague surveys on the internet? And I'm sure you've also read all the positive posts...such as women who actually LIKE bald men (and no, its not always just SHAVED NW1's...some specifically say they like bald men if they pull off the look...which, sorry to tell you...YOU DO). But you choose to discard any positives and only soak in the negatives...and that eats away at you. WAKE UP MAN! you want to act like other people are living in denial? Let me explain to you why you are also equally in denial:
1) accepting that your suffering isn't actually due to your baldness will put you in in the position to accept responsibility for you own life and success. That is a very scary proposition for a lot of people. For you, its SO much more easy, and convenient to blame your lack of success on being bald because you can't change being bald....boom....right there, you've just developed a full-proof excuse for failure EVERY single time. You NEVER again have to blame anything other than hairloss...think of how amazingly convenient that is.
2) accepting that your suffering isn't due to baldness will mean that you have wasted essentially the last 10 years of your life without a valid reason. Rather than accept that pain, its much easier to continue believing that being bald has ruined your life rather than accepting the fact that you haven't actually needed to suffer NEARLY as much as you have.
3) being bald provides you with a great excuse not to go out and pursue women because you assume they will reject you already solely because of being bald. This is painful to you, but its a lot less painful than actually getting into another relationship and being rejected again for reasons that AREN'T due to your looks such as what happened with your ex. It also relates to the first reason...you don't need to accept the fact that women will reject you for any other reason so you have a perfect excuse. You then use partial evidence (such as internet sh*t, and YOUR interpretations of experiences with women) as evidence for why you are right. You also choose to ignore any evidence supporting the idea that bald men ARE capable of getting women because the truth of accepting personal responsibility for your own happiness and relationships will be too painful. So you come up with reasons why a bald man who is successful is the EXCEPTION to the rule, and why you could never be that exception.
It all boils down to your inability to accept responsibility for your own success and happiness in life. Think about it...would you really be able to handle the pressure if things started going well? If you COULD actually form relationships with desirable women, get a good job and he happy and successful? That fear of what would actually happen if things DID change is what holds a lot of men back. The truth is...in irony to your name...you're COMFORTABLE with your present situation because accepting that hairloss is not the be all and end all to your life would mean you have to change, and change is an incredibly frightening thing to a lot of people. So you've invented this reality in your mind and come up with all these mental tricks to shield yourself from the truth that being bald itself isn't going to ruin your chances of being happy.
You may think I'm being patronizing and that I myself am refusing to accept reality...but seriously...think about it how illogical it is to assume that YOU are the centre of people's attention wherever you go because you're bald. Even if it baldness isn't a celebrated trait, you really think that you hold enough importance to make them stop thinking about THEIR lives to focus on your bald head? Have they never seen other bald guys before in their life? Do you not think that they have bald family members, friends and even spouses?
Does this mean that every bald men gets stared at and mocked constantly? And if so...why don't I read millions of posts on the internet that express this?
So REALLY...WHY the hell do these people really care that you are bald?]try to convince me that being bald is cause enough for all these people to literally stop and STARE at you on a frequent basis. Please try to explain why it is is such a big deal to THEM because I really don't get it.