The Frequent "official" Origin Of My Recent Failures With Women

[Dench57]

sh*t looks dry as f*** dave, need some baked beans and cheese on there

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

sh*t looks dry as f*** dave, need some baked beans and cheese on there

There's cheese mixed with the eggs.

Can't have beans as I'm seeing a woman tomorrow.

Outside the UK it's not considered optimal to be farting the whole time during the date.

 

[kj6723]

There's cheese mixed with the eggs.

Can't have beans as I'm seeing a woman tomorrow.

Outside the UK it's not considered optimal to be farting the whole time during the date.

Who is she? A tinder match?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Who is she? A tinder match?

An online match yes, taking the Amtrak to DC, just like @nameless I use Amtrak to connect with women.

 

[kj6723]

An online match yes, taking the Amtrak to DC, just like @nameless I use Amtrak to connect with women.

You're on the east coast right now? You're probably not far from me at all

 

[Rudiger]

Outside the UK it's not considered optimal to be farting the whole time during the date.

....but how will she be able to judge if she likes you?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

You're on the east coast right now? You're probably not far from me at all

Are you asking me out?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

....but how will she be able to judge if she likes you?

I'm a Norwood 2 that should be all any woman needs to know.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

@Afro_Vacancy
Man what do you do with all the leftover vegetables - i stopped buying produce because there's too much waste; i end up using like 15% of what i buy and the rest just turns to sh*t. Have you tried Blue Apron? I tried it for a few weeks and it was pretty good. The recipes aren't bad actually.

I haven't tried it but it's not a bad idea.

I do lose money wasting vegetables, but it's probably less than I'll eventually end up losing if I eat an unhealthy diet with fewer vegetables.

One of my coping mechanisms as someone who loves food but who wants to stay thin is to gorge on vegetables.

 

[hairblues]

@Afro_Vacancy
Man what do you do with all the leftover vegetables - i stopped buying produce because there's too much waste; i end up using like 15% of what i buy and the rest just turns to sh*t. Have you tried Blue Apron? I tried it for a few weeks and it was pretty good. The recipes aren't bad actually.

Get a nutribullet and juice.

 

[Rudiger]

Get a nutribullet and juice.

I always think of a "nutribullet" like a little bullet vibrator, so this sentence was amazing.

Yep get that nutribullet and you juice all over the place bro

 

[CaptainForehead]

@CaptainForehead why must you procrastinate you lazyass.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Today's look for boiling hot Washington.

[Picture deleted]

 

[kj6723]

Today's look for boiling hot Washington.

No-show socks are dedicated to @macaroni.

Kill em

Looking good dude

 

[Dante92]

Today's look for boiling hot Washington.

No-show socks are dedicated to @macaroni.

Well done, David. Look good.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Today's look for boiling hot Washington.

No-show socks are dedicated to @macaroni.

As Adam Sandler sang in his Hanukkah song, What a fine looking Jew!

 

[Grasshüpfer]

Today's look for boiling hot Washington.

No-show socks are dedicated to @macaroni.

You've come a loooong way!

Pretty classy outfit!

 

[CaptainForehead]

Today's look for boiling hot Washington.

No-show socks are dedicated to @macaroni.

Looking good!

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Today's look for boiling hot Washington.

No-show socks are dedicated to @macaroni.

You've definitely gone up a notch in the looks department!

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Thanks guys but I don't think I look that good. I'm making progress but without surgery the best I can be is 5.5/10. Life is hard.

You guys know that scene in Gattaca when Ethan Hawke is a janitor, and he sees the spaceship flying high and he says "I've never been so close to my dream, and never felt so far away." That's how I feel whenever I see an attractive woman in the streets.

It's summer now so beautiful women are more noticeable. Clothing is more revealing and form fitting.