"paying For It" By Chester Brown - Tales From Norwood Cemetery

[cocohot]

1) 1,76 cm X 69 kg

2) No I can't

3) No, I've been mocked many times due to my appearance, many girls laughed at my face and told me I was really ugly, some of them even called me freak. Years later, a few colleagues even told me the only reason I was mocked at work was due to the fact that I look like "a living corpse". Some girls even said that it pains them to even look at me.

4) Thank you very much, friend, I appreciate it! It takes effort.

Your height is average for you country according to google.

I'm not going to ask you to post a picture but it sounds like your problem judging by the living corpse comment is that you look unhealthy. Are you pale? I think that when you are bald then it's important to try not to look sickly and to look healthy, if you have a naturally skinny frame then bodybuilding would be a good idea, just to get to a point where you are an average weight, and pale isn't good either if that is the case you should do something about that.

Do you have clear skin? Glasses? Good posture? White teeth?

A big thing when you are depressed is a kind of empty look, I've caught my reflection when I'm in my lowest depressed mood and it's incredible how dead and haunted I look in the eyes.

Did these women who mocked you to your face and called you ugly know you? Would they have been able to pick up that you are unpopular before you approached them?

Your role model should be Fred, look how he is turning his life around.

 

[buckthorn]

Yeah but in the meantime you need to be able to live life, whether it's medication from a therapist that allows you to function in life or something else, you need to do something because you can't throw away an entire year.

Well, the only time I "throw away" would be on here, which I am quite often. the only thing affected by this is my social life. It's hard for me to be around people when I look like this. I have been functioning ok... working on houses and business, eating well, working out. But, you're right It's hard to live like this. My mental state of mind is f*cked.

 

[I.D WALKER]

No, I will never know what it was like to bald at a young age. But, I know what it's like to be so critically hard on my physical being that I spend all day in the woods avoiding people. That's what most my ife has been like..[/QUOTE]

Hey Nature boy, like you I enjoy the tranquility that nature freely offers us, however for you my dear friend, I strongly urge that you seriously consider avoiding these moon-lit escapades off the beaten track from now on in spite of my urgings conflicting impact on what might be your true calling
Leaving your spade at home, is a sound rule to follow, for anyone panged by a persistent hankering of going for a hike in the woods.

 

[Mister_you]

for the first time in human history treatments other than minoxidil and finasteride are coming and most importantly tsuji/kyocera is getting closer and closer to fruitition as we speak,we're pretty lucky to be quite possibly the last generation to deal with hairloss.so look up guys, better days are coming.

 

[jd_uk]

You always give solid advice. The fact is, I myself would never want to date a person in my situation. It's not just the hair loss, although that is the biggest thing. She is one of those genuinely good people, that goes out of her way for those around her. I know there is a decent probability that if I shaved it to a zero she might stick around. It's not that. As cliche as it sounds, one really does have to be content with their life to truly give love to another. Not totally blissfully happy, but content with who they are. Another cliche - she deserves no less.

I understand that..I have been there. But what you should remember is that we are all our own worst critics. Balding sucks for various reasons, there can't be any denying it - but almost everyone here focuses on hair loss more than the average person. Just in visiting this forum, our awareness of baldness and its impact goes up and while i'm not saying this is a bad place (it can help people a lot to vent), it can also make us feel worse about our situation too because it is regularly being burnt into our minds. I posted some stuff a few days ago on here and before I know it I have around 10 posts to reply to and many of them trying to drill into me how balding is worse than I think. Is that mentally healthy for me? To spend so much time thinking about something I don't particularly like anyway? The more time anyone spends thinking about one thing, the more it is going to be in their subconscious and regardless of how strong they are it will heighten the impact on their life.

What i'm trying to say in a round about way is that perhaps you can just take a bit of a break from all of this and just to say the girl (assuming she knows), 'look i have my insecurities yeah but lets hang out and have some fun...just put yourself out there. You've already decided you want to look into a hair transplant so you have that possibility in future but for now why not try and live for the moment? Having sex, going on dates, doing new things with a cool girl... It's going to help you battle the depression over hair loss...you seem a decent guy and just for that you have a lot to offer her that many fullhead guys don't and probably also do physically too. The hair loss insecurity won't magically go away, but it could lessen until such time that life circumstances change or until you get a hair transplant.

Finally..everyone has things they don't like or hate about themselves. About a month ago, I went on a date with a nice girl..pretty, blue eyes, blonde etc. We're getting down to it about to have sex and she wants the lights off. To cut a long story short it turns out she is super embarassed about the self harming scars that she had over her thighs from when she was a teenager. She was practically shaking at what my reaction to it might be. Maybe when I was 21 I would have reacted differently but due to my own insecurities over hair loss I think I was pretty empathetic. She's a cool girl and we we're still in touch but now just as friend ( because she lives in another country). Just writing that because I saw someone post about how women don't have insecurities on the same level as guys.

 

[samantha3333]

Yes, those women knew me. Aside from having an ugly face (which is the reason I've been bullied a lot): I'm very pale, I've got bad eye circles my facial skin has been ruined by acne scars, I have crooked teeth. I'm also extremely skinny, with small wrists and narrow shoulders. On top of that, take my Norwood 4 into account, and I really look like a living corpse. Yes, I also have a "dead eyes", one of the reasons people think I'm depressed or very sad, or simply a weirdo.

It takes balls of steel to live a life while looking like myself.

gnomesayin

 

[cocohot]

Yes, those women knew me. Aside from having an ugly face (which is the reason I've been bullied a lot): I'm very pale, I've got bad eye circles my facial skin has been ruined by acne scars, I have crooked teeth. I'm also extremely skinny, with small wrists and narrow shoulders. On top of that, take my Norwood 4 into account, and I really look like a living corpse. Yes, I also have a "dead eyes", one of the reasons people think I'm depressed or very sad, or simply a weirdo.

It takes balls of steel to live a life while looking like myself.

If they knew you they were just saying that to bully you. It would be different if complete strangers said that.

Pale = Tan, will help dark circles too.
Skinny=Bodybuild, bring yourself up to "normal".
Crooked teeth, Wear braces
NW4=Take finasteride and get a hair transplant like Fred did and keep it short.
Depressed=Get a therapist to help you with meds or talking to stop you feeling and looking so depressed.

If you do all that you will get better looking every single day for the next couple of years as you build your body up, your teeth straighten and your hair transplant fills in.

Fred was in your exact position at your age and fixed everything and look at him now, juggling three women at the same time.

If you haven't done everything you can then you don't really have a right to complain. If you look around you men everywhere are bodybuilding and/or moisturising and/or whitening/straightening their teeth etc. We have to do this because modern women are so picky. If you sit there and do nothing and just feel sorry for yourself you get left behind by the competition, life in general is a competition. That's just the way it is now.

 

[samantha3333]

That kid is super cute, and NW1, and a celebrity, and he has a (again, looksmatched) girlfriend.

OK.

What are you saying?

lol, Wot? He looks like a kid, exactly. Nobody wants to date someone who looks like a kid.

Lol at women telling ugly guys it's their fault if they're lonely while they have sex with handsome deadbeats.

Yes, it's the ugly guys' fault if they don't sort out their social anxiety issues. Nobody wants to hang out with negative people, no matter how attractive they are.

 

[samantha3333]

Looking like that at 24 as a celebrity is TOUGH I can tell you! Celebrities tend to be more obsessed with looks. When you're surrounded by strict 10/10s in Hollywood, this kiddish look will place you at the bottom of the food chain.

 

[cocohot]

Looking like that at 24 as a celebrity is TOUGH I can tell you! Celebrities tend to be more obsessed with looks. When you're surrounded by strict 10/10s in Hollywood, this kiddish look will place you at the bottom of the food chain.

You're putting him up as really ugly when he's just a bit babyfaced and skinny, he's still a multi millionaire with clear skin, good teeth and a full head of hair, not exactly encouraging to someone like Dante.

 

[Dante92]

You're putting him up as really ugly when he's just a bit babyfaced and skinny, he's still a multi millionaire with clear skin, good teeth and a full head of hair, not exactly encouraging to someone like Dante.

"Not exactly encouraging" is an understatement.

 

[samantha3333]

You're putting him up as really ugly when he's just a bit babyfaced and skinny, he's still a multi millionaire with clear skin, good teeth and a full head of hair, not exactly encouraging to someone like Dante.

He's not ugly but his baby face is a major dealbreaker for a lot of women. This is NOT something he can fix as you can tell from his aging process. And you can also tell he's also receding a bit.
Even my friend who looks like he can be the impersonator of Rowan Atkinson has an active social life. I am in no way trying to downplay the severity of social anxiety but I've been through years of depression, from being the popular girl in school to knowing barely anyone in university. I mean, I made not even a single close friend in unversity. No one I could hang out with frequentlt. Self harm, suicide, been there done that. Now I am no longer depressed. Therapy didn't help me. I just learned to love my life.

 

[jd_uk]

He's not ugly but his baby face is a major dealbreaker for a lot of women. This is NOT something he can fix as you can tell from his aging process. And you can also tell he's also receding a bit.
Even my friend who looks like he can be the impersonator of Rowan Atkinson has an active social life. I am in no way trying to downplay the severity of social anxiety but I've been through years of depression, from being the popular girl in school to knowing barely anyone in university. I mean, I made not even a single close friend in unversity. No one I could hang out with frequentlt. Self harm, suicide, been there done that. Now I am no longer depressed. Therapy didn't help me. I just learned to love my life.

Ummm...

 

[samantha3333]

Once you find a woman who's interested in you, none of these social skills BS matter. That's not how human mating works.

When I was depressed and negative, I thought I could still act normal in front of people. I could still be sociable. I was wrong.
My negativity slipped in. People had a problem with it.
I got rejected by a guy, who initially fell head over heels for me, for that I was talking about my own issues all the time. I didnt even realise I was doing it.
This is exactly how human mating works. Your social skills dont matter if you just want to get laid. If you want sincere friendships and romantic relationships, it means A LOT

 

[cocohot]

He's not ugly but his baby face is a major dealbreaker for a lot of women. This is NOT something he can fix as you can tell from his aging process. And you can also tell he's also receding a bit.
Even my friend who looks like he can be the impersonator of Rowan Atkinson has an active social life. I am in no way trying to downplay the severity of social anxiety but I've been through years of depression, from being the popular girl in school to knowing barely anyone in university. I mean, I made not even a single close friend in unversity. No one I could hang out with frequentlt. Self harm, suicide, been there done that. Now I am no longer depressed. Therapy didn't help me. I just learned to love my life.

Yeah but you're a woman so you still had boyfriends, you didn't learn to love life, what actually happened is your life got better so you became happier.

Dante is a man so when he fails he fails completely. Life is much harder for him. He still feels as bad you did when you cut yourself because his life hasn't gotten any better.

Did you commute to university? Did you have other friends there going in or did you have to start from scratch?

 

[samantha3333]

But of course Fred, you can always use this male pattern baldness and women being too image-driven b/s as an excuse why you get rejected by some women in the future. I think it's easier than sorting your sh*t out. I'm still trying to sort myself out. It's been hard to rebuild my social circle but I'm making good progress.

 

[cocohot]

waiting for Fred's reply

 

[samantha3333]

Yeah but you're a woman so you still had boyfriends, you didn't learn to love life, what actually happened is your life got better so you became happier.

Not really. My life didn't get better before I survived depression. My hair is still deteriorating. I was failing university. After an attempt at self harm, I realised how sh*t my life has become and I hated every minute of it. I did a lot of self help and got my life back on track in two year. It was a slow process. I attempted self harm again during those two-year period.

Dante is a man so when he fails he fails completely. Life is much harder for him. He still feels as bad you did when you cut yourself because his life hasn't gotten any better.

Did you commute to university? Did you have other friends there going in or did you have to start from scratch?

I moved to a different country for university. Zero friend. My depression started due to hair-unrelated reasons. Then there came the hair loss b/s which made my depression 10x worse. On top of that, due to my depression, I made very bad judgement and gone out with an emotionally abusive man for two years. I had barely any friends in university even though I lived in student hall. Then after undergrad, I moved to another city for postgrad, again, didn't know anyone before I moved here. I now have my gals who I can hang out and talk about my issues with. I even travelled around the world recently by myself and made some amazing friends in hostels who invited me to their home countries.
Dont mean to brag but there's life if you put yourself out there Dante.

 

[samantha3333]

Many, many girls get into relationships with abusive boyfriends who have the personality of a rock, yet they stay with them.

You are saying this to a woman who's been through domestic abuse and this is actually really hurtful to read.
Girls stay with abusive men because they have mental issues! No healthy women will stay with abusive men!

No healthy women can stand an overly depressed man either. Depression affects social skills more than on a superficial level. If you read about depression and comedians, you would know those comedians who are so good at making people laugh can have deeper issues when dealing with people. And based on my experience, people tend not to tell you if you;re being negative and unpleasant.

I didn't have problems banging 8+/10, but I drove them away after a short period of time because of my "bad social skills".

 

[samantha3333]

To be fair, after seeing your gif to mock a previous domestic abuse sufferer, I can conclude that you have no soul and are the most fking shallow and horrible person i've seen. End of discussion.