The Frequent "official" Origin Of My Recent Failures With Women

[Afro_Vacancy]

Nice. Do you feel like its improved your aesthetic?

I know getting below 12% helps me big time because I have a bit of a weak jaw so any fat gives me a double chin. Low body fat makes me look a lot more attractive in the face.

Yes, my aesthetics are improved but I don't look good by any means. I've gone from below-average to average.

Getting below 12%, and I'm not sure what my exact percentage is, will be very difficult. I think I'm tapped out aesthetically, but it may still benefit my self-confidence, my health, and my ability to buy clothes that fit.

But we already know what your best asset it. Your chest hair. You need to keep BF% below so that the chest hair dominates and not the m00bs.

 

[Dante92]

I can't really understand why using dating apps unless you're a way above average fullhead. You gotta be a masochist, right @Afro_Vacancy ?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

do you guys put your height on your dating app profiles? I'm curious if you changed the height to something like 6'3" - 6'5" to see if the match rate would go up.

I'm curious too, but I have not tried it as this would destroy potential dates. It would rule out any women in that time period.

I'm 5'11 btw.

Lots of women say that men lying, either bragging about fake achievements, claiming to be tall, posting old and misleading pics, etc is one of their pet peeves of online dating. That does make me bitter, as I don't lie and I'm competing with men who do. It's like playing golf with a handicap.

I'm just competing with all the men who are better than me, there's also all the men claiming to be better than me.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I can't really understand why using dating apps unless you're a way above average fullhead. You gotta be a masochist, right @Afro_Vacancy ?

You can try and live a life free of pain by never venturing out of your comfort zone, but that is a strategy that will only succeed in the short-term. In the long-term, it leads to stagnation and eventually sh*t for most people. One has to venture out of one's comfort zone, and risk experiencing pain and failure, in order to learn. An additional step in that process is to somehow learn and adapt from one's failures.

I'm still getting dates, learning a lot about women, exploring new restaurants/bar/venues, by means of these activities. I'm at the lower end of the distribution, but at least I'm within the distribution. This is what a bell curve looks like, where the bell curve describes many (most??) things about human beings:

If you're at -5, and you work hard and you move up to -4, you will not experience any improvements in your life. However, if you achieve the same growth from -2, -1, or -0.5, you will see a lot of improvements as the measure of the space is larger. Similarly, if you are at +5 like @WhitePolarBear there is little benefit to trying harder , Bear is already getting all of the benefits.

Further, even if it fails fully, it is important for my own future that I be able to look back on my life and say that at least I tried. One day you may find yourself wishing you did have a woman. Perhaps you'll cope by saying that you had no chance, but if you've never actually tried it will gnaw at you, and could eventually consume you in a cloud of bitterness. Regrets are bad, you're more likely to regret the times you didn't try than the times you tried and failed.

 

[Xander94]

I'm curious too, but I have not tried it as this would destroy potential dates. It would rule out any women in that time period.

I'm 5'11 btw.

Lots of women say that men lying, either bragging about fake achievements, claiming to be tall, posting old and misleading pics, etc is one of their pet peeves of online dating. That does make me bitter, as I don't lie and I'm competing with men who do. It's like playing golf with a handicap.

I'm just competing with all the men who are better than me, there's also all the men claiming to be better than me.

I don't think you're average dude you have this cute nice guy vibe. You look fine and have a good spirit Im sure you'll find someone

 

[JeanLucBB]

I can't regret what I know I never could have had or wanted. I'm a peace at that, I've accepted it the very day I noticed my hair loss. I never even talked to a girl throughout my whole life, I never even thought about it or having sex for that matter. While my peers thought about sports and sex I focused on studying and working and spent my free time locked at home playing videogames, I was content with masturbating once in a while. I never cared about girls and I knew they had nothing to give me and I had nothing to give them in turn. It's always been like that and always be. And now I know my chances would be nonexistent even if I wanted. I'm one of the few balding guys in their 20s in italy, and I'm ugly as f*** to boot. I never had a choice nor stood a chance, the only things I regret are being born with the wrong genes and suffering uselessly.

Why don't you get a cheap FUE with a guy like Cinik?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I don't think you're average dude you have this cute nice guy vibe. You look fine and have a good spirit Im sure you'll find someone

I've got the look that makes 55 year-old women think that I'd be great match for their daughters and nieces.

 

[Exodus2011]

Aww I bet she's very sweet and cuddly. Looks like a nice lady.

H A L O E F F E C T
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[SteveTabernack]

I've got the look that makes 55 year-old women think that I'd be great match for their daughters and nieces.

That's what boat shoes get you mate

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

That's what boat shoes get you mate

I believe that women of all ages care about shoes, but women of reproductive age care if you have masculine facial features and body type above all else.

 

[SteveTabernack]

I believe that women of all ages care about shoes, but women of reproductive age care if you have masculine facial features and body type above all else.

So if you're in to oldies all you need are a good pair of shoes? Is this true @Pasbrillantebrunette @hairblues ?

But yeah of course, it's hard to dress up an ugly face.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

So if you're in to oldies all you need are a pair good pair of shoes?

Just in case it's not clear to others, I never wrote that nor implied it.
However, for a lot of women, a good fashion sense can be a modest upgrade, and that arguably starts with shoes, fit, etc.

 

[CaptainForehead]

So, it seems I might be getting a job I applied for (immigration office permitting).
I thought I'd post something positive in my life for once.

It's a promotion, with a significant pay upgrade, more independence, good place to live in. Just 3 years ago, I could not even have imagined I would in the running for this job, but it seems fate has plans for me. It's not a very prestigious place. But still.

It's in the US. The bad part is I won't be getting a European permanent residence card as I will be changing countries. AGAIN.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Tailored clothes make a huge difference. It's not expensive either, just take your shirts to a tailor and they will fit them to you for about $13 each. That alone will up your looks pretty quickly assuming you are not obese.

I notice that a lot of fits are ridiculously baggy.

I was at Jos A Banks recently and tried a size small slim fit. Reiterating: Size small slim fit. It was very loose. WTF.

 

[Pacey123]

Came here because of my diffuse thinning, stay because of the impact section. So many interesting characters, it's like a real life TV show, holy heck is that funny to read.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Exactly, but this is precisely why paying the extra $10-$15 is worth it, because most people don't realize they can do this and end up walking around with ill fitting clothes. Also, on the discount rack you can then buy a size that is bigger as long as the collar is correct and after the tailor is done it will still fit great, so you can actually save some money by buying nice patterned shirts on discount and have them tailor fitted. The fit is 90% of the shirt, trust me guys, it's f*****g worth it and you'll end up wondering how you lived before doing this.

Of course this only applies to working professionals. If your job doesn't require a dress shirt then you would have less use, but this would still apply if you are wearing a dress shirt to dates, etc.

The bolded is clever.

I'm an academic so the dress code here is below average lol. I try and dress nice regardless. Will be aiming for boat shoes, shorts, polos during the summer; and dress pants, dress shirts, nice shoes matching belts, occasional sweaters during the winter. I also like corduroys, those are out of style but I like them. I don't like jeans though.

Btw how are you 5'11" and wearing size S slim fit shirts? You might want to slow down the diet that seems pretty extreme...

I've got median build, maybe even a little higher, I think they just tailor for fat people there.
I bought some Penguin polos yesterday, those are a Nordstrom brand, bright colours, similar to Vineyard Vines but not quite. Size medium was the right fit.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Something that our muscular friend @shookwun had mentioned a while back is that he has a hard time finding clothes that fit for the following: He's a size large (extra-large?) at the shoulders and triceps, and a smaller size at the waist.

This guy has a hard time finding a good fit at TJ Maxx:

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Had a lot of shopping to do this weekend ...

1) Clothes, half done. I bought nice shorts, polos, and the shoe/belt combination shown. I still need to buy another pair of shoes, a suit that fits, gym clothes that fit. Maybe in a week or two. I got tired.

2) Home theatre system. I got most of it, I'll need to assemble the TV stand and still need to buy a blu ray player which I got too tired to pick out, it should be delivered in about a week. Damn, TVs have gotten complicated. I'll probably need to spend a ton of time connecting all the devices to the internet, figuring out which HDMI cable goes where, etc.

I'm also missing another book shelf for my books / DVD collection, and a lot of picture frames and some wall art to decorate my apartment.

I love movies and serialized telvision. But I don't love them on my laptop, it's just not as good and so a part of me has been missing for the past several months. Plus, it's good to help entertain guests.

3) A barbecue. I'm a good cook but I don't grill meat / fish / vegetables. A real man knows how to use a BBQ, so it's on my to do list, but f*** I was tired and couldn't be bothered to figure out if I should get a gas BBQ as a starter or a charcoal BBQ as a starter, and which set of tools is the minimum. Friends told me that gas is better. I'll get a cheap one soon and use that for a year. I also got permission from my landlord to buy one, which was a prerequisite lol.

This coming weekend I'm reviewing basics, and am attending a "Eggs 101" cooking class.

 

[Exodus2011]

Had a lot of shopping to do this weekend ...

1) Clothes, half done. I bought nice shorts, polos, and the shoe/belt combination shown. I still need to buy another pair of shoes, a suit that fits, gym clothes that fit. Maybe in a week or two. I got tired.

2) Home theatre system. I got most of it, I'll need to assemble the TV stand and still need to buy a blu ray player which I got too tired to pick out, it should be delivered in about a week. Damn, TVs have gotten complicated. I'll probably need to spend a ton of time connecting all the devices to the internet, figuring out which HDMI cable goes where, etc.

I'm also missing another book shelf for my books / DVD collection, and a lot of picture frames and some wall art to decorate my apartment.

I love movies and serialized telvision. But I don't love them on my laptop, it's just not as good and so a part of me has been missing for the past several months. Plus, it's good to help entertain guests.

3) A barbecue. I'm a good cook but I don't grill meat / fish / vegetables. A real man knows how to use a BBQ, so it's on my to do list, but f*** I was tired and couldn't be bothered to figure out if I should get a gas BBQ as a starter or a charcoal BBQ as a starter, and which set of tools is the minimum. Friends told me that gas is better. I'll get a cheap one soon and use that for a year. I also got permission from my landlord to buy one, which was a prerequisite lol.

This coming weekend I'm reviewing basics, and am attending a "Eggs 101" cooking class.

what kind of tv did you get? diagonal screen size? resolution? what display and backlight tech? does it have wi-fi/smart functionality?

how do you not love video on laptop? its the same thing assuming its not compressed. and usually with compression they only reduce the quality of the audio

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

what kind of tv did you get? diagonal screen size? resolution? what display and backlight tech? does it have wi-fi/smart functionality?

how do you not love video on laptop? its the same thing assuming its not compressed. and usually with compression they only reduce the quality of the audio

The laptop has a smaller screen, and inferior sound quality though the sound can be fixed. Further, the actual feel of the laptop, including the keyboard and the screen border, put me in a different mental head space and reminds me of other things I could be doing such as arguing with @CopeForLife, checking email, or constraining the nature of interstellar dust. The mind associates activities and moods to objects.

Watching a movie should be something that gets undivided attention, like prayer is supposed to be if you're actually religious, or sex if you don't have ED nor BD and you're with someone hot, all lights should be turned off and there should be no distractions. You also can't have a guest over to watch stuff on your laptop with, it's unclassy.

I bought this smart TV, 49.5 inch diagonal, 4K UltraHD
https://www.walmart.com/ip/VIZIO-D5...D-2160p-120Hz-LED-Smart-HDTV-4K-x-2K/46819834