Look At This Hot Guy And His Average Gf. People's Response Are So Mean

[hairblues]

I've had over a hundred dates from tinder and pof (spanning 5 years) and I have not once called someone before meeting them.

My advice - chat on tinder for a day then ask to swap numbers citing that you don't like using tinder - once you have said number exchange a handful of messages - if the conversation is flowing say something like, 'you're fun to chat to, lets go grab a drink this week,' - they say yes nearly all the time.

Essentially if someone gives you their phone number it means they want to go on a date with you.

this is the thing everyone proceeds a bit different and it think you found what works for you and shook found what works for him and @David_MPN needs to find what works for himself.

Advice is great but no absolutes....some people are not great on phone and some are. Some people not great on text and some are.

 

[SmoothSailing]

Very few meant very few women truly have that 'numbers' sexual drive the way men do.

Agreed. I interpreted differently.

Uses sex to feel validated.

Some guys use sex to feel validated like "This girl is willing to have sex with me!". This I'm sure of.

You seem to mean something different, which I'm not entirely sure I understand, but I kind of get.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

And if they don't (give your their phone number), do not, I repeat, do not insist or believe their 'I need to know you more' claim!

Guy with 87 first dates from online dating over the span of 5 years here, believe me, I've used every strategy in the book to convince a girl that hadn't said yes to my phone number request/meeting the first time.

I've always failed. I researched the issue and apparently, no guy has ever managed to turn this around. @shookwun who is also quite experienced in online dating said that if she refused to meet/chat on the phone, it was game over.

If a girl is not immediately enthusiastic about meeting you, it just means that she's not attracted to you, and never will be.

Sometimes, these girls will meet you out of boredom or inexperience. You'll recognize them quite quickly: no chemistry, the conversation doesn't flow, no opportunity to make any move (touch her, kiss her). If you're ever in that situation, abort immediately, you will never convince her to become attracted to you.

Finally, when I say inexperience, I'm talking about some (rare) girls who believe that looks don't matter, they told me they knew they weren't attracted to me from the picture but that maybe I could 'seduce' them and change their mind in real life.

Lol, not how human mating works.

It's never happened to me either.

I did change one woman's impression in real life, where I changed both myself and her opinion of me. But that took a lot of time and effort that nobody would ever get in an online dating context. A man will just be unmatched while hundreds of other men flood in and present themselves.

One thing I'm grateful to have learned though is that bad dates are not necessarily my fault. It's not necessarily that I didn't say the right thing, make the right joke, dress properly, pick the right restaurant, etc. Those things might matter but likely they didn't. Sometimes, usually, a date goes well simply because a girl is interested. I've had both really good and really bad dates, I can see from the range of responses that it's not necessarily up to me.

The big variable is whether or not she's enthusiastic about me. If she is, the date may go well. Otherwise it will probably be awkward.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Agreed. I interpreted differently.



Some guys use sex to feel validated like "This girl is willing to have sex with me!". This I'm sure of.

You seem to mean something different, which I'm not entirely sure I understand, but I kind of get.

It used to be validation for me. I was bad with women as a teen and always felt ugly, so when I began making an effort and dating properly at 24 I went on tons of dates and slept around to prove to myself that I wasn't a loser.

Now I care more about companionship and intimacy then sex. I miss that feeling of being able to tell someone everything, and I miss hugs at night, and I miss knowing about someones life and being part of it.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

this is the thing everyone proceeds a bit different and it think you found what works for you and shook found what works for him and @David_MPN needs to find what works for himself.

Advice is great but no absolutes....some people are not great on phone and some are. Some people not great on text and some are.

I think the phone helps in establishing personhood, a challenge in online dating where men can just be disparate avatars, part of the endless mob of potential male suitors.

A risk is that it can come off as "aggressive", since a phone call demands immediate attention.

 

[SmoothSailing]

Its happened only twice to me in over 5 years of dating.

A decent few times I've had girls say "Yes I'll meet you on the weekend". Then the weekend rolls on and she'll say "something came up".

I always bail in these scenarios (now), but I've also always found that if she accepts a phone call she won't do this.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Speaking of which, I had a date planned for Tuesday (yesterday), but the girl said something came up, can we reschedule? I gave her three choices and she chose Thursday night. I made a reservation and she said "I'll see you then, great !"

I'll be there, but I've been burned by women so many times. Maybe she got busy with work or with friends, it's possible. Or maybe she met Chad on Tuesday night, he fucked her brains out, she won't call me to cancel because that's awkward, and I'll show up to my reservation for two on Thursday night and sit alone, and apologize to the waiter like a dork.

 

[hairblues]

Agreed. I interpreted differently.



Some guys use sex to feel validated like "This girl is willing to have sex with me!". This I'm sure of.

You seem to mean something different, which I'm not entirely sure I understand, but I kind of get.

You mean with validation?

Look at it this way instead...its insecurity in need of validation. it's a 'fix'. Sex is powerful..if someone is insecure about themselves and can't emotionally connect with someone for a relationships sex can be a way to feel valid...in looks, persona, etc.

So Monday a girl feels pretty good about herself...Wednesday she's having some doubts....Friday she is on Tinder scrolling her matches...Saturday she's f*****g a new guy..Sunday she feels awesome and is independent feels great no need of men...By Wednesday she's starting to doubt herself again etc etc etc.

Not all women or even most..I'm just giving you a perspective or some promiscuous women and the mentality..They are not really enjoying themselves doing this. Something is 'off'.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

You mean with validation?

Look at it this way instead...its insecurity in need of validation. it's a 'fix'. Sex is powerful..if someone is insecure about themselves and can't emotionally connect with someone for a relationships sex can be a way to feel valid...in looks, persona, etc.

So Monday a girl feels pretty good about herself...Wednesday she's having some doubts....Friday she is on Tinder scrolling her matches...Saturday she's f*****g a new guy..Sunday she feels awesome and is independent feels great no need of men...By Wednesday she's starting to doubt herself again etc etc etc.

Not all women or even most..I'm just giving you a perspective or some promiscuous women and the mentality..They are not really enjoying themselves doing this. Something is 'off'.

Haha you know a lot of us guys are like this as well?

We're sometimes as insecure as you women but we just don't talk about it

 

[JohnsonDDG]

The day I met my current girlfriend, I had had sex with three other girls on the 3 days before our date.

If there ever was a date on which I was 100% confident, it was that one.

But she also was very, very enthusiastic before our date, wrote something like: "I would LOVE to meet you" on Tinder.

The combination of her attraction to me and my recent successes was lethal.

In this post, the secret to become confident (!) so you will have sex with women more easily:

Just have sex with three other women beforehand. You're all welcome.

Oh man, giving that advice on here is like sending pictures of hamburgers to Africans

 

[hairblues]

Haha you know a lot of us guys are like this as well?

We're sometimes as insecure as you women but we just don't talk about it

I agree

BUT I think you guys have a genuine 'orgasmic' pleasure of random women that few women have the same level of pleasure with random men. I mean we can come easily enough with skill and arousal but not all the time and not with all men. So if I am averaging 4 men in 1 month it's unlikely I am going to come with all 4 random men one night stands...where men will come with all 4 random women.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

In case you didn't know, this is the reason:

http://metro.co.uk/2014/11/13/funny-good-looking-rich-men-give-women-better-orgasms-4946774/

Just only have sex with ridiculously attractive rich guys, guaranteed orgasm every time.

You're welcome.

So all I have to do is be funny, tall, good looking, and rich - glad its that simple

 

[hairblues]

So all I have to do is be funny, tall, good looking, and rich - glad its that simple

I don't know...

Right now I am talking to a guy who is 10 years older then me, really good looking, tall, slender/fit, extremely successful profession and highly educated, and I think he may be crazy wealthy (owns summer home in most expensive area in USA/at least East Coast and owns a home in arguably the most expensive sections of manhattan) AND I cannot seem to motivate myself to go meet up with him.

Think I am depressed.

 

[SmoothSailing]

In case you didn't know, this is the reason:

http://metro.co.uk/2014/11/13/funny-good-looking-rich-men-give-women-better-orgasms-4946774/

Just only have sex with ridiculously attractive rich guys, guaranteed orgasm every time.

You're welcome.

"And it also confirmed another well-worn cliché – that practice makes perfect – stating: ‘Women who began having sexual intercourse at earlier ages had more sex partners, experienced more orgasms, and were more sexually satisfied with their partners.’’"

Practice, lol, younger first time + more partners = likely more attractive = more attractive mates.

Doubt it's anything to do with practice.

 

[Xander94]

I don't know...

Right now I am talking to a guy who is 10 years older then me, really good looking, tall, slender/fit, extremely successful profession and highly educated, and I think he may be crazy wealthy (owns summer home in most expensive area in USA/at least East Coast and owns a home in arguably the most expensive sections of manhattan) AND I cannot seem to motivate myself to go meet up with him.

Think I am depressed.

Drowning in Chads all these years has taken its toll on you it's time to find a farmboy and settle down.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

I don't know...

Right now I am talking to a guy who is 10 years older then me, really good looking, tall, slender/fit, extremely successful profession and highly educated, and I think he may be crazy wealthy (owns summer home in most expensive area in USA/at least East Coast and owns a home in arguably the most expensive sections of manhattan) AND I cannot seem to motivate myself to go meet up with him.

Think I am depressed.

Perhaps you doubt yourself and deep down you think it will never work out so you say to yourself - whats the point of trying anymore.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Drowning in Chads all these years has taken its toll on you it's time to find a farmboy and settle down.

 

[hairblues]

Drowning in Chads all these years has taken its toll on you it's time to find a farmboy and settle down.

No i think the unpredictability and mortality of hair loss has me down.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I don't know...

Right now I am talking to a guy who is 10 years older then me, really good looking, tall, slender/fit, extremely successful profession and highly educated, and I think he may be crazy wealthy (owns summer home in most expensive area in USA/at least East Coast and owns a home in arguably the most expensive sections of manhattan) AND I cannot seem to motivate myself to go meet up with him.

Think I am depressed.

Hair loss has taken a toll on many of us.

 

[hairblues]

Perhaps you doubt yourself and deep down you think it will never work out so you say to yourself - whats the point of trying anymore.

Ironically i think i am afraid of it actually working out. and hiding hair loss issues medications etc.