Reactivated My Dating Profiles, Trying To Be Enthusiastic Without Being Obsessed

[Exodus2011]

Honestly I like the forum better without all the not-so-subtle white nationalism and race baiting. I don't come here for politics or bitter arguments.

wait who was white nationalist here?

 

[IdealForehead]

wait who was white nationalist here?

You, Exo. It was always you.

 

[Chromedome1990]

Honestly I like the forum better without all the not-so-subtle white nationalism and race baiting. I don't come here for politics or bitter arguments.

Care to name some actual examples?

 

[Exodus2011]

You, Exo. It was always you.

lol really? idk if i count as one or not. whites are beautiful and white culture is amazing and both should definitely be preserved but since im not white im not big into the movement. also of course i dont support using white nationalism to justify hurting non whites

 

[blackg]

... Anyway we're meeting Wednesday, we both like a place that I have not been to in a year. She looks like she has a great rack too, but it's hard to tell for sure because her pictures are blurry.
.

I hope to God she never reads this.

 

[blackg]

Isnt he like 36?

You can still spread your seed at 36.

 

[blackg]

Here's the approximate pinnacle of male fashion:

.... from 1975.

 

[cantara]

View attachment 85804
From 1975.

https://eu.suitsupply.com/de/knitwear

I recommend anyone to just keep checking out their stuff and keep it a tad more conservative if you think some of their combinations are a little over the top.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

https://eu.suitsupply.com/de/knitwear

I recommend anyone to just keep checking out their stuff and keep it a tad more conservative if you think some of their combinations are a little over the top.

They look pretty good actually.

Note that good fashion is only really possible if you're sufficiently thin and high-income.

Form-fitting, $100 shirt:

If you're fat, don't even bother buying nicer clothes in my opinion. Maybe head over to the intermittent fasting thread and put it off for 3 or 4 months.

 

[cantara]

They look pretty good actually.

Note that good fashion is only really possible if you're sufficiently thin and high-income.

You can't pull this off if you're fat:
View attachment 85805

I agree, and at least being somewhat slim is achievable for pretty much anyone and should be the goal, if you have some expectations appearance-wise in girls.
Not sure about high-income though. Suitsupply are affordable, and there are cheaper brands like Massimot Dutti or even Zara or H&M that can help you dress fashionably. I occasionally buy from them as well, if it's not for shoes or formal stuff (dress shirts, suits etc.).
Again, an affordable option for shoes that will set you apart from most guys (especially in the US, no offence): www.meermin.es

Not sure if it makes a difference with women, of course. My friend and I keep joking that if our faces were only remotely as good as our clothing, we'd be huge hits with girls. But it feels great dressing well, at least to me - and I don't even think it's coping, I've always liked it.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I agree, and at least being somewhat slim is achievable for pretty much anyone and should be the goal, if you have some expectations appearance-wise in girls.
Not sure about high-income though. Suitsupply are affordable, and there are cheaper brands like Massimot Dutti or even Zara or H&M that can help you dress fashionably. I occasionally buy from them as well, if it's not for shoes or formal stuff (dress shirts, suits etc.).
Again, an affordable option for shoes that will set you apart from most guys (especially in the US, no offence): www.meermin.es

Not sure if it makes a difference with women, of course. My friend and I keep joking that if our faces were only remotely as good as our clothing, we'd be huge hits with girls. But it feels great dressing well, at least to me - and I don't even think it's coping, I've always liked it.

Good post and I generally agree.

Except for the part about Zara. Their clothes are indeed cheap, and they can look nice in the store, but in my experience they lose their shape quickly. The cheapness is thus not actually real, as they need to be replaced quickly.

It's true that Americans generally dress less nicely. Running shoes are frequently worn outside of an exercise context, and both shirts and pants tend to be extremely loose.

 

[cantara]

Good post and I generally agree.

Except for the part about Zara. Their clothes are indeed cheap, and they can look nice in the store, but in my experience they lose their shape quickly. The cheapness is thus not actually real, as they need to be replaced quickly.

It's true that Americans generally dress less nicely. Running shoes are frequently worn outside of an exercise context, and both shirts and pants tend to be extremely loose.

Totally agree that Zara's quality is poor - it's really just one-season-then-throw-it-away-stuff.
I've noticed the same about the US, even in NYC they'd ask if we were gay, just because we were wearing things more tightly. Having said that, there are guys who overdo it here with the skinny fit and ignore their bodies' deficiencies completely, that can be rather unflattering as well.

 

[CopeForLife]

Yeah but what you're saying comes from your admitted self esteem problems. You should also know from everything you've said, especially pre-hair loss, a large percent of women have found you very attractive. Not many men can ever claim that at any point in their lives.

You are an objectively attractive and physically above average man. Had you hopped on finasteride ASAP like DaveSmith you'd still be coasting in that near top tier of men. You've dropped a bit in the ranks due to your hair loss, but you're still well above average.

I'm not saying you're a movie star or anything. I'm saying I don't think it matters if you're a movie star or not.

ie. Would it really matter in your happiness if you made 150k/year vs. 1.5 million/year? It really shouldn't. If you can't be happy at 150k, you're not going to be happy at 1.5 million.

It's the same with looks. You don't need to be Brad Pitt to have a great dating life. Looks like yours are more than enough. If you can't make that work, then there's something else missing.

When you were 25 and full-headed, I can only imagine what it was like for you. I bet even just going to a bar for a drink would have been fun.

his lays were suprisingly average though

 

[CopeForLife]

On this forum, through the years, we've had multiple women come through and say that they had not been on a date in months/years. These women were actually attractive, they were just busy doing other things.

they were constantly being hit by jocks, though

evilfraud had mature chad and healthy sexual life

pasfraudbrunette had a writer hit on her and he even mentioned her in his book

hairblues in her 40-s had insane success on Tinder

 

[IdealForehead]

his lays were suprisingly average though

He says he doesn't care how pretty a girl is. He's more impressed by intelligence and success. And i believe him. All his exes would have had very impressive resumes from what he says.

 

[CopeForLife]

He says he doesn't care how pretty a girl is. He's more impressed by intelligence and success. And i believe him. All his exes would have had very impressive resumes from what he says.

Yes they looked intelligent based on looks.

 

[doubleindemnity]

They may have just been in the mood for a night out and you were the first guy down the list who didn't exhibit red flags. They may have just been bored. A first date is a good sign, but not a fantastically good one.

Other than that, your photos are good enough to get you some sort of opportunity, which is good to know. Given that you're a good looking man, I am inclined to assume that your issues are social, which in your case is plausibly your high intensity.


You're basically not dating at all from the sound of it. Women meet you and show no interest. It could be a coincidence, you should get a sample size of 10-20 to know for sure. If it doesn't work by that point, take an extended break.

I don't mean learn Galois theory in the literal sense. You can do whatever you want to actualize yourself, to explore yourself and to build more of an identity. It is certainly the case that women can smell desperation and lack of identity, they don't need superpowers to do so as many men make it extremely obvious. You have admitted that you are aggressive with women, that you work hard, you pester them until they agree to meet you, that's not good.

What hobby would you like to pick up if you had a bit more time? If you can't answer that question, then you're in a disastrous situation mentally and you need more time to explore yourself.


You're not going to lose all of your muscles after three weeks off.


There are plenty of additional things that you can do.

You can get better clothes (are any of your clothes tailored?), you can get braces if you need them. Do you always wear belts that are the same colors as your shoes? Do you have nice belts and nice shoes? Do you wear used running shoes to work? Do you wear white socks with sandals? I saw some pictures, and you were wearing solid-colored t-shirts. Try getting dress shirts. Here's the approximate pinnacle of male fashion:
View attachment 85801
No t-shirt is visible under the collar. Dress shirt and sweater with the colors being complementary. The dress shirt has stripes but not the sweater (you don't want too much stimulation). They are form fitted, maybe slightly loose but close enough. The sleeves are rolled up (correctly), to show off arm hair and forearm muscle -- which women love and you have in abundance.

Dancing / martial arts / etc are a good way to improve body language. A guy I know took dance classes in graduate school as a deliberate part of his self-created therapy to be less autistic. He wanted to "not move like a gangly nerd".

As for finasteride and minoxidil -- lol. Seriously man? How much minoxidil are you using? Have you considered micro needling? RU 58841? S-equol? Retinol? Do you have an anti-inflammatory component?

I'm not good looking. I took photos once per week every week for around 8 months before I got one that reached over 80% on Photofeeler. It was all about the dim lighting and beard length. I don't even like my beard but I don't have a choice. By my count, I've tested around 80 photos on there so far and only have two reliably good dating photos. So no I am not good looking at all. I'm just a good/lucky photographer. I can even send you a photo of what I look like day to day. I'm not tall with a NW2 like you.

I don't appreciate that tone. This time last year, I had two women invite me to their home in a 4 week period. I also reached the bedrooms of two different women last year. One of those situations was all thanks to my own moxie. One good date per 12 (on average) isn't so bad. It's not a competition, but you haven't been that far, have you? So please be a little more respectful to others who are trying; that's all that I ask.

I'm not aggressive with women and don't pester them. But why is any of that 'not good'? The only thing that can be good or not good are results. That's why I feel like it's such an aberration that a woman recently snubbed me for going for a makeout. It's all formulaic but if I've spent the time to chat to them and they've said yes to a date then yes I will bother them a bit to make sure that they're not interested. It's gotten me many dates. These women are sometimes just busy. They're not even there for free stuff either; most of these women are happy to pay for themselves. Finally, with my formulaic approach, I get fewer cancellations that you do. And I'm dating ambitious working women too, some who only go out once per week (and choose the date with me).

I am only going to answer those questions in relation to the clothing that I wear on dates. I do have nice shoes; they have been complimented multiple times, actually. The shoes do match my belt in all cases. That's not the pinnacle of male fashion at all. I tested it a little myself and the dates that I've gone on with a button down shirt always went badly. Maybe it's because I looked overdressed and too smart. The model in that photo looks stylish because of his hair; that's all. With clothing, one needs to be a little bit more trashy/sleazy. Think a blazer with a t-shirt, if you're bold enough to wear it. Also, try to wear one nice, gaudy accessory. That would be a wristband, necklace, ring etc. Anyway, for the dates that went well for me, I was wearing a nice pair of shoes or a cheap looking pair of boots (effective only because they gave me extra height), a solid colored t-shirt and either a smart sweatshirt/cardigan or a hooded one. Seriously I never did well wearing smart clothes. As for dress shirts, I really like them and would like to wear them but they don't fit me properly. If they fit the neck, they're too big on the shoulders or if they fit the shoulders, they're too small for the neck. They're built for tall, slim men (guys like you). I can't afford to be slim; having muscles always gave me more success than being lean. So yes clothing doesn't matter. Cheap junk clothes have always worked better.

Dates are done sitting down or walking. Dancing/martial arts etc. are definitely worth exploring, but you're grasping at straws in suggesting that they could help a guy in dating. This is cruel to say but I wouldn't expect a NW2 guy who can reasonably claim to be 6'1" to understand. You'd have no trouble if you were my age.

I haven't considered micro needling yet because Fred used to say that it's not worth the time. I'm scared of RU sides just as I am with finasteride. I don't know what you mean by anti inflammatories so please elaborate. I'm keeping up with a skincare regimen but that has never mattered before. And minoxidil wins in the end when it comes to your skin.

 

[kj6723]

Any news on the ban of @WhitePolarBear? The ban thread has vanished.

We do need some info on if his ban is permanent or wtf is going on

He's too important to this place for his banning to just be swept under the rug or blow over

#freewhitepolarbear

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I'm not good looking. I took photos once per week every week for around 8 months before I got one that reached over 80% on Photofeeler. It was all about the dim lighting and beard length. I don't even like my beard but I don't have a choice. By my count, I've tested around 80 photos on there so far and only have two reliably good dating photos. So no I am not good looking at all. I'm just a good/lucky photographer. I can even send you a photo of what I look like day to day. I'm not tall with a NW2 like you.

I don't appreciate that tone. This time last year, I had two women invite me to their home in a 4 week period. I also reached the bedrooms of two different women last year. One of those situations was all thanks to my own moxie. One good date per 12 (on average) isn't so bad. It's not a competition, but you haven't been that far, have you? So please be a little more respectful to others who are trying; that's all that I ask.

I'm not aggressive with women and don't pester them. But why is any of that 'not good'? The only thing that can be good or not good are results. That's why I feel like it's such an aberration that a woman recently snubbed me for going for a makeout. It's all formulaic but if I've spent the time to chat to them and they've said yes to a date then yes I will bother them a bit to make sure that they're not interested. It's gotten me many dates. These women are sometimes just busy. They're not even there for free stuff either; most of these women are happy to pay for themselves. Finally, with my formulaic approach, I get fewer cancellations that you do. And I'm dating ambitious working women too, some who only go out once per week (and choose the date with me).

I am only going to answer those questions in relation to the clothing that I wear on dates. I do have nice shoes; they have been complimented multiple times, actually. The shoes do match my belt in all cases. That's not the pinnacle of male fashion at all. I tested it a little myself and the dates that I've gone on with a button down shirt always went badly. Maybe it's because I looked overdressed and too smart. The model in that photo looks stylish because of his hair; that's all. With clothing, one needs to be a little bit more trashy/sleazy. Think a blazer with a t-shirt, if you're bold enough to wear it. Also, try to wear one nice, gaudy accessory. That would be a wristband, necklace, ring etc. Anyway, for the dates that went well for me, I was wearing a nice pair of shoes or a cheap looking pair of boots (effective only because they gave me extra height), a solid colored t-shirt and either a smart sweatshirt/cardigan or a hooded one. Seriously I never did well wearing smart clothes. As for dress shirts, I really like them and would like to wear them but they don't fit me properly. If they fit the neck, they're too big on the shoulders or if they fit the shoulders, they're too small for the neck. They're built for tall, slim men (guys like you). I can't afford to be slim; having muscles always gave me more success than being lean. So yes clothing doesn't matter. Cheap junk clothes have always worked better.

Dates are done sitting down or walking. Dancing/martial arts etc. are definitely worth exploring, but you're grasping at straws in suggesting that they could help a guy in dating. This is cruel to say but I wouldn't expect a NW2 guy who can reasonably claim to be 6'1" to understand. You'd have no trouble if you were my age.

I haven't considered micro needling yet because Fred used to say that it's not worth the time. I'm scared of RU sides just as I am with finasteride. I don't know what you mean by anti inflammatories so please elaborate. I'm keeping up with a skincare regimen but that has never mattered before. And minoxidil wins in the end when it comes to your skin.

There's plenty written on this forum about alternatives to finasteride and minoxidil. Please look it up, such as the ones I posted. Fear of RU sides is irrational as people do not report persistent side effects from RU. If you get sides on RU you can lower the dose and/or stop taking RU, which is not always an option for finasteride as the sides are dose-independent and may persist after stopping the drug.

For your clothes, this has come up before on here as an issue for buff guys. You have a non-standard body type due to your gym body, your waist might be size small, and your shoulders and chest might be size large. You have no option but to get them tailored, basically. However it's a good option as it will emphasize your looks. So you should go to a tailor and discuss the issue with him.

You are mistaken for focusing on cancellations from small sample sizes -- I would expect better judgment from a science major. One of them cancelled on me two weeks ago, saying that she was sick, and is now meeting me tonight. Do you know what that means? It means that she was sick two weeks ago. It doesn't have anything to do with me. People cancel when they're sick, I cancel when I'm sick. The fact that you think it does is an indicator that you should reflect on your judgment. You're trying to assign everything to your actions/looks (and now projecting that onto me), when in fact a lot of the variance is stochastic in nature and external to us.

Perhaps my speculations are inaccurate. I suspect that you are too intense, and too aggressive. But I'll defer to @shookwun 's judgment, as he's our greatest expert.

 

[The Curse of Dolkite]

Do you like Huey Lewis And The News? Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

In the novel, Bateman briefly worries about going bald after his girlfriend asks him if his hair is thinning. The novel is in the first person, and Bateman assures the audience that his hair is "very thick" but still plans on getting some expensive hair treatment products in the next day or two.

At another point in the novel (I've read it several times; it's very funny if you understand it's told from Bateman's point of view), Bateman freaks out upon exiting a club to find that it's raining and he thinks "Oh my god, my HAIR...."