interesting video about female attraction

[KANGA]

"I used to be in your kind of mind state where I felt that you needed to be picture perfect to be with a picture perfect girl, but then I grew up... no offense "

It's ok. Your arrogance will keep the good girls away from you, and push them towards more normal guys.

You don't make any sense.

How is thinking that you don't need to be picture perfect in order to score a gorgeous woman arrogant?

And wtf is a "normal" guy?

 

[uncomfortable man]

A few weeks ago, I met this girl through mutual friends. We hung out and had a good time, I suppose. The next time I came around, she was being a little more flirty, then one night at the bar her friend tells me that she has a crush on me or something and that I should make a move. The girl that likes me even grabbed me by the cheeks and said I was so handsome. You would think that all this flattery would make me feel better, but just knowing that she would give a big "NERVERMIND" if she found out what wasn't underneath my hat....feels so terrible.

 

[s.a.f]

You dont think she already suspects whats (not) under your hat? I think most girls realise that a guy who's never seen without a hat on is probably bald. Especialy if theres no long hair protruding from underneath it.

 

[uncomfortable man]

You would be surprised at how many don't notice. No one has approached me and asked me why they never see me without a hat on. I'm sure that if they knew me long enough that the question would inevitably arise.

 

[s.a.f]

Like I said most people realise and someone who has gotten to know you is'nt likely to be rude enough to just come out and say "do you wear that hat because you're bald"?

 

[uncomfortable man]

Hell, maybe everyone knows and they are just being respectful by not making an issue of it. If this girl keeps chasing me, then I am going to have to break it to her sooner or later. Then it's sianara.

 

[s.a.f]

Well one things for sure if you continue to act like an 'uncomfortable man' around her its never going to happen anyway.
You could look like Brad Pitt but if you act shy and withdrawn - morose you'll still fail to score with women.
You could be throwing away a golden oppurtunity.
Nothing is less attractive to a woman than a man who does'nt have the confidence to actually make a play for her.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Don't get me wrong SAF, I'm not acting like a total buzzkill around her. I can be fun and clever enough, but none of that will matter when the hat comes off i'm afraid. If it gets to the point where I have to tell her, well I would rather not because then on top of getting rejected, she will tell all her girlfriends and then all the girls in that circle will know to avoid me. Either way I'm screwed, the way I look at it.

 

[Smooth]

This is what i would do, i wouldnt just take the hat off without telling her about whats underneath first, see how that works, i think if you be honest about it and explain her how you feel (also make sure you tell her that you tell every girl you meet before you take the hat off becuase you know it can bother some superficial girls) i think if you tell her this way she wont be *shocked* or whatever, and she might give you a chance...be honest about it and i think it will work out for you, you seem like a m... a person that knows how to express himself very well.. :hump:

 

[qball01]

A few weeks ago, I met this girl through mutual friends. We hung out and had a good time, I suppose. The next time I came around, she was being a little more flirty, then one night at the bar her friend tells me that she has a crush on me or something and that I should make a move. The girl that likes me even grabbed me by the cheeks and said I was so handsome. You would think that all this flattery would make me feel better, but just knowing that she would give a big "NERVERMIND" if she found out what wasn't underneath my hat....feels so terrible.

this is also in response to your other post about the bartender....

look man, I'm not saying some girls wouldnt care about you being bald...but what I think may be a much more important factor that you're missing is wearing the hat first....if a girl is turned off after she sees you with your hat off...maybe its the fact that you were covering up your baldness (which IS the main reason you wear a hat...) initially...the insecurity that is revealed by a man covering up the fact hes bald can often be far more of a turn off than the baldness itself. I really think the key for any bald guy is to go out in public with a bald head and learn to get comfortable with it....trust me, I know its hard...I often feel weird going out with a shaved head at my age but I realize that even when I wear a hat people don't treat me any differently...although often a person's mind will try to convince themselves of that, which is what I think is the case with you.

The concept of a self fulfilling prophecy isn't just something to be thrown aside...its VERY true. You definitely act (whether it is subtle or overt) in a way that throws women off when you're not wearing a hat. And you can argue that all you want but just the fact you admit how uncomfortable you feel definitely translates into how you act as well....I dunno man, as negative as I sometimes get I can't help but seeing a lot of women with bald men...whether it be guys with full heads of hair who shave it, Norwood 2, 3,4,5,6,7's who shave it....and even guys who just keep it short but not shaved. My cousin is a 34 year old Norwood 5 who is 70 pounds overweight and he has a pretty good looking girlfriend whose kind of cool. Just one of many examples.

 

[IBM]

Like I said most people realise and someone who has gotten to know you is'nt likely to be rude enough to just come out and say "do you wear that hat because you're bald"?

 

[uncomfortable man]

It is just an unfortunate game of catch 22. I could never wear a hat and become known as that bald guy and suffer all the slings and arrows that come with it, along with the female neglect. Just get used to everyone's general unacceptance of me, but everything would be laid out there on the table. Or, I could hide under a hat and avoid awkward social interactions and constant rejection and enjoy a level of general acceptance, but under false or hidden pretense. Maybe I am a coward because I choose the latter, but from my experience, whatever lack of confidence, awkwardness, fear...is justified based on how rude and offensive people have been toward me because of my baldness. Maybe I'd be more willing to go without a hat if people were more sympathetic and understanding and less judgmental assholes, but that is not the way things are so my hat stays on.

 

[qball01]

man..where do you live? If its some smalltown in the middle of nowhere USA then maybe I would understand some people being a little bit harsh...but in larger metropolitan areas, there are tonnes of people...a lot of them are bald, and I really don't think the majority of them get or even feel persecuted because of baldness....

 

[Ian Curtis]

What are those random posts for IBM?

 

[Smooth]

IBM went koko long time ago... :whistle:

 

[IBM]

That squirrel get more girls then most of us. Why? Because he gives the impression he has hair.

Hat or not people always know you're bald.

 

[barcafan]

i sometimes wonder if IBM ever has real life conversations

 

[Petchsky]

I'd rather be known as the 'bald guy' than the guy who 'always wears a hat' - Each to their own, but you need to develop a thicker skin Uman. All of these experiences you have revolve around a first impression. Something I read that was that women begin to see your face as more attractive when they like you as a person, you just have to get beyond the first impression.

Famous teachers, gurus, spiritualists etc all say that the answers you seek are inside, not outside of yourself. So, it's not society, or people, but something within yourself.

 

[KANGA]

I'd rather be known as the 'bald guy' than the guy who 'always wears a hat' - Each to their own, but you need to develop a thicker skin Uman. All of these experiences you have revolve around a first impression. Something I read that was that women begin to see your face as more attractive when they like you as a person, you just have to get beyond the first impression.

Famous teachers, gurus, spiritualists etc all say that the answers you seek are inside, not outside of yourself. So, it's not society, or people, but something within yourself.

Brilliant post.

 

[uncomfortable man]

you just have to get beyond the first impression.

But when almost 90% of these "impressions" happen in a passing glance, what opportunity do I have to convince them otherwise? There is nothing within myself that is eliciting all this negative attention. It exists despite my inner condition. The cold truth is that many people will judge and make up their mind about you based solely on what you look like within that instant "impression". It isn't fair and everyone knows that everyone else does it, but it is nowhere near as intensely felt as when it is YOU who is the one who is different.