Scaring myself into a hermit life

[s.a.f]

As I said before if you're an investment banker, I.T proffesional, salesman or skilled engineer it will be your performance that counts 99%.

I know a guy from the saleseman business and he said they reject people who dont have the right appearance ALLT THE TIME. So bullshit! There are a lot of physical demands you have to live up to as a salesman. Part of getting the performance required is to have pleasant looks that attracts customers. Even if you can theoretically sell something to customers they will still hire those who look the best since they believe those people have the right attributes to perform. The salesman business is the most superficial of them all for f*ck sake!

Depends on the type of sales you're talking about, if you mean door to door canvassing then maybe you have a point. but real salesmanship between businesses is more about persuasion (ie convincing the client that they need your product/services even when they dont.) There are all sorts of tecniques they use like reverse Psychology and clever use of wording in their questions. Some people can do it some will never be able to.
And for top jobs you have to show on paper that you can bring in the big contracts.
What do you think the average salesman looks like?
I can just imagine major technology/defence companies sending 19 yr old baywatch babe types to seal multibillion$ deals.

 

[superfrankie]

Depends on the type of sales you're talking about, if you mean door to door canvassing then maybe you have a point. but real salesmanship between businesses is more about persuasion (ie convincing the client that they need your product/services even when they dont.)

What do you think the average salesman looks like?
I can just imagine major technology/defence companies sending 19 yr old baywatch babe types to seal multibillion$ deals.

I was more refering to unqualified salesman jobs. Jobs in electronic stores, mobile stores etc.

To be totally honest with you, I tend to get more convinced by salesmen who are bald or look a bit geeky simply because they radiate some form of security and above all competence. Its the same when I visit a doctor. If the doctor is a NW1 I feel some kind of suspiciousness towards him. (even before my hair loss started) If he`s bald for example he looks more mature, radiates competence and therefore I feel safer with him and can trust him more. This is my general feeling. Does it make any sense? :dunno:

 

[AnberlinFan84]

I work in a business where I meet tons of people from various countries and I notice in particular alot of German customers who are going bald/balding and it doesnt seem to bother them that much. Many have great looking women with them and they dress nice and are real pleasant to talk to. It might be a little more common in Europe but I mean it doesnt stop them from having a good time. Just thought I would throw that random tidbit in!

 

[AnberlinFan84]

Damn man that is rough about your girl. Chances are she was a b**ch anyways and would have found something else to leave you for so don't sweat it. You will find a woman who doesn't care and until then screw it. I would just be up front with any woman and let her see the real you. No point in trying to cover it up all the time just to get her to like you only to find out you are balding.

 

[uncomfortable man]

So @ work today I go into the break room to eat my lunch real quick before going outside for a smoke, so I had my beanie on (cold outside) and one of my co-workers (an asian chick) says to me.... you look good with a beanie on. And so another loud mouth woman says, "So does that mean that he doesn't look good without it?"...... total silence. Shiet men, she might as well have said, Hey you look good with that bag over your face.... big improvement. God, don't you just love underhanded compliments? :shakehead:

 

[Obsidian]

Maybe she was being a flirt or playfully teasing you? She might find you attractive.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Then how come she never gave me so much as a second glance when I didn't have the beanie on? It was like she wasn't able to appreciate how handsome my face actually is until my beanie was suddenly framing it for her and covering up my upstaging forehead. This is nothing new.... I get plenty of aroused glances, even stares from women when I'm covered up but NEVER when I'm openly bald. You don't have to be Sherlock to figure this one out.

 

[superfrankie]

I get plenty of aroused glances, even stares from women when I'm covered up but NEVER when I'm openly bald. You don't have to be Sherlock to figure this one out.

This is exactly what I experience too. When I have a cap on, I get glances that tells me they like what they see. But when Im uncovered I rarely get this kind of attention. Im not going to say it never happens but its very rare. Is it a coincidence? Im just kidding, of course its not :gay:

 

[Obsidian]

Then how come she never gave me so much as a second glance when I didn't have the beanie on? It was like she wasn't able to appreciate how handsome my face actually is until my beanie was suddenly framing it for her and covering up my upstaging forehead. This is nothing new.... I get plenty of aroused glances, even stares from women when I'm covered up but NEVER when I'm openly bald. You don't have to be Sherlock to figure this one out.

you don't know that, were you constantly looking at her face every-time she was near you (if so, kind of creepy)? And that thing of 'NEVER' is just you and your self-consciousness believing that. Not everyone is looking at you, that is just plain narcissism.

 

[superfrankie]

Then how come she never gave me so much as a second glance when I didn't have the beanie on? It was like she wasn't able to appreciate how handsome my face actually is until my beanie was suddenly framing it for her and covering up my upstaging forehead. This is nothing new.... I get plenty of aroused glances, even stares from women when I'm covered up but NEVER when I'm openly bald. You don't have to be Sherlock to figure this one out.

Not everyone is looking at you, that is just plain narcissism.

Ive never heard U-man mentioned that he believes everyone is looking at him. He only gives a few concrete examples from what you can call reality, thats all.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Not everyone is looking at you, that is just plain narcissism.

It's not because everyone looks at everyone else, it can't be helped.

If you were to only shave half your beard and then go out in public, you WILL notice people's reactions to how you look and it WONT be in your head.

 

[AnberlinFan84]

No one is really going to care you are bald, I meet people all day long and could care less if that person was male, female, bald or not. It becomes an issue when you are trying to get people to like you and constantly have it in your thoughts.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

UCMan,

I got plenty of looks (good one) when I have a cap on, ZERO without, whether I am smiling or not. Just the fact of how it is.

Don't listen to other people trying to convince u it's in your head.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

I'm a technical architect / enterprise design consultant, so while I personally work in a broadly IT related field, the people I work with are from *all* parts of a given business.

IT, like I said.

 

[superfrankie]

I'm a technical architect / enterprise design consultant, so while I personally work in a broadly IT related field, the people I work with are from *all* parts of a given business.

IT, like I said.

You can look like a geek, an UFO, ET, rainman, be fat, bald, superfat and bald, big ears and nose, terrible teeth, ugly as sh*t and still get a job related to IT. Most of them is all about performance and zero demands on looks. Thats the way it is. Please, please, please dont come in here and say this is universal in every line of business, cause its NOT!

 

[superfrankie]

UCMan,I got plenty of looks (good one) when I have a cap on, ZERO without, whether I am smiling or not. Just the fact of how it is.

No, its all about confidence. Thats the reason behind it. :jackit:

Don't listen to other people trying to convince u it's in your head.

No, its only in his head. Of course it is. :gay:

 

[BrightonBaldy]

I dont want this to sound like an attack on GeminiX personally but it does annoy me that somebody in their situation comments on job opportunities, giving advice on confidence or women to the rest of us.

They live in a totally different world to the rest of us, our inner selves arent reflected in how we portray ourselves to the outside world physically, as most of us see ourselves as being regular average people, so thats what we put out there with flaws and all. She lives in a world where her inner self feels like it HAS to be shown externally and as its so uncommon, it superseeds any other phsyical attributes others might look at to the point where she isnt even measured on the same scale as the rest of us, in terms of attraction or how productive she could be in one role or another.


It'd be the same as amputee with one leg applying for a secretaries position, a role that would normally end up with somebody who is attractive. Even if they were totally ugly, it wouldnt affect their chances at all, as they have an uncommon physical attribute that removes them from the same scrutiny people with 2 legs would receive.



As I said I've nothing against GeminiX but if I wouldnt read too much into their life experience when it comes to baldness/being ugly.

 

[GeminiX]

Wow, you guys are unbelievable!

I'm constantly amazed how you cherry pick bits of an argument to try to make yourselves feel better about your own delusions.

So to recap what we have learned from this thread:

1. As I'm transsexual, that somehow makes my experience in the job market invalid, this is despite the fact that I started transition when I was 38 (three years ago), yet have been pursuing a career for about 20 years prior to that and presented as male.

2. Because I work in IT, it invalidates my experience of the thousands of people I meet in companies who have nothing to do with IT whatsoever. Presumably it is believed that I have some kind of employment aura which applies to any role in any company I work for.

3. If you work in IT, looks don't matter, but for every other job you must have the looks of a model or you have no chance. This applies to every other career choice you could possibly ever make including construction, engineering, politics, the armed forces, law, catering and carpentry etc.

Honestly guys, you're setting yourselves up to fail, and you're trying to find excuses to do so.

If you want to do that to yourselves, then fill your boots, but don't try to convince others that they have to be failures too, that's just sad and selfish.

 

[GeminiX]

lol you are so interesting! yeah it made sense

I must say, you are quite interesting as a person. And I dont mean that in a negative way.

Cheers both

I have quite a lot of "life experience" which is probably due to my constantly trying to find ways to take my mind off my condition.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

Wow, you guys are unbelievable!

I'm constantly amazed how you cherry pick bits of an argument to try to make yourselves feel better about your own delusions.

3. If you work in IT, looks don't matter, but for every other job you must have the looks of a model or you have no chance. This applies to every other career choice you could possibly ever make including construction, engineering, politics, the armed forces, law, catering and carpentry etc.

:whistle:

so us saying looks matter in the workplace, is the same as saying 'you must be a model in order to get any job', to you? thats cherry picking mashed up with a bit of delusion and shoving extreme words into out mouths all in one.



heed your own advice please and stay sensible.