I Accidentally Found Out My Brother Is Gay And Dont Know What To Do (he Doesnt Know I Know)

[yetti]

You can suck my dick, you U.S. citizen wanna be.

Look, you have NINE messages. You've been here over three years. Good job,
stupid a**h**.

You don't even have enough balls to post more than a few posts in a year.

Your just another user who is using another email/userid to get points. It's too bad the moderators
don't ban you, a**h**.

What kinda points? And how do I get some?
And how is it possible to have 9 messages and 200 dislikes? That's 22.2 dislikes per message.

 

[yetti]

Are you retarded? Do you have too many chromosones? What's wrong with you?

...

Take an English class, you f*****g dickhead a**h**!

It may not be his fault. The states where they teach creationism etc. are the least educated.
http://www.foxbusiness.com/features/2012/10/15/americas-best-and-worst-educated-states.html

 

[EvilLocks]

Kids deserve a mom and dad. Each has a distinctive role to play the other cant do as it should.

Says who? I know a gay couple personally with a kid and guess what? Their kid is perfectly normal, happy and balanced and with two loving parents who give all their love and attention.

 

[EvilLocks]

Look, you have NINE messages. You've been here over three years. Good job,
stupid a**h**.

9 posts and 200 dislikes.

 

[CaptainForehead]

Says who? I know a gay couple personally with a kid and guess what? Their kid is perfectly normal, happy and balanced and with two loving parents who give all their love and attention.

I also know a guy who didn't graduate high school, and is doing very well in showbiz.
Children don't need high school.

 

[EvilLocks]

I also know a guy who didn't graduate high school, and is doing very well in showbiz.
Children don't need high school.

The sarcasm is strong here. Anyway, needing education or needing opposite sex parents is not the same thing. What makes you think two people of the same sex can't possibly function as parents (@WhitePolarBear too)?
The couple I know does their absolute best and their child is as happy as can be. Why is that wrong?

 

[rclark]

I have a friend who is a single parent. He has two kids (never married).

The one was seven when he had him, he has a 64 IQ. He's doing very good for himself.

He can hold a steady job at a hospital. Granted, he's never going to have a job in the medical profession.

The fact that he holds a job in a good company, is something he can be proud of. And he makes a salary that
could hold a decent house (He's 22 years old).

This week I meant two of the worst parents, and it was a wife and dad.

The wife called her young son (two to six) a DICKHEAD for leaving a napkin. The kid said his dad beat on him
(in front of his father). She joked lets take you back home for your beatings.

All the couple did was complain about their young kids, IN FRONT OF THEM.

So, even heterosexual parents can be bad parents. Even ones in a relationship.

I really don't think it makes a difference.

 

[rclark]

People who have an IQ under 83 are unable to read and follow instructions.

Which is why it's illegal for people with an IQ of less than 83 to enroll in the army.

So what job could a guy with an IQ of 64 possibly do? None.

My guess is that you just pull numbers and stories out of your ***.

He washes dishes, you idiot.

I didn't say he was a medical doctor.

It's a true story. He's been doing it for less than a year.

The fact he can hold a job with a low IQ is amazing.

Sorry if this distracts from your self pity stories which are usually all about yourself.

 

[EvilLocks]

As of 2016 there were roughly 320 million children living in single-parent households, and they're all fucked? Please, I know so many people who grew up in single-parent households and became ''more adjusted'' than people who had two parents. Surely the ideal family situation is that of two loving parents living in the same household, but nearly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce - and don't get me started on all the unhappy marriages where people just stay together ''for the sake of their children'' or out of fear. We don't live in a perfect world were everything turns out as we planned, and a lot of children have to grow up in separate homes. Is it ideal? Absolutely not. At the same time a child is better off living in two separate homes than living under the same roof with two parents who hate each other's guts.

 

[yetti]

You don't know that.

Children who don't have two parents can never become properly adjusted.

And if you're talking about two dads, they are utterly fucked.

According to (serious) psychologists, people never recover from not having a mother. http://www.nytimes.com/1994/05/01/o...thers-are-at-special-risk-954179.html?mcubz=3

If they don't have a father, they won't be able to become properly socialized as it's the father who teach kids how to play. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/dads-roughhousing-children-crucial-early-development/story?id=13868801

They also won't have a figure of authority, which makes them more likely to seek a substitute for it, often among older kids who are also predisposed to become criminals. http://www.fathermag.com/news/2778-stats.shtml

And finally, you can't develop proper self-confidence without a father. If you don't get the "you can do it!" from your father, it's next to impossible to get it elsewhere, I should know. But even despite of that, my father was there for such things, he told me recently that he was the one who pushed me to start walking, and that if he had let my mom do it (Careful, he's going to fall!), I'd still be walking on all fours .

http://freakonomics.com/2011/10/19/fathers-and-delinquency-in-the-american-family/

My girlfriend defends the same nonsense without doing her homework on the subject.

It's like she wants to believe those things because it "feels good" and because she ate up all the media propaganda on the subject.

And when I say "it's science, data, statistics", she's like "I don't believe those!", and I guess she knows how stupid it sounds to say that. She just wants to believe that reality is different.

A child who doesn't have a father and a mother will never be properly adjusted. That's just how it is.



Science.

Real life observations.

When I was in psychiatry, almost none of the people there with me had had two parents.

As you know, I've dated many girls, and the ones who were the most fucked up were the ones who were missing a parent (often their dad, unsurprisingly).

That gay couple you know, even their best will never be enough for the reasons I cited above.

You bothered to link a NY Times article from 1994, before gay marriage was legal anywhere, and three full years before gay couples were able to adopt in any US state. How about a NY Times article from 2009, 15 years later, when both were legal in many places and thus some actual relevant data was available?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/08/magazine/08fob-wwln-t.html

“These children do just fine,” says Abbie E. Goldberg, an assistant professor in the department of psychology at Clark University, who concedes there are some who will continue to believe that gay parents are a danger to their children, in spite of a growing web of psychological and sociological evidence to the contrary. Her new book, “Lesbian and Gay Parents and Their Children,” is an analysis of more than 100 academic studies, most looking at groups of 30 to 150 subjects, and primarily on lesbian mothers, though of late there is a spike in research about gay fathers.

In most ways, the accumulated research shows, children of same-sex parents are not markedly different from those of heterosexual parents. They show no increased incidence of psychiatric disorders, are just as popular at school and have just as many friends. While girls raised by lesbian mothers seem slightly more likely to have more sexual partners, and boys slightly more likely to have fewer, than those raised by heterosexual mothers, neither sex is more likely to suffer from gender confusion nor to identify themselves as gay.

 

[yetti]

He washes dishes, you idiot.

I didn't say he was a medical doctor.

It's a true story. He's been doing it for less than a year.

The fact he can hold a job with a low IQ is amazing.

Sorry if this distracts from your self pity stories which are usually all about yourself.

It is amazing. Good for him. His dad sounds like a very loving and supportive parent.

 

[yetti]

And don't think for one second that you know anything about those people Evil. You don't.
___

I've seen divorce destroy many people around me. It's no joke, and yes I believe that they were all better off with parents "hating each other's guts" than a fragmented family.

Why do you dismiss the observations of others, and then tout your own as some kind of truth?

 

[yetti]

Poor research. There are better studies out there.

It's an analysis of more than 100 academic studies, most looking at groups of 30 to 150 subjects. You read the 100+ academic studies, and you know 100+ better ones?

 

[yetti]

Because I have a mountain of them, and then you have people who will say "hey I know this one person and it worked for them!"

Dude, you talk as if you're the only person who is capable of making an astute observation. There are gay people everywhere and in every family. Do you think she only knows one gay person in the universe? Do you think she's 10 years old and is just now for the first time observing what goes on in society?

 

[EvilLocks]

Divorce isn't necessarily better than having parents fighting all the time. I'll need to see some evidence before I believe that popular claim.

I've seen divorce destroy many people around me. It's no joke, and yes I believe that they were all better off with parents "hating each other's guts" than a fragmented family.

Divorce has deeper implications than people imagine, children see their world fall apart, their parents give up on each other, what standard does that set for the rest of their lives? "Hey you don't need to get your sh*t together and work things through with your partner, you can just give up like the coward you are and take the backdoor!"

Something is better than nothing. When you have parents that are fighting, no matter how harshly, there is still hope that the situation can be fixed. Once they have divorced, it's over, and the children will suffer much, much more than if their parents had tried to work it out.

I like you, but this is a load of sh*t honestly.
Children who are exposed to dad calling mom an ugly sl*t (or vice versa) regularly or even just a few times, will be damaged. I don't think people should give up on their marriages too lightly either and if I were in one I would fight hard for it, but at some point you have to realize what's best. Exposing children to constant arguing or worse - violence - is never a better answer, never.

 

[EvilLocks]

This is life Evil, you tell me I'm full of sh*t yet you seem to be advocating that if your parents have a few ugly fights, they should immediately divorce. This is the total load of sh*t. You work things through,no matter how ugly they are, because that's what life is about, you don't give up on everything like a f*****g coward (I know, that word again).

I never said people should give up on their marriage after ''a few fights'', I even said I agree that people shouldn't give up too easily. However, there comes a point where the family dynamics become truly toxic and there is no resolution other than ''giving up'' as you call it. Look, I have not grown up in a perfect household either, there has been fighting - and lots of it too. At a point I even overheard my mother saying to my father that she didn't know if their relationship could survive. Did it hurt me? Of course, deeply. Still they worked things through and have mostly been happy together. Many couples however can't seem to work through their issues no matter what, they have grown to resent each other or are simply just too different. Should couples who are absolutely miserable stay together ''for the sake of their children'', and resign to a lifetime of unhappiness and misery? And more importantly, how will their children react to growing up in a home where things are never OK?
If I ever have kids of course the ideal situation would be with my soulmate and the man I'll marry and spend my life with. But fairytales don't always come true, and what might seem like a dream at the time might turn into a nightmare a couple of years or decades down the road.

 

[CopeForLife]

Says who? I know a gay couple personally with a kid and guess what? Their kid is perfectly normal, happy and balanced and with two loving parents who give all their love and attention.

I doubt "perfectly normal" is applicable to this situation. I double what @WhitePolarBear said. That's not normal to have two parents armed with c****. Not gonna happen. Not in this universe.

I do not have anything against homo if they keep it to themselves but if they start to impact on other lives (homo sexual assaults on hetero males, having children etc) I will side with @Marky there.

My conservative city was strongly anti homo for centuries but recently I saw a school girl wrapped in an LGBT flag – so these fags spread their propaganda on children's minds – that's unacceptable for me.

They could be fags in other places like Gayrope where it's legal. I don't want to see sodomy on my streets.

 

[Marky]

Look around you, most people's life is in shambles and one of the main reasons is having had an absent or abusive parent.

To answer your question. Yes, I truly believe that they are all fucked to some degree.

When I look at the sh*t I've been through just because my dad would never encourage me or tell me he was proud of me...

That seems like nothing but it can be such a burden to carry for the child who had to endure that.

It makes you think. I've had a wonderful mother, a bit overprotective, that's the worst you could say about her.

But what about people who are in much worse situation? The worst being nothing having one of the parents at all.

And don't think for one second that you know anything about those people Evil. You don't.

We all want to make the world believe that we are fine. But once you get to know people, and I mean truly get to know them, you'll realize how much of a mess their lives are.

We all know this obviously. Or do we? Do some people here still want to believe that they are special in some way? That other people don't have as many problems as they do? That other people have not been through hell at a point in their lives?

So the argument "They are well-adjusted! I can see it!" cannot be taken seriously.

Divorce isn't necessarily better than having parents fighting all the time. I'll need to see some evidence before I believe that popular claim.

I've seen divorce destroy many people around me. It's no joke, and yes I believe that they were all better off with parents "hating each other's guts" than a fragmented family.

Divorce has deeper implications than people imagine, children see their world fall apart, their parents give up on each other, what standard does that set for the rest of their lives? "Hey you don't need to get your sh*t together and work things through with your partner, you can just give up like the coward you are and take the backdoor!"

Something is better than nothing. When you have parents that are fighting, no matter how harshly, there is still hope that the situation can be fixed. Once they have divorced, it's over, and the children will suffer much, much more than if their parents had tried to work it out.

Bravo to Fred again, exactly the stuff I've been meaning to post but hard typing from a smartphone while semi-vacationing on the weekend.

I'll also add I've taken a lot of heat over the years not getting married - but where is the incentive when 50% of marriages end in divorce and
ruin peoples lives in more ways that is ever seen on the surface. Then from the observations I've made and the things married couples
tell me I'd say another 25% of marriages are miserable as hell. That only leaves 25% of marriages which are pretty good and sound, not perfect but doable. This means you have 1 in 4 chance in picking the right partner - pretty crappy odds. Thank God in my 20's and 30's
things didn't work out with some of the girls I was in "love" with - looking back now I'm sure I would have ended up in the bad side of the 75 percentile.

 

[Marky]

It all depends how hard you and your partner are willing to make it work.

That's why we got marriage, you basically tell each other: "You are not running away and I am not running away."

You work through it, through thick and thin, no matter how desperate the situation seems to become.

And I think the key is, you don't ever let your relationship get worse, not even a little, so you never get to the point of no return @EvilLocks is talking about.

You stay awake and you pay attention, even to the things that seem irrelevant.

If you feel one ounce of resentment, you work it out, right now. Well, you do it privately with your partner of course.

I think this is what makes my relationship works so well. If something bothers my girlfriend, she will tell me, immediately, that's just how she works.

It took me a while to realize that this was why she was piratically never being a b**ch, or silently mad at me.

She's always at peace, and I'm always at peace because we work our problems out before they start becoming bigger and harder to solve.

The hard part is to become aware of what truly matters. And the partial answer to that is everything to some degree.

Listen to yourself, pay attention to your negative (and positive) emotions, and most importantly, talk. Get it out there, even if utter stupid sh*t, your partner is going to be there to tell you that you're being stupid (like I often am on this forum ).

But never let your anger and frustration brood for too long, this is how all seemingly functioning and happy relationships start to fall apart.

Nicely said - and well written too. Fred's got great writing skills, but I think we all know that.

I'm going to send this to my dad cause I can sense the tension that never seems to go away in my parents marriage for the last 3-5 years. I guess it might be typical for a couple married 40+ years with an empty nest!

 

[folfoxorack]

You can suck my dick, you U.S. citizen wanna be.

Look, you have NINE messages. You've been here over three years. Good job,
stupid a**h**.

You don't even have enough balls to post more than a few posts in a year.

Your just another user who is using another email/userid to get points. It's too bad the moderators
don't ban you, a**h**.

I don't want to be an US citizen ... You're going crazy dude

You need balls to post on HairLossTalk.com ? But ... did you assume my gender ?

You're not really polite and you're homophobic, not good at all.