Tinder 10/10 Male Experiment

[cocohot]

Like I said, your cynical outlook can be explained by your experiences, but they are not justified by them. However, what happened to you was cruel and unfair, and by putting yourself out there as much as you have you have certainly been exposed to the effects of your condition more than most people who preach the good word about shaving it off and keeping confident.

Cocohot: after your little fit of aggression against me in the other thread I have absolutely no qualms about taking pleasure in it anymore. **** off.

Why did you randomly post that in that thread? Of course I called you a dickhead when you just drop this in a thread:

Oh, and Cocohot is basically just a pulsing vortex of sluthate-inspired negative energy. I know I shouldn't but I take great pleasure in his suffering.

How can you now try and take the moral highground when you provoked me into calling you a dickhead? How would you describe your own behaviour in posting that unprovoked?

To me that's psychotic behaviour from a weirdo. I think the reason you are so aggressive towards me and Fred is because we're honest about the reality of life as a bald man and it scares and depresses you.

 

[kmm179]

There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how the play the game
It's easy

 

[Rudiger]

Oh please not this again. This is betrayal? You really are a white knight.

I've never hurt her, that's what counts. I won't put myself on hold just because society tells me I should devote myself to only one girl sexually.

Sexually is the keyword here, with the other girls, it was always strictly sexual. Her, she was my girlfriend, and I was all hers emotionally.

In the end, it didn't matter. She thinks I've always been faithful, and she harshly broke my heart anyway.

I had even stopped seeing other girls in the end of 2015, because I thought she was the one. Much good it did.

You really are a sociopath Fred.

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How can you now try and take the moral highground when you provoked me into calling you a dickhead? How would you describe your own behaviour in posting that unprovoked?

To me that's psychotic behaviour from a weirdo. I think the reason you are so aggressive towards me and Fred is because we're honest about the reality of life as a bald man and it scares and depresses you.

You also take great pleasure in others suffering, you want everyone to be bald and depressed like you, you hate the idea of people growing their hair. You really need to get over that one zircon quote, you've posted it a handful of times now, and you've written worse. You sound even more psychotic than usual.

And also, just to advise you, anyone over the age of 15 who genuinely uses the word "dickhead" as a really aggressive insult, I mean haha, it says more about them than the person they're insulting. Keep your sig.

 

[Rudiger]

You're a sensitive sociopath, basically you are a whole new strain of ****ed up.

As for her not knowing about your cheating so it making no difference, if you own up to having any sort of normal personality, you would feel guilt about cheating on her, you would act different around her, it would negatively impact how you treat her in some way, don't think it doesn't filter down.

But that's IF you feel guilt over it, which you should.

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Really? Someone who doesn't feel guilt, remorse or empathy? I wish.

But actually this quote sums you up. You want to be emotionless, you want everyone to be the same, purely superficial human beings, you dig through "research" in an attempt to justify your insane thoughts, which is genuinely hilarious, but you don't understand when things aren't as simple as you want to be, and that leaves you emotionally stunted and crippled.

 

[Rudiger]

If we have to get into a debate as to why he should feel guilty about it, then I can't even be arsed.

 

[Rudiger]

All of that happened after he cheated on her, I mean how does that come into play? I don't even know how to explain basics, to you, and you come out with that.

You tried to make fun of my dialect and you wrote "Throwns" which made you look really clever, this place is full of ****ing retards sometimes.

 

[buckthorn]

It's really not as complicated as every one is making it out to be. here are some basic rules of ethics in dating.

1) In a relationship, both parties deserve respect until they prove otherwise - do you agree? I hope so or you're kind of an a*shole and that's another discussion.

2) When you enter a relationship, generally 100% of the time it's considered MONOGAMOUS, UNLESS otherwise STATED and AGREED UPON

3) put 1) and 2) together = cheating is lying UNLESS AGREED UPON. Lying and cheating is betrayal. simple. there is no argument to this.

If you don't think cheating on your partner isn't betraying him/her then you are simply wrong. That being said - you may think betrayal in itself is o.k... which you can admit to, and that's simply another argument.

Now you can say, "well she aborted his baby"... well, he had no idea she would do that when he cheated. so, it's not a justification. The ONLY scenario where Fred's behaviors are ethical is one in which SHE HAS AGREED TO HIM SLEEPING AROUND. I can drive 90mph down the highway and accidentally run over a serial killer, but the cops aren't going to listen to, "well, he was a serial killer, that's why I was driving 90mph"

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I like Fred, I think he's a good guy and I swear I am not judging him, just commenting on his actions. You can be a good person and do unethical things. I am simply stating my perception that these actions are unethical.

 

[Rudiger]

Thank you for that.

I also am not trying to judge Fred as I simply don't care to, but the fact that he sees no fault in his actions, and is crying about how she broke his heart, I mean just **** off.

 

[Wolf Pack]

We don't know her side of the story Fred, obviously she has lied to you too. Like about the abortion. I think relationship dynamics are always best when there is a genuine emotional connection and the guy dominates but in a caring manner if that makes sense. The fact you never told her at all about your hair loss in a way told me how you were not close to her: you didn't trust her, perhaps she sensed some distance or something missing. Also girls don't easily cheat on a guy they really want to be with, in fact they are more emotional and find it hard to let go of them. That's my experience.

I hope you get better and over this. With time you will!

Try and find out why this happened and see if there is anything you can learn from it.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Fred,

Your ex sounds like a real b**ch. My condolences.

 

[cocohot]

Well, I checked and like I said earlier, Belgium does have the highest divorce rate on the planet:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_demography#Divorce_statistics_by_country

... so maybe Belgium is just particularly bad when it comes to relationships.

If I had to guess I would say she aborted the kid because neither of you are in a position financially to raise it. You are both at the very beginnings of your careers. If she took maternity leave at this early stage of her career, and hen returned only working part time or not being able to work late, that would be the end of her career, and you are just entering employment. And then having aborted your kid and you reacting badly to it, she knows the relationship can't be salvaged so it's over.

At least you betrayed her before she betrayed you though. If you were like the rest of us in this thread you would have been the nice guy who got screwed.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I didn't react badly, I just felt disappointed and powerless.

But I told her I was ready to forgive her. Still, her only response was: "I need time".

The girl before her was deeply in love with me, and I had told her about my hair loss, it didn't stop her from mocking me or from saying I was obsessed.

You should never tell your girlfriend about your insecurities. I'm so glad my ex didn't any ammunition.

The worst she said was that I always wanted to appear cool literally and figuratively.

What a monster I was.

Thanks for the kind words Wolf.

I don't have a lot of experience with women, but it's my experience with many people that it's just better to never sure insecurities at all. Some people I thought were friends later on betrayed, it stung a lot, not as much as a lover but it's still a betrayal.

There are lots of people out there who never form meaningful connections, or they can break them on a whim, not sure which it is. I feel like any problem I have, anything I worry about, I have to be extremely careful and selective about who I discuss it with.

Thank god for message boards. We can b**ch away here at no real consequence.

 

[Wolf Pack]

I didn't react badly, I just felt disappointed and powerless.

But I told her I was ready to forgive her. Still, her only response was: "I need time".

The girl before her was deeply in love with me, and I had told her about my hair loss, it didn't stop her from mocking me or from saying I was obsessed.

You should never tell your girlfriend about your insecurities. I'm so glad my ex didn't any ammunition.

The worst she said was that I always wanted to appear cool literally and figuratively.

What a monster I was.

Thanks for the kind words Wolf.

No problem bro.

Okay I don't mean you have to bare your soul completely to her. But I think most people in a relationship for a certain amount of time would have ended up at least saying I had hair loss but I tried to get some hair back. I appreciate it's a sensitive topic and there is no need to announce the big impact it had/has unless you felt comfortable. But most people have some kind of story, the fact you didn't open up makes me think she might have felt some distance. Of course, I am only speculating. Did she open up to you during this period? Would you say there was an emotional bond?

It seems to me there are deeper issues with you and her. I think she had the abortion because she realised she didn't want to have children with you. Maybe that made her question everything about where the relationship is going.

You're right generally though. Better not to reveal major insecurities to your partner, especially early on in a relationship.

I think stick to what you're doing: online dating and meeting new people. Hopefully you will like one enough to date.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

A friend of mine, his long term GF cheated on him.

The way he realized, prior to confirming it by seeing her text messages, was that she spontaneously withdrew affection. He noticed after a vacation where they were temporarily separated. All of a sudden, the warmth was gone.

 

[Roberto_72]

She needs to do it herself.

Lots of people will not give you that satisfaction. Especially when they are passive-aggressive, they expect you do everything for the both of you.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Indeed, plus that would be perfect for her: "Look how he broke up with me, in such hard times! What an a**h**!"

Her friends: "You go girl! I had never thought Fred would to that, you deserve better!" Nope, I won't give her the satisfaction.

At least she knows she made mistakes, she admitted she had let me down, and now she's just hiding in her shell I guess.

Honestly man,

**** her satisfaction. It's not your problem. You seem to be very concerned about what her Fred-narrative will be: **** it. Regardless of what you do, her friends and her family will side with her because they are her friends and her family. They are on her side, and you as the boyfriend were the tourist into their lives. They will side her unless she commits a major crime. Alternatively, they might ignore peer pressure if they're autistic.

What you need to do is to move forward. It's ok to sulk, we all do for a little bit after disappointment, but after some time move on.

You might raise your status with women if you cut an hour/day from posting here and started lifting weights. Or learned some professional skills and got a better job. I don't know.

But this woman, it's over, and you don't want her anyway.

I don't think it's a crime that she left you for another man. People do that sometimes, not every relationship is meant to last forever and sometimes good people develop new preferences. But the way she did it is gross. She did not care for your feelings.

 

[EvilLocks]

I would be fine with both. Yes, after what she's done, I still want to be with her.

That's because you're in love, Fred. Even if you don't want to admit it, it really shines through. And I know the feeling; even though my ex screwed me over badly I would take him back in a heartbeat if he offered. But that's not going to happen anytime soon, he's a very handsome fella and has lots of choices. So why would he want to take me back anyway? Yes, I know I'm stupid for wanting him back after what he did to me, but we cannot control our feelings. There's just too many memories that are hard to let go of.

 

[buckthorn]

Let's expose your own contradiction zircon here, shall we?
They don't even see the irony. We all know that women are masters of deception

You're a smart, caring guy Fred. I think you're going to go far with women, but also believe your own behaviors in relationships will have to cave in on you first. I mean, read some of the things you write to other posters. A lot of the traits you accuse all women of having are those you seem to have yourself. And these other posters seem to applaud and support you because yes, some sh*tty stuff happened. And, you definitely have a big heart, so I do support you, but I do not applaud you.

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I am just saying, how does continually cheating behind a women's back without her consent, not make you a master of deception. Surely you put in effort for her to never find out?

 

[cocohot]

I'm not sure if she went back with her ex by the way, the check-in on Facebook made me assume the worst, but she was actually seeing his band live.

How is that different?

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That's because you're in love, Fred. Even if you don't want to admit it, it really shines through. And I know the feeling; even though my ex screwed me over badly I would take him back in a heartbeat if he offered. But that's not going to happen anytime soon, he's a very handsome fella and has lots of choices. So why would he want to take me back anyway? Yes, I know I'm stupid for wanting him back after what he did to me, but we cannot control our feelings. There's just too many memories that are hard to let go of.

Is that the one who's nearly 20 years older or a different one?

I'm not whiteknighting here, you live in Norway etc, but just to honestly answer the bolded, for now at least, you have a 9/10 body. You shouldn't underestimate what that's worth even with thinning hair.

 

[EvilLocks]

Is that the one who's nearly 20 years older or a different one?

A different one. I was never in love with the older guy, although I was really attracted to him. And I'm not going to lie; the age difference really turned me on!