Think its just self esteem issues lol.
Im definitely not proud of it, i wish i cud go back to just getting off on normal stuff
I actually used to exclusively get off on raping girls in public, now its the opposite xD
OK if you're not proud of it, I just thought I'd have a little rant because S&M folk always seem to be about going one step further. Like if you're just into slapping and tying up you're a bit of a pussy, but electrocuting your balls now that's REAL stuff, respect etc. I mean it's all just bull**** really, and I think it encourages what basically is a mental dysfunction in a lot of people. The "going one step further" just leads to further extremes.
I actually think p**rn is a pretty destructive influence, especially now that it's the norm, mainly among single men but often women and sometimes couples, every time masturbating and having sex, daily, it's fine to have p**rn on, and I don't think it's healthy to rely on it like that. I don't think it's destructive for a lot of people or even most, but certainly for some they always start to need "the next thing" to get off, which ends up in more brutal types of p**rn usually, I mean should anyone really need to wank over rape p**rn? That's pretty ****ed up. But guys after a while forget how to just go from memory or imagination, when it's all put out in front of you on a screen, bent over and begging for more, your sense of reality and intimacy gets all ****ed up. It's like getting everything you need, everything you can imagine, at your finger tips, whenever you want it, after a while you start to lose touch with what really excites you.
In the same way I don't think S&M is reality, it's only a temporary fix, whatever kind of practice you're into will always need to develop and grow into the "next thing".