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Nobody implied that I was going to shave my head.
Tinder, Bumble, And Other Dating Sites.
- Thread starter Afro_Vacancy
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Nobody implied that I was going to shave my head.
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That's good. I can't imagine that.
Decision approved!!! Besides, you're a trump supporter.
You have to have low density somewhere!!
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I turn 28 in march and won't be surprised if I go entire 2017 with no prospects. I'm not far behind you.
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It's depressing, isn't it. I'm so f*****g old. I'm probably old enough to David_MPN's father.
But I won't say...
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I'm not a Trump supporter.
I'm closest to Bernie Sanders, among recent significant political figures.
That's the most I'll say about politics in this thread.
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You mean hair wise?
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I don't find it that depressing anymore. If not meeting a partner is not in the cards for me in this life then I'm okay with that. Even though I very much wish to be a dad sometime.. I really want a daughter, but I'm not going to think about it too much.
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You apparently don't realize it, but you're a much better looking man than I am. You have an understandable social anxiety disorder which hampers your potential, but there are effective treatments for that. Should you recover I can see you getting with really desirable women.
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Please don't downplay yourself like that. I'm almost 100% sure if you and I stood together in front of 100 women, there would be many, many, who would like your look more than mine.
Plus your smart as f*** and obviously have a good career. Your doing really well, I'm kind of envious. I was never smart like that or put effort into school. My dream is to be a police officer (since I was about 8) I just got my Metis status card and will be applying to every city police in Canada who are open for recruitment this summer once I have a lot more volunteer hours.
I would befriend you IRL David, even though i probably couldn't keep up with you when it comes to intellectual conversations.
Absolutely spot on. Being sad and depressed in your mid thirties is a huge opportunity cost. I am a software engineer by trade. If I take my job seriously and learn a few things, I can make twice of what I am making right now in SF bay area. But I just do not have any motivation because I am so restless. Also, few years ago, I was planning to get an MBA from some top 20 US university. Unfortunately I was hit with divorce that devastated me mentally and left me unable to continue my education for a few years. Now at the age of 35, I can't get into any top 20 program because of age. It's very important for your career to work hard and learn new things in your twenties and thirties. I am instead just looking for peace. Also, I am one of those guy who did get married in his twenties. That really didn't do me any good. I was hit with divorce and now I am dealing with the aftermath of that along with the dejection of not being wanted by any women online. A feeling that was alien to me till the age of 27.
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I'm sure you're better looking than I am, and the comments from the rest of the forum imply it. Nobody's directly compared us but you've been told you're hot. I get told that if I put in $25,000 for cosmetic surgery and six months at the gym I might look average.
You're downplaying your intelligence, but it does take something to build a home gym and train for two years to build a ripped figure. The average man would not be able to pull it off. First of all he would fail because he would be afraid of the commitment. Then he would fail because he wouldn't know how to assemble the equipment. Then he would fail because he would quit after three days. And finally, he would fail because he can't be bothered to learn proper form, and would thus bust his knees and hips. None of that happened to you, most of that which happens to most men, demonstrating you have a lot going on.
I think I would befriend you and a lot of the forum, honestly.
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Your post explains to me part of the reason you're not doing well with women.
No offense but ... you're an Asian male software developer living in San Francisco. You're definitely playing this video game on hard mode. For the rest of the forum who may be unaware, it's very hard to be a single male in and near San Francisco due to the silicon valley boom, with silicon valley being a male dominated industry. It might be the hardest major city in North America in which to be a single male. pjhair would possibly have it easier if he were a chef or a musician, as he would constitute "counterprogramming".
Due to the fact that you are living life on hard mode, you need more motivation to succeed. However, the challenges involve have the effect of reducing your motivation, creating a vicious circle. I'm in the same situation.
When I was a graduate student, I was often in the office 7 days a week, working until midnight sometimes. Out of several hundred people who completed an astronomy PhD in the USA in 2012, I was in the top 5 or so, in spite of finishing relatively early. I'm capable of terrific things ... when I'm motivated and not distracted. I want to live in a blue-pilled world where I never have to think about finasteride, RU, cialis, L-carnitine, retinol, complex carbohydrates, intermittent fasting, etc ever again, where I can just trust the system because it works for me and to suggest otherwise is just to dabble in crackpot conspiracy theories.
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Lol I am software developer in my mid 20-s. I didn't progressed last year at all due to lack of motivation. Can make decent money as well.
Hope things will get better soon.
Notcoolanymore
Senior Member
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I wouldn't go that far. Personally I didn't think you looked that bad at all. A model? Nope, but most of us aren't.
I am currently not living in San Francisco. My post was poorly worded so it gave that impression. What I intended to say was "I can make twice as much as I am making right now in SF bay area". But that will require me to move there. Also, the reason I am not doing well with women is that there are pretty much no women at my work. The ones I was friends with in college are all either married or are in relationship. Due to my fading looks, online dating has been a failure for me. I have been thinking about taking a part time weekend job where I just get to interact with more women. I have had pretty good success rate in the past with women I worked or went to college with.
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Well, Tinder's new algorithm is largely suggesting obese women to me.
It suggests obese women to me too but I don't really put too much stock into that. What I have accomplished in real life just doesn't match with what Tinder suggests me.
Notcoolanymore
Senior Member
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Internet dating heavily favors women. I am sure you have heard that countless times and it's the truth. Even obese women get attention online, where an obese man would get sh*t on and laughed at.
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Just reading about that algorithm before, there seems to be fine lines of how people are matched up. 7 or 8s + will get a lot of swipes, so that's a simple club to belong to, anything 7 or below? You can get matched with a decent 6 or a horrific 3, it's all over the place and can largely depend on getting off on the wrong foot, then it's all downhill.
Like others have said I wouldn't invest your emotions and self-reflections too much on this.
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