Tinder, Bumble, And Other Dating Sites.

[Exodus2011]

I don't think being funny has anything to do with looks, it's a kind of intelligence. For example the actor Ryan Reynolds is very funny if you have ever sen him interviewed and he is a very stereotypically good looking man, equally Louis ck and Larry David are very good looking and they are stereotypically very unattractive NW6 men.[/QUOTEljoui

My theory is that the 500+ matches are the reason you're not getting any dates.

How can you even know who to talk to? Too many choices, too much stimulation, might lead to lethargy.

I would go over the matches now and see what's going on, try and gauge what your looks level is.

Then, delete your tinder account and start over. You'll still have all the same data, but your swipes will be reset, and other people's swipes of you will be reset.

Once you get to 15 or 20 matches, stop. You don't need the increased validation of more swipes. You cannot possibly go on a date with 100 women fast enough for it to be matter. Once you're at a dozen or so women, talk to a few of them, and after a couple comments just say "Sara, would you like to meet for a drink later this week?"

wut

 

[pjhair]

There's also something deeply pretentious about the idea that I should have to woo her via text for months for the honour of having a drink with her.

Completely agree with this. I find it infuriating that a man is supposed to "work hard" to win her women. She can ignore your texts without fear of offending you and you have to pretend like it's alright. Whatever happened to self respect? If a women doesn't respond to my text, I NEVER text her again unless she texts me first. If a conversation with a women isn't free flowing and I am having to put effort for it to keep going, I just stop the conversation and leave. It's quid pro quo with me. I take two steps if they are willing to take two steps. A women once told me that with my attitude, I will be single even in my sixties. What she didn't realize was that I am not really afraid at all of being single. I am in pain and depression because of my divorce. If someone can make that pain go away, I will be at peace again.

 

[pjhair]

My fellow men, if a women is not excited about texting you or talking to you as you are to her, LEAVE. If a women doesn't text you back when you text her NEVER text her again. If she makes some excuse when you ask her for coffee or lunch the first time, NEVER ask her again unless she asks you the next time. She is treating you as if you are inferior to her and your existence is not very valuable to her. Don't let her treat you like a f*****g PET. It really bugs me when I see so many men groveling at their feet.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

My fellow men, if a women is not excited about texting you or talking to you as you are to her, LEAVE. If a women doesn't text you back when you text her NEVER text her again. If she makes some excuse when you ask her for coffee or lunch the first time, NEVER ask her again unless she asks you the next time. She is treating you as if you are inferior to her and your existence is not very valuable to her. Don't let her treat you like a f*****g PET. It really bugs me when I see so many men groveling at their feet.

I believe in two or three strikes, but I agree with the general rule.

 

[shookwun]

My fellow men, if a women is not excited about texting you or talking to you as you are to her, LEAVE. If a women doesn't text you back when you text her NEVER text her again. If she makes some excuse when you ask her for coffee or lunch the first time, NEVER ask her again unless she asks you the next time. She is treating you as if you are inferior to her and your existence is not very valuable to her. Don't let her treat you like a f*****g PET. It really bugs me when I see so many men groveling at their feet.

Decent, and spot on post.

I a firm believer in being with a women who wants to seeing you that much more, and has been advice that was given to me by older people also. Find a women that want's you that much more, whether it's 5, 10 to 50%. The moment you are more exciting to see her, and anticipating every moment with a person that doesn't feel the same, is when you got problems.


Women that are head over heals for you, will respond lightning fast.

A women that is truly into you will compromise her schedule, and plans to fit you in, and make time for each other.

When a chick is into you she is excited, and nervous. always wants to look her best around you, make sure her house is clean before you arrive.



Any time a women flakes, leave her in the dust. Do not waste your time trying to re-schedule a date. She doesn't feel the same way.



I can go much more in depth, but this post covers the general basics.

 

[pjhair]

I believe in two or three strikes, but I agree with the general rule.

Two strikes is good, but I wouldn't do more than that. They may have some genuine reason for their inability to respond the first time so it may not be a bad idea to ask again. In fact I asked a girl at work for lunch once. She said she has dentist appointment that afternoon but she will be able to go have lunch with me early next week. I thought she is flaking so I decided to never asked her again. But a few weeks later she came to me at lunch time and asked if I want to go have lunch with her. During lunch she also asked me if I will like to go to a bar with her on Friday. I think once we have expressed our interest and asked them out, we put the ball in their court. If they are interested they will respond. However that's just me. That's the rule I live by. But I have few friends who succeeded in going out with women after asking them third time.

 

[CopeForLife]

My theory is that the 500+ matches are the reason you're not getting any dates.

How can you even know who to talk to? Too many choices, too much stimulation, might lead to lethargy.

I would go over the matches now and see what's going on, try and gauge what your looks level is.

Then, delete your tinder account and start over. You'll still have all the same data, but your swipes will be reset, and other people's swipes of you will be reset.

Once you get to 15 or 20 matches, stop. You don't need the increased validation of more swipes. You cannot possibly go on a date with 100 women fast enough for it to be matter. Once you're at a dozen or so women, talk to a few of them, and after a couple comments just say "Sara, would you like to meet for a drink later this week?"

that's some deepest cope I ever read

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

that's some deepest cope I ever read

Not really. Too many choices can lead to paralysis. That's well known.

You can't get 500 matches without being good looking.

 

[SmoothSailing]

Not really. Too many choices can lead to paralysis. That's well known.

You can't get 500 matches without being good looking.

I don't know why you wouldn't be more selective in your right swipes if you had 500 matches.

Clearly you're only going to talk to a fraction of them, may as well make it the more attractive fraction by being more selective in your swiping.

Unless you're so good looking that these are all 8's and 9's in which case do whatever you want, you have won

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I don't know why you wouldn't be more selective in your right swipes if you had 500 matches.

Clearly you're only going to talk to a fraction of them, may as well make it the more attractive fraction by being more selective in your swiping.

Unless you're so good looking that these are all 8's and 9's in which case do whatever you want, you have won

I suspect that there probably are not 500 8+/10 women on Tinder in my area.

 

[Rudiger]

that's some deepest cope I ever read

People really do throw around the "cope" even when it makes literally no sense in the context.

In what way is that a cope? He's talking about how the guy is inundated with options and it's too much, and to me that makes sense.

Especially if a lot of these women are around the same average level, then do you go for the hotter ones? But are you on their level enough to ensure they'll be happy with you? A lot to think about.

A "cope" would be for example if he started plucking these petty excuses as to why women pick the guy on tinder, being jealous of another person's success and trying to justify shortcomings etc. as it being something unfair outside of his control.

 

[SmoothSailing]

I suspect that there probably are not 500 8+/10 women on Tinder in my area.

I'd say there is more than that here, but Tinder's new algorithm means I never see them lol.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I'd say there is more than that here, but Tinder's new algorithm means I never see them lol.

What's the new algorithm?

 

[SmoothSailing]

What's the new algorithm?

Well I'm not entirely sure, I googled it at one stage.

But about 2 years ago Tinder didn't rank users. This meant that I would just randomly see girls in my area.

Now it ranks you based on how many people swipe right on you, and how many highly ranked (hot) people swipe right on you.

This rank is then used to show people who are at around the same rank as you. They will throw other people into the mix, hotter and uglier, but most of the people you will see will be around at your rank. And most of the girls that see you will be at your rank.

So when I joined I saw a huge amount of hot girls, nearly all right swipes, nowadays, even with a reset account, Tinder quickly realizes and gives me mostly 3's to 6's, so a lot more left swipes.

I'm not sure how this works in low populated areas, probably much less effective.

It makes sense despite the fact it kind of annoys me. I did used to do better on tinder despite worse photo's. Not sure if girls have changed somewhat since then though.

 

[SmoothSailing]

What's the new algorithm?

Here is a great explanation of everything I've just said.

https://www.quora.com/How-does-the-Tinder-algorithm-work

 

[Xander94]

Too many tinder matches lel. Attractive people problems..

 

[Rudiger]

That's actually f*****g fascinating, you aren't allowed to see what's above your "level", it's elitist and dystopian like something from a novel, but it's also understandable. Average guys are going to automatically swipe right if what's in front of them is remotely bangable, so what's the point in even showing him? Leave the hot chicks to more picky men, otherwise these women will have even more unlimited options.

 

[SmoothSailing]

That's actually f*****g fascinating, you aren't allowed to see what's above your "level", it's elitist and dystopian like something from a novel, but it's also understandable. Average guys are going to automatically swipe right if what's in front of them is remotely bangable, so what's the point in even showing him? Leave the hot chicks to more picky men, otherwise these women will have even more unlimited options.

Imagine you were hot, then it starts to make a lot of sense. You wouldn't want to be swiping left nearly all the time on people to ugly for you. You'd rather just see hot girls/guys and pick between them.

But even if you're not hot it should save you time. Swiping right on 8's an 9's if you're a 4 is just a waste of time.

 

[Rudiger]

Imagine you were hot, then it starts to make a lot of sense. You wouldn't want to be swiping left nearly all the time on people to ugly for you. You'd rather just see hot girls/guys and pick between them.

But even if you're not hot it should save you time. Swiping right on 8's an 9's if you're a 4 is just a waste of time.

I am attractive, and if it were down to complete anonymity I'm telling ya, I'd bang way below my normal standard. I don't go near tinder or even social networking really, maybe this is subconsciously why, I probably wouldn't even bother with genuinely attractive girls who may be hard work, when instead I could get it with some plain girl, one and done.

Instead with exclusively meeting women in real life, through friends etc. you build up an expectation of what level women you date are at. If you start dropping below that it becomes blatantly obvious it's to get a one off shag, which a lot of people would mock and find desperate of you (especially female friends).

But that makes sense about guys wasting their time, like I said it's disturbing but sensible.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Well that explains why I have not very well on tinder -- their new algorithm. I'm seeing ugly girls because I'm ugly.