The Cognitive Taxes Of Hair Loss And General Ugliness

[blackg]

There's a long-running misguided debate on this forum (and in general society) as to the merits of looks versus personality. This debate assumes that these are separate variables. They are not, as better looks (particularly effortless looks) facilitates a better personality.

I have 3,477 posts on this forum, and a few hundred private messages as well. I have a cupboard that includes minoxidil, stemoxydine (needs to be ordered online), RU58851 (needs to be ordered online), will soon include alfatradiol (needs to be ordered online), nizoral shampoo, special conditioner -- I cannot use finasteride. I also need to worry about skin, teeth, eyes, body composition, my nose apparently, and how to partition limited money among them.

All of this leaves me jealous of the people who can focus on living life and on their hobbies and pursuits. The people with full heads of hair, those whose stomachs are full after one slice of pizza, who never get acne, they don't need to worry about their looks. They can read more books, watch more movies, do better at their jobs, go travelling with their extra money, or perhaps start investing in the stock market or in housing. They can then feel proud about themselves for having invested their time and money wisely, for being more responsible, and for being more awesome people. If they have anything in this world, it's because they deserve it.

I would really love to live in a world where I knew nothing about DHT, hair loss patterns, hormones, carbohydrates versus fats, hydrogen peroxide, zinc, aromatase inhibitors, flaxseed, soy, minoxidil, etc etc etc basically where a lot of handsome men are. They don't need to worry for the most part, though they floss every morning and once every few years they get tailored clothing and for that they feel like they're putting in the effort and thus they deserve what they have.

This has been a huge stress. I guess I look a little better, but I don't read as much as I used to, my writing skills have declined, I didn't watch as many movies last year, I don't concentrate as much at work, I don't have as many savings, and I'll face criticisms for all of those things and others that will fill in the vacuum left by the reduced discrimination from looking slightly better (but still not good enough).

A while back a friend suggested that I might be doing poorly on dates because I lack relationship experience. That is certainly plausible, as women don't like socially awkward behaviour, and do think about the collective judgment of other women. However ... what is the root cause of my not having dating experience? The same reason I have a hard time getting dates now. It's kind of like the f*****g snowball effect, except this snowball doesn't seem to ever reach the bottom of the mountain, rather it just seems to grow and grow and get bigger forever.

Good post, David. When I saw this wall of text, on my phone at least, I thought I was in for an arduous read but that wasn't the case.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

So true! And unfair.
I always think about those girls (97 % of girls my age!) whose life is not turning around trying to keep their hair and not gaining so much weight from cyproterone acetate! How easy life must be for them! Me, I check my liver every 3 months and my breast every year!!! It is not what a 28 yo should live...
I must spend 200 to 300 euros /months for hair only. (add more for skin, weight, general health, gym...) As a consequence, I live in a 20m2 flat (or "box" - your call) because I can't save any money in order to move. So, I decided to work more by taking another job (rewritting books for private autors) aside from my current job! As a consequence, I have no life, I am stressed,my hair falls... Talk about a snow ball! FML seriously.

I'm so sorry for you that you deal with this burden. I hope it's just temporary and that better treatments come out soon.

 

[blackg]

1) I didn't know I was popular.
I'm not trying to get onto the college football team, I'd be content with the beer league team.

This is why you're popular. You are humble with a decent sense of humor.

 

[DoctorHouse]

This is why you're popular. You are humble with a decent sense of humor.

And vulnerable too. Most women like a man who can be humble, funny, and vulnerable. Cue in The Human League, songs "Human" and then cue "Don't You Want Me".

 

[cocohot]

For a publishing company which is not so big but well established. Rewriter is not really like ghostwriter. You don't write the book for the autor. He writes his book (poorly),you rewrite it. Can be light, can be heavy. Some journalists, for instance, are pretty bad writers. I rewrote a book on David Bowie. The guy was the French expert on the subject, but did not knew how to put a sentence together, basically.
Some I have known on the publishing company I now work with closely and undeclared.
It is cool, but it is only my side job (does not pay enough).

It's very cool though, isn't it? To see your books (your words anyway) on a bookshelf?

 

[blackg]

And vulnerable too. Most women like a man who can be humble, funny, and vulnerable. Cue in The Human League, songs "Human" and then cue "Don't You Want Me".

You're right, Doctor. Vulnerability can be attractive to a woman as well. As long as it's balanced out with the dreaded "C" word: Confidence.

 

[DoctorHouse]

You're right, Doctor. Vulnerability can be attractive to a woman as well. As long as it's balanced out with the dreaded "C" word: Confidence.

Like I said, you definitely have "street" smarts. Very well said, your "greatness".

 

[blackg]

Like I said, you definitely have "street" smarts. Very well said, your "greatness".

Thank you, but no!! Hahaa... I can't live up to these compliments.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Thank you, but no!! Hahaa... I can't live up to these compliments.

You don't have a choice in the matter. Your "greatness" is carved in stone. I am one of your biggest fans as I only can be in the company of such chivalry of "likes" you behold upon me all the time. You are my one and only "black" knight whose shadows of "likes" cast upon my light. ID Walker approved.

 

[rclark]

Thank you, but no!! Hahaa... I can't live up to these compliments.

You can!

The only thing bad that can happen is someone will try to replace you (impossible of course!).

And that could only be... whiteE..

Just kidding. Nobody can replace you!

 

[sunchyme1]

You're right, Doctor. Vulnerability can be attractive to a woman as well. As long as it's balanced out with the dreaded "C" word: Confidence.

can u be both confidence and vunerable?

 

[shookwun]

.



I have been balding for over 10 years, and am approaching my third surgery within the next few weeks. Approximately 24,000 will be the total spent on hair restoration.

Imagine what that feels like.


Everything paid up off. Could of been spent on purchasing a house. One of the biggest milestones for most, yet I am sitting here in the process of restoring myself to a former non sufferer.



Its a minor set back, but worth it in the long run. Make good career choices and many of you can follow a similar foot path.



I don't like the idea of having spent so much money, but i had no other choice. All I have left to do now is battle this anxiety.


Move on, nobodies cares about your situations. Stop pitying yourselves, and do something about it.

 

[sunchyme1]

.



I have been balding for over 10 years, and am approaching my third surgery within the next few weeks. Approximately 24,000 will be the total spent on hair restoration.

Imagine what that feels like.


Everything paid up off. Could of been spent on purchasing a house. One of the biggest milestones for most, yet I am sitting here in the process of restoring myself to a former non sufferer.



Its a minor set back, but worth it in the long run. Make good career choices and many of you can follow a similar foot path.



I don't like the idea of having spent so much money, but i had no other choice. All I have left to do now is battle this anxiety.


Move on, nobodies cares about your situations. Stop pitying yourselves, and do something about it.

Good luck mate

you gonna do a thread about it?

f*** the house. i would take hair any day

i would take hair over anything

 

[blackg]

can u be both confidence and vunerable?

Yes. An otherwise confident man who is vulnerable in certain situations has a unique charm, I'm sure.

 

[CopeForLife]

.



I have been balding for over 10 years, and am approaching my third surgery within the next few weeks. Approximately 24,000 will be the total spent on hair restoration.

Imagine what that feels like.


Everything paid up off. Could of been spent on purchasing a house. One of the biggest milestones for most, yet I am sitting here in the process of restoring myself to a former non sufferer.



Its a minor set back, but worth it in the long run. Make good career choices and many of you can follow a similar foot path.



I don't like the idea of having spent so much money, but i had no other choice. All I have left to do now is battle this anxiety.


Move on, nobodies cares about your situations. Stop pitying yourselves, and do something about it.

Excuses, David.

 

[blackg]

Excuses, David.

WTF?

 

[CopeForLife]

Is @DBW back?

he put dislike on me

 

[DoctorHouse]

.



I have been balding for over 10 years, and am approaching my third surgery within the next few weeks. Approximately 24,000 will be the total spent on hair restoration.

Imagine what that feels like.


Everything paid up off. Could of been spent on purchasing a house. One of the biggest milestones for most, yet I am sitting here in the process of restoring myself to a former non sufferer.



Its a minor set back, but worth it in the long run. Make good career choices and many of you can follow a similar foot path.



I don't like the idea of having spent so much money, but i had no other choice. All I have left to do now is battle this anxiety.


Move on, nobodies cares about your situations. Stop pitying yourselves, and do something about it.

I admire the fact that you were able to finance it all yourself. Most people could not save money like you did. You really made some sacrifices for yourself. If I was in your shoes, I would have done the same.

 

[Guzam]

There's a long-running misguided debate on this forum (and in general society) as to the merits of looks versus personality. This debate assumes that these are separate variables. They are not, as better looks (particularly effortless looks) facilitates a better personality.

I have 3,477 posts on this forum, and a few hundred private messages as well. I have a cupboard that includes minoxidil, stemoxydine (needs to be ordered online), RU58851 (needs to be ordered online), will soon include alfatradiol (needs to be ordered online), nizoral shampoo, special conditioner -- I cannot use finasteride. I also need to worry about skin, teeth, eyes, body composition, my nose apparently, and how to partition limited money among them.

All of this leaves me jealous of the people who can focus on living life and on their hobbies and pursuits. The people with full heads of hair, those whose stomachs are full after one slice of pizza, who never get acne, they don't need to worry about their looks. They can read more books, watch more movies, do better at their jobs, go travelling with their extra money, or perhaps start investing in the stock market or in housing. They can then feel proud about themselves for having invested their time and money wisely, for being more responsible, and for being more awesome people. If they have anything in this world, it's because they deserve it.

I would really love to live in a world where I knew nothing about DHT, hair loss patterns, hormones, carbohydrates versus fats, hydrogen peroxide, zinc, aromatase inhibitors, flaxseed, soy, minoxidil, etc etc etc basically where a lot of handsome men are. They don't need to worry for the most part, though they floss every morning and once every few years they get tailored clothing and for that they feel like they're putting in the effort and thus they deserve what they have.

This has been a huge stress. I guess I look a little better, but I don't read as much as I used to, my writing skills have declined, I didn't watch as many movies last year, I don't concentrate as much at work, I don't have as many savings, and I'll face criticisms for all of those things and others that will fill in the vacuum left by the reduced discrimination from looking slightly better (but still not good enough).

A while back a friend suggested that I might be doing poorly on dates because I lack relationship experience. That is certainly plausible, as women don't like socially awkward behaviour, and do think about the collective judgment of other women. However ... what is the root cause of my not having dating experience? The same reason I have a hard time getting dates now. It's kind of like the f*****g snowball effect, except this snowball doesn't seem to ever reach the bottom of the mountain, rather it just seems to grow and grow and get bigger forever.

I understand you. I genuinely have no hobby because hair loss absorbed part of me. I'd love to have hobbies. Too bad my spare, free time is 90% dedicated to thinking about my hair and plans for the future.

Everyday I think about this disease and I push myself to pursue my career objectives. My field and my studies are the only things that make me happy and stop thinking about hair loss: ironically, they are the only thing that will make me able to afford a hair transplant. If I fail, I will fail double.

I don't read anything not related to academics anymore. I don't write nor draw anymore. I find peace in study and in those close ones that still hang out with me. I look like an aging 35 years old but I'm 14 years younger than that: I will remember these people forever because they stayed and still invited me to hang out or pass some time together.

I like you David, like most people in this forum, because we share our feelings here. And many times we have the same feelings and fears: most (if not all) because of this disease.

If you're young and visibly balding (NW3+ or NW2+ Visibly diffusing) with few romantic experiences I have to tell you that it will probably be a very hard ride. I'm sincere about what I think about this. No experience + balding is hard mode in the dating field. I would even compare it to no experience + old age in the job market.

First you have to look for girls in your social circle and social class. Girls outside the circle look for boyfriends in their own circle OR, if theyre slutty enough, through dating apps and in the club. The job market metaphor is useful again:

Let the firm be the girl and you are trying to get hired. Your looks are your competencies and social skills with girls are your work experience.

Many firms only and exclusively hire highly talented interns recommended by their network: these are the top firms (7-10).

Mid tier firms (6-7) look for both recommendations and interns with an extremely good CV not from the network. If you're from the network you may get hired just by showing some key competencies and work experience. If you're not from the network, your competencies must be coupled with a big chunk of work experience in the field: this is the only way to get hired by mid tier firms, which receive a sh*t ton of applications.

Then there are the low tier firms (1-5). They look for interns everywhere and they hold events (read: they get slutty in the club) and market themselves: they need interns. Still, they receive a sh*t ton of applications nonetheless. They just look for competencies. If you lack competencies you don't get hired.

You must build work experience/social skills with girls slowly and steadily if you lack competencies/looks. Generally the majority of people develop social skills with girls in the teenage years (when pretty much everyone is handsome): the first girlfriends, the first sex experiences, the parties et cetera. Those who don't they develop them later, or they get buttfucked by fate: they get bald (ugly) before building these skills.

What I understand is that you got bald before building these skills, and to build these skills you must be youthful looking and girls are not eager to give their pussy to an awkward balding man. They are eager to give their pussy to a youthful looking/handsome awkward man.

Thus you must take a long, ascending bumpy road to build these skills effectively. Start with girls in your network, then slowly build skills. Maybe one day you'll get the Cure and maybe get the girl of your dreams, without the certainty of failure. First you must build some social skills and this will be hard. I believe in you. Be patient and start today.

 

[Dench57]

They are eager to give their pussy to a youthful looking/handsome awkward man

Ay, there's the rub