Professor made a joke about my hairloss today

[uncomfortable man]

Well pardon me for having feelings. I have said before that I am very sensitive so just understand that much when reading my posts. Maybe I've got the Robin Williams disease.

 

[Cassin]

Well pardon me for having feelings. I have said before that I am very sensitive so just understand that much when reading my posts. Maybe I've got the Robin Williams disease.

I have feelings too but you can't go about life carrying the burden of every perceived slight. Grow thick skin and get on with life.

 

[Cassin]

Seriously? My post was ripping him a new a**h**?

 

[Cassin]

fair enough!

For the record I genuinely like UCM. Seems like a good dude...just way too sensitive. Over the postings on this an other threads I have seen a lot of good intentioned and good advice thrown his way. Aggressive at times admittedly but calm on others. Ignored too often just the same.

Sometimes people need to be grabbed by the shirt collar and shaken to be helped.

Thicken up that skin UCM and it will do you wonders. Don't give so many people so much control over your life.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I can recognize sincere help when I hear it and I appreciate and agree with your advice Cassin. Thank you Ash, for coming out with this thread and sharing your experience. If nothing else than to prove that these things DO happen, and not only to me or DM. And thanks to The Dude for chiming in, I needed a little back up.

 

[ali777]

I can recognize sincere help when I hear it and I appreciate and agree with your advice Cassin. Thank you Ash, for coming out with this thread and sharing your experience. If nothing else than to prove that these things DO happen, and not only to me or DM. And thanks to The Dude for chiming in, I needed a little back up.

Dude, this is not about you versus me and you needing a little back up. I'm just trying to help.

I'm not here to win a war or an argument.

The same goes for dudemon.

What you don't understand or prefer not to understand is that we all have problems in life. Believe me, hiding from the problems is not the solution. I'm guilty of not facing some of my problems as well... A few of my friends tried to shake me a little and every single time I talk about it, it hits a nerve but I know they are right. Let me highlight it for you, I know they are right..

If I haven't seen your picture I would believe you, but we've all seen your picture and you are a good looking man. Tall, slim, nice eyes :gay:... what else do you want? Can you not count your blessings and move on with your life?

I don't own this forum, I'm not trying to kick you out or anything. I don't understand what dudemon means by "we are out to get you". You can post as much as you want, but after a certain time it becomes clear that you don't deal with your problems. I'm gonna quote Cassin here.. "You need to grow some thick skin"...

 

[s.a.f]

As much as I sympathise with you UCman I do believe that you have been made oversensitive (overly paranoid even) by your expriences.
This story reminds me of something that happened to me, back when I was in my late 20's and a Nw5/6 I was getting some training at work on new machinery. It was me 3 other guys in their 30's and the training engineer who was in his 50's, naturally they were all NW1's.
Anyway he lifted the cover on this machine and me being at the front of the group bent over to look inside, "watch your head on that cover" he said before adding "some of us have a little less protection than others" (meaning hair).
TBH this comment did'nt bother me and I dont believe he was being malicous but he was making an observation that I was very bald at a young age.
It was only when I read this thread and tried to remember if something similar had happened to me that I thought of it.
And I consider myself as someone who is very much emotionally effected by hairloss but this incident did'nt really trouble me.
I just wonder what you would have thought in that situation.

 

[optimus prime]

As much as I sympathise with you UCman I do believe that you have been made oversensitive (overly paranoid even) by your expriences.
This story reminds me of something that happened to me, back when I was in my late 20's and a Nw5/6 I was getting some training at work on new machinery. It was me 3 other guys in their 30's and the training engineer who was in his 50's, naturally they were all NW1's.
Anyway he lifted the cover on this machine and me being at the front of the group bent over to look inside, "watch your head on that cover" he said before adding "some of us have a little less protection than others" (meaning hair).
TBH this comment did'nt bother me and I dont believe he was being malicous but he was making an observation that I was very bald at a young age.
It was only when I read this thread and tried to remember if something similar had happened to me that I thought of it.
And I consider myself as someone who is very much emotionally effected by hairloss but this incident did'nt really trouble me.
I just wonder what you would have thought in that situation.

Yea, if the guy knew it made you uncomfortable maybe he wouldn't have said anything. People just don't realise it’s an issue.

I remember when I first found out I was 'going bald', I was LOW; I had stopped shaving because I could not get out of bed on time from depression. This girl came up to me, I knew her, and she said, you have more hair on your face then you do on your head. Which of course was not true. But still...It really did not help my mood, b**ch. lol

I’m sure she wasn’t trying to offend me; she just was one of those people that say what they see. Low brain cell count I expect.

 

[Hammer87]

My opinion is simply that a professor shouldn't single out a student to comment on an individual student.

But to me, a subtble comment on my hairline/thin hair would be like her saying the desk in front of her 'is the same colour as that guy's hair' to a ginger student.- Not a big deal, doubt he'd care.

 

[s.a.f]

The effects of a comment depend on the recipients state of mind. I've seen girls get upset when being called skinny, whilst most would see it as a compliment. :dunno:

 

[uncomfortable man]

If the comment is made without prejudice and is directly related to the issue, then I can't be offended. If the comment came out of someones *** from left field as a joke, then I know they are singling me out and embarrasing me because I'm bald. I admit, many people are absolutely oblivious (which I still find rude), but it is the intentionally mean comments that I have a problem with. There are such things as assholes out there. I remember going to an open house one night at my stepson's elementary school. This was when my daughter was just a baby. This not quite middle aged couple behind us was admiring our baby. The wife was saying the usual things, but then the husband blurts out to me that my baby and I have the same hairstyle. I just gave a little uncomfortable chuckle and his wife jabbed him in the shoulder and gave him the "shush". I was irritated by his lack of sensitivity, but it's not like I was going to take it outside with him.

 

[Hammer87]

I was irritated by his lack of sensitivity, but it's not like I was going to take it outside with him.

Obviously that's a bit unpleasent. But hairloss isn't a sensitive subject to many (including obviously this guy) or something that they think they need to tip toe around.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I understand that much, but I don't think these same people would make fun of someone for their race, sexual preference, the handicapped or the physically/mentally retarded. Oh, who am I kidding. They all probably make fun of stuff like that behind closed doors, but never to their face. I guess since they consider baldness to not be a serious issue, they feel comfortable enough to joke about it in public right to a bald man's face. Still, I don't think it's right for a stranger to feel compelled to make a rude comment to someone they don't even know. I think certain people need sensitivity training, because it is not polite to try and strike up a conversation with a stranger by making their flaws the initial topic. I just think that should be common sense. But like we've already said, there are some ignorant people out there. :freak:

 

[Cassin]

Don't think about it...don't analyze it...let crap roll off you and move on. Why give people so much control over you? Seriously...who gives a sh*t what someone thinks about you?

 

[Smooth]

Because we all are "social animals" and as such we always want to make the best impprasion on eachther, i can understand where Um coming from, its easy to say "let it go" and it would hold if you hear a commet on a rare occasion, but when people keep reminding your flaws on a regular basis then its very hard to "let crap roll off you and move on", let alone when they are right, and some people are more senetive then others.

But back to the intial post, if i were you Ash, i think i'd ask to speak with the professor personaly and tell her you think her commet was not in place, and even throw a little commet, something like "not everyone is perfect you know" (you mentioned she is fat, right?! maybe it will make her sympathize with your situation),i think if you say it with the right amount of confidant then she will A) respect you more now.. and B) wont repeat her mistake again.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Because we all are "social animals" and as such we always want to make the best impprasion on eachther, i can understand where Um coming from, its easy to say "let it go" and it would hold if you hear a commet on a rare occasion, but when people keep reminding your flaws on a regular basis then its very hard to "let crap roll off you and move on", let alone when they are right, and some people are more senetive then others.

This is what I've been trying to explain here. Maybe if I lived in a log cabin, isolated from the rest of society and it's culture, then I would not be so affected by this. Because we have to live in this culture, we are subject to it's prejudice. Besides the more tangible necessities of life are the need for love and acceptance, being the "social animals" we are. To ignore or repress this need would be to deny part of our own humanity. I still realize that you can't please everyone, but this situation does make it harder to fit in as it is. I just don't know how to "not care".

 

[al613]

but then the husband blurts out to me that my baby and I have the same hairstyle.

:mrgreen: :bravo:

 

[s.a.f]

Anyway getting back to the original post:
I was watching 'the weakest link' yesterday and there was a young guy who buzzed his head on it and I could'nt believe the abuse presenter Anne Robinson gave him. the conversation went like this:

Anne: "what do you do for a living"
Guy: "I'm a salesman for a Pharmacuetical company"

Anne: "Why do you shave your head"?
guy: "Because my hairs falling out"

Annesarcasticly) "Oh dear, dont you have drugs to fix that?"
Guy: (a bit embarassed) "err, no".

Anne: "And they gave you a job, looking like that?"
Guy: "yes"

Anne: "What sort of drugs do you sell?"
Guy: "drugs for psychosis, people with mental/emotional problems"

Anne: "When your customers see you looking like that dont they think you're a patient instead of a salesman?"
Guy: "um, not really".

Anne: "Its not very good for the ladies though, having hair like that"
Guy: "err, its ok".
Anne: "Really?"

 

[Smooth]

Anyway getting back to the original post:
I was watching 'the weakest link' yesterday and there was a young guy who buzzed his head on it and I could'nt believe the abuse presenter Anne Robinson gave him. the conversation went like this:

Anne: "what do you do for a living"
Guy: "I'm a salesman for a Pharmacuetical company"

Anne: "Why do you shave your head"?
guy: "Because my hairs falling out"

Annesarcasticly) "Oh dear, dont you have drugs to fix that?"
Guy: (a bit embarassed) "err, no".

Anne: "And they gave you a job, looking like that?"
Guy: "yes"

Anne: "What sort of drugs do you sell?"
Guy: "drugs for psychosis, people with mental/emotional problems"

Anne: "When your customers see you looking like that dont they think you're a patient instead of a salesman?"
Guy: "um, not really".

Anne: "Its not very good for the ladies though, having hair like that"
Guy: "err, its ok".
Anne: "Really?"

This is a them ritual; Anne would bash him for whatever she can (if for example he had a huge ears, or a brokennose or something...), admitingly hair loss is way easier to pick on tho ...just proves how shallow these tv shows are... :thumbdown2: (..and us for watching them )

 

[Hammer87]

I had a friend who went on the Weakest Link. It's all part of the those and to give Anne Robinson the effect of being scary. She explains to them before hand any comments she may make and tells them it's not personal. My friend had her flowery dress taken the piss out of.

So even though it does appear harsh, the contestants are told about it before hand, and if they really object she won't say anything.