If full Head of Hair can't make all Tom Cruise,why expect bald to be Vin Diesel.

[CaptainForehead]

I'm a rational being who can admit when I have made a mistake

You sure you have a female brain?
:youbet:

 

[recedingyt]

You sure you have a female brain?
:youbet:

 

[Agustin Araujo]

Everyone's problems are relative, whether if they suffer from hair loss or not. No need for any belittling if someone has real problems which seem insignificant to a particular group of people.

 

[recedingyt]

Fred it's not a competition. You're the only person I've ever heard of being hospitalized because of hair loss. Clearly you have issues that most of us don't, and that's okay. I'm not trying to shame you for that, but DONT project that onto me. My breakup was/is infinitely worse for me than my hair loss. Yes it is a problem with solutions, but it's still a major problem for me.

And for my problem there may be solutions that appear easy from your perspective, but again you are not the one in love. It's easy for you to say "oh well it's easy, just move on" but it doesn't work like that in the real world. I could say the same thing about your hair loss. After all, millions of men go bald and go on living their lives as if they don't have a care in the world - why can't you? Because you're an individual and hair loss happens to be hard for you as an individual to deal with. I get it, and I'm not going to ever say you're weak for feeling that way. So don't say I'm weak for feeling the way I do about love.

You say I choose to love her... you can't be serious can you? I can't just choose to fall in love with someone. It just happens. We don't choose the ones we love. If you honestly think that, your issues clearly extend beyond the vanity of your hair. Love isn't a choice, and I can't just will it away whenever I feel like.

Everyone's problems are relative, whether if they suffer from hair loss or not. No need for any belittling if someone has real problems which seem insignificant to a particular group of people.

This sooooo much

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That's absolutely true too.

But as you know too, tell a bunch of people you lost the love of your life and now you are very depressed, what will you get? Sympathy, possibly a lot of it.

Now tell a bunch of people that you lost your hair, that you don't recognize yourself in the mirror and that you're depressed, what will you get? "Hahahaha, come on man, it's just hair!"

Am I ****ing doing that to you buddy? Am I? I feel for you on your hair loss. I've been there and I know it ****ing sucks. You have my sympathy. Why are you going to alienate a supporter because of some hypothetical situation that isn't even ****ing taking place? This is why I say you are delusional Fred. You have issues.

 

[recedingyt]

Again, how many persons have you heard about that lost all their hair from age 16 to 22? None? So maybe that's why?

But you're completely right, if I take most men I've known during my life, give them my degree of hair loss in high school, they wouldn't have been hospitalized.

They would have blown their brains out.

I LOST ALL OF MY HAIR BY THAT AGE. My hair loss was more aggressive than yours even! Did I blow my brains out? Obviously not, and it's not as if baldness was the only issue I was dealing with either. You are beyond reason.

 

[Agustin Araujo]

That's absolutely true too.

But as you know too, tell a bunch of people you lost the love of your life and now you are very depressed, what will you get? Sympathy, possibly a lot of it.

Now tell a bunch of people that you lost your hair, that you don't recognize yourself in the mirror and that you're depressed, what will you get? "Hahahaha, come on man, it's just hair!"

FredTheBelgian,

People who have never gone through hair loss just do not and will never understand how devastating it is to lose hair, and especially when it happens at a young age. From your previous post, I do agree that I despise it when people have problems with solutions make it seem worse than problems with no solutions, I've encountered that nonsense countless times. It's already been proven by science itself that hair loss has the potential to ruin anyone's life, yet it's treated as something so trivial. When I'm told "It's just hair!" I always destroy that argument when I show them the scientific importance of hair, I have never been defeated once.

 

[recedingyt]

I don't think I've said that before, but when I was hospitalized for the first time, there was only one other young guy in the clinic.

He was 26 and bald, he lost his hair during his teens. Funny coincidence. I was even so scared I would end up like him, a psychotic mess at 26 (I was 21).

Where is he now? He killed himself. The only other example I can find of someone who has been through almost exactly the same as me committed suicide.

Do you have the reading comprehension of a 4 year old? I've been through the same thing as you, worse even. NW5 at 20 years old. On top of being bald at 20 I had/have gender dysphoria, bpd, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, abusive home environment, history of sexual abuse, and relentless bullying for being LGBT (to the point of being physically assaulted at times).

And despite all of that, I was never hospitalized. Do I think that makes me "better" than you? No. Do I think that makes you less deserving of my sympathy? No. So don't act all ****ing high and mighty about how bad you have it, especially when the person you are talking to probably had it significantly worse than you did.

 

[recedingyt]

No, I'm not trying to shame you for your hospitalization in the slightest. I've tried to make it a point to say that several times in fact.

There have been times in my transition and just in my life in general where I've been so sad over everything to the point where I very easily could have ended up hospitalized myself so believe me when I say I know there is no shame in admitting you need help.

I'm just pointing out the hypocrisy in your words. You know that seemingly easy problems are not always easy to deal with and yet you belittle my experience with heartbreak and hair loss.

My point is you were acting like you're better/above me and my problems because I have an "easy" way out, when it's truly anything but easy.

 

[CaptainForehead]

But how many people on this forum started losing their hair aggressively at 16 to become basically bald at 22?

And me. Well, technically I started losing my hair aggressively at age 13, and went on rogaine at 15 (my parents would not allow me to go on it before that).

 

[EvilLocks]

And you insult my appearance on top of that? You know I'm transitioning and that it's a sensitive issue for me and you do insult me about it anyway. I could easily say something hurtful about how I probably look better as either gender than you, you know. I don't see you posting pictures of yourself so who exactly are you to judge anyway... I'm starting to remember why I stopped posting pictures here. At the end of the day I know I'm gonna be cute as **** once I get all my stuff figured out, so whatever I guess.

Where did exodus insult your appearace? Oh that's right, nowhere to be found!

 

[recedingyt]

To come back to my original comment that started this argument, we must not forget that we still had the possibility of experiencing a heartbreak.

People like Exodus didn't even get the chance to start the relationship that would have led to that heartbreak. So you can understand his point of view.

I know, I see that now. I apologized for the way I worded that. I knew it wasn't going to go over well but I didn't realize how ignorant of his side it was until after the fact. It was just a crappy thing to say and won't happen again

Maybe he'll never be at the bars picking up random chicks with nothing but his good looks, but that's not the end of the world. He can definitely still find love if he meets the right girl. I know plenty of guys who have done it... and some of these guys I'm talking about are like 300 lb behemoths with weird personalities and all sorts of other things normally considered a negative as far as physical attraction goes. I doubt Exodus is in anywhere near as bad of a position as them either so I believe in him

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Where did exodus insult your appearace? Oh that's right, nowhere to be found!

He edited it out. I assure you he did. He even sent me a pm saying sometimes he hits people's weak spots on purpose. But yea whatever I guess.

 

[CaptainForehead]

Where did exodus insult your appearace? Oh that's right, nowhere to be found!

He edited it out.

People, I confirm that Exodus did indeed insult recedingyt's appearance, while tying it to recedingyt's trans status. I saw the original post.

 

[recedingyt]

Yeah I don't want to make a big deal out of it for fear of this blowing up again though. Exodus apologized in pm and edited his post, and I apologized about saying that crappy thing I said. We're good now.

 

[Agustin Araujo]

Nice to see the heated arguments have settled down. We can all relate to each other in one way or the other; hair loss and other life problems.

 

[DoctorHouse]

I think sometime people tend to "project" what they are feeling onto someone else and sometimes the emotions backfire. Regardless, I do admire both Fred and Recedingyt for trying to make the best of whatever curves life has thrown them. I understand what its like to be abused by family and unfortunately it can really scar someone for life. We all set our values based on our own value system so there are going to be a lot of variances. The more secure you become with yourself will definitely alter your value system or at least change your perspective on it. I question myself many times why I value hair so much and the answer is based on fear. My biggest fear is looking old but unfortunately that is already happing. I have to realize I am not going to get a second chance to live my life again differently but at least I have to change my perspective and perceptions now just enough to survive. Life values are based on perspective and perceptions and sometimes they change and sometimes they don't. However, in most cases they have to change because your mental and physical health depends on it. Regardless, its nice to see a lot of people in this forum in their early 20's seem to have some great insight at such a young age and aren't afraid to admit when they are wrong.

 

[Joan]

I think sometime people tend to "project" what they are feeling onto someone else and sometimes the emotions backfire. Regardless, I do admire both Fred and Recedingyt for trying to make the best of whatever curves life has thrown them. I understand what its like to be abused by family and unfortunately it can really scar someone for life. We all set our values based on our own value system so there are going to be a lot of variances. The more secure you become with yourself will definitely alter your value system or at least change your perspective on it. I question myself many times why I value hair so much and the answer is based on fear. My biggest fear is looking old but unfortunately that is already happing. I have to realize I am not going to get a second chance to live my life again differently but at least I have to change my perspective and perceptions now just enough to survive. Life values are based on perspective and perceptions and sometimes they change and sometimes they don't. However, in most cases they have to change because your mental and physical health depends on it. Regardless, its nice to see a lot of people in this forum in their early 20's seem to have some great insight at such a young age and aren't afraid to admit when they are wrong.

I admire them too, especially Fred. I know that fear of looking old too, DH. I know mentally I'll always be young, but physically I just can't change and accept some things. I never, ever thought growing old would freak me out so much, hair loss or not. And those here who have been dealt this cruel hand of hair loss far too soon have my sympathy, the depth of which I couldn't begin to express. I don't find anyone's feelings negative, ridiculous, whatever; they're all warranted. Fred, you're right: Some people would've blown their brains out. I'm glad you've made it through and found your way to HairLossTalk.com, because I really did miss your posts when you were on your holiday.

 

[F2005]

"It's better to have lost a love, than never to have loved at all". That's a quote from Poison, one of my all time favorite bands and it really is true. These people at least know what it's like to have all of the feelings that come with being truly in love. I've had my fair share of breakups and although I may have been a bit sad at the time, each time I eventually became grateful for the experience. And I never fell into any kind of depression after a breakup. Yet hair loss has caused me to experience the most traumatic depression of my entire life, as it has for many other hair loss sufferers. Yet of course, you mention that fact to a fullhead and they will say that you are completely nuts.

Fred and Recedingyt have both had legitimate, traumatic life experiences and I sympathize with both of them. I can relate to Fred's experience with true hair loss since I suffer from it myself, albeit not in my teens. And I freely admit that had I experienced hair loss in my teens, I really would've been severely depressed and even suicidal. I'm not going to spout BS like "I would've owned it" because as a true hair loss sufferer, I truly know how debilitating it can be.

I think that what I cannot stand (and Fred and Recedingyt would perhaps agree) is when delusional people spout such ridiculous invective as "we all have problems in life", inferring that everyone's problems are equal and we just have to somehow get past them. I mean, being bored at your job or having a temporary breakup is not even close to the permanent erosion of a person's good looks, especially at a relatively young age.

Joan, I really respect your empathy towards hair loss sufferers, which I think is derived directly from your own experience with hair loss. Most women do not suffer from hair loss so they look around, see bald guy functioning in everyday life, and assume that it is no big deal. Yet I know that if these women were experiencing hair loss at a young age, they would most definitely be singing a different tune.

 

[kmm179]

Mental toll of hairloss can be unbearable. Just completely helpless. Fred and RecedingyT sounds like you guys got dealt some bad cards besides hairloss, but both sound like you have bounced back. I was so terrified when I realized I was losing hair I started to use hard drugs. Ended up getting arrested 3 times and mandated to months of treatment. I am doing better now not using. But seeing other people who suffer from hairloss and other issues who are still here and bounce back helps me out personally for some reason. When ever i used to say to my uncle I got dealt ****ty cards he'd say." ****ty cards, your just a ****ty poker player.".....

 

[Swoop]

And me. Well, technically I started losing my hair aggressively at age 13, and went on rogaine at 15 (my parents would not allow me to go on it before that).

13? That's harsh as hell man... How old now and what Norwood?

 

[CaptainForehead]

I was diffuse NW5 by 22 at which point I admitted defeat and stopped rogaine. I was NW6 by 25.