The Frequent "official" Origin Of My Recent Failures With Women

[Exodus2011]

me consolling @Xander94

 

[Dante92]

View attachment 54470
@Xander94

 

[hairblues]

He's gonna snap sooner or later. Let's hope he'll be too incel to unleash his fury on innocent people.

Since when do we care about innocent people?

Jk

 

[Dante92]

Maybe because it is more like in the way people treat him and not through explicit sentences.

It's both kind of things: disrespectful behaviour in general in smaller or more serious things (from staring to whispering and laughing), or, sometimes, nasty comments or crude remarks.

Since when do we care about innocent people?

Jk

I never said I care. I was merely stating a probable fact.

 

[Exodus2011]

Imagine going through this on a daily basis. If I didn't love my (well-paid) job I'd be a hermit by now.

i don't go through it now but as you know i was balding badly in high school. i was bullied so much for it there i suspect i have PTSD now tbh. if you need to PM me feel free. i know the feels

 

[Dante92]

i don't go through it now but as you know i was balding badly in high school. i was bullied so much for it there i suspect i have PTSD now tbh. if you need to PM me feel free. i know the feels

Thank you, Exodus. I really appreciate it. Seriously. You know what it means, you can truly understand and relate.

 

[Exodus2011]

Thank you, Exodus. I really appreciate it. Seriously. You know what it means, you can truly understand and relate.

honestly i would have extended this helping hand earlier but i'm going through my own issues about it and i didn't wanna go through x2 you know? i'm busy coping lol. i figured you were doing well enough anyways if you're adjusted enough to work a nice job

 

[sunchyme1]

Uccideremo insieme chads dante

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I saw this poster and am jealous of the guy on the left, look at his frame, his chin, his triceps and his forearms.

 

[kj6723]

Hey, you tried, that's a big step in your position. I still think you're too hard on yourself, you have a lot going for you. With this girl, she's not interested and at most you could be a back up guy. Girls quickly categorise guys into would date, wouldn't or the middle zone. Largely based on looks but also on connection. Maybe she also likes someone already or is in a relationship you don't know about. All you can do is move on and look around for other girls. Don't waste your time with her unless you like having her as a friend or something which is fine. But definitely don't cling onto hope. You analysed the situation well; she gave enough hints there to show her distance. I am working abroad so saw your message later, apologies.

One thing I'll say about dating a very pretty girl is the friend's circle which usually has pretty girls too. I think it's more important the younger the girl is. It doesn't so much matter about your age but it really does come down to being attractive/secure with yourself because they are watching. It's not that their opinion is important but it can have a knock on effect on your self esteem and maybe even relationship if it's in the early stages. The point I am making is you look fine, but I'm worried that you may become more insecure and depressed chasing this type of girl from how you've talked about your problems before. You should improve your state first and use socialising/relationships to enhance you, not create a vicious cycle.

As nice as they are I've seen another side to them in passing comments.

I appreciate the kind words and support from everyone on here

I know we constantly sh*t on the "confidence" in asking girls out thing around here, but I'm starting to think I might be a rare case in which it actually applies to an extant. I think maybe I do just need to put myself out there more.

I am definitely very hard on myself, but in many ways I have benefited from it....I have maintained very youthful aesthetics largely due to being obsessed over how I look. So it has been a strength as well as a downfall. I don't see myself giving up looksmaxing at any time in the near future unless I undergo some massive shift in my life or mindset

Whatever happens I'm glad I went through this little episode, because it really brought out some encouragement on here that I think I will benefit from

 

[rclark]

You're simply a kind soul... the hot French accent is just a major boner... I MEAN BONUS!!

HOTEL, ... Please.

You need a GROUP RATE!!

 

[rclark]

View attachment 54330

That picture is missing some Russians. They're probably hiding in the chimney, or behind some furniture....
some where.

 

[Rudiger]

I know we constantly sh*t on the "confidence" in asking girls out thing around here, but I'm starting to think I might be a rare case in which it actually applies to an extant. I think maybe I do just need to put myself out there more.

I don't sh*t on that idea, while there is some truth to the "confidence" meme's, some guys take it to far and think it literally applies to everything. Luckily there aren't many Chad's out there, women have to find companionship in other areas, and you are competing with the rest of the average looking (or fairly good looking?) dudes out there trying to get noticed, what makes you stand out? If it's not chiselled cheek bones and a ripped tanned body, then surely it has to be something else.

The guys who sh*t on confidence normally have little experience in dealing with women, even as friends, everything they know is from MGTOW and sluthate. I'm not saying there's there's no truth to such things as hypergamy and other theories, and it probably is getting worse culturally, however are we all fucked? I'm not just speaking from personal experience but having a wide circle of friends who are in relationships and trying to date, even the worst looking guys get chances here and there with someone. Maybe not the highest quality of someone, but that's life. And in the odd circumstance you'll get a guy who's actually punching above his weight, but this has always seemed like it took way, way more effort than and couple that are matched physically, the guy really has to dig in there and has even faced rejection from her before it became successful (I've had this myself many times).

Anyway if this idea that acting assertive and interesting, is all new to you then well done, you've taken a big step into the real world.

 

[JeanLucBB]

What makes you stand out? Genetic (nooo!) compatibility.

My girlfriend was single for 5 years before meeting me, and she was meeting plenty of guys on a regular basis.

Why me then? I'm not a confident guy, I'm definitely a doer, but I often look lost, hesitant, people don't say about me:

"Wow, bear is a confident guy!"

My girlfriend likes to tell me how shy I was on our first, how red I was before I leaned to kiss her.

Confidence my ***. Or it could just be described by merely "doing something".

As I've said before, if you do nothing, of course nothing will happen, so I don't understand the argument that confident = just doing something.

In my experience, you can be as clumsy, as red, as "weird" as you want with a girl that wants you, she'll still want you.

Again, in that situation, reverse the sexes (I hate the word gender, that's for pronouns), would you turn down a girl you want to have sex with if she's hesitant, stuttering, excessively shy, saying she's sorry all the time?

No? Well it's the same for women towards men. Men like control, they want to think that there is some part of the sexual interaction that they can influence, that they can "ace".

In my experience, it's just not there, it's wishful thinking, everything is determined beforehand.

If @kj6723 fails, she had other prospects and lost interest in him because of that, not because he didn't say the right things at the right time.

All this to say, what separates you from your competition? Compatibility with the girl.

Girls interact with men all the time and for the vast majority of them, they'll just think "he's not my type" and nothing will change that.

If a girl is interested in you, you'll get signs and everything will go very smoothly. In any other case, it will be a pain in the *** and won't lead to anything.

"In my experience, you can be as clumsy, as red, as "weird" as you want with a girl that wants you, she'll still want you."

So true.

To quote Woody Allen "Eighty percent of success is showing up"

 

[Dante92]

In my experience, you can be as clumsy, as red, as "weird" as you want with a girl that wants you, she'll still want you.

If a girl is interested in you, you'll get signs and everything will go very smoothly. In any other case, it will be a pain in the *** and won't lead to anything.

You can be an a**h** or even a sociopath. If you have looks and a girl is into you as a consequence, it's done.

99% looks

1% everything else

 

[Rudiger]

What makes you stand out? Genetic (nooo!) compatibility.

My girlfriend was single for 5 years before meeting me, and she was meeting plenty of guys on a regular basis.

Why me then? I'm not a confident guy, I'm definitely a doer, but I often look lost, hesitant, people don't say about me:

"Wow, bear is a confident guy!"

My girlfriend likes to tell me how shy I was on our first, how red I was before I leaned to kiss her.

Confidence my ***. Or it could just be described by merely "doing something".

As I've said before, if you do nothing, of course nothing will happen, so I don't understand the argument that confident = just doing something.

In my experience, you can be as clumsy, as red, as "weird" as you want with a girl that wants you, she'll still want you.

Again, in that situation, reverse the sexes (I hate the word gender, that's for pronouns), would you turn down a girl you want to have sex with if she's hesitant, stuttering, excessively shy, saying she's sorry all the time?

No? Well it's the same for women towards men. Men like control, they want to think that there is some part of the sexual interaction that they can influence, that they can "ace".

In my experience, it's just not there, it's wishful thinking, everything is determined beforehand.

If @kj6723 fails, she had other prospects and lost interest in him because of that, not because he didn't say the right things at the right time.

All this to say, what separates you from your competition? Compatibility with the girl.

Girls interact with men all the time and for the vast majority of them, they'll just think "he's not my type" and nothing will change that.

If a girl is interested in you, you'll get signs and everything will go very smoothly. In any other case, it will be a pain in the *** and won't lead to anything.

It sounds like she enjoyed your lack of confidence if anything, and that's also a thing. When most other guys are cracking ambitious jokes and coming out with all the same lines, you seemed like a genuine character.

Or she just wanted to bang you and the rest is history. I'm not denying that also happens, looks are hugely important right now. Over all for me I've always had to do at least some work in gaining the trust of a girl, even if I did nothing, would it still have happened? I can't know for sure but in a lot of situations I'm doubtful.

Your experience is based in the world of online dating where it's pretty much proven that personality matters even less than the real world. Any girl I've known who uses tinder basically just flips through it to see who's on it, they've literally only used it for an actual date once or twice, and were disappointed. For these girls they'd rather see and know someone in the flesh, and maybe for the girls you meet, knowing the guy is secondary to what he looks like. By a large margin.

I've rarely had this experience that I could just do or say anything, no matter how retarded, and it didn't matter. I feel my friends would definitely say the same, as I've seen them regularly working to impress a girl and sometimes get nowhere, sometimes they do, and the signals from her can be exactly the same, sometimes she just isn't into him enough to take it further, even if she's fine with how he looks.

I'm also not throwing out the possibility that kj's chick simply may not feel attraction and there's nothing he can do about it. It's pretty rare for a guy to overturn such a deficit and somehow end up with her, to be realistic. You can claw back the situation when maybe she feels only a small attraction, you can still get somewhere, but if she can't picture you romantically then it's only ever going to be friendship unfortunately.

 

[EvilLocks]

slip of the tongue

Hahah! I see what you did there

 

[EvilLocks]

You are right. She looks good but she might smell bad

What girl are you talking about? Not me I hope

 

[JohnsonDDG]

What makes you stand out? Genetic (nooo!) compatibility.

My girlfriend was single for 5 years before meeting me, and she was meeting plenty of guys on a regular basis.

Why me then? I'm not a confident guy, I'm definitely a doer, but I often look lost, hesitant, people don't say about me:

"Wow, bear is a confident guy!"

My girlfriend likes to tell me how shy I was on our first, how red I was before I leaned to kiss her.

Confidence my ***. Or it could just be described by merely "doing something".

As I've said before, if you do nothing, of course nothing will happen, so I don't understand the argument that confident = just doing something.

In my experience, you can be as clumsy, as red, as "weird" as you want with a girl that wants you, she'll still want you.

Again, in that situation, reverse the sexes (I hate the word gender, that's for pronouns), would you turn down a girl you want to have sex with if she's hesitant, stuttering, excessively shy, saying she's sorry all the time?

No? Well it's the same for women towards men. Men like control, they want to think that there is some part of the sexual interaction that they can influence, that they can "ace".

In my experience, it's just not there, it's wishful thinking, everything is determined beforehand.

If @kj6723 fails, she had other prospects and lost interest in him because of that, not because he didn't say the right things at the right time.

All this to say, what separates you from your competition? Compatibility with the girl.

Girls interact with men all the time and for the vast majority of them, they'll just think "he's not my type" and nothing will change that.

If a girl is interested in you, you'll get signs and everything will go very smoothly. In any other case, it will be a pain in the *** and won't lead to anything.

Its weird hearing you say you are a little shy and all that because on here you are the exact opposite. You're almost like an official leader to a lot of guys on the impact section.

 

[Exodus2011]

It sounds like she enjoyed your lack of confidence if anything, and that's also a thing. When most other guys are cracking ambitious jokes and coming out with all the same lines, you seemed like a genuine character.

Or she just wanted to bang you and the rest is history. I'm not denying that also happens, looks are hugely important right now. Over all for me I've always had to do at least some work in gaining the trust of a girl, even if I did nothing, would it still have happened? I can't know for sure but in a lot of situations I'm doubtful.

Your experience is based in the world of online dating where it's pretty much proven that personality matters even less than the real world. Any girl I've known who uses tinder basically just flips through it to see who's on it, they've literally only used it for an actual date once or twice, and were disappointed. For these girls they'd rather see and know someone in the flesh, and maybe for the girls you meet, knowing the guy is secondary to what he looks like. By a large margin.

I've rarely had this experience that I could just do or say anything, no matter how retarded, and it didn't matter. I feel my friends would definitely say the same, as I've seen them regularly working to impress a girl and sometimes get nowhere, sometimes they do, and the signals from her can be exactly the same, sometimes she just isn't into him enough to take it further, even if she's fine with how he looks.

I'm also not throwing out the possibility that kj's chick simply may not feel attraction and there's nothing he can do about it. It's pretty rare for a guy to overturn such a deficit and somehow end up with her, to be realistic. You can claw back the situation when maybe she feels only a small attraction, you can still get somewhere, but if she can't picture you romantically then it's only ever going to be friendship unfortunately.

i can see what he is saying from the point of view of dating a hot girl with confidence issues. i mean i actually DO have high standards for personality, but thats mainly in the sense that our behavior and interests line up. it has little to do with her being confident or "womanly". anyways both kinds of women are a turn on in their own ways xD