I Had An Epiphany. Confidence Does Matter, A Lot!

Afro_Vacancy

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
11,939
One of them was my ex-wife. I deeply cared about her even after our divorce. I probably still do. The other two, nothing really came out of it. I think I was too mentally fucked up due to my divorce and was not a good place to have a good relationship. But both were amazing women for sure and I wish things were different.

I miss the feeling of falling in love. Women don't allow me to come close. I've had some micro-crushes, but no love since 2007.
 

pjhair

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
2,342
Some of us wouldn't mind a 4th woman poster on here.

I'm particularly bored myself, I'm stuck in pain and in bed due to a surgery. I'm begging for entertainment :)

You had your surgery already? How did it go?
 

pjhair

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
2,342
I miss the feeling of falling in love. Women don't allow me to come close. I've had some micro-crushes, but no love since 2007.

It's amazing feeling for sure, if requited. Unrequited love can be immensely painful.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DBW

hairblues

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
8,249
Wouldn't have a picture and don't like posting personal stuff, just a random tinder girl years ago. She was like the 3 in the white top in this photo. She was sl*t and had fucked many guys as good looking or even better looking than me.

DC_wedding.jpg

Okay i think i am harder on women with the scale then you guys...the 7.5 to me was a 6.
6 to me is like pretty but average pretty but not a head turner.
 

pjhair

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
2,342
Getting slightly better everyday, but I'm still useless. I might do a writeup. There's a tiny scar near my belly button which will be invisible once my stomach hair grows back.

I'm really looking forward to exercising again.

How long is the estimated recovery time? If I remember correctly, you said that you should be able to start working out by April. That will be great. I know you have been desperate to go back to gym again.
 

pjhair

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
2,342
Yeah, quite rare, a privilege reserved for good-looking people.

Agreed. All the women I have fallen in love with in my entire life, happened to be 8 and above. So looks have a lot to do with it. It's impossible for me to be attracted to a women who doesn't fulfill my looks criteria, no matter how great a person she is.
 

Afro_Vacancy

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
11,939
How long is the estimated recovery time? If I remember correctly, you said that you should be able to start working out by April. That will be great. I know you have been desperate to go back to gym again.
Six weeks right now i have a bloated stomach, a bit of pain, and a huge itch where my scar is.

I called the resident, he said the itch is a good sign, it means the scar is healing.

The pain killer they gave me, oxycodone, is an anti-laxative, so that's annoying.
 

kj6723

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
3,986
Yeah, quite rare, a privilege reserved for good-looking people.

Similarly to what I was saying in another thread earlier, our culture has been brainwashed by Disney, etc to think we're all entitled to some fairy tale love story in our lives, and that this is the be all end all of life

Many people are doomed by their genetics to never get to experience anything close to this
 

DoctorHouse

Senior Member
Reaction score
5,725
Similarly to what I was saying in another thread earlier, our culture has been brainwashed by Disney, etc to think we're all entitled to some fairy tale love story in our lives, and that this is the be all end all of life

Many people are doomed by their genetics to never get to experience anything close to this
The reality of it all is that if you are genetically predisposed to become depressed or suffer from anxiety, you can never live happily ever after. The older you get, the more you will realize people can become more difficult as they age. I can tell you dating in your 20's is actually easier than dating in your 30's or 40's.
 

pjhair

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
2,342
Six weeks right now i have a bloated stomach, a bit of pain, and a huge itch where my scar is.

I called the resident, he said the itch is a good sign, it means the scar is healing.

The pain killer they gave me, oxycodone, is an anti-laxative, so that's annoying.

How long out of six weeks do you expect to be bed ridden? Best wishes for your recovery.
 

Bklyn_23

Experienced Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
552
As others have alluded to, basically any girl who is a 7 or better can sleep with any guy no matter how hot - has nothing to do with confidence. Now, of course confidence and charisma for a woman matters if she's trying to lock a guy down in a relationship, but for sex? As David said earlier, she just needs to be available.
 

hairblues

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
8,249
As others have alluded to, basically any girl who is a 7 or better can sleep with any guy no matter how hot - has nothing to do with confidence. Now, of course confidence and charisma for a woman matters if she's trying to lock a guy down in a relationship, but for sex? As David said earlier, she just needs to be available.

yeah but are you going to approach a socially awkward 7 in the club if she cant make eye contact or looks away? i think she is signaling she is not interested out of shyness of awkwardness and men are taking it as 'well shes not into me why go over and get rejected when her 6 friend is checking me out and giving me green light?"
 

pjhair

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
2,342
The reality of it all is that if you are genetically predisposed to become depressed or suffer from anxiety, you can never live happily ever after. The older you get, the more you will realize people can become more difficult as they age. I can tell you dating in your 20's is actually easier than dating in your 30's or 40's.

Doctor House, as an older guy, can you advise us on how easy is it to just get rid of this idea of dating altogether? Last week I was intensely anxious about something. In that extreme anxious state, I realized how much I enjoy little things like watching netflix or youtube, reading books, working out and chatting with family friends. I was so anxious that getting back to the mental state where I can start enjoying these little things seemed like heaven. So, given that you have these hobbies and have close family/friends and also retain your ability to enjoy them, can you live a happy life without a life partner? I am single right now and perfectly happy. I look forward to getting US citizenship this year and then traveling around the word after that. I have enough money to support all these hobbies. But sometimes I wonder if these things will get old with age and I will be miserable without a partner. So should I invest more time in finding a partner?
 

kj6723

Senior Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
3,986
yeah but are you going to approach a socially awkward 7 in the club if she cant make eye contact or looks away? i think she is signaling she is not interested out of shyness of awkwardness and men are taking it as 'well shes not into me why go over and get rejected when her 6 friend is checking me out and giving me green light?"

This makes sense. Honestly, if chick who's a 6 is chatting me up big time and giving me all sorts of signals that I have a shot at hooking up with her, while her slightly better looking friend doesn't even acknowledge me, I would def just settle for the 6 chick for the evening

Although most of my success is with women who fall in the 6 range, so idk, if a guy is used to success with 7+'s on a regular basis he might be more likely to take the risk and try for the seemingly uninterested but more attractive chick
 

hairblues

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
8,249
This makes sense. Honestly, if chick who's a 6 is chatting me up big time and giving me all sorts of signals that I have a shot at hooking up with her, while her slightly better looking friend doesn't even acknowledge me, I would def just settle for the 6 chick for the evening

Although most of my success is with women who fall in the 6 range, so idk, if a guy is used to success with 7+'s on a regular basis he might be more likely to take the risk and try for the seemingly uninterested but more attractive chick

its interesting really to be honest because i dont know if its an across the board kind of thing.

I personally know men who are not really considered attractive men but because of where they grew up geographically they kind of have very thick skin and have NO problem approaching model types in a club...approach 10 model types eventually one will talk to you if you have a brass-ball personality that does not give a sh*t about rejection.

but also keep in mind that a woman who is a 6 smiling across the bar or club next to a 7 who is not smiling feeling uncomfortable not making eye contact--in THAT moment of assessing which one is actually more attractive to a man? Im not talking about Sam and her friend i just mean randomly if looking across room in a dark club. the smiling girl who is dancing and comfortable I think as long as she is attractive men are going to zone in on.
IF the same two girls were at the beach--in daylight in swimsuits--this is a different story.
 

samantha3333

Established Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
339
its interesting really to be honest because i dont know if its an across the board kind of thing.

I personally know men who are not really considered attractive men but because of where they grew up geographically they kind of have very thick skin and have NO problem approaching model types in a club...approach 10 model types eventually one will talk to you if you have a brass-ball personality that does not give a sh*t about rejection.

but also keep in mind that a woman who is a 6 smiling across the bar or club next to a 7 who is not smiling feeling uncomfortable not making eye contact--in THAT moment of assessing which one is actually more attractive to a man? Im not talking about Sam and her friend i just mean randomly if looking across room in a dark club. the smiling girl who is dancing and comfortable I think as long as she is attractive men are going to zone in on.
IF the same two girls were at the beach--in daylight in swimsuits--this is a different story.

What you said makes a lot of sense.

I'll try and practice. Can't do it in a club tho lol
 

DoctorHouse

Senior Member
Reaction score
5,725
Doctor House, as an older guy, can you advise us on how easy is it to just get rid of this idea of dating altogether? Last week I was intensely anxious about something. In that extreme anxious state, I realized how much I enjoy little things like watching netflix or youtube, reading books, working out and chatting with family friends. I was so anxious that getting back to the mental state where I can start enjoying these little things seemed like heaven. So, given that you have these hobbies and have close family/friends and also retain your ability to enjoy them, can you live a happy life without a life partner? I am single right now and perfectly happy. I look forward to getting US citizenship this year and then traveling around the word after that. I have enough money to support all these hobbies. But sometimes I wonder if these things will get old with age and I will be miserable without a partner. So should I invest more time in finding a partner?
You have to learn to "let go" alot in life. Don't let society dictate who you should be or what you should do. You have more experience about marriage than I do. So you know what marriage is like. Was it for you? Its not for everyone.

You only have one life to live. If you don't want to date and deal with the games you have to play, then don't date. Honestly, I kind of like the idea of your culture taking the game out of dating and arranging a marriage but then again if you don't find the girl attractive or compatible you are going to be miserable. But that is when you hope that your parents have enough sense to fix you up with someone who is equal to your looks.

For me, I think relationships are very hard work. It will take a very special person to be able to work with you for a long time to make it work. With the right person, it would be worth it. However, I do like being independent so I would be most compatible with someone who likes the same but at times likes company.

As far as happiness, you have to define what that means to you. We all have our own definition. For me, its getting the satisfaction of helping others and making a difference in their life. And just being appreciated for my kindness. I would not be happy with someone who feels I don't deserve to be happy. I have seen women being very vindictive and that is not my nature. I avoid those women.

Traveling around the world would not get old. That is something most people should always take advantage of doing to see how other people live. Not only that but you can learn from them. You have to introduce your mind to all sorts of topics to keep your interest. Don't ever stop from doing what you want to do. Don't let anyone stand in your way.
 
Top