Tinder, Bumble, And Other Dating Sites.

[DoctorHouse]

I appreciate your kind words as always, but I don't want to give the impression to people that I dont suffer from my own problems.

Suffering from horrible self-esteem my entire child hood, which came with a series of problems as I got older.

Myself personally, I need to reboot myself on a completely restored level physically. Meaning a full head of hair, and gradually work my way up as if I were a teenager all over again. It's been a rocky road pushing myself outside of my comfort zone, and it's still a work in progress. I am a firm believer that child, and teenage tragedies such as bullying, self-esteem, and image issues are highly probable to affect you as you get older. Looking back, if I never suffered through these issues, and had the core experience that most people have with out the crutch effect of being insecure, I would be much different today.


I can only portray the casanova image for so long until I sulk back in my insecure, and low self-esteem stuff. What's ironic is I have that out going vibe, and extrovert personality, but my image issues destroy me, and prevent me from being the person I want to be.


Pretty much gave up dating for awhile, after reaching an all time low again. Despite the records, numbers and women I been with it does not fix my problems, and image issues. it's easy for people to preach to the choir about my transplants, but they don't know my history, and what I have been through.

Shook, I told you this before, you and I think alike. Unfortunately, your way of thinking or your thoughts going thru your head are the same I used to have when was your age. Guess what? Those thoughts are still there( I learn how to suppress them just to function "normal") and because of it, I fear rejection constantly. I have very little trust in people. I am still old fashioned and this social media today is way too narcissistic for me to stomach.

You guys have to worry about "chads" which I think seems to be on the rise. I have to worry about women my age wanting guys 10 years younger once they get tired of me. The emotional baggage some of these women carry around makes you want to go back to school and get a degree in psychology just to date them. You had more self esteem than I ever did based upon your "conquests". Keep working on mental health as much as you can. Just look for all the exceptions in life and take advantage of them. My issues destroy me still( even more so now that I live with regrets) and honestly destroyed my quality of life. The only thing that kept me going was my career and my family. Otherwise, I definitely would have pulled a Robbin Williams.

Just remember, even with your image issues, you still are above average and have proven already to yourself you can attract women. Keeping their interest in you is going to be hard work. Although a "chad" can do it effortless, they still have to do it because there is always someone better looking then them. The more you compare, the more you despair. You can continue to fix the "outside" but if you can't fix the "inside", you will spend the rest of your life trying to fix the "outside" and just replay those same thoughts about yourself on a never ending loop. If your main goal is marriage than you need to work on how to keep women interested in you for long periods of time. In this day and age, it almost seems impossible to the present generation. I don't know what your goals are when it comes to that. Do you want that?

 

[pjhair]

@pjhair

what i find interesting is my post where i said I was thinking that but did not want to write it to be polite--you took so much exception to to the point of telling me to 'shut my mouth'

when what @shookwun wrote was so much more AFTER my post about mixing races which i made NO comment on since i don't agree with him

yet you tell me to shut my mouth---dont see you being so rude to him.

Its interesting.

Yeah, go sit, analyze and interpret whatever the f*** you want from my posting pattern. I am not going to explain jack sh*t.

 

[hairblues]

Yeah, go sit, analyze and interpret whatever the f*** you want from my posting pattern. I am not going to explain jack sh*t.

you don't need to explain it its apparent...no need to analyze what is so clear.

 

[pjhair]

you don't need to explain it its apparent...no need to analyze what is so clear.

If it was so clear, why did you bring it up to me?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Hey guys this has been a great thread so far can we keep it cool?

There are different views on how well a white north American can do by going looking for women in the third world. That part is clear.

 

[pjhair]

this sentence did not even make sense.

I don't knew what you are talking about

i honestly think you just want to debate for the sake of debating at this point.

It doesn't make any sense to you because of your lack of experience. It's simple really. I remember some of my America friends going crazy over some Indian women in college. They found them really attractive. But those women were just average. I knew there were better looking Indian women because I have lived there so I have seen better. My standards for Indian women were substantially higher. If my American friends had lived in India, they would have seen those beautiful women as well and their standard would have been a lot higher. The same thing applies to American men living IN America. They are everywhere here. So of course the competition is higher for them. But in foreign lands they are cherished due to rarity.

You also mistakenly assume that women from other countries have the same definition of beauty. I have an Indian friend who is dark and of average height. But for some reason white women go nuts over him. He can walk into a bar and pick up the hottest women if they are single. He is a playboy here. But Indian women don't find him good looking at all. Why? Indian women are attracted to light skin. So my light skinned Indian friends do substantially better than him when it comes to Indian women but when it comes to white women he is the king. So you are absolutely wrong when you claim the following:

"I don't know any of them who would 'want' a N American man that any N American girl did NOT want..."

 

[hairblues]

Hairblues, as a woman can I ask you for your honest opinion, and I don't want you to hold back. Say whatever you want. Do you honestly think I NEED a hair transplant? Is it going to make a huge difference in your opinion. I'd like to get a women's perspective on this.

NO i don't think from pics i saw you need a hair transplant.

Its because you have a great jaw good bone structure of face, and you have fantastic boy by most standarees and you are 6 feet tall.

 

[Baldhurts]

NO i don't think from pics i saw you need a hair transplant.

Its because you have a great jaw good bone structure of face, and you have fantastic boy by most standarees and you are 6 feet tall.

Thanks for your honesty. I'm grateful.

 

[hairblues]

It doesn't make any sense to you because of your lack of experience. It's simple really. I remember some of my America friends going crazy over some Indian women in college. They found them really attractive. But those women were just average. I knew there were better looking Indian women because I have lived there so I have seen better. My standards for Indian women were substantially higher. If my American friends had lived in India, they would have seen those beautiful women as well and their standard would have been a lot higher. The same thing applies to American men living IN America. They are everywhere here. So of course the competition is higher for them. But in foreign lands they are cherished due to rarity.

You also mistakenly assume that women from other countries have the same definition of beauty. I have an Indian friend who is dark and of average height. But for some reason white women go nuts over him. He can walk into a bar and pick up the hottest women if they are single. He is a playboy here. But Indian women don't find him good looking at all. Why? Indian women are attracted to light skin. So my light skinned Indian friends do substantially better than him when it comes to Indian women but when it comes to white women he is the king. So you are absolutely wrong when you claim the following:

"I don't know any of them who would 'want' a N American man that any N American girl did NOT want..."

you told me to shut my mouth several times yet you want to keep going.

 

[hairblues]

Thanks for your honesty. I'm grateful.

you are welcome...i think and i say this with kindness you have to find a way to work on social skills.

do you have a lot of friends locally?

 

[DoctorHouse]

Baldhurts, your self image thought process is much like mine and Shook's. I understand how you need self validation especially from women. I used to hear I was "handsome", "foxy" and sometimes even "gorgeous" and GQ looking but I never believed it. You don't believe it either. You need to believe it and once you do, you will realize you have just as much of chance to attract women as anyone else in your area. Your success rate will depend on how well you can keep the women interested in you. If you can't then you are going to have to do what most guys do and get them drunk or at least under the influence of something to "losen" them up. That was not my style so I stuck to the challenge of trying to attract them sober. And I learned women like humor and they like story telling. And the easiest thing to do is just make the conversation about THEM.

 

[Baldhurts]

you are welcome...i think and i say this with kindness you have to find a way to work on social skills.

do you have a lot of friends locally?

I think my social skills are alright. I just think very lowly of myself.. I feel like I'm not worthy of an attractive woman or to be loved by anyone. My best friend who I had here moved overseas for a job. So I don't have him around anymore to go out with therefor I never put myself out there EVER. I sit back and wish I could meet beautiful women and maybe have a shot at a relationship but I can't pull the trigger.

When I got laid off from work I spent a lot of time at home and inside my home gym and for some reason my social anxiety sky rocketed, to the point of going inside a grocery store would make me sweat and I will always look at the ground.

 

[hairblues]

@Baldhurts @pjhair can you guys delete posts 1139 1141 1155

Anyone who knows me and knows what i do and where i live can easily figure this out form my posts...i sometimes don't think abut protecting my privacy. if you see any others about my family or my schooling.

 

[Baldhurts]

Baldhurts, your self image thought process is much like mine and Shook's. I understand how you need self validation especially from women. I used to hear I was "handsome", "foxy" and sometimes even "gorgeous" and GQ looking but I never believed it. You don't believe it either. You need to believe it and once you do, you will realize you have just as much of chance to attract women as anyone else in your area. Your success rate will depend on how well you can keep the women interested in you. If you can't then you are going to have to do what most guys do and get them drunk or at least under the influence of something to "losen" them up. That was not my style so I stuck to the challenge of trying to attract them sober. And I learned women like humor and they like story telling. And the easiest thing to do is just make the conversation about THEM.

Your right. I actually have never believed a single compliment I have gotten in my life. I actually had a woman come up to me in a bar about 15 mins after I had walked in and she told me I was "beautiful" she was about a 7 to me. But.. again I just think people are being polite/nice and I kind of just roll my eyes if I hear I'm good looking or handsome or whatever the f*** they say, i don't know why my image is like this, most likely I think my dad had something to do with it, he was insanely hard on me as a kid, I was a junior hockey player... very good and so was my dad, basically everytime I came off the ice he would tell me how badly I did and how much of a sh*t hockey player I was.. meanwhile I was playing triple A junior hockey.

Also when I had my first girlfriend at 16 she came over and met my dad, my dad basically laughed at me and asked what the hell she could possibly be interested in. Anytime iv had a girl/seen someone my dad would always comment about how she will leave me to another man asap. Just sh*t like that. I think that's destroyed me.

 

[hairblues]

I think my social skills are alright. I just think very lowly of myself.. I feel like I'm not worthy of an attractive woman or to be loved by anyone. My best friend who I had here moved overseas for a job. So I don't have him around anymore to go out with therefor I never put myself out there EVER. I sit back and wish I could meet beautiful women and maybe have a shot at a relationship but I can't pull the trigger.

When I got laid off from work I spent a lot of time at home and inside my home gym and for some reason my social anxiety sky rocketed, to the point of going inside a grocery store would make me sweat and I will always look at the ground.

Coping with anxiety and even depression to an extent its like you have to practice dealing with it...so if you totally isolate its going to make you more anxious when you step out.

its too bad you did a home gym because even jut the process of having to go someplace each day is good.

 

[hairblues]

Your right. I actually have never believed a single compliment I have gotten in my life. I actually had a woman come up to me in a bar about 15 mins after I had walked in and she told me I was "beautiful" she was about a 7 to me. But.. again I just think people are being polite/nice and I kind of just roll my eyes if I hear I'm good looking or handsome or whatever the f*** they say, i don't know why my image is like this, most likely I think my dad had something to do with it, he was insanely hard on me as a kid, I was a junior hockey player... very good and so was my dad, basically everytime I came off the ice he would tell me how badly I did and how much of a sh*t hockey player I was.. meanwhile I was playing triple A junior hockey.

Also when I had my first girlfriend at 16 she came over and met my dad, my dad basically laughed at me and asked what the hell she could possibly be interested in. Anytime iv had a girl/seen someone my dad would always comment about how she will leave me to another man asap. Just sh*t like that. I think that's destroyed me.

I think you have to deal with that--its definitely your Dad stuff.

 

[pjhair]

@Baldhurts @pjhair can you guys delete posts 1139 1141 1155

Anyone who knows me and knows what i do and where i live can easily figure this out form my posts...i sometimes don't think abut protecting my privacy. if you see any others about my family or my schooling.

I deleted all my posts that had info about your schooling or family. If you see any that I forgot to delete, let me know.

 

[Baldhurts]

@Baldhurts @pjhair can you guys delete posts 1139 1141 1155

Anyone who knows me and knows what i do and where i live can easily figure this out form my posts...i sometimes don't think abut protecting my privacy. if you see any others about my family or my schooling.

Done

 

[shookwun]

TFW you have all of hair blues nudes in your PM.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Your right. I actually have never believed a single compliment I have gotten in my life. I actually had a woman come up to me in a bar about 15 mins after I had walked in and she told me I was "beautiful" she was about a 7 to me. But.. again I just think people are being polite/nice and I kind of just roll my eyes if I hear I'm good looking or handsome or whatever the f*** they say, i don't know why my image is like this, most likely I think my dad had something to do with it, he was insanely hard on me as a kid, I was a junior hockey player... very good and so was my dad, basically everytime I came off the ice he would tell me how badly I did and how much of a sh*t hockey player I was.. meanwhile I was playing triple A junior hockey.

Also when I had my first girlfriend at 16 she came over and met my dad, my dad basically laughed at me and asked what the hell she could possibly be interested in. Anytime iv had a girl/seen someone my dad would always comment about how she will leave me to another man asap. Just sh*t like that. I think that's destroyed me.

My dad and older brother were very abusive to me. I got bullied in school. Guys would turn women( who thought I was cute) against me then they would belittle me too. I know what you are talking about. Unfortunately, you will get more abuse no matter where you go. Look how much abuse you see on here sometimes. I don't understand why as this place is supposed to be a safe haven and support group but it happens here too. I will be brutally honest in saying you are definitely above average in looks so don't ever sell yourself short. You have self discipline to keep fit so that is a great asset for you. When you did the video, you have that "look" I have which women pick up on me. You don't look very "happy" inside. All that abuse is bottle up in your head and you don't know how to let it go. You need to find friends going thru the same issues as yourself and you can help each other out.