Memoirs Of A Landwhale. Blah Blah Blah

[SmoothSailing]

A good rule in life is to pick your battles wisely.

I never fight if I know I'm going to lose.

The key is to accumulate enough theoretical knowledge and practical experience to know when you cannot win.

Having a sharp sense of intuition (or listening to your gut) is also important.

When my ex girlfriend told me she had an abortion and could not see me anymore, it took me a fraction of a second to know that I would never win this fight (winning = avoiding a break-up).

Of course, there are no absolutes, there are always exceptions.

So what did I do? I did everything right, remained rational, supportive, tried every reasonable option knowing that it was most likely fucked up anyway.

Therefore I have no regrets, I know I did my best.

Just always try to do your best, learn from your experiences and know when to stand down.

Also, one thing I've learned, once you've won the argument, or once you've outlined exactly why you're right, just let her "win". It makes no difference at that stage, either she realized you're right and just doesn't want to lose or is too emotional, or she doesn't realize and never will.

You have to let your emotions pass though, very frustrating to "lose" when you know you actually won, but it's the best option at that stage.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Imagine having a decent face and head of hair... oh, wait, you already have those, nevermind.

Have you mistaken me for another poster?

I'm a nw4

 

[SmoothSailing]

Yep, there's nothing else you can do anyway.

This is why Groundhog Day is one of my favorite movies.

The guy relives the same day over and over again for 30000 days (according to the director) and even though he gets things as right as they can be, there are some battles (like saving a homeless guy from death) that he's going to lose over and over again, no matter what he does.

Not only that, but in real life, you won't get 30000 changes to get something right. So you really shouldn't sweat, do the best you can with the means you have available and don't forget to take the context into account.

My girlfriend firmly believe that being a single mother isn't detrimental to a child's development at all. What I did: cite the stats that are out there, make a couple of jokes that I stole from Chris Rock "You cannot tell your kid, I'm going to tell your Dad!", made her laugh, roll her eyes playfully because she says those stats are probably flawed and made-up by woman-haters.

And that was it, she wasn't convinced. Sometimes she'll bring it up and laugh at our disagreement, and I'll just say: "It's not a matter of opinion ."

Nothing more I can do without looking like a try-hard or starting a big fight that won't benefit me in any way. So it's best to leave it alone.

Reminds me of a quote from a rapper I like called Atmosphere.

She went vegetarian for the baby
Third trimester, I see the kid kick
She showed me outside when she gave me a cigarette
sh*t, there's no way to measure it
Not every pony grows up to be a pegasus
Ya gotta let people be hypocrites
Count your blessin's and mind yo business

 

[blackg]

I'm kind of triggered just thinking about.

It's not worth getting triggered, Dave. We are all human and ALL play games.
Playing games is usually done for one reason... Self preservation.
Even playing games for a selfish ego boost could be described an act of self preservation.
Believe it or not it is another form of coping.

Think about it, everyone. Not just you, Dave.

 

[hairblues]

Girls always have back ups but it's a subconscious process for them. Don't point it out to them or they will BSOD (nerds will understand).

"I have a lot of male friends!" LOL!

I build back ups consciously. Without cheating. Sometimes I'll get a text of a former f*** buddy in front of my girlfriend, asking to see me.

She sometimes sees it (girls tend to be paranoid and jealous) and when it happens, she'll give me some A grade sex a few hours later.

Always have back ups, it's fair game since women always do it too, but will not admit it, or it's about deception on a massive scale again.

"Back ups?! Why?!" And all the other girls of the forum liked. Not surprised.

I never had backups when i had BF's.

I am a ride or die b**ch--when i am in it at least.

If i am looking at 'back ups' as you put it I am already out.



Its kind of odd to me you guys have this distrust of women--yet you are telling women on a forum when they have a BF to have a backup.


Why commit to someone if you want backups--Then just date don't commit.

 

[hairblues]

With all his money and status, that's who he ended up with? Another evidence that looks matter.

He met her way before he was famous.

like way before. And shes actually beautiful.

 

[hairblues]

Face you wanted to say

agree his face is great if he did not have that face money status would not matter

He met her before rich before famous and if his face had been 'different' he would not have been a successful actor and probably not as charming and comfortable in spite of his dwarfism.

 

[hairblues]

You can choose not to play and ignore the rules, but you can be sure that you're going to suffer the consequences.

My girlfriend likes to tell me that she won't love me any less or leave me if I get fat or if I ever become unemployed.

Yeah right.

I would leave if you got fat and unemployed

but i dont need a back up to do it.

 

[hairblues]

I would not leave a man if he got unemployed!! That is crazy.
For fat, it depends how fat... and if he does something to lose the weight.

well not unemployed but if he became unemployed slacker who did not have an income/finacnes depressed lazy couch potato with no ambition etc

 

[hairblues]

I want children, that's why.
.

No i mean for women why have 'back ups'''

not 'you'.

 

[hairblues]

To keep her boyfriend on his toes, increase her perceived value.

i dont think 'we' need back ups..just go to a club or lounge with a man in 'that' dress and men looking at 'her' will be all she needs to keep him on toes.

you just walk a few feet ahead of him so he can see mens reactions...

or you make an entrance when meeting him somewhere...

you let them get a look--while other men are also getting a look.

make sense?

 

[SmoothSailing]

 

[hairblues]

So many games!

I am no expert

my experience men either love you or they dont.

and when they love you, they fall very quickly almost immediately because it starts with intense infatuation from them.

playing games (my experience) works for a while but not forever.

because when the games are played and that is all that is keeping someone---thats not love thats intrigue and being challenged....so it becomes a push/pull sort of thing...which the sex is great but emotionally turmoil.

 

[hairblues]

What you're describing is emotional abuse, not playful push and pull, I've noticed it before (in other couples).

It will work, you'll keep her, but she will be miserable, so that's not worth it. Don't play games.

I'm only talking about keeping a rich social life, meeting girls regularly, having options without cheating or purposefully making her feel insecure.

i 'get it' from your perspective as a man

What i mean is for the women...

I dont think we have to do that to keep mans interest.

Wait side bar

You kept your Tinder account active while you have GF?

 

[SmoothSailing]

I'd say the most important things women should do to keep a man around are: keeping him sexually satisfied and not being a b**ch.

And don't get fat.

 

[hairblues]

Peter Dinklage wife in 90s

shes hot for a Theater girl--men were probably all over her...in 90's at least 'here' this look little cute, elfin girl look was super hot to men--especially artists and theater nerds

 

[hairblues]

It can go into the 'sexually satisfied', no way I'm able to get it up if my girlfriend becomes a landwhale (aaand we're back on topic).

you said the best sex you had was with a woman who was chunky

(did i remember that wrong?)

 

[hairblues]

And don't get fat.

I think men are actually forgiving of a few extra pounds.

but some men and women really blow up when married and have fat kids

i always thought it must be because they are unhappy.

only time I ever gained a large amount of weight (30 pounds) was a period time i was very unhappy about a tragedy..i gained weight because i did not want to be bothered to cook so ate a lot of delivery, and i was not working out or active because lethargic and it was the WRONG age to be like that hormonal i was late 30s.

I lost it but not until i kind of recovered from my grief.

 

[hairblues]

Cuuuute

Yeah i think she is pretty and i think in her current pics she aged well.

 

[EvilLocks]

I would not leave a man if he got unemployed!! That is crazy.
For fat, it depends how fat... and if he does something to lose the weight.

If he is unemployed with no ambition to work in the foreseeable future it's very unattractive to me, but I wouldn't dump a guy who's lost his job and is actively trying to get a new one.