So What's Wrong With Being Confident Again?

[DoctorHouse]

I don't know, she got really wet when I was with her the last time and has sucked/jacked me off and done different positions without complaining. Even when she "broke" it off she was still touching me, and wanting to hug, which I refused.

She's quite sincere in her approach to things, more so than anyone else I've met, male or female, so I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. I agree though that if she was really into me it's unlikely that she would act the way she did. Occam's razor and all that.

Speaking of which, I can't f*****g wait to get under the knife.

Zircon, I guess she thought you were getting "serious" quicker than expected so now I understand her mindset. As Fred said, if a woman is goo goo and gaga for you, she would never make comments like that. Sounds like you found a good match so I would definitely keep at it and see where it goes. And if it ends somehow, just remember it happened only to spare you from something that was not meant to be. Long lasting relationships in your generation is very rare these days anyway. If you can beat the odds, more power to you.

 

[shookwun]

The deal is never sealed. I was sure it was with my ex, because she seemed so in love with me.

But in the end, the feminist propaganda she believed in (her career, dreams, I don't need a man or a family) won over her love for me.

She even seemed angry at the fact she couldn't hate me for something, she said it was even harder for her since I was so irreproachable. The worst she said was: "You always want to appear cool, literally and figuratively."

So you can be this "perfect" boyfriend, she can be very in love with you, and she'll still leave you. The deal is never sealed.

Her dream was to be with

Thanks for the analysis, Doctor. I don't know if you can read things that clearly from the details I've divulged so far, but I appreciate your perspective.

She actually offered up an explanation (without me asking) of why she had started to hesitate. Basically, it had to do with her feeling that she didn't know me well enough and that I had maybe tried to rush things. This amounted to me telling her I had a good feeling about us and that I thought things could work out in the long term. She also said I was the person she liked the most out of all she had dated throughout her life, both in terms of looks and personality.

Anyone who has experience with girls knows that the explanation for these mystical rejections is always just mundane sh*t like her not liking how you look (hair loss obviously being a big negative) or not getting wet with you. I have a hard time believing I'm triggering some complex daddy issues with my recession. So I'm not putting much stock in what she's saying, nor do I have any hope this will turn out well. I'm playing along for the hell of it and taking her comments at face value to see how it turns out though.

If it doesn't work out, I'm close to booking a transplant so I'll just be celibate until then or go for short-term flings with girls I'm lukewarm about. Serious relationships with quality girls might simply not be possible the way I look right now.

Yep. It's not your personality, and it has nothing to do with what you say. I have no doubt in my mind you can conduct yourself well, and be out going. However, try not to be mundane and boring. I made big mistakes in my early dating of just bringing women back to my house all the time. Some last longer then others, but eventually will cut ties. Be creative, go places and show her you actually want to start a interesting relationship. Being predictable, and boring by just throwing your dick in her hatchet wound as an activity alone will leave you more empty then anything.

it's all within the looks threshold.


if it doesn't work just have your transplant, and ride it out. Once things get better again you can hit the dating scene. I have done this countless times before. You have proven to yourself what you are capable of achieving, that in-itself should help with future women. Most importantly just act calm, and care-free. If it doesn't work out, don't stress. People you barely know are not worth it...

 

[Rudiger]

She even seemed angry at the fact she couldn't hate me for something, she said it was even harder for her since I was so irreproachable. The worst she said was: "You always want to appear cool, literally and figuratively."

It sounds like the criticism was about putting on a facade, and you twisted that as being too perfect, as only you could.

Meh it never happened anyway.

 

[GoldenMane]

Men aren't allowed to use anything to artificially enhance their appearance without mockery. For women anything goes, hair extensions, wigs, makeup, padded bras, compression underwear. Men are forced to be themselves. If naturally good looking, then great. If less good looking then you're not allowed to do anything that can hide it.

 

[GoldenMane]

Good! Women deserve professional equality and men deserve equality in tolerance.

 

[hellouser]

Yeah well that's changing too, especially in the gay community.

I'd say its always been like that in the gay community, but thats it. Its definitely not changing in the 'straight community'.

 

[samantha3333]

Men aren't allowed to use anything to artificially enhance their appearance without mockery. For women anything goes, hair extensions, wigs, makeup, padded bras, compression underwear. Men are forced to be themselves. If naturally good looking, then great. If less good looking then you're not allowed to do anything that can hide it.

Yeah you all think it's a privilege but when women don't do all these things, we are called looking tired, unattractive, man-like. And besides having to look "confident", we also need to have a good career to show that we're not just some bimbos.

 

[shookwun]

Women want men that are effortlessly attractive. They want to feel feminine and be the ones who get dolled up.

 

[Hangin'on Hair]

There is more that can bring you joy in life than sex with women.

Speak for yourself!

 

[kj6723]

Women want men that are effortlessly attractive. They want to feel feminine and be the ones who get dolled up.

This.

It's ok to fight for your hair, spend hours in the gym every day, have an extensive skin care regimen, hardcore diet etc.

Just keep it to yourself that you do these things.

You most you should ever let on is that you have good basic hygiene and exercise a moderate amount . Anything more will detract from your sex appeal

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

This.

It's ok to fight for your hair, spend hours in the gym every day, have an extensive skin care regimen, hardcore diet etc.

Just keep it to yourself that you do these things.

You most you should ever let on is that you have good basic hygiene and exercise a moderate amount . Anything more will detract from your sex appeal

Aside: I'm not convinced that "hours in the gym every day" is beneficial.

 

[samantha3333]

This.

It's ok to fight for your hair, spend hours in the gym every day, have an extensive skin care regimen, hardcore diet etc.

Just keep it to yourself that you do these things.

Every jacked guy I dated told me how much they loved gym and went to gym every day. Why should men keep these things to themselves? Knowing how to take care of yourself is very attractive.

 

[kj6723]

Aside: I'm not convinced that "hours in the gym every day" is beneficial.

Eh, depends on what you're doing.

It's true though, I see people working out regularly for hours at a time doing nothing that will ultimately benefit them...essentially wasting energy and time

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Every jacked guy I dated told me how much they loved gym and went to gym every day. Why should men keep these things to themselves? Knowing how to take care of yourself is very attractive.

Because we've seen women scoff at it.

Good at you if you have a different opinion, keep in mind that when men on this forum say "women", what they usually mean is "many women" or "most women", not "all women".

Lots of women want and expect effortless beauty. It's a general trait that society imposes upon men. We're also supposed to be effortlessly intelligent.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Eh, depends on what you're doing.

It's true though, I see people working out regularly for hours at a time doing nothing that will ultimately benefit them...essentially wasting energy and time

I think when I return to the gym after my surgery I'm going to follow Kinobody's advice, which is to train ~3 days/week.

Lift to failure, break your muscles, and then give them time to heal.

He and his disciples seem to be doing great with that approach.

 

[hellouser]

We're also supposed to be effortlessly intelligent.

Too bad most men are effortlessly stupid.

 

[kj6723]

Every jacked guy I dated told me how much they loved gym and went to gym every day. Why should men keep these things to themselves? Knowing how to take care of yourself is very attractive.

Well if you feel that way, fair enough

Honest question though, which of these guys would you be more drawn to? Pretend they are equally as good looking:

1. Ripped dude, great body, tells you extensively about his exercise routines and the hours he put in at the gym to achieve his physique

2. Ripped dude, great body, never brings up anything fitness related in conversation. When asked about how he's so fit, kind of brushes off the complements, "I work out a little bit"

 

[samantha3333]

The only guys I know who look down on men who wake up at 7am to go to the gym before work is my chubby ex and his unattractive best mate.

Because we've seen women scoff at it.

Good at you if you have a different opinion, keep in mind that when men on this forum say "women", what they usually mean is "many women" or "most women", not "all women".

Lots of women want and expect effortless beauty. It's a general trait that society imposes upon men. We're also supposed to be effortlessly intelligent.

but there's no effortless six pack or a great hair style. There's also no effortless "finding a well fitted suit and looking good in it". If most women you came across or dated think these things should be effortless, you should blame the loud-mouth dudes before you who said these things are just so effortless! I was actually quite turned on when my ex went shopping for a whole day to find some nice suits and leather shoes lol.

 

[kj6723]

I think when I return to the gym after my surgery I'm going to follow Kinobody's advice, which is to train ~3 days/week.

Lift to failure, break your muscles, and then give them time to heal.

He and his disciples seem to be doing great with that approach.

Not familiar with Kinobody.

I've gotten good results in the past from working out just 3 days a week. It's all about efficiency if you go that route.

 

[Joan]

I think when I return to the gym after my surgery I'm going to follow Kinobody's advice, which is to train ~3 days/week.

Lift to failure, break your muscles, and then give them time to heal.

He and his disciples seem to be doing great with that approach.

With "lift to failure," would one go heavy with lower reps, lighter with higher reps, or a combination of both?