The Frequent "official" Origin Of My Recent Failures With Women

[hairblues]

I actually had casual chat with several women today. Went ok ofcourse there was no phone numbers exchanged or anything and they seemed to kind of ignore me after the chats. So they make up their mind after a short chat its either a do or a don't.

I went on tinder and in 4 days I had 70 something matches and they were/are ALL great matches...and as several men here like to point out a I am an old 'b**ch' yet somehow even I got this many on Tinder in that time frame.

The problem?
(no one get triggered, just deal with the information)
The matches all start to meld.
It is too many.
90% of the men I matched with are all looks matched, they are mostly education and professionally matched and they are all in neighborhoods I like (this is a NYC thing we date by neighborhood, don't know if that happens elsewhere we keep transport in mind)--I know because I looked for those things when swiping I did not swipe on just 'pics' I read the blurbs. If they had nothing written I did not swipe (this is my age showing 20 something this is not going to matter just sharing what I did)

Okay so I talked to a few the first day and it was like literally overwhelmed with messages...A few made it to my phone my contact list--and those were the ones i connected with.
Right now I am dating two men and that is all i can handle to be honest at a time, I cant juggle multiple men it would annoy me and confuse me with names (because you know I am old so my memory is so shot)

In future what I am going to do is match with just a few at a time and talk to 'those' men and see how I like them and not mega match...
BUT if you have a 21 year old woman--she's not going to do that..she is going to LOVE matching with as many men as she can. Then let the best one stand out.
Also what I did is I did not swipe on men who were 'above' me in looks. I think majority of the men I matched were looks matched to me. Because what is the point if you are a 7 to swipe on 9s? it's a waste of time IMO. If you happen to meet a 9 in person and strike up a connection this is different then internet dating a stranger.

That is my experience in case it helps you.

Try to get over to your contact list/her contact list meaning in your phones as soon as you can..don't push maybe ask Shookwun how he moves them to phone quickly because then you are no longer the 1 of 100s...>because if this old b**ch got 70 in few days can you imagine a 20 year old? she is drowning in matches.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I actually had casual chat with several women today. Went ok ofcourse there was no phone numbers exchanged or anything and they seemed to kind of ignore me after the chats. So they make up their mind after a short chat its either a do or a don't.

It's good to hear of you getting matches, Keep in mind that these women are being flooded with messages, or they may have just left their cell phones to go do something else. The fact you're matching with them means they're willing to consider you, but context will matter.

Good progress Xander.

 

[Xander94]

I went on tinder and in 4 days I had 70 something matches and they were/are ALL great matches...and as several men here like to point out a I am an old 'b**ch' yet somehow even I got this many on Tinder in that time frame.

The problem?
(no one get triggered, just deal with the information)
The matches all start to meld.
It is too many.
90% of the men I matched with are all looks matched, they are mostly education and professionally matched and they are all in neighborhoods I like (this is a NYC thing we date by neighborhood, don't know if that happens elsewhere we keep transport in mind)--I know because I looked for those things when swiping I did not swipe on just 'pics' I read the blurbs. If they had nothing written I did not swipe (this is my age showing 20 something this is not going to matter just sharing what I did)

Okay so I talked to a few the first day and it was like literally overwhelmed with messages...A few made it to my phone my contact list--and those were the ones i connected with.
Right now I am dating two men and that is all i can handle to be honest at a time, I cant juggle multiple men it would annoy me and confuse me with names (because you know I am old so my memory is so shot)

In future what I am going to do is match with just a few at a time and talk to 'those' men and see how I like them and not mega match...
BUT if you have a 21 year old woman--she's not going to do that..she is going to LOVE matching with as many men as she can. Then let the best one stand out.
Also what I did is I did not swipe on men who were 'above' me in looks. I think majority of the men I matched were looks matched to me. Because what is the point if you are a 7 to swipe on 9s? it's a waste of time IMO. If you happen to meet a 9 in person and strike up a connection this is different then internet dating a stranger.

That is my experience in case it helps you.

Try to get over to your contact list/her contact list meaning in your phones as soon as you can..don't push maybe ask Shookwun how he moves them to phone quickly because then you are no longer the 1 of 100s...>because if this old b**ch got 70 in few days can you imagine a 20 year old? she is drowning in matches.

I have no idea how to go to the next step how to be interesting and get numbers. I also dont really have the energy to do that with work and gym schedule.

Im not getting matches on tinder at all, and I'm also terrible at "game".

 

[Xander94]

It's good to hear of you getting matches, Keep in mind that these women are being flooded with messages, or they may have just left their cell phones to go do something else. The fact you're matching with them means they're willing to consider you, but context will matter.

Good progress Xander.

LoL it wasnt tinder matches. Im not getting any of those. I met and talked with them IRL.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

LoL it wasnt tinder matches. Im not getting any of those. I met and talked with them IRL.

That works too.

Where did you meet them?

 

[Xander94]

That works too.

Where did you meet them?

Social event. Im really considering asking tomorrow for a girls phone number since the other one Im interested in lives in a different city. But I'm afraid to do it because of the context (more on that on pm if you want for privacy purposes).

 

[hairblues]

Social event. Im really considering asking tomorrow for a girls phone number since the other one Im interested in lives in a different city. But I'm afraid to do it because of the context (more on that on pm if you want for privacy purposes).

Meeting people at your age is so much better in person--who needs Tinder if you are doing well in person!!!!

 

[Dante92]

Social event. Im really considering asking tomorrow for a girls phone number since the other one Im interested in lives in a different city. But I'm afraid to do it because of the context (more on that on pm if you want for privacy purposes).

If you don't even try, you'll never know, and, worse of all, you'll never LEARN. You have to try things to understand and understand what your chances really are.

 

[Xander94]

Meeting people at your age is so much better in person--who needs Tinder if you are doing well in person!!!!

I need to go to social events more Im just very high inhibition especially when there's many people around I approached only when they were alone. They were very friendly and smiley but that could just be good manners.

 

[Xander94]

If you don't even try, you'll never know, and, worse of all, you'll never LEARN. You have to try things to understand and understand what your chances really are.

That sounds like something coming out of a PUA camp LuL. Regardless you're right Im gonna do it. Im gonna take one for the team if it doesnt work out. Who cares if I fail anyway

 

[resu]

I need to go to social events more Im just very high inhibition especially when there's many people around I approached only when they were alone. They were very friendly and smiley but that could just be good manners.

That's because you're an introvert, people like us only deal with one on one or very small groups in which you know everyone or you'll be quiet the whole time. You need to find out your range, how introverted you are, how well versed you are, how well you can deal in certain situations. I don't care if I make a fool of myself because I don't have anything to lose or win so it's easier for me to say, at 22 it was a very different... still when you're young is when you're suppose to act foolish so that when you're older you know better.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Social event. Im really considering asking tomorrow for a girls phone number since the other one Im interested in lives in a different city. But I'm afraid to do it because of the context (more on that on pm if you want for privacy purposes).

Discuss whatever you want.

 

[Xander94]

You never even approached a woman for f***'s sake. Even I did (years ago), and I realized that way I was too ugly for their high standards. You basically are a basement-dweller for f***'s sake, you're tall, attractive and not below Norwood 2: you have more chances than the average user here, and you f*****g know it. I know you like being a whiny pussy and to wallow in misery and self-pity, but don't pretend to be as helpless as legit ugly guys like me and exodus.

GTFO or STFU

For your own good, buddy.

Exodus isnt ugly he said so himself that with hair he'd be a 6 or a 7. Also I never said I have it worse than you.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

In this community, we often mock the PUA for emphasizing social skills, or perhaps it might seem that way. I do think that is misguided as social skills are extremely important, my honest impression of the PUAs is that they either have poor social skills, or they don't explicitly understand their own social skills.

 

[Xander94]

In this community, we often mock the PUA for emphasizing social skills, or perhaps it might seem that way. I do think that is misguided as social skills are extremely important, my honest impression of the PUAs is that they either have poor social skills, or they don't explicitly understand their own social skills.

Ye social skills are legit. But I think most users downplay its role cause of club approaching mentallity where it's just the looks that matter. In any other setting social skills are extremely important from what i've seen

 

[Xander94]

You never even approached a woman for f***'s sake. Even I did (years ago), and I realized that way I was too ugly for their high standards. You basically are a basement-dweller for f***'s sake, you're tall, attractive and not below Norwood 2: you have more chances than the average user here, and you f*****g know it. I know you like being a whiny pussy and to wallow in misery and self-pity, but don't pretend to be as helpless as legit ugly guys like me and exodus.

GTFO or STFU

For your own good, buddy.

I am complaining not just for me for all of us in general. You can take the mantle of the one who has it the worst in here I'm not competing for that.

When I complain I have in my mind all the short balding manlets who really have almost 0 chances.I see them at the gym and smile at them to cheer them up.

I know for a fact that If I was a short bald manlet these women would NOT treat me the same way

 

[hairblues]

I am complaining not just for me for all of us in general

I think you did good Xander.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I am complaining not just for me for all of us in general. You can take the mantle of the one who has it the worst in here I'm not competing for that.

When I complain I have in my mind all the short balding manlets who really have almost 0 chances.I see them at the gym and smile at them to cheer them up.

I know for a fact that If I was a short bald manlet these women would NOT treat me the same way

Yes I often think the same way.

Talking to women is so hard, as women interested in dating have an endless sea of high-quality choices.

To think, it would be exponentially harder if my hair was even a couple more centimeters receded, or I were even 1 inch shorter, or if my nose were a little longer, and so on. f***.

 

[Xander94]

Yes I often think the same way.

Talking to women is so hard, as women interested in dating have an endless sea of high-quality choices.

To think, it would be exponentially harder if my hair was even a couple more centimeters receded, or I were even 1 inch shorter, or if my nose were a little longer, and so on. f***.

Im gonna make it personal goal to go to 1 social event per week at least and PUA the sh*t out of women it's gonna be hard but I don't care I dont have anything to prove to anyone. I just cant afford to waste my time anymore tinder aint working.

 

[resu]

Yes I often think the same way.

Talking to women is so hard, as women interested in dating have an endless sea of high-quality choices.

To think, it would be exponentially harder if my hair was even a couple more centimeters receded, or I were even 1 inch shorter, or if my nose were a little longer, and so on. f***.

What's worse is that women don't mind being single for +4 years straight just in order to get a Chad, they get comfort from other single women, they get a pet and the wait is tolerable, men's despair on the other hand... well I don't need to point it out.