Tinder, Bumble, And Other Dating Sites.

[Afro_Vacancy]

It does look like my dating prospects are drying up. I think I was getting more activity from being a "new face", and possibly also from women having new year's resolutions whereby they would date more. If any of them are attractive, they've probably found multiple boyfriend prospects by now. Some of them may have already quit and gone back to Haagen-Dazs, candy crush saga, and their ex-boyfriends. Some of them may have lost motivation because the Chad Thundercock they went out with didn't call them back. Oh wait, I'm talking about myself but with the genders reversed. In a way, those women are not too dissimilar to myself.

I suppose it's obvious what I should do now. One option is to go out with obese women, and possibly never experience sexual desire again in my life. Another option is to spend ~$20,000 (bulk of my life savings) on a nose job, a hair transplant, etc lose another 15 lbs, and then get marginal benefits at best. Perhaps that will help at some marginal level, but honestly I'm tired of fighting and losing hope. I'm trying to get help by seeing a psychiatrist and it's a f*****g nightmare.

1. I first called HCC (abbreviations deliberate), who referred me to a website
2. I then contacted the website, who referred me to this woman, BR
3. I then contacted BR, who referred me to this woman, RE
4. I then contacted RE, who asked me for a long description of my issues,
5. RE then told me she can't help me, and I should call CG
6. I saw CG, he said the help he can give me is limited, and that I should call SM. When I told CG about my sexual issues, he told me a lot of people are happy in relationships without sex, that they just want companionship.
7. I called SM yesterday, I was told nobody is in office that day because they have work training
8. I called SM again today, a guy answered and spoke to me for what seemed like ten or twenty minutes, then said he can't help me but transferred my call to somebody else, where I left a detailed message in antitcipcation of them calling me back to set up an appointment.

It's absolutely terrible that these are the services for psychiatry. This pocess started on December 5th, it's now January 18th, no appointment made, if I make one perhaps I'll get to see somebody on March 4th or something. I shudder to think about people who have more severe problems than I do. Getting the runaround like this is demotivating, I've been demotivated and I have lost time to procrastination and discouragement as a result.

Meanwhile, I'm 4 months at my job without a dental insurance card. The incompetent twit who said shed get it for me last week has not sent it out to me yet. I could use a dental cleaning.

I cannot work out until April, due to a surgery I'm getting next month. The surgery should have been in ... September? But I have been devastated by a series of issues. My health insurance was a few weeks late, then I saw a GP who's staff didn't mail me my referrals properly, then I saw a surgeon (finally), but he had to go on an extended vacation so they couldn't schedule my surgery for a while.

I did go see a urologist about my ED, and she knew nothing. I told her that there's a correlation between L5/S1 spinal disk problems and ED, that maybe that could be the cause of my problems. I went to the bathroom in the middle of the appointment and she went to look it up on pubmed ... she had clearly never heard of the issue. What's the point of her job? And did she actually think she could understand a medical hypothesis by looking it up on pubmed for three minutes?

I'm f*****g tired of fighting everything. It's just a wall of resistance from the world.

 

[SmoothSailing]

It does look like my dating prospects are drying up. I think I was getting more activity from being a "new face", and possibly also from women having new year's resolutions whereby they would date more. If any of them are attractive, they've probably found multiple boyfriend prospects by now. Some of them may have already quit and gone back to Haagen-Dazs, candy crush saga, and their ex-boyfriends. Some of them may have lost motivation because the Chad Thundercock they went out with didn't call them back. Oh wait, I'm talking about myself but with the genders reversed. In a way, those women are not too dissimilar to myself.

I suppose it's obvious what I should do now. One option is to go out with obese women, and possibly never experience sexual desire again in my life. Another option is to spend ~$20,000 (bulk of my life savings) on a nose job, a hair transplant, etc lose another 15 lbs, and then get marginal benefits at best. Perhaps that will help at some marginal level, but honestly I'm tired of fighting and losing hope. I'm trying to get help by seeing a psychiatrist and it's a f*****g nightmare.

1. I first called HCC (abbreviations deliberate), who referred me to a website
2. I then contacted the website, who referred me to this woman, BR
3. I then contacted BR, who referred me to this woman, RE
4. I then contacted RE, who asked me for a long description of my issues,
5. RE then told me she can't help me, and I should call CG
6. I saw CG, he said the help he can give me is limited, and that I should call SM. When I told CG about my sexual issues, he told me a lot of people are happy in relationships without sex, that they just want companionship.
7. I called SM yesterday, I was told nobody is in office that day because they have work training
8. I called SM again today, a guy answered and spoke to me for what seemed like ten or twenty minutes, then said he can't help me but transferred my call to somebody else, where I left a detailed message in antitcipcation of them calling me back to set up an appointment.

It's absolutely terrible that these are the services for psychiatry. This pocess started on December 5th, it's now January 18th, no appointment made, if I make one perhaps I'll get to see somebody on March 4th or something. I shudder to think about people who have more severe problems than I do. Getting the runaround like this is demotivating, I've been demotivated and I have lost time to procrastination and discouragement as a result.

Meanwhile, I'm 4 months at my job without a dental insurance card. The incompetent twit who said shed get it for me last week has not sent it out to me yet. I could use a dental cleaning.

I cannot work out until April, due to a surgery I'm getting next month. The surgery should have been in ... September? But I have been devastated by a series of issues. My health insurance was a few weeks late, then I saw a GP who's staff didn't mail me my referrals properly, then I saw a surgeon (finally), but he had to go on an extended vacation so they couldn't schedule my surgery for a while.

I did go see a urologist about my ED, and she knew nothing. I told her that there's a correlation between L5/S1 spinal disk problems and ED. I went to the bathroom in the middle of the appointment and she went to look it up on pubmed ... she had clearly never heard of the issue. What's the point of her job?

I'm f*****g tired of fighting everything. It's just a wall of resistance from the world.

Doug Stanhope on the despicably poor mental health service.

Worth a watch, funny.

If you have been out on dates with attractive (or at least not obese) women then I would certainly say don't give up.

People have ups and downs, seems like your on a down at the moment but no doubt things will turn around a bit, after your surgery work on losing those few pounds at least.

Good luck!

 

[Dench57]

acquire aesthetics or die trying

 

[sunchyme1]

See? I told you. He's just a f*****g a**h**.

lol im not a a**h**.

i feel bad for you guys, im losing hair myself remember. it sucks

im not laughing at anyones misfortune here.

its the sh*t that gets talked about from guys like fred which is the joke. thats what i laugh at. its ridiculous and depressing as f***.

 

[hairblues]

When you're in a situation where you're getting lots of first dates with desirable partners, and where you have options, and where you're falling in mutual love, you can have the luxury of asking whether or not these potential partners are viable for long-term relationships. It must be real nice.

then max your looks if you really feel that way.

you have options if you really feel it's your looks we all told you what to fix.

and it sounds like 'looks' is important to you for a mate--so you can't be hypocritical.

i mean you would marry a crap person just because you cant get someone else then thats 'desperate'

you probably don't have to be desperate.

 

[g.i joey]

Yeah man it sucks. Especially in public when I go out to say the mall, or a night out, I get mean mugged by other guys hard and I immediately do the okay.jpg face. My thoughts are these guys are looking at my hairline and thinking I'm genetic trash. When I see a hot woman in public I look down or I'll look away pretending not to notice.. pretty sure this is my social anxiety kicking in? f***.

yeah you def overthink things way too much. Guys dont stare down genetic trash, they dont even acknowledge them. So you know thats not a problem. Plus, when a girl looks at you and you look down, how do you expect her to think you're a dominant man. First impressions are huge with girls, and im sure you're aware of that. Looking down when someone looks at you shows a sign of inferiority. Not saying you are, but you're letting you anxiety control you man.

I honestly believe with you, your looks isnt the MAIN problem, you seem to have huge self esteem issues. Which are fixable, so please work on yourself, you have more opportunity than you probably thing

 

[hairblues]

It does look like my dating prospects are drying up. I think I was getting more activity from being a "new face", and possibly also from women having new year's resolutions whereby they would date more. If any of them are attractive, they've probably found multiple boyfriend prospects by now. Some of them may have already quit and gone back to Haagen-Dazs, candy crush saga, and their ex-boyfriends. Some of them may have lost motivation because the Chad Thundercock they went out with didn't call them back. Oh wait, I'm talking about myself but with the genders reversed. In a way, those women are not too dissimilar to myself.

I suppose it's obvious what I should do now. One option is to go out with obese women, and possibly never experience sexual desire again in my life. Another option is to spend ~$20,000 (bulk of my life savings) on a nose job, a hair transplant, etc lose another 15 lbs, and then get marginal benefits at best. Perhaps that will help at some marginal level, but honestly I'm tired of fighting and losing hope. I'm trying to get help by seeing a psychiatrist and it's a f*****g nightmare.

1. I first called HCC (abbreviations deliberate), who referred me to a website
2. I then contacted the website, who referred me to this woman, BR
3. I then contacted BR, who referred me to this woman, RE
4. I then contacted RE, who asked me for a long description of my issues,
5. RE then told me she can't help me, and I should call CG
6. I saw CG, he said the help he can give me is limited, and that I should call SM. When I told CG about my sexual issues, he told me a lot of people are happy in relationships without sex, that they just want companionship.
7. I called SM yesterday, I was told nobody is in office that day because they have work training
8. I called SM again today, a guy answered and spoke to me for what seemed like ten or twenty minutes, then said he can't help me but transferred my call to somebody else, where I left a detailed message in antitcipcation of them calling me back to set up an appointment.

It's absolutely terrible that these are the services for psychiatry. This pocess started on December 5th, it's now January 18th, no appointment made, if I make one perhaps I'll get to see somebody on March 4th or something. I shudder to think about people who have more severe problems than I do. Getting the runaround like this is demotivating, I've been demotivated and I have lost time to procrastination and discouragement as a result.

Meanwhile, I'm 4 months at my job without a dental insurance card. The incompetent twit who said shed get it for me last week has not sent it out to me yet. I could use a dental cleaning.

I cannot work out until April, due to a surgery I'm getting next month. The surgery should have been in ... September? But I have been devastated by a series of issues. My health insurance was a few weeks late, then I saw a GP who's staff didn't mail me my referrals properly, then I saw a surgeon (finally), but he had to go on an extended vacation so they couldn't schedule my surgery for a while.

I did go see a urologist about my ED, and she knew nothing. I told her that there's a correlation between L5/S1 spinal disk problems and ED, that maybe that could be the cause of my problems. I went to the bathroom in the middle of the appointment and she went to look it up on pubmed ... she had clearly never heard of the issue. What's the point of her job? And did she actually think she could understand a medical hypothesis by looking it up on pubmed for three minutes?

I'm f*****g tired of fighting everything. It's just a wall of resistance from the world.

are you trying to get a psychiatrist or a psychologist?

if its psychologist i would suggest just cold calling some and telling them your having issues with insurance and what they charge for self-paying--some will see you for smaller feee then then initially say..some will even go down to 40 or 50 but usually about 60 or 70 still expensive but at least its better than 200.

i think you are just feeling like its all too much right now.

if its any consolation to you dating apps in my opinion always go in waves for some reason--i don't think its just 'you'. not trying to blow smoke i have noticed that with mine when i was on them one month slammed next month ghost town following month slammed again.

 

[CopeForLife]

looks = everything

 

[Dench57]

i have noticed that with mine when i was on them one month slammed next month ghost town following month slammed again.

You're getting slammed every other month? Not quite Fred numbers but you'll get there

 

[hairblues]

You're getting slammed every other month? Not quite Fred numbers but you'll get there

lol

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

looks = everything

I'd say it's about 90%.

You know what's interesting? In all of the bullshit studies of online dating, nobody has ever done something as simple as use machine learning to rank the relative importance of bone structure, hairline, skin colour, teeth shape, teeth structure, facial symmetry, et cetera. That would be trivial to do, just download 15,000 pics or so, evaluate the faces, set up profiles in an automated manner, and have them autoswipe.

However, we've had studies ranking the importance of the first letter of your screen name, and that you should spend 70% of your text talking about yourself and 30% talking about the other person.

Maybe the researchers who do these garbage studies are deluded blue pillers. Alternatively, tinder and okcupid did those studies themselves, and didn't publish them because they would be bad news.

 

[Dench57]

Alternatively, tinder and okcupid did those studies themselves, and didn't publish them because they would be bad news.

bingo

Better for business if everyone thinks they've got a chance

 

[SmoothSailing]

I'd say it's about 90%.

You know what's interesting? In all of the bullshit studies of online dating, nobody has ever done something as simple as use machine learning to rank the relative importance of bone structure, hairline, skin colour, teeth shape, teeth structure, facial symmetry, et cetera. That would be trivial to do, just download 15,000 pics or so, evaluate the faces, set up profiles in an automated manner, and have them autoswipe.

However, we've had studies ranking the importance of the first letter of your screen name, and that you should spend 70% of your text talking about yourself and 30% talking about the other person.

Maybe the researchers who do these garbage studies are deluded blue pillers. Alternatively, tinder and okcupid did those studies themselves, and didn't publish them because they would be bad news.

The problem is classifying these attributes. Even skin color is hard for a computer to analyze, different lighting and shadows, hairline would also be a best guess. If you could guarantee all the photo's were head on head shots in similar lighting without any accessories it would become a lot easier, even then teeth shape and bone structure would be hard to analyze with current computer vision methods.

There is a lot of study gone into facial beauty though. I've read some before. I actually recall reading that shoulder to hip ratio was more important than height for attraction in one study, I didn't believe it though lol.

I recall that a strong jawline, inset eyes, thick eyebrows and an angular looking face was important in guys.

 

[Baldhurts]

looks = everything

 

[JohnsonDDG]

This might surprise a lot of people, but my answer is no, I'd take the holidays.

My answer might be different if I was still a slick NW5, but I'm good with my current thin Norwood.2.5 coverage.

I've only got one youth, one life, and I want to live it to the max.

What good is having a full head of hair if you're just sitting at home?

Your life still needs to be lived.

He wouldn't be sat at home - he would be slaying of course

Maybe its different for me because I had all my backpacking experiences between 24-26 so I would be okay with no holidays for five years if it meant I was going to be a NW1 forever.

 

[Dench57]

The only benefit would be psychological

Isn't this worth paying for? I'd imagine most people going for cosmetic surgery are doing it because they're deeply unhappy with an aspect of their appearance, it affects them mentally and seeps into every aspect of their life. I'm talking in general terms and not about David btw. This is more fundamental than "looksmaxing" though which is what gets floated around a lot especially when David brings up his dating experiences. I haven't got the impression so far that there's one thing that stands out above any other that affects him. Would be interested if there is.

I would almost always be inclined to say that hair transplant > everything but in David's case, his hair just doesn't seem too bad and it might not have the transformative impact it would on many others. Priority should definitely be continuing to lean out which may have a bigger impact on facial aesthetics than expensive surgery.

This might surprise a lot of people, but my answer is no, I'd take the holidays.

My answer might be different if I was still a slick NW5

You would definitely have taken the hair transplant over the holidays as NW5

 

[JohnsonDDG]

I've had my fair share of 'slaying', it does nothing for me anymore (sorry if I'm triggering all the incels here).

You need some balance in your life, I couldn't say "to hell with travelling now, I'm good for five years!"

I know I would regret it in my later days.

Yeah, that's a fair call - I like your sense of adventure.

But for David this might be different: I think he is a lot more hung up about dating and, from what I read in this thread , he really wants a wife and to settle down. So maybe for him the best thing for him is not a beach holiday to Thailand but to improve his looks and become a better catch and maybe attract a wife.

Also, I totally get the whole not dating as well. I used to do it so much and had a fair amount of success but it all became a bit repetitive after a while. I've also been watching a few MGTOW videos and they put a strong case out that dating robs you of your: time, career, and money.

 

[Baldhurts]

yeah you def overthink things way too much. Guys dont stare down genetic trash, they dont even acknowledge them. So you know thats not a problem. Plus, when a girl looks at you and you look down, how do you expect her to think you're a dominant man. First impressions are huge with girls, and im sure you're aware of that. Looking down when someone looks at you shows a sign of inferiority. Not saying you are, but you're letting you anxiety control you man.

I honestly believe with you, your looks isnt the MAIN problem, you seem to have huge self esteem issues. Which are fixable, so please work on yourself, you have more opportunity than you probably thing

I used to do that to women. If they looked at me I would look away in shame. 100% serious. Now when I go out to do any kind of day to day activities I will never look at a woman, I'll pretend they are not there and keep my head straight. But yesterday I got some new shoes at footlocker and it was a female sales associate, I was very polite and nice.. because I had to interact with her. Otherwise I pretend they are not there.

 

[Dench57]

Yeah, probably not the bald thing that's the problem mate

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Adrian Brody and Adam Driver are two guys who can slay with huge noses.

They have other things going for them, mainly height, frame, hair, skin, low body fat, and probably teeth if I looked at more photos. I've heard both of these men described as ugly, but I my honest suspicion is that there's a long line of women waiting to sleep with them.

[I'm aware that I have neither their height, their frame, nor their hair.]

There was a stupid woman at my old job who described Brody as "ugly hot" (or some dumb term like that), she had this really nonsensical explanation of why Adrian Brody was both ugly and hot at the same time. It's bullshit of course. He's not ugly and hot at the same time. He is above average in looks, that is all.

What would you ladies and gents assign Brody and Driver out of 10?