I Had An Epiphany. Confidence Does Matter, A Lot!

[Dante92]

Is this PUA crap still going on? I would have thought people may have woken up to this bullshit scam by now.

Some people would cling to anything rather than coming to terms with reality.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

http://rsdbootcamp.com/

What makes a good public speaker to you?

 

[EvilLocks]

Some people would cling to anything rather than coming to terms with reality.

Many people live in delusion, and they seem to be happier than your average realist. That said, these deluded people will most likely be forced to 'wake up' sooner or later, and reality will finally hit them in the face (hard).

 

[SmoothSailing]

Some people would cling to anything rather than coming to terms with reality.

Ignorance is bliss... for a while.

 

[Dante92]

Many people live in delusion, and they seem to be happier than your average realist. That said, these deluded people will most likely be forced to 'wake up' sooner or later, and reality will finally hit them in the face (hard).

Hit them like death in a final destination movie.

 

[hairblues]

God I hope that doesn't happen to me, would suck to be in a loveless marriage.

It may be that the guy cheated on your friend as she never gave him what he needed. She faked it for years but never truly loved him. All of the sex and affection would have been conditional and non-genuine.

You can't fake love for ten years.

No but he was so into how she looked so that was all he saw.

I also think some men think its cute when a woman is a little 'bitchy' or impatient to them or they love her more than she loves him and that is how its supposed to be.

In sitcoms you see this dynamic a lot of the hot wife and the less attractive husband who is treated like a child and lucky to have her.

Chandler and Monica from Friends is a good example of this--they always played up how she was HOT for him (even though he was a pretty good looking guy) and that she was the 'boss' of him because he was lucky to have someone so hot.

I mean you can't blame anyone but yourselves (not you just meaning 'men').

i saw DL hugly (think that is name) say on TV other day "I love my wife more and thats is how its supposed to be" and he speaks about his wife as if he is lucky to have her and like she is boss of him...it was so odd to me.. thats marriage? No thanks. He talks like he is intimidated by her.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

No but he was so into how she looked so that was all he saw.

I also think some men think its cute when a woman is a little 'bitchy' or impatient to them or they love her more than she loves him and that is how its supposed to be.

In sitcoms you see this dynamic a lot of the hot wife and the less attractive husband who is treated like a child and lucky to have her.

Chandler and Monica from Friends is a good example of this--they always played up how she was HOT for him (even though he was a pretty good looking guy) and that she was the 'boss' of him because he was lucky to have someone so hot.

I mean you can't blame anyone but yourselves (not you just meaning 'men').

i saw DL hugly (think that is name) say on TV other day "I love my wife more and thats is how its supposed to be" and he speaks about his wife as if he is lucky to have her and like she is boss of him...it was so odd to me.. thats marriage? No thanks. He talks like he is intimidated by her.

I don't know your friends, but just speaking on what you've written you're plausibly right, the man was at fault for accepting a woman who was settling. Did you see that in their dynamic over the ten years they were together?

I have a lot of concerns with how Hollywood portrays relationships, among those is what you describe from Friends. There's a whole lot of beautiful woman + high status guy dynamic, which might reflect the world of producers, writers, and directors. All of two and a half man is a good example, Charlie Sheen had a few hundred women far better looking than he is on that show. Seinfeld as well.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

No but he was so into how she looked so that was all he saw.

I also think some men think its cute when a woman is a little 'bitchy' or impatient to them or they love her more than she loves him and that is how its supposed to be.

In sitcoms you see this dynamic a lot of the hot wife and the less attractive husband who is treated like a child and lucky to have her.

Chandler and Monica from Friends is a good example of this--they always played up how she was HOT for him (even though he was a pretty good looking guy) and that she was the 'boss' of him because he was lucky to have someone so hot.

I mean you can't blame anyone but yourselves (not you just meaning 'men').

i saw DL hugly (think that is name) say on TV other day "I love my wife more and thats is how its supposed to be" and he speaks about his wife as if he is lucky to have her and like she is boss of him...it was so odd to me.. thats marriage? No thanks. He talks like he is intimidated by her.

Its a massive turn off for me to have a bitchy partner but I am pretty sure that some guys are into it.

Its probably the guys who are a bit submissive who like a bossy and dominating women

 

[Dench57]

Cucks

 

[hairblues]

Its a massive turn off for me to have a bitchy partner but I am pretty sure that some guys are into it.

Its probably the guys who are a bit submissive who like a bossy and dominating women

I don't get it to be honest. I don't get it the opposite way either though. Men who are complete dicks and the women smile and make excuses for them.
I was with someone who in the beginning i thought it was cute he was kind of bossy and territorial--meanwhile several months in he would be screaming at me for the most ridiculous sh*t. I broke it off because i actually started to get a little scared of him. And i dont scare easily. I just did not like where it was heading. Sex was freaking fantastic though. But i totally got out i saw writing on walls.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

I don't get it to be honest. I don't get it the opposite way either though. Men who are complete dicks and the women smile and make excuses for them.
I was with someone who in the beginning i thought it was cute he was kind of bossy and territorial--meanwhile several months in he would be screaming at me for the most ridiculous sh*t. I broke it off because i actually started to get a little scared of him. And i dont scare easily. I just did not like where it was heading. Sex was freaking fantastic though. But i totally got out i saw writing on walls.

I think its because power play in the bedroom is pretty hot.

I'm not sure how it works in relationships though. Maybe some people just don't like being in control.

 

[hairblues]

I think its because power play in the bedroom is pretty hot.

I'm not sure how it works in relationships though. Maybe some people just don't like being in control.

Over the years I have been involved with 3 different men in relationships who self identified as dominate men. Its not heavy its just in bedroom and its consensual..outside the relationships were normal. They were just kind of take charge but not in an obnoxious way. Al of them were clean cut professional looking side. one was in finance, one was an architect and one was a commercial producer. Totally normal in every day life and in dating. In bed they just liked being in control sexually within my limits. Not outside sexual relationship. In fact i think because they got to exercise that control aspect in bed outside of it they were pretty easy going..except the commercial producer--he was a bit of a narcissist but that is secondary to him being sexually dominate.

 

[hairblues]

I don't get it either... I see so much couples like that and I just want to tell them: uh, maybe you should stop this relationship!

People are afraid of being alone so they stay in bad sh*t.

I like being alone too much sometimes LOL so i am opposite if i am not careful.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Over the years I have been involved with 3 different men in relationships who self identified as dominate men. Its not heavy its just in bedroom and its consensual..outside the relationships were normal. They were just kind of take charge but not in an obnoxious way. Al of them were clean cut professional looking side. one was in finance, one was an architect and one was a commercial producer. Totally normal in every day life and in dating. In bed they just liked being in control sexually within my limits. Not outside sexual relationship. In fact i think because they got to exercise that control aspect in bed outside of it they were pretty easy going..except the commercial producer--he was a bit of a narcissist but that is secondary to him being sexually dominate.

Pretty much sounds like the ideal sexual situation.

 

[hairblues]

Pretty much sounds like the ideal sexual situation.

Two of those relationships were awesome not just the sex but in other areas as well just normal healthy loving caring relationships.
The 3rd relationship our personalities did not really click that well over time.

the guy yelling at me ironically was not one of them he was just an angry and bossy guy I dated years ago who was happen to be great in bed. Huge difference between him and the other men. In fact i think of all the men i was with in my life he was the only one to ever really yell at me for no real reason or make me feel afraid/nervous that he might hurt me--he was a big strong guy.
But i liked the excitement of the sex with him after he would yell at me which is a little 'sick' i admit it lol but i realized it quickly and ended it. I found a healthier way to find a sexually intense thrilling dynamic in my relationships without actually being in physical danger.

 

[Roberto_72]

Many people live in delusion, and they seem to be happier than your average realist. That said, these deluded people will most likely be forced to 'wake up' sooner or later, and reality will finally hit them in the face (hard).

This is not how the brain works, I have read.
Basically, "positive", deluded people never lose optimism even when reality bites. Their brain is used to emit "good vibes" and never stops.

This is why it's not true that very good looking people get depressed when they age. Their character and self esteem are already formed.

 

[hairblues]

This reminds me of "When prophecy fails" by Leon Festinger.

Cognitive dissonance: PUA enthusiasts could be rejected by thousands of women without losing faith in the PUA cult (because that's what it is).

It has actually already happened, the poor guys will say that those thousands of rejections were only for practice, that he was refining his skills and that one day, his game would become so sharp that he could get any woman he wants!

Some members on puahate/sluthate still haven't accepted that PUA was all a scam, they're still going out there approaching women despite the fact that they're 5'5 NW4 Asians.

Like with the sect Leon Festinger had infiltrated, we can see the madness, but they can't. So I guess reality doesn't always come back to bite you in the *** like it did with me after using natural treatments for my hair loss.

A lot of people will actually die with their delusions. You really have to wonder though, do you really want to be one of these people?

I do think PUA is a scam

But some men who are not that good looking are not intimidated by good looking women because of other areas of their life they feel strong and it bleeds over..but you cant fake it.

 

[hellouser]

This is not how the brain works, I have read.
Basically, "positive", deluded people never lose optimism even when reality bites. Their brain is used to emit "good vibes" and never stops.

This is why it's not true that very good looking people get depressed when they age. Their character and self esteem are already formed.

I would agree. I don't see many people changing their personalities / character after about 25 years of age. Once they're at that age, things are pretty much set in stone. Exceptions to the rule apply of course, but it's rare.

 

[pjhair]

Cognitive dissonance: PUA enthusiasts could be rejected by thousands of women without losing faith in the PUA cult (because that's what it is).

The only time I have seen PUA crap actually "working" is when a friend of mine approached a women who was on his level look wise. He was a 4 and got to make out with a women who was a 4. That fueled his delusion that PUA is legit and one day he will bed a 9. The only thing that these tricks do is to encourage these otherwise shy folks to put themselves out there. After that chips fall into place and people are look matched. PUA community takes the credit when a guy succeeds when it was the guys looks that got the women.

The ONLY thing a man needs to do is put himself out there and ask a women out. After that, looks will take care of you.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

D

The only time I have seen PUA crap actually "working" is when a friend of mine approached a women who was on his level look wise. He was a 4 and got to make out with a women who was a 4. That fueled his delusion that PUA is legit and one day he will bed a 9. The only thing that these tricks do is to encourage these otherwise shy folks to put themselves out there. After that chips fall into place and people are look matched. PUA community takes the credit when a guy succeeds when it was the guys looks that got the women.

The ONLY thing a man needs to do is put himself out there and ask a women out. After that, looks will take care of you.

There's a lot of hypocrisy in men who want to have sex with 9's who also think that women don't care about looks.

IMO, women care as much as men do.

The 9 might be willing to settle for an 8.