Deep down I feel Dante is a polite and kind person from my few interactions with him. I truly hope he doesn't fall by the wayside in life because he has a lot to offer being intelligent and talented. I know many believe I should be the last person to advise Dante but I do have a somewhat relevant professional background. It's hard advising someone without speaking to them face to face and also seeing their appearance and behaviour. Those often give telltale clues.
Dante often says he wants respect and not to be mocked. I believe this is the root of his problem. I have personally seen and heard of cases of profound bullying, whether at the work place or in a social setting. In Dante's case some of his experiences may be completely true, the others may be amplified through low self esteem, paranoia, depression and anxiety. Not calling you a liar Dante, just that you may not see things as they are.
One thing is for certain, you have severe depression at the very least. What gives it away is the biological symptoms and graphic descriptions. The complete loss of libido, empathy, interests and sleep pattern e.t.c. As others have suggested and you agreed to, talking to a therapist, just let it all out face to face and work with them. You may find a good therapist with regular effort. I would also get on a mood stabiliser while you are recovering. This could be a long process but it will be worth it for you in the long term. Hopefully you don't have any other issues which need treating. It's a brave decision to seek help and nothing to be ashamed about.
You're doing all you can for your hair but seriously do consider other looks max options. I know you hate this topic but just covering basics would make you feel normal. I have a hard time believing you're as ugly as sin since I rarely if ever see someone like that. So the ridicule and negative attention you draw to yourself seems hard for us to understand.
The biggest obstacle perhaps is sadly that you are a victim of the way the western world is going. Maslow's pyramid we all had to learn in our university days. IMO it's a way to rationalise the problems of the west: that we are becoming way too self centred and passing judgement on others. Everyone wants to look the best, be the best (career, money) and get genuine validation or feel insecure and hate themselves. I'm not saying this didn't exist before, but it's reaching a breaking point. There's a reason other places even in Europe have lower rates of depression/suicide and are far more happier. It's not because they are starving or don't have a house as the pyramid suggests, far from it. Just that it's culturally okay to accept your aesthetic limits and people won't punish you for it.
This still doesn't change the fact that good looks are worshipped everywhere. Noticed this in mainland Europe too. It's worse for a guy because there are only two modes: hot or not. Only good looking guys will get attention from any type of girl. Whereas girls can easily elevate their looks to an extent with clothes, being thin and make up. On a train journey in Europe a month back I noticed that my pretty gf didn't get as much attention as I expected. As there were other pretty girls and to an extent they all merged into one and looked clone like. Yet she had to keep staring back at girls who kept looking at me repeatedly, especially if they were with their friends as opposed to their boyfriend. It's crazy as some are much younger than me but girls have this feeling of romance, it's innate. So looks are biological and obsessed over which we already know.
But it shows it's much tougher being a guy as there are only two modes: attractive or not. And in the western world, it seems most guys are having an uneasy time accepting it more than other men in the world. I can see that with other guys around me who have an unnecessary harsh view of themselves. They punish and hate themselves when in fact they are completely normal looking. They strive for silly looks max options and you can tell they all go on the same websites. Teeth? PUA? Tan? Clothes? Muscle? In reality, this won't change much unless they had massive teeth deformity/very pale skin/bad body. They actually had a normal body and normal teeth but thought getting "super" here would compensate for a normal face. All that looks maxing won't get them what they want - pretty girls chasing them and people being nice in general randomly. Covering basics is one thing, being unrealistic in the mind and striving for unnecessary perfection is another thing. It will lead to further anxiety and stress.
I understand your bald hate as a young man but you shouldn't let that manifest into general hate of yourself. I see too many people like this suffering. Also I can't relate on a personal level but that doesn't mean my advice is worthless. I would say treating your mental health, covering your basics and learning to enjoy life with a healthy mindset beyond aesthetics is what you should strive for. This is the approach I see other sensible guys trying. They come to accept themselves, it's still a constant battle in their mind, but they are much better in every area of life because they sought help.
