The Frequent "official" Origin Of My Recent Failures With Women

[CopeForLife]

I'm getting overrated here.

I've been rated from 4,5/10 to 8/10.

The truth must be in the middle, roughly 6,25/10.

Ah that Italian girl, good times, I would bring up the fact that I was bald at only 23 (she was 26) and her reaction was:

"But you're cute so it doesn't matter!"

*finishes his beer* "We go to your place?" "OK "

his?

 

[Xander94]

It's the only reason why le petit french girl came back here after "announcing" she would have left the forum for good. No chad to f*** her depression out at the moment.

hahahaha you are brutal dude

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Let the deconstruction begin. This article by this entitled woman is long, very long, full of self-righteous whining lacking in self-awareness. It may take me a while to fully dissect it.

http://forward.com/scribe/372514/an-insiders-guide-to-staying-sane-on-jswipe/

An Insider’s Guide To Staying Sane On JSwipe

You're not an "insider", you're a moderately-experienced user. Words matter and you should use them properly.

Just over a year ago, I was a nervous wreck. I was set to move to a new city over 2,000 miles away for my last summer internship before my senior year of college. The number of people I knew there could be counted on a single hand.

OMG, you were travelling to a new city for a few months, you had an internship after having had previous internships, you were finishing college, and you had a handful of friends.

There's nobody who has suffered more than you have.

Inspired by friends, I made a J Swipe account. It seemed like a great way to meet more people in a new city while going on fun dates.

I thought you were lacking friends?

Within weeks, I wished I consulted a guide online on how to navigate J Swipe. At first, it drove me crazy the amount of mind games I ended up playing —there was a reason I studied business in school and not psychology. To save you confusion and stress, I’ve written a guide that has never appeared on my newsfeed. The anecdotes shared in this guide are both my own experiences as well as my friends’ respective adventurous stories on the app.

Just FYI business includes psychology.

11) Update your location distances
Make sure your distance is set for guys you actually could potentially see. Remember that major cities have suburbs, and most public transportation from the city to the suburbs is a pain in the butt to use. It will only get your hopes let down if you really like a guy you’re messaging but realize he is 30 miles away.

This shouldn't need to be explained.

10) Don’t overthink your profile
My first profile description resembled more of my public Twitter account than my personal Instagram account. I wanted to impress the guys—after all, as any girl I would think, I was not any “typical girl” on J Swipe. Therefore, I wanted my profile so somehow convey that I was a strong, independent young woman. What I found, though, was that I was matching with the wrong guys. These guys thought they knew me based on this profile description of what I did—not who my character was.

Huh? What are you even talking about?

Messaging first?

I am not sure what the psychology is behind who messages who first. Is it the guy’s job? Is it the girl’s? What does society say? Frankly, it doesn’t matter. If a guy is super interested, he will message you first. And if a guy is shy, then maybe he won’t message you first. Regardless, if you are interested in a guy, play to your confidence and message him. If he is interested, he’ll respond. If not—go message another.

A guy doesn't need to be "super-interested" to message you first. He might just be bored.
If he doesn't respond, he might just be busy rather than uninterested.

9) They never look like their pictures
They never do. ‘Nuff said. Snapchat is a better way to see what they really look like.

I look exactly like my pictures, as do some of my friends. My advice is that there might be something wrong with you and your judgment if you only end up with guys who don't look like their photos.

In my own experience, some girls look like their photos, and some don't. If I *never* met a woman who looked like her photos, I wouldn't assume that something is wrong with all women, I'd assume that something is wrong with me for always having bad judgment.

7) Don’t get your hopes up
I’ll admit that it’s always exciting when matching with an Israeli. It is extra exciting when he wants to go on a date with you. Whether fortunately or unfortunately, I did not hit it off with the particular Israeli that seemed profile-perfect. He was an entrepreneur, and we had a bunch of mutual AIPAC friends on Facebook. It was clear that he was into me based on my first profile, the one that was more like my show-off Twitter public profile. During the “date,” the guy began to talk to me about drugs. I got high on clean oxygen when hiking; he got high on weed when hiking. To each their own.

Fair enough.

6) The ‘And-You’ Factor
The And-You-Factor weeds out the selfish, self-centered guys. Time after time, this rule seems to find the gems. This rule applies after a guy answers your question about himself. After answering, does he ask “and what about you?” It is not your responsibility to feign interest and ask about him the whole time you are together nor is it your responsibility to maintain the conversation. If he is not asking you questions back to keep the conversation going, then I don’t suggest another date.

The advice given to men is to let women talk about themselves lol.

5) Treatment of the Waiter
You can always tell the true character of a person based on his or her treatment of certain people. For example, how does the guy treat the waiter taking your order or the busboy pouring more water into his glass? Pay attention. Bookend the first date.

Treatment of the waiter is something that a lot of women claim to care about in the abstract.

One of the most awkward dates I had was at the We Work in the financial district of the city. It was a gorgeous space, where they had free beer and inspiring decorations on each floor. Just walking around, I realized what I was missing out on in my own corporate office space a block away.

The mistake I learned on this date was to bookend a date. This means that prior to starting the date, set a limit so that it is not awkward if you want to end the date. Moreover, this is especially important if there is no clear ‘end point’ during the date. An ‘end point’ means a waiter bringing the check or the hour-long lunch break coming to an end. At We Work, there was no such destination since the guy asked me to meet him there to a, impress me, and b, leverage the free beer.

Therefore, when the conversation bore me, and I realized my values did not align with the stranger before me, I felt rude awkwardly looking at my watch. An hour had passed, and I wanted this to be over. But I didn’t know how to leave without being rude. If only I knew to bookend.

It's not that hard, just say that you need to go. It looks like you lack assertiveness. A date without bookend doesn't mean that you have to stay there for six hours.

4) It’s okay to be a feminist and appreciate chivalry
With an intern salary — whether it is corporate or nonprofit — it can be nice when he pays for dinner or fro-yo or drinks. It also can be nice when he holds the door open for you, smiles, and shrugs saying “ladies first.”

As Emma Watson stated in March of 2015, feminism and chivalry are not mutually exclusive. Feminism is believing in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. Bustle’s Lulu Chang sums it up perfectly: “Feminism does not stand at odds with chivalry, with general human decency, with kindness. … We do not have to lose to gain. We do not have to ask men to shut doors for us so that we can open them ourselves.”

I agree. That said I've never heard of any woman anywhere paying for her date's meal, even in cases where the woman makes more money.

3) Set Limits
I don’t watch much TV. But there is a key takeaway from an episode of “How I Met Your Mother” that has always stuck with me: nothing good ever happens after 2:00 a.m. Our decision-making processes are impaired after a night of heavy pre-gaming before the bars and clubs. The guys who messages you at 2am only wants a booty call, most likely, if he didn’t make plans with you at another time of day. Don’t let alcohol sway your judgement for the worse.

A lot of people figure that out in freshman year.

2) Consent is hot
According to the University of Michigan Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Center, “consent is when someone agrees, gives permission, or says ‘yes’ to sexual activity with other persons.” Consent is not just for sex—it can be for anything. No guy is entitled, and you are not expected to do any sexual activity. Thus, if a guy goes down on you without asking for your permission, he is violating consent.

Furthermore, there is no benchmarking when it comes to dating. Whether it be the first, second, or fifth date, you are not obligated to do anything for or with the guy after the date. You call the shots. And the guy who tells you most girls do XYZ after the 123 date is the guy who is most definitely not an NJB.

No sh*t.

1) The ones who say they are mensches are not
When swiping through the guys’ profiles in the app, each one will try to impress you with how “Jewish” and funny their profile is. There will be way too many jokes related to “you’re the lox to my bagel.” There also will be way too many guys calling themselves a mensch. Remember what your grandmother taught you: a mensch does not know he is one. One who thinks he is a mensch is not.

The author is a recent college graduate living in Chicago.

I think there's an issue where this woman is turned on by bragging and has no ability to distinguish overconfidence from genuine achievement. She also complained about men who don't look like their profile pics.

 

[Xander94]

Let the deconstruction begin. This article by this entitled woman is long, very long, full of self-righteous whining lacking in self-awareness. It may take me a while to fully dissect it.

http://forward.com/scribe/372514/an-insiders-guide-to-staying-sane-on-jswipe/


You're not an "insider", you're a moderately-experienced user. Words matter and you should use them properly.


OMG, you were travelling to a new city for a few months, you had an internship after having had previous internships, you were finishing college, and you had a handful of friends.

There's nobody who has suffered more than you have.


I thought you were lacking friends?


Just FYI business includes psychology.


This shouldn't need to be explained.


Huh? What are you even talking about?


A guy doesn't need to be "super-interested" to message you first. He might just be bored.
If he doesn't respond, he might just be busy rather than uninterested.


I look exactly like my pictures, as do some of my friends. My advice is that there might be something wrong with you and your judgment if you only end up with guys who don't look like their photos.

In my own experience, some girls look like their photos, and some don't. If I *never* met a woman who looked like her photos, I wouldn't assume that something is wrong with all women, I'd assume that something is wrong with me for always having bad judgment.


Fair enough.


The advice given to men is to let women talk about themselves lol.


Treatment of the waiter is something that a lot of women claim to care about in the abstract.


It's not that hard, just say that you need to go. It looks like you lack assertiveness. A date without bookend doesn't mean that you have to stay there for six hours.


I agree. That said I've never heard of any woman anywhere paying for her date's meal, even in cases where the woman makes more money.


A lot of people figure that out in freshman year.


No sh*t.


I think there's an issue where this woman is turned on by bragging and has no ability to distinguish overconfidence from genuine achievement. She also complained about men who don't look like their profile pics.

Why do you even waste your time with this?? I can't even find the patience to read it.

 

[CopeForLife]

david's next step:

make a catfish dating account with 6/10 girl

after:

give up and LDAR

 

[blackg]

he's freaking hot sorry

View attachment 53310

He is?

 

[hairblues]

He is?

He is sexy..me and @Pasbrillantebrunette would have a 3-some with him.
He is Hair-Pas approved.
Would take him over a lot of Twink, wannabe boy-band looking guys pics that get posted here.
But then again she is old and I am ancient so what do we know

 

[CaptainForehead]

I'm getting overrated here.

I've been rated from 4,5/10 to 8/10.

The truth must be in the middle, roughly 6,25/10.

Ah that Italian girl, good times, I would bring up the fact that I was bald at only 23 (she was 26) and her reaction was:

"But you're cute so it doesn't matter!"

*finishes his beer* "We go to your place?" "OK "

You also have that smile which makes women wet.

You bastard.

 

[CopeForLife]

He is?

He is not one of most handsome guy on the earth or so.

BUT

He has VERY aristocratic looks.

 

[hairblues]

He is not one of most handsome guy on the earth or so.

BUT

He has VERY aristocratic looks.

I like how he dresses and he has a great frame, physique for clothes. I find that sexy.

 

[Dante92]

hahahaha you are brutal dude

Women are just so complicated, aren't they?

 

[CaptainForehead]

I find it too manly.

You're a girl so not surprising.

I like some muscle on a girl.

 

[CaptainForehead]

He is sexy..me and @Pasbrillantebrunette would have a 3-some with him.
He is Hair-Pas approved.
Would take him over a lot of Twink, wannabe boy-band looking guys pics that get posted here.
But then again she is old and I am ancient so what do we know

Also, he has an arrogant vibe going which women find hot.

Decent looks, money, tall, arrogant vibe, I totally see why you two would have a threesome with him.

I wonder why he married a 33 year old who looks 40?

 

[CopeForLife]

nightclub photo in UK...

reddit meetup

Genetical disposition.

 

[Dante92]

nightclub photo in UK...

reddit meetup

Genetical disposition.

It's all about genetics, and these two pictures are the perfect, undeniable demonstration of it.

 

[Xander94]

nightclub photo in UK...

reddit meetup

Genetical disposition.

fun fact these girls are all average looking whereas the guys are chads

 

[hairblues]

Also, he has an arrogant vibe going which women find hot.

Decent looks, money, tall, arrogant vibe, I totally see why you two would have a threesome with him.

I wonder why he married a 33 year old who looks 40?

Really wealthy people if he comes from money--usually marry money and social status...it's really the 'new' money or old divorced people who marry non-money for second or third marriages based on hotness.
But to marry and have kids? they tend to marry their own.

I remember DBW wrote this post once about how he was trying to get in with the wealthy 'it' crowd and then his looks took a hit.

The truth is if you did not go to school with these people or know people who know people (they are all 1 degree of separation from one another) you are NOT going to get in with real old money elites.
It's easy to get in with 'ballers' or celebrities, new money but not that old elite money.
so he either married her for status or they are matched socially.

I met a lot when I was in prep school and my sister dated someone who was part of the Phipps family (my sister dated some really insanely wealthy men it was crazy for a while i was crossing my fingers she would have married one lol)
but she met these people via prep school and those relationship also where we lived.
At that time I briefly dated the son of a diplomat from Spain.
I NEVER would have met this guy except school and social crowd at the time.

You cant 'get in' with them you are either in with them at a young age or you are not.

 

[hairblues]

fun fact these girls are all average looking whereas the guys are chads

If you think those girls are average this may be your problem no offense

i think they are hot.

I would do them.

 

[SmoothSailing]

nightclub photo in UK...

reddit meetup

Genetical disposition.

I'd fit with the bottom photo

fun fact these girls are all average looking whereas the guys are chads

Girl on the right is def above average. And for the UK I'd say they all might be.

 

[CopeForLife]

fun fact these girls are all average looking whereas the guys are chads

they are above average and looks sexy as f***

the girl from the left isn't something special tho but photo isn't nice either