Reactivated My Dating Profiles, Trying To Be Enthusiastic Without Being Obsessed

[cantara]

Lookswise, especially in our 30s, the bottom woman is the only realistic person in terms of looks.

Obviously not smart enough for someone like you - I think you'd need someone who could keep up with your mind (your intelligence may even work against you in terms of dating).

She has a friendly face, which is - in addition to being a girl - enough for many guys to give her the benefit of the doubt and at least sh*g her. I'm the exception, I may not be much better looking than her (if at all), but I'd not even meet her. Now I could praise myself for being a good example for men not setting a standard that girls have got used to (and spoilt by), but that's not it, I'm just not attracted at all. I'd rather pay for a girl I find hot.In the end, I'm pretty much like most girls: average looking but genuinely attracted to only the top 10-20 % of the opposite sex. Practically all the guys I know (also the ones 6-8) have a much more generous taste by nature: give them a somewhat appealing shape (i.e. no fatties) and a friendly smile and they are potentially interested. I really wish women were more like them and less like me.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

She has a friendly face, which is - in addition to being a girl - enough for many guys to give her the benefit of the doubt and at least sh*g her. I'm the exception, I may not be much better looking than her (if at all), but I'd not even meet her. Now I could praise myself for being a good example for men not setting a standard that girls have got used to (and spoilt by), but that's not it, I'm just not attracted at all. I'd rather pay for a girl I find hot.In the end, I'm pretty much like most girls: average looking but genuinely attracted to only the top 10-20 % of the opposite sex. Practically all the guys I know (also the ones 6-8) have a much more generous taste by nature: give them a somewhat appealing shape (i.e. no fatties) and a friendly smile and they are potentially interested. I really wish women were more like them and less like me.

You've got a bit of a problem then because you two would be looksmatched.

I think this is the problem with a lot of men are 5 or 6 on the looks scale - they don't want to settle with an average looking person even if they are average themselves.

Its not a criticism from me but I think its important to highlight the issue.

 

[cantara]

You've got a bit of a problem then because you two would be looksmatched.

I think this is the problem with a lot of men are 5 or 6 on the looks scale - they don't want to settle with an average looking person even if they are average themselves.

Its not a criticism from me but I think its important to highlight the issue.

Trust me, I‘m fully aware of that. I‘ve never found a girl in, let alone below my league attractive, even when having chemistry with some. So I also know this is my problem with women, not how I behave around them, as there have occasionally been some from those leagues who’d show an interest. Question is: what can you do?

 

[CaptainForehead]

View attachment 83781

The second shows a woman who is practically goddess level. It's not just that I'll never date her, I'll probably never interact with her at all. I don't see women that hot ... practically ever. They're probably all exceedingly wealthy, they work in either medicine, management, or finance or even don't work, they live in richer neighborhoods, etc. Also, her picture is bothering me because she's wearing white (which gets dirty easily) yet she's interacting with her dog. She can probably spend several thousand dollars a year on dry-cleaning and not notice. Maybe she spends over $10,000/year on clothing. I wonder how much she spent on that handbag? Her dog plausibly gets more expensive and more detailed haircuts than I do.

From that pic, I don't see her as goddess tier at all. She is white, skinny, and blonde with a pretty face. Her clothes give an illusion of her being tall. Within that ethnicity, above average, but not like top 10% . You'll encounter more goddess tier women in many European countries, traveling by train. Especially if you go to countries where the average height is more.
Reminds me, some weeks ago I was at a metro station in Spain. Average looking folks, not tall. There was one couple with a small kid, going to the airport (backpack and all). I think from Netherlands. Both tall, blonde. Aryan type. Both the woman and the guy smoked any of the locals. Ethnicity matters.

I saw this girl (small bit part) in an episode of ncis:

PS: On it being so easy for some...

 

[cantara]

From that pic, I don't see her as goddess tier at all. She is white, skinny, and blonde with a pretty face. Her clothes give an illusion of her being tall. Within that ethnicity, above average, but not like top 10% . You'll encounter more goddess tier women in many European countries, traveling by train. Especially if you go to countries where the average height is more.
Reminds me, some weeks ago I was at a metro station in Spain. Average looking folks, not tall. There was one couple with a small kid, going to the airport (backpack and all). I think from Netherlands. Both tall, blonde. Aryan type. Both the woman and the guy smoked any of the locals. Ethnicity matters.

I saw this girl (small bit part) in an episode of ncis:
View attachment 83840

In the end, that‘s not even that decisive. Important is that she meets the threshold in terms of looks for most likely every guy. Normally 7+ does the trick. Also for guys, as a 7 you are likely to be at least considered so other factors can come into the equation. If you are 1-6, those factors won‘t matter, certainly not romantically, and not to girls who can actually get 6.5-10s. I can‘t blame them.

 

[CaptainForehead]

Batman:

Look at his cut forearms. Genetically gifted I bet.

 

[cantara]

By the way, Captain: I can tell our preferences are different. You seem to prefer tall, blond girls, whereas the girls that normally catch my eye are short, (very) pretty/cute brunettes. However, I'd bet that many girls we find attractive within our respective taste would to the trick for both of us - simply because they meet the threshold, and that threshold is more objective than we'd like to think for our own sake.

 

[blackg]

Batman:

Look at his cut forearms. Genetically gifted I bet.

Oldcel.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Trust me, I‘m fully aware of that. I‘ve never found a girl in, let alone below my league attractive, even when having chemistry with some. So I also know this is my problem with women, not how I behave around them, as there have occasionally been some from those leagues who’d show an interest. Question is: what can you do?

Theres not much you can do.

I wont say you are doomed but unless you settle you will be single for a long, long time.

Women tend to date across or up (hypergamy) so unless you bring something else huge to the table then you are unlikely to get the top tier women.

 

[cantara]

Theres not much you can do.

I wont say you are doomed but unless you settle you will be single for a long, long time.

Women tend to date across or up (hypergamy) so unless you bring something else huge to the table then you are unlikely to get the top tier women.

I won't (and can't) challenge you on that. As regards the hypergaming: in all my environment and my best friend's environment couples are either matches or the guy is either better looking and/or brings more to the table (while still at least equally good looking as the girl) than their female partner. So I'm single and not lamenting, because I understand women 7+ prefer others. I just catch myself wishing I were a 7-8, as my other qualities would be in very high demand with many girls, also the really attractive ones. I'll never settle but keep trying to go after the ones that are not as mainstream hot as most girls I like but that I still manage to see something in. You can imagine that there are very few of them to begin with. I've noticed that I'm not as body-oriented as other men. If a girl has a really pretty face and maybe more robust thighs than some men can accept, then I'm still potentially interested. However, a super fit body alone does nothing for me.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

I won't (and can't) challenge you on that. As regards the hypergaming: in all my environment and my best friend's environment couples are either matches or the guy is either better looking and/or brings more to the table (while still at least equally good looking as the girl) than their female partner. So I'm single and not lamenting, because I understand women 7+ prefer others. I just catch myself wishing I were a 7-8, as my other qualities would be in very high demand with many girls, also the really attractive ones. I'll never settle but keep trying to go after the ones that are not as mainstream hot as most girls I like but that I still manage to see something in. You can imagine that there are very few of them to begin with. I've noticed that I'm not as body-oriented as other men. If a girl has a really pretty face and maybe more robust thighs than some men can accept, then I'm still potentially interested. However, a super fit body alone does nothing for me.

It also gets worse as we get older in finding a partner because most of them have kids by now.

You say you are 36 - do you have kids?

 

[cantara]

It also gets worse as we get older in finding a partner because most of them have kids by now.

You say you are 36 - do you have kids?

No! And even more of a target for single moms (particularly the 1-4 range) and only them due to job and lack of financial and emotional liabilities.

 

[CopeForLife]

@WhitePolarBear @Xander94

 

[JohnsonDDG]

No! And even more of a target for single moms (particularly the 1-4 range) and only them due to job and lack of financial and emotional liabilities.

Better off single than being the beta providers.

f***, its tough out there!

 

[cantara]

Better off single than being the beta providers.

f***, its tough out there!

The thing is: I really take pleasure in materialistic stuff and I'd never want to sacrifice them for somebody that feels like settling to me: nice car, clothes (I spend over 1k per month on it, sometimes much more than that), nice apartment, exclusive watches, nice city trips, 8+ escorts etc.. Some would say I'm compensating, I may be and I'm certainly coping, but it does give me pleasure and I hope it lasts. Some say I should promote those things more (except for the hookers obviously), others say women may be put off (by things such as impeccable dressing, emphasis on expressing myself eloqently in my language), but I disagree: enough women like me as company, and many would consider me as a romantic option, if they liked my looks.

Also bear in mind: in Switzerland very few people (the single moms mentioned) struggle financially, in fact most do pretty well (particularly in Zurich), including women. So except for maybe some single mothers, they are free to place utmost importance on looks with guys. Add to that the general hypergaming culture, how women's self-perception is infuenced by the lack of balance especially in online dating, men's relative generosity/randomness, you can see where I stand. It's very interesting that even with German women (who you'd expect to be the same or at least very similar) my chances have proven to be better. Some of them who've shown an interest didn't happen to be my type, but at least with them I was able to see how others could find them attractive.

 

[CaptainForehead]

The thing is: I really take pleasure in materialistic stuff and I'd never want to sacrifice them for somebody that feels like settling to me: nice car, clothes (I spend over 1k per month on it, sometimes much more than that), nice apartment, exclusive watches, nice city trips, 8+ escorts etc.. Some would say I'm compensating, I may be and I'm certainly coping, but it does give me pleasure and I hope it lasts. Some say I should promote those things more (except for the hookers obviously), others say women may be put off (by things such as impeccable dressing, emphasis on expressing myself eloqently in my language), but I disagree: enough women like me as company, and many would consider me as a romantic option, if they liked my looks.

Also bear in mind: in Switzerland very few people (the single moms mentioned) struggle financially, in fact most do pretty well (particularly in Zurich), including women. So except for maybe some single mothers, they are free to place utmost importance on looks with guys. Add to that the general hypergaming culture, how women's self-perception is infuenced by the lack of balance especially in online dating, men's relative generosity/randomness, you can see where I stand. It's very interesting that even with German women (who you'd expect to be the same or at least very similar) my chances have proven to be better. Some of them who've shown an interest didn't happen to be my type, but at least with them I was able to see how others could find them attractive.

How often do you visit escorts?

 

[Xander94]

 

[Xander94]

@WhitePolarBear @Xander94

f*****g ideal wife and Dom Orthodox warrior

 

[CopeForLife]

f*****g ideal wife and Dom Orthodox warrior

rate them in their prime

 

[cantara]

How often do you visit escorts?

1-3 times a month, and in Switzerland you can get quite some quality for 150-300 per half an hour. It‘s nothing I‘m proud of, but nothing I‘m ashamed of either. It does cloud your judgment for what‘s realistic though, can‘t deny that.