Reactivated My Dating Profiles, Trying To Be Enthusiastic Without Being Obsessed

[IdealForehead]

Either that or we'll get articles about how young women are disappointed that men don't know how to please them, and that this situation is due to cultural misogyny.

LOL. Nailed it. That's exactly what would happen.

Women are the only ones who suffer, and men are always to blame. If men claim to be disadvantaged it's only because we're too "entitled".

No one cares and no one ever will about the plight of the average or below average man. We have to do the best with our lives we can. No one's gonna do it for us. Certainly, no one is going to help.

 

[blackg]

LOL. Nailed it. That's exactly what would happen.

Women are the only ones who suffer, and men are always to blame. If men claim to be disadvantaged it's only because we're too "entitled".

No one cares and no one ever will about the plight of the average or below average man. We have to do the best with our lives we can. No one's gonna do it for us. Certainly, no one is going to help.

All women have it worse in the sense that once they reach a certain age and they are still single, then they are usually left on the shelf as their sexual market value decreases significantly.

Men, average or not, will usually be of some value to society regardless of their overall sexual worth.

Women have it a lot worse at the end of the day.

 

[blackg]

Not all women are the same but if there's one thing I learned in my dating career, it's that if there is no kiss on the first date, it's very unlikely that anything will ever happen.

Actually, it's one of those rare rules that are nearly absolute for me. A girl who's into you will be dying for you to kiss her. If there ever was an exception to that rule, it was because I didn't dare to go for the kiss, which I think never actually happened, but my mind may be playing tricks on me.

This is where my hypersensitivity is useful, if things are going wrong, I can feel it, and if things are going well, I can really feel it too. Those silences, those slightly uncomfortable smiles, during which you can tell that the girl is thinking "Come on! Kiss me!".

Ah I miss those times sometimes, but these days I'm more like:

Don't kiss any girls in Australia.

 

[Calchas]

1 girl canceled on me this weekend, she said that she's met someone, and after that she unmatched me. It's too bad, she had a great smile.

Another told me that she was sick, and that we should postpone until this week.

A third I met today. I drove ~50 minutes to and back from the date as she lives a little far out. We met in a brunch place (Sunday brunch is big in this part of the world) and we flirted a lot. This followed up on extensive texting yesterday where she told me that I gave her the best conversation that she's had in a long time, that she liked my profile (both photo details and the profile text), and a few other things. She was flirty throughout and we had a lot of touching going on. She said that I was really sweet.

I told her that I'd like to have more fun with her but I was not comfortable doing so in a public space, she said that she was sorry but I could wait until next week. She changed her mind after I tickled her ear with my right index finger for a little bit, and we ended up at an isolated bench where we made out for 15 minutes.

She's smart, she likes me, she has nice breasts, but for the time being nothing clicked. We only met once so that follows. It bothers me that she's a few years older than me. We'll see how things go.

It's nice that you're at least trying.
Sometimes i'm tempted to create a Tinder account out of curiosity and see what happens...
But i'm afraid that even if i find a girl that looks okay for me(7-8 is good enough),there won't be a pesronality match and i will lose my time.
On the other hand i'm also afraid that if i find one that meets all criteria and i intuitively sense that there will be a personality match,she won't be interested in me...
I know that i'm looking things from the negative side of the spectrum and i tend to disencourage myself pretty easily,but i can't help it.
If there's 90% chance that things won't work out and 10% that they will,i can't find the motivation to try for this 10%.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

It's nice that you're at least trying.
Sometimes i'm tempted to create a Tinder account out of curiosity and see what happens...
But i'm afraid that even if i find a girl that looks okay for me(7-8 is good enough),there won't be a pesronality match and i will lose my time.
On the other hand i'm also afraid that if i find one that meets all criteria and i intuitively sense that there will be a personality match,she won't be interested in me...
I know that i'm looking things from the negative side of the spectrum and i tend to disencourage myself pretty easily,but i can't help it.
If there's 90% chance that things won't work out and 10% that they will,i can't find the motivation to try for this 10%.

How old are you?

 

[Calchas]

How old are you?

33

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

33

We're peers.

When was your last date?

When was your last good date?

 

[Calchas]

We're peers.

When was your last date?

When was your last good date?

The last date can't be called a date.
I met a girl 3 weeks ago through my cousin and i literally fell for her after a long time of emotional drought.
I only met her once, but she expressed interest in me through my cousin and i haven't responded yet.
The thing is that she is 10 years younger than me and she looks so full of life...I don't think i can follow her lifestyle and i'm afraid that i will have a negative impact on her(i'm a bit of a drainer).
Thankfully,she left for her island and i bought myself some time.

Last good date was 12 years ago and it was a bit traumatic...But as Nietzsche said:''Experience is only a bad experience.''

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

The last date can't be called a date.
I met a girl 3 weeks ago through my cousin and i literally fell for her after a long time of emotional drought.
I only met her once, but she expressed interest in me through my cousin and i haven't responded yet.
The thing is that she is 10 years younger than me and she looks so full of life...I don't think i can follow her lifestyle and i'm afraid that i will have a negative impact on her(i'm a bit of a drainer).
Thankfully,she left for her island and i bought myself some time.

Last good date was 12 years ago and it was a bit traumatic...But as Nietzsche said:''Experience is only a bad experience.''

She has an island?

 

[Calchas]

She has an island?

She deserves the whole world,but no,no island...Lol!

 

[CaptainForehead]

Well,that was a rounding up,but not far from there.
I think being thin,having low blood pressure and protruding veins in your arms is a good sign for women to know what the third arm looks like.
That's how my arm looks like at rest.
View attachment 84252

You lucky bastard!

 

[Patrick_Bateman]

Not all women are the same but if there's one thing I learned in my dating career, it's that if there is no kiss on the first date, it's very unlikely that anything will ever happen.

Actually, it's one of those rare rules that are nearly absolute for me. A girl who's into you will be dying for you to kiss her. If there ever was an exception to that rule, it was because I didn't dare to go for the kiss, which I think never actually happened, but my mind may be playing tricks on me.

This is where my hypersensitivity is useful, if things are going wrong, I can feel it, and if things are going well, I can really feel it too. Those silences, those slightly uncomfortable smiles, during which you can tell that the girl is thinking "Come on! Kiss me!".

Ah I miss those times sometimes, but these days I'm more like:

Do you like Huey Lewis And The News? Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

 

[doubleindemnity]

I've had enough of this **** online dating. 3 women said yes to a date but then never took my phone number or gave theirs. Why in the world would you do this? Why wouldn't you, as a woman, put in less effort by not replying to my messages, and not saying yes to a date. Why waste your own time in order to waste mine? Maybe it's just that time of year. I had a lot of these things this time last year, and am noticing that @Afro_Vacancy is having the same.

The sad thing is that online is the only chance we have. You can read all of this nonsense online about how you can meet a woman by joining a cooking class or something. All of the examples of men who met their partner through this kind of medium is where the man is a chad and was approached by the woman. In general, women do not approach men and if you want to join an initiative like a cooking class, you'd have to use game and approach yourself. If you don't want to do that a feel like you're being awkward then guess what...you have to go online.

 

[Saulus]

View attachment 84575

Im so jealous of his hairline


Must be the minoxidil

At 7:50

 

[IdealForehead]

I've had enough of this **** online dating. 3 women said yes to a date but then never took my phone number or gave theirs. Why in the world would you do this? Why wouldn't you, as a woman, put in less effort by not replying to my messages, and not saying yes to a date. Why waste your own time in order to waste mine? Maybe it's just that time of year. I had a lot of these things this time last year, and am noticing that @Afro_Vacancy is having the same.

The sad thing is that online is the only chance we have. You can read all of this nonsense online about how you can meet a woman by joining a cooking class or something. All of the examples of men who met their partner through this kind of medium is where the man is a chad and was approached by the woman. In general, women do not approach men and if you want to join an initiative like a cooking class, you'd have to use game and approach yourself. If you don't want to do that a feel like you're being awkward then guess what...you have to go online.

The thing I find most hilarious about the advice to "join a cooking class" is even PUAs in cold approach who do this for a living have around a 1% sex rate from cold approach.

I'd estimate from my online dating and cold approach stats likely 95-99% of women that I would want to date would never be sufficiently interested on "first impression" in me to even go out once. Yeah it's harsh but it's the truth. So this leaves 1/20 to 1/100 who might be interested enough to at least give me a chance.

In a cooking class there MIGHT be one or two girls that I might be interested in. They will in all probability already be dating someone, so you'd have to represent a clear trade up for them to entertain you. So statistically speaking, what am I supposed to do, join 20 separate cooking courses and hit on one girl in each to eventually maybe get one date? And then just quit each class after the girl inevitably blows me off? LOL. This is supposed to be a rational approach to dating?

If you're planning to do IRL cold approach, you have to go to night clubs or street places people congregate and hit on massive numbers to stand a chance of getting somewhere. Otherwise, you go online and again hit on mass numbers that way.

Either way, it's all numbers. You'll never get there in a cooking class without lottery winning luck unless you're so good looking women approach you or smile at you, etc. as a matter of routine daily life.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I've had enough of this **** online dating. 3 women said yes to a date but then never took my phone number or gave theirs. Why in the world would you do this? Why wouldn't you, as a woman, put in less effort by not replying to my messages, and not saying yes to a date. Why waste your own time in order to waste mine? Maybe it's just that time of year. I had a lot of these things this time last year, and am noticing that @Afro_Vacancy is having the same.

The sad thing is that online is the only chance we have. You can read all of this nonsense online about how you can meet a woman by joining a cooking class or something. All of the examples of men who met their partner through this kind of medium is where the man is a chad and was approached by the woman. In general, women do not approach men and if you want to join an initiative like a cooking class, you'd have to use game and approach yourself. If you don't want to do that a feel like you're being awkward then guess what...you have to go online.

I take cooking classes to learn about cooking. I've never gotten a date from it. I discuss some anecdotes though.

The first one that I ever went to was almost entirely men. I remember that one of the guys was there because his wife had died, and he didn't know how to feed himself.

One time a lesbian couple said that they wanted to fix me up with their straight female friend. I said ok, sure. They later asked me if it was ok if the woman had a son. I said sure, maybe, how old is he? They told me that the son was ~25. They wanted to fix me up with a 55 year old woman. I said no thank you, that I wanted to have children.

In general, there are a lot of attractive women in their 20s and 30s who show up to these cooking classes. They come with their boyfriends and husbands, it's like a date night.

A while back, an absolutely stunning woman was there with ... her dad. She was single. She works part-time as a yoga instructor. I tried speaking to her, she didn't give me the time of day. She was however flirting with another man there, so it happens. That man was better looking than I am, he was African American with very large bones and muscles. Note that she would not have flirted with me if the hot guy was not there. If no hot guy had been present, she simply would not have flirted with anybody.

One time, I was in a class with a very handsome, charismatic, and competent instructor. The man had worked in restaurants all over the world, was now a software developer during the week and a cooking instructor on the weekends. He was tall, athletic, with great hair. A lot of the women laughed at all of his jokes, and it wasn't even giggling, it was more like "hehehehe aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh ", I'm sure you guys know what I mean. I don't hold it against him though, he's a great guy and a terrific instructor.

However, it's a great hobby to improve one's cooking skills. As far as I know, you should pursue hobbies for the hobbies, and not to meet women. There are no worthwhile hobbies if the goal is to meet women while doing the hobby.

********

Meeting women in real life is something that works in high school and college, when a large fraction of them are single.

"Meet women in real life" is a meme because a lot of dating advice is written by very good looking people, and a lot of it by women who can flip a switch and meet people in real life. The advice represents their truth, their reality.

*********

ETA: As for the phone numbers, there are multiple reasons that they're not sharing phone numbers. One is that their commitment to even a measly date is not full. They might change their mind quickly, whereas exchanging a phone number makings things official. Two, it's easier to ghost you if you don't share phone numbers. She can just delete you on the app. You might be giving off creeper vibes, or she might just assume that every guy is a creeper.

 

[CaptainForehead]

"Meet women in real life" is a meme because a lot of dating advice is written by very good looking people, and a lot of it by women who can flip a switch and meet people in real life. The advice represents their truth, their reality.

It's just stunning, the difference between the realities of (non-obese) women, and (non-obese) men.
And feminists expect equality of outcomes and distributions between the two genders. Insane.

 

[CopeForLife]

lol @ cooking classes anyway

why can't one cook at home? I started to cook just a few weeks ago and it the EASIEST thing I ever made

just follow the instructions, add more spices and butter = win

WOMEN spread a myth that cooking is HARD

inb4: going to cooking classes to SOCIALISE or, god forgive me, meet a girl

only cucks choose their hobbies based on how many girls there are

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

lol @ cooking classes anyway

why can't one cook at home? I started to cook just a few weeks ago and it the EASIEST thing I ever made

just follow the instructions, add more spices and butter = win

WOMEN spread a myth that cooking is HARD

inb4: going to cooking classes to SOCIALISE or, god forgive me, meet a girl

only cucks choose their hobbies based on how many girls there are

inb4 a vegan storms in to incorrectly inform everybody that hydrogenated soybean oil is healthier and better-tasting than butter.

Also, adding spices is misogynistic, as men are more likely than women to like spicy foods ;-)

********

I take the cooking classes to learn about cooking. Among the benefits of these, they broaden my exposure as they often include items that I would never try myself. Some classes also focus on technique which can be beneficial as well.

It's not an expensive hobby. You pay ~$50 to prepare a meal that might cost you $30-40 in a restaurant. It would cost you more to prepare at home as you wouldn't be able to buy the ingredients in bulk.

 

[CopeForLife]

inb4 a vegan storms in to incorrectly inform everybody that hydrogenated soybean oil is healthier and better-tasting than butter.

Also, adding spices is misogynistic, as men are more likely than women to like spicy foods ;-)

********

I take the cooking classes to learn about cooking. Among the benefits of these, they broaden my exposure as they often include items that I would never try myself. Some classes also focus on technique which can be beneficial as well.

It's not an expensive hobby. You pay ~$50 to prepare a meal that might cost you $30-40 in a restaurant. It would cost you more to prepare at home as you wouldn't be able to buy the ingredients in bulk.

what kind of meals do you cook in that classes? I tried to cook indian food and it's perfect tbh